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to the straight guy at the party; an ad on craig's list
Topic Started: Sun Jun 20, 2010 2:15 pm (245 Views)
AWOLangel
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this has been taken down, but someone did a copy & past to their blog.


A mutual friend of ours threw a big party for her 30th birthday, tons of people were there and it was a lot of fun. Somewhere along the line you and I ended up on the balcony for some fresh air at the same time. We started chatting; we talked about sports, books, tv – discovered we both are about to start our masters degrees and spent some time debating the pro’s and con’s of the educational system. We talked about hanging out sometime, and you wanted to meet my girlfriend.

I understand how upsetting it was for you when I blinked mildly in surprise and said I was here with my husband. I know it was a shock to your system, if your face had turned any paler I might have called 911. You made a good recovery though - that hurried mutter of “I’m not like that” was very polite and you only knocked over two drinks and one vase in your hurry to rush to anywhere other than near me. I can’t blame you – I forgot how delicate you straight boys are. So I wanted to give you a few helpful hints about where you went wrong last night.

1) As a general rule we don’t walk around with big signs around our neck proclaiming our sexuality. No scarlet letters, no scent of hellfire and brimstone… sorry about that.

2) We do not generally assume that everyone within 5 feet of us must also be homosexual – it was nice of you to immediately reassure me that you are hetero, but it was really unnecessary.

3) Homosexuality is not infectious. While I am sure you meant no disrespect with your hasty departure; in the future you can rest assured that taking a few extra seconds in your mad dash for safety will not result in you being turned gay. It will however keep you from destroying expensive vases and knocking over senior citizens.

4) This next one may come as a surprise; but you are not, in fact, irresistible. The fact that you have a dick does not instantly turn me into a bundle of uncontrolled lust. Contrary to popular opinion, being in the same room with a straight man does not cause a gay man to instantly lose all common sense and basic common courtesy. Though I am not so sure about the reverse.

5) Homosexuals in general get a little irked when people treat us like some sort of leper. Rushing to another mutual friend of ours and advising him of my sexuality, so he could be “forewarned” was really uncalled for.

6) Upon being told (by said mutual friend) to stop being an idiot and that you were not my type anyway… it generally confuses the issue when you then proceed to become upset that I DON’T find you attractive. Three seconds ago you were running through a crowd of people with your hands cupped protectively over your junk as if I might attack you at any moment with a blowjob. See hint number 4.

7) We homosexuals have an odd sense of humor – I can’t help that. Something about watching you freak out as if all the demons of hell were after you just struck me as vastly amusing.

8) While being pissed at me for dissolving into uncontrollable laughter might be understandable… gathering a couple guys together to “teach the fag a lesson” is not.

9) You might also want to drink a little less and be a little more careful about the guys you approach for your little proto-hate-mob.

10) Assuming the two tall muscle-bound bruisers must be uber-hetero and just as appalled by my presence as you was your first mistake. It was an understandable one though. How were you to know that pflag tshirt the first guy was wearing wasn’t a sports team? Also the rainbow ring the second guy was wearing could have meant anything I am sure.

11) In retrospect I suppose that upon hearing your not very subtle hate-talk and seeing who you were heading for; I could have said something instead of just laughing harder. I apologize for that. I should have just introduced you to my husband instead of letting you walk up to him and ask him if he wanted to help you teach “that fag over there” a lesson. I hope that broken nose heals up cleanly.
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln
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VioletCloud
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Water Tribe!
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Ive never understood why some straight people (not just men) think that if there is a gay person of the same sex as them around.. the gay person must want them! :lol:


I doubt that event actually happened... but its a good teaching post.
All my posts are done from my tablet. I apologize for all strange errors in my posts... as swype hates me. :violet:
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spocklet
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Live long and prosper.....!!

:liz: :liz: As a former taxi driver (long time ago), I had to carry a lot of gay and lesbian passengers. Generally, they were usually some of the nicest people I met, and great sense of humour too.

When I first met them naturally I was worried/cautious/curious I guess, but as I got to know them (and that they weren't about to jump me) I learned to relax in their company and enjoy the journey. Know what ?? They're just people, that's all.

R.I.P. Gummy, we'll miss you bro
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ForgetMeNot
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My best friend in high school was bisexual. She told me once that if I was bi, she'd have dated me, but she knew that I wasn't into that, so she settled for being my best friend.

I was, and still am, totally cool with that.
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Praxius
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The funny thing about the original post is that the guy was married, therefore the straight guy shouldn't have had anything to worry about from the get go. :p

I certainly don't have an issue with gay people. I'll talk with them, hang out with them, shoot the shit with them (figuratively speaking of course) and if others have an issue with me doing so, or think that because I associate with anybody gay, that I must be gay as well.... well that's of course their problem, not mine.

Besides, what do I care what others think anyways? I'm married, I know I'm straight, and I sure as hell don't need to impress other people based on who I associate with.

I had a friend in High School who eventually came out after high school. It explained a few things, but I don't think of him any differently, and I can certainly understand why he didn't come out while in school. Our school wasn't the most tolerant of schools.

As they say, small towns breed small minds (Not absolutely of course) and I got enough crap tossed my way growing up just for being who I was.... I could only imagine what would have come my way if I was gay and the rest of the school knew.

My cousin is also gay, has a boyfriend last I heard and another cousin of mine came out about a year ago.... doesn't phase me any.

To explain a bit about that odd mentality explained above from some odd straight guys.... I believe the reason why some react the way described above is not so much the fact that they feel they'll suddenly turn gay, but some fear that being associated with a gay person may make some girls around them think he is gay as well, therefore in their mind, they could jeopardize possible encounters with some straight women there.

It's a stupid mentality, but in some remote sense, I can understand it.... it's still a childish mentality though, much like the other aspects explained/described above.
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jadziaezri
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Well?!?!

I'm bisexual, people seem to think that it means that I can't be in a committed relationship. I have been with my husband for 6 years now, we have two darling children. I still have fantasys about women, and if we broke up there is nothing to say which way I would go. I lost a lot of friends in high school when I came out because they were worried that I wanted them.
My bisexuality is very rarely talked about in my house simply because its not an issue. I have a loving partner and don't need to wander. I don't tell people about it much anymore because its not something mature adults usually talk about, but those that need to know do.
[marq=left] :jenna: :jenna: Spampage in Progress :jenna: :jenna: [/marq]



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