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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,028 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:17 pm Post #19941 |
 
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… And They Say The Post Office Is Slow Post Office | Troy, NY, USA (A customer is buying a stamp for a letter shortly after the 2007 price increase.) Customer: “Why can’t I get a 39 cent stamp? You still have them.” Me: “We still have them in stock, but we have to make up the difference with 2 cent stamps. Don’t worry, we’ll stick the right amount on for you.” Customer: “I just want a 39 cent stamp.” Me: “Okay, but your letter will not get there.” Customer: “Just give me it!” (The customer takes the stamp, affixes it, and tosses the letter into the slot. I promptly pick up the letter from the bin and stamp it “Insufficient Postage, Return To Sender”.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:17 pm Post #19942 |
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There Are No Stupid Questions, Just Stupid People, Part 2 Garden Center | Toronto, ON, Canada (I overheard a coworker trying to help someone choose a plant.) Coworker: “Hi, how can I help you today?” Customer: “I’m looking for a nice plant for the front of my house.” Coworker: “Alright, we have a number of excellent options to choose from. What kind of sun exposure does the spot get?” Customer: “Well… it’s light all day, then dark at night.” Me: *losing hope* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:18 pm Post #19943 |
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There Are No Stupid Questions, Just Stupid People Call Center | Louisville, KY, USA (As with most customers, once you’ve told them to “right click” on something one time, they can’t help but ask you about it every few seconds…this was a special instance.) Me: “Alright ma’am, I need you to click on the icon for me.” Customer: “Right click or left click?” Me: “By default, always left click, unless I say otherwise.” Customer: “Alright.” (5 minutes later…) Me: “Ok, go ahead and click on that button for me.” Customer: “Right click or left click?” Me: “By default, always left click, unless I say otherwise.” (5 more minutes later…) Me: “Can you click on that icon for me ma’am?” Customer: “Right click or left click?” Me: “By default, always left click, unless I say otherwise.” Customer: “You already said that like three times!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:19 pm Post #19944 |
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Next Time, Less Hair, More Planning Buffet Restaurant | Ottawa, Canada (My mother is a hostess in a Chinese buffet restaurant. Said restaurant only has Chinese employees. A woman with a fully stacked plate angrily approaches her.) Woman: “Excuse me! There’s a hair in my food! You have to give this meal to me for free!” (My mother looks at the woman’s plate, and what does she find? A single long blonde hair, neatly laid on top of her plate.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:20 pm Post #19945 |
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How To Scam A Scammer, Part 5 Gas Station | Ontario, Canada (It’s about closing time, and I’m doing the final stock of the tobacco stuffs, while a police officer (there because of problems with stealing of in-store merchandise) writes out his nightly report. In walks a very short person, obviously under 19, whiter than Casper, and dressed like a pimp.) Short Pimp: “Packa Players!” Me: “ID?” SP: “What?” Me: “I need to see your ID, or you can’t have ‘em.” SP: “You don’t need my ID! I’m 21!” *starts cussing* Me: “Yes, but we have to ask if you look under 40, so hand it over.” SP: “Well, you’re giving me the smokes anyways–and for free now because of the way you’re treating me.” Me: “Uh-huh, and I’m Bill Gates.” SP: “Fine! Here’s my ****ing ID!.” *hands over an obviously fake ID* Me: “Okay, do you have a real ID?” SP: “That is real, a**hole!” Me: “Dude, no it isn’t. If you’re gonna use a fake ID, get someone who can at least spell Ontario.” SP: “FINE! I’ll just shoot you, and take what I want! (Short Pimp sticks his hand in his pocket, and pretends that there’s a gun in there.) Me: “Right, because a cop totally isn’t standing right behind you with his very real gun at the back of your head.” (At this point Officer Cool Guy had gotten up, and pulled his “very real gun” [read: just his night stick, but held like a gun] on Short Pimp, but SP didn’t know that.) SP: “It’s because I’m black, isn’t it?” Me: “Next time try [competing gas station], and don’t come back.” (Once SP leaves Officer Cool Guy and I try very hard not to bust out laughing.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:20 pm Post #19946 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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I'm so proud. :cry2: |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:21 pm Post #19947 |
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How To Scam A Scammer, Part 4 Fast Food | Phoenix, AZ, USA (My mom and I did long shifts at the restaurant we worked at, from 10 AM to 9 PM. Around 6:30 PM we received a call from a customer.) Customer: “Hi, I’m calling in for a complaint.” Me: “Okay, what’s the problem?” Customer: “Yeah, I came in this morning and ordered some food, but the guy there, he just PUNCHED me in the face!” Me: “Wh…you’re saying somebody working here punched you? When?” Customer: “It was today around noon. The man working there punched me. So can I get some free food? ‘Cause it really hurt. I mean, I could sue you guys.” Me, trying really hard not to laugh: “I’m sorry, sir, we can’t do that. My mother and I have been working here since the restaurant opened and I assure you, neither of us have punched you in the face. Also, we only have female employees…” Customer: “…Oh.” *click* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:21 pm Post #19948 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:21 pm Post #19949 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:22 pm Post #19950 |
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How To Scam A Scammer, Part 3 Restaurant | Washington, DC, USA Me: “Good evening, how may I help you?” Customer: “Yes, I placed a carry-out order there tonight and it’s all f***ed up!!” Me: “Ok ma’am, I’m sure we can resolve this.” Customer: “This always happens here.” Me: “Have you placed a lot of carry-out orders with us within the past few weeks?” Customer: “Yes, four in the past two weeks, and they were all wrong.” Me: “Well were they expensive items? Such as our 20oz porterhouse or our foie gras? Or were they cheaper items such as potato skins?” Customer: “Both. Mostly porterhouse steaks though. And I want free food to make up for all of this, and I want it delivered.” Me: “Well ma’am, I’d be happy to do that.” Customer: “You’d better be!” Me: “May I have your name, and address so I can have these delivered?” Customer: “Amy ***. My address is ***.” Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Just so you know, we have never carried a porterhouse steak, or foie gras. Nor have we had potato skins in the past 5 years. By the way, we have not done carryout for 7 months. And to top it off the police will soon be heading over to that address that you so graciously gave to me; undermining a store keeper is a crime in this city. Have a nice night.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:22 pm Post #19951 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:22 pm Post #19952 |
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How To Scam A Scammer, Part 2 Key Shop | Chicago, IL, USA (Note; electronic ignition keys sell for $25 to $90) Customer: “I want to return this key. Here is the receipt.” (The electronic key is worn from use; the receipt is 2 years old) Me: “What’s the problem?” Customer: “It doesn’t work.” Me: “Well, let me go out to your car and see what the problem is.” Customer: “I sold that car.” Me: “OK, but it looks like you’ve been using the key for a long time. It must have worked.” Customer: “Well it did work, but I sold the car and I don’t need it anymore, so I want my money back.” Me: “Well, I’m sorry sir, but we sell keys; we do not rent them. When you sell the thing the keys fit in, you either give the keys to the new owner or toss them. And even if we did rent keys, the rent for two years would be more than the purchase cost–so actually you would owe us money.” *customer runs out the door* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:22 pm Post #19953 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:22 pm Post #19954 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:23 pm Post #19955 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:23 pm Post #19956 |
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Lesson 1: How To Scam A Scammer pizza | Unknown Location Pizza Delivery Customer: “I want this pizza for free.” Me: “No cash, no pizza. I don’t care if you don’t eat or not.” Pizza Delivery Customer: “Well, I know the owner of *** Pizza!!!” Me: “Really, how do you know me?” (Customer puts his hand and his pocket and pays for the pizza) (Note: I’m not really the owner of *** Pizza) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:23 pm Post #19957 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:23 pm Post #19958 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:23 pm Post #19959 |
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Murphy’s Law In Action Coffee Shop | Washington, D.C., USA Me: “Tall latte on the bar.” (The latte does not get claimed.) Me: “We’ve got a tall latte up here, ready for pickup.” (The latte still does not get claimed. We make drinks for a few other customers, giving it a few more minutes.) Me: “Okay, last call for a tall latte, if nobody claims it we’re pitching it.” (The latte once against does not get claimed.) Me: “Okay then…” (I pour the drink down the sink.) Me, to a coworker: “I bet that in less than 30 seconds, we’ll get someone asking about a tall latte.” Woman, exactly 0.0001 seconds later: “Hi, was there a tall latte?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:23 pm Post #19960 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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