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a mom is detoxing her girl from disney princesses; but should she?
Topic Started: Sun Jul 11, 2010 12:15 pm (1,112 Views)
Praxius
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Mass'Debater
Quote:
 
i came across this blog about a mother
that's trying to get her 3 year old daughter away
from disney princesses, because they
"hijacked" her imagination.
my question is, should the mother really be this concerned?

from the blog;
Quote:
 
Why The Concern
I'm a psychotherapist with training in play therapy. I spent my first years out of graduate school working with sexually abused kids, observing their play, and guiding them toward recovery. As the child healed, their play reflected more typical themes of play of a child their age, whether 2 or 12. When younger children are in therapy, play is used to as the mode of communication because it reflects the child's world, their understanding of the universe. Watch a child play for 20 minutes and you will learn more about him or her than through 20 minutes of asking them questions.


That explains it.... her mother is a psychotherapist trained and educated in analyzing every single aspect of a child's life and I'd suspect her own daughter over the few years she's been on this planet has been subjected to a number of her mother's tests and reviews..... because she's been trained to study children coming out of abusive and traumatic situations and it was part of her daily job for quite some time, it sounds to me as though she can't shut this off when she comes home and takes everyday child's play from her own daughter and over-analyzes the situation when it's not needed, thus creating the problems she's trying to solve.

Quote:
 
I noticed some things in my daughter's play that were red flags to me, such as:

1. Rigidity in Role: Putting on a Disney Princess Dress, my often running/jumping child became stiff and kept her hands at her side stating, "Princesses don't run or jump."


That's a phase ffs..... my sister and a couple of my cousins did the same things when I was growing up and they started acting all posh.... it didn't mean they were going to start killing and eating poodles, geez.

Quote:
 
2. Helpless Heroine: With her hands at her face, she would look around in dismay then go sit on our step stating, "Princesses have to wait for the Prince."


That's what they typically do in those prince/princess stories.... I'd hate to see what she would have thought about me going all ninja turtle on the neighborhood when I was growing up :rolleyes:

Quote:
 
3. Rapunzel Syndrome: I regularly cut my daughter's hair, until around the time I was observing this play. When we talked about trimming her locks, she burst into tears, "Princesses don't have short hair!"


"Rapunzel Syndrome?" :blink: Does that actually exist or is she just making shit up?

She's a friggin kid trying to role play something she likes.... she likes princesses and their stories because they represent a lifestyle where everything they want is given, there's usually someone always coming to save/protect them, it's a position where they're considered important, desired, needed, etc..... more important then their friends, even more important then their parents.... just like boys like role playing super heroes, etc.

Long hair is a part of what she sees as being a princess and when you decide to cut it, you are taking away one of her physical links to the thing she finds enjoyment in..... of course she's going to get upset.... but she'll get over it.

Quote:
 
4. Dress Drama: Refusing to wear anything but dresses because "princesses don't wear pants." Also? "Princesses don't wear hiking boots." Thankfully, there's a book for the last one.


Yes because books have all the answers for every situation and every child.

Some children don't like pants..... others don't like dresses..... my wife never really cared for dresses and even today she's not a big fan..... she didn't become some axe murderer......

I don't like sandals/flip flops.... Does that mean something's wrong with me?

This mother needs to keep her work at work, and be a mother when she's at home with her own daughter..... and she needs to clue in that a child's imagination is a powerful thing and for a couple of years in their younger lives, can influence and shape everything they do to a particular aspect as though what they believe is real.

This has nothing to do with being raised in a horrible home nor does it have anything to do with them having horrible parents. My mother put up with my crap and my imagination for quite sometime.

Enjoy it, let them be a kid.... go along with it even.... eventually one day they'll walk in the room and no longer have any interest anymore.... she won't be a princess anymore, I'm no longer a ninja turtle and I grew out of it on my own..... they'll usually respond with "Princesses are for babies" or "little kids" and they'll hit a stage in their development where they want to be a big kid and do what the big kids do.

The more you treat their "fun" as being a problem or signs of some worse underlying issues..... the more you try and stop their acting and imagination, the longer they'll resist and the longer they will hold onto this role playing.... because it creates attention for them and it's also a means of protest in some cases.

And if it is a form of protest, then chances are her mother is seen as spending more time with other children and not her own because they're worse off then her little princess...... either way the case may be..... the problem lies with the mother first.

At least as I see it based on the given limited information.

If she makes sure she let's her kid be a kid and makes sure she spends enough time with her, this won't be a problem and she'll move on to something else.
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CaptDennyCrane
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spocklet
Jul 12 2010, 12:57 AM
....Which raises an interesting point; would a princess mom, raise a princess daughter ?? It seems more likely that she would, more so than a normal mom, simply because she's a princess (in her own mind) herself and so would treat her daughter the same way.

I know of at least one where this is true.

Mom is a total clueless dame - always had everything handed to her, and she married well, and continues to have the world handed to her. Has 3 daughters...Brittany, Brandi, Brooke. Seriously.

Youngest one is 14. Ask anyone of them a simple life question...huuuunnnnhh? whhhaaaaat?
Mom says its alright - look at them, they're gorgeous - they're going to marry well.

They are, they know it, and they probably will.
Nice work, Mom. :denny:
The unambiguous and defined essence of a truest friend, is a single soul, shared in two bodies. A person who completes you so, that it pains you when they hurt, and sustains you when they are with you, no matter how far.
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wissaboo
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but what if they don't?

keep in mind there are lots of beautiful smart women out there too
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CaptDennyCrane
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There can be only one

I never said there weren't, but no, these really are dumb as a stump and will most likely wind up being someone's trophy wives
The unambiguous and defined essence of a truest friend, is a single soul, shared in two bodies. A person who completes you so, that it pains you when they hurt, and sustains you when they are with you, no matter how far.
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Mojochi
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...........................

'No matter how attractive a woman is, somewhere there's a man who's sick of her shit.'
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VioletCloud
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I dont have kids, but I do think its important to steer them in the right directions... and if they become obsessive with something.. try to distract the with something else or focus them on different aspects.

I like princesses... I never played them as a small child, cause I grew up with all boys.. so it was mostly Ninja turtles, transformers and GI joe.
as a result.. I was a tomboy... and I didnt relate to girls at all till about junior high.
I like pretty dresses and dressing up now.... but I also want to kick your ass if you are gonna be the boss of me, like some cheap princess.

anyway.. lol.. enough of that.
Disney princesses.. are tough girls! with the exception of one or two.
So perhaps she should point out the strong points of those girls!

example:
Princess Jasmine
a spirited young woman with a mind of her own
self-confident and full of vigour, Princess Jasmine is not afraid of adventure. In fact, she is a very curious and very brave young princess who wants to see the world just as it is, not cooped up in any sort of palace. Though rich and powerful, she does not give herself airs. Honest but cunning.

Disney princess's are more about adventure than being pretty...
for most of the movies being a pretty princess is only the last 15 minutes of the film..lol

its all focus

I feel bad for this lady's kid. Shes going to be analyzing the shit out of the poor girl till shes 21!
All my posts are done from my tablet. I apologize for all strange errors in my posts... as swype hates me. :violet:
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slutpuppy
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Mojochi
Jul 12 2010, 01:10 PM
'No matter how attractive a woman is, somewhere there's a man who's sick of her shit.'

i heard steve harvey say that on his radio show and laughed for the rest of the day
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trekslut=lus stalker rest in peace mr meowgi 12/28/10
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thank you denny, i love it!!! :*
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Praxius
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Mojochi
Jul 12 2010, 02:10 PM
'No matter how attractive a woman is, somewhere there's a man who's sick of her shit.'

*raises hand*

It is I who is the man you are speaking of :thumbsup:
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VioletCloud
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Water Tribe!
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:lol:

that quote goes both ways, of course!
All my posts are done from my tablet. I apologize for all strange errors in my posts... as swype hates me. :violet:
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AWOLangel
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also i think there's a concern (from this mom)
about future body image. will constant exposure
to disney princesses/barbie/bratz give unrealistic
exceptions about her body? the woman quoted a study
from '91 that said 81% of 10 year old girls are afraid of being fat.
(Mellin et al., 1991)

so is that a valid concern?

also this mom has issues with the "hijacking" of
her kid's imagination. her theory is if the kid is
given a toy with a "story" (name, parents, place to live, etc.)
they won't go beyond that in their play. but if the kid gets
a generic princess doll, lets say, they'll make up more
stories about it.


All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln
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wissaboo
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^ I think there is a lot of reason to be concerned. For both boys and girls. A huge majority of today's toys don't encourage imaginative play. Even lego sells only sets now with instructions of what you are supposed to build with it.
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Alisium
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wissaboo
Jul 12 2010, 01:32 PM
^ I think there is a lot of reason to be concerned. For both boys and girls. A huge majority of today's toys don't encourage imaginative play. Even lego sells only sets now with instructions of what you are supposed to build with it.

Yeah,

I've been noticing that for Legos. It's maddening that I can't find just some supplemental blocks for anything under $30.
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wissaboo
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and all our lego is gray :lol:
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Moon
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Alisium
Jul 12 2010, 05:12 PM
wissaboo
Jul 12 2010, 01:32 PM
^ I think there is a lot of reason to be concerned.  For both boys and girls.  A huge majority of today's toys don't encourage imaginative play.  Even lego sells only sets now with instructions of what you are supposed to build with it.

Yeah,

I've been noticing that for Legos. It's maddening that I can't find just some supplemental blocks for anything under $30.

Lego Ultimate Building Set

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wissaboo
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Admin
since the regular price is $29.99 that is probably the set he was referring to :p
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Moon
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wissaboo
Jul 12 2010, 08:11 PM
since the regular price is $29.99 that is probably the set he was referring to :p

But you can find them.

We have oodles of lego's in those huge containers from when Noah was younger.

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DNesh
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Us.....
Moon
Jul 11 2010, 05:25 PM
I had a child who referred to herself as Cinderella Claire, instead of Claire. She got to enjoy her film, and I made her a dress to wear for playtime, but I also talked to her in simple ways to make sure she understood things. Ironically she understood much better than most adults would have given her credit for.

She's going into middle school this fall, is over being a princess, is a good, loving, kind hearted individual and always is remarked on how well behaved she is.

For whatever reason, children like to do things over and over, it helps them to learn and so forth.

My eldest had a friend who would always have on her birthday party invitations "no barbies or barbie like toys please". You know that was the mom. Whenever she was here, that's all she wanted to do.

Ya. It's called a phase. They outgrow it. If ya can't enjoy your childhood what the hell can you enjoy.
And....the kids!

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CaptDennyCrane
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There can be only one

This kid is 3 right?

I'd say I agree thats its a phase, as young kids are too fleeting and fickle to establish full blown obsessions at that age. They'll do things, then a butterfly flutters by, and their attention shifts.
The unambiguous and defined essence of a truest friend, is a single soul, shared in two bodies. A person who completes you so, that it pains you when they hurt, and sustains you when they are with you, no matter how far.
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DNesh
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Us.....
Then again when I was a kid I loved to play with Trolls. It was when they first arrived on the scene in the 1960's. My friends and I loved the Troll house and the Trolls in all their nakedness & wacky hair.....

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Come to think of it I grew up to marry (sort'a) an ogre like looking troll, who loves to dwell in his small cave, mostly, if not naked....His hair is also freakishy long and troll like.... :confused: :crying: :doh: :o :waiting:

Maybe that woman should be very concerned..... _lmao_
And....the kids!

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wissaboo
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Admin
:lol:
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