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A new Joke Thread
Topic Started: Tue Aug 4, 2009 1:05 am (4,122 Views)
Gummy
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Me in 10 years^^^


What do you get when you mix PMS with GPS?

A crazy bitch who will find you
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wissaboo
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Admin
:liz:
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spocklet
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Live long and prosper.....!!

:liz: :liz: :liz:

:huh: :wissa: :mojo:

:liz: :liz: :liz:
R.I.P. Gummy, we'll miss you bro
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AWOLangel
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a blond woman cam home early from work and found her husband in bed with another woman. she pulls a gun out of her purse & puts it to her own head. "no! don't do it!" her husband yells. she tells him; "shut up! you're next!"
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln
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spocklet
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Live long and prosper.....!!

:liz: :liz: :liz:
R.I.P. Gummy, we'll miss you bro
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Gummy
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Me in 10 years^^^

:clap:
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spocklet
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Live long and prosper.....!!

Ok, I got one.

A detective receives a tip-off as to where bodies were being stashed. They went there, and started digging. 93 corpses later, someone pointed out they were in the local cemetary.
R.I.P. Gummy, we'll miss you bro
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wissaboo
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spocklet
Aug 4 2009, 10:41 AM
Ok, I got one.

A detective receives a tip-off as to where bodies were being stashed. They went there, and started digging. 93 corpses later, someone pointed out they were in the local cemetary.

:liz: :liz: :liz: :liz:
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alittleham
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I've been telling this joke since I was 12.

There was a race in the jungle where you had to run out and find 10 kinds of 1 fruit and then come back to the finish line for a special prize. 3 people signed up and the race was on! The first contestant came back with 10 apples. The judge then said, "If you can stick them all up your butt without making any noise, you win the special prize of a million dollars." But the guy could only fit in 1 apple without grunting so he lost. The second guy came back with 10 blueberries. The judge told him the rules and he got the 9th blueberry up before he started cracking up and was disqualified. The first guy asked the second guy, "You were so close! Why did you start laughing and lose the million dollars?" The second guy replied, "I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples."

:magstar:

I made this joke up for a TV Production class when I was in sixth grade. Not bad for a 12 year old, eh? ;)
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do. And if you do, take pictures." -Al Calavicci, Quantum Leap
:alittleham:
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Gummy
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Me in 10 years^^^

Sex in the Shower.


In a recent survey carried out for a leading toiletries firm (Brut), people from Detroit and Chicago have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower! In the survey, 86% of Detroit 's and Chicago 's inner city residents (almost all of whom are registered Democrats) said that they have enjoyed sex in the shower.
The other 14% said they hadn't been to prison yet.
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wissaboo
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Admin
:lol: that is funny
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Gummy
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Me in 10 years^^^

Magstar
Aug 4 2009, 03:19 PM
I've been telling this joke since I was 12.

There was a race in the jungle where you had to run out and find 10 kinds of 1 fruit and then come back to the finish line for a special prize. 3 people signed up and the race was on! The first contestant came back with 10 apples. The judge then said, "If you can stick them all up your butt without making any noise, you win the special prize of a million dollars." But the guy could only fit in 1 apple without grunting so he lost. The second guy came back with 10 blueberries. The judge told him the rules and he got the 9th blueberry up before he started cracking up and was disqualified. The first guy asked the second guy, "You were so close! Why did you start laughing and lose the million dollars?" The second guy replied, "I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples."

:magstar:

I made this joke up for a TV Production class when I was in sixth grade. Not bad for a 12 year old, eh? ;)

:liz: :liz: :liz:
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spocklet
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Live long and prosper.....!!

:liz: :liz: :liz:


Both good jokes.
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AWOLangel
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a man walks into a department store & sees a display of music boxes. he opens one & it plays "happy birthday to you." his wife's birthday is the next week & he thinks she'll like one. there's a couple of different sizes, and figuring they're all the same, he takes a smaller one. the next week the husband's out of town for business when the wife has her party with all of her friends. she opens the gift from her husband & they all ooo and aah over the music box. she opens it to hear the tune; "the old grey mare, she ain't what she used to be"
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln
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alittleham
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That's sad. :p
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do. And if you do, take pictures." -Al Calavicci, Quantum Leap
:alittleham:
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spocklet
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Live long and prosper.....!!

But funny. _lmao_
R.I.P. Gummy, we'll miss you bro
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Gummy
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Me in 10 years^^^


HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:




"Bubba,

Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and
messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell
from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

Better wait outside. Be right back.

Cooter"
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spocklet
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Live long and prosper.....!!

:liz: :liz: :liz:

R.I.P. Gummy, we'll miss you bro
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magentastorm
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Randomer than you since 1992

:liz: :liz:

Wonder if that would really work? :mojo: Some criminals are pretty dumb...

http://www.funlol.com/659/Top_10_Dumb_Criminals!.html
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ForgetMeNot
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Lame joke from work!

Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A: Doyouthinkhesaurus
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