 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,031 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 2:34 pm Post #19881 |
 
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Hopefully They Didn’t Fly, Because Someone’s Walking Home Hotel | Los Angeles, CA, USA Me: “Good morning, ma’am. How may I help you?” Hotel Guest: ”I was charged for two movies last night that I did not watch.” Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately I can not adjust these movies off. They were completely viewed from beginning to end–both movies.” Hotel Guest: ”That’s absurd, there’s no way I saw those movies last night. I was asleep. What are the movies that were watched?” Me: “They’re adult movies, ma’am…” Hotel Guest: *enraged* “I DID NOT WATCH ANY DIRTY MOVIES!” Me: “Is there someone else in your room that may have ordered them?” Hotel Guest: “It’s just me and my boyfriend…” Me: *tight smile* Hotel Guest: ”Oh. My. God. He ordered porn. We’re at a romantic getaway and he orders porn! I’m going to kill him!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 2:36 pm Post #19882 |
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Hopefully, She Got The House Hotel | Rhode Island, USA Me: “Thank you for calling, how may I help you?” Guest: “Hi, yes, I’m calling because your hotel charged our credit card twice?” Me: “Okay, ma’am, if I can have your name, I’ll look you up in the computer and we can get this straightened out.” Guest: *morphs into an uber-witch in 3 seconds flat* “Straightened out? D**n right you’re going to get this straightened out! You charged enough for that crappy little room, I’ll be d**ned if we’re paying for it twice! My husband works too hard for his money to be charged double for something like this! There wasn’t even a BAR there!” Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but if I can just have your name and the date you stayed–” Guest: “That’s just IT! I was charged on two separate DATES. My name is _______ and my husband and I stayed there on June 9th. There’s another charge on there for the 17th, I want this fixed!” Me: “Yes, ma’am. I understand, ma’am. I’m looking now, ma’am… okay, I see the problem. You did stay here on the 9th of June. I’m showing that someone by the name of [husband] stayed on the 17th.” (There’s dead silence for a moment, and then whispering.) Guest: “What?” (At this point my stomach falls into my shoes, because I can hear her mind ticking away, and I know something she doesn’t: another name is listed on the screen with her husband’s for the June 17th stay, and it’s NOT HERS.) Me: “Um… ma’am?” Guest: “I see. You’ve been very helpful.” Me: “Thank you ma’am. Can I help you with anything else today–” (At this moment the woman drops the phone but does not hang up, and I hear her begin to scream at someone, swearing in combos I never would have thought up. I hang up quickly and try to go about my business, making a note of it to tell my boss. Then I get another phone call…) Me: “Thank you for calling, how–” Guest’s husband: “I want to talk to your manager, you stupid little b**ch! You dumb little c**t, you probably just cost me my marriage and I am going to sue your s**thole hotel for every penny it’s worth! Do you hear me? Do you?!” Me: *click* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 2:37 pm Post #19883 |
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She Saw Seashells And Social Strata Retail | Petaluma, CA, USA Me: “Hello, thank you for calling ***, how may I help you?” Customer: “Do you have any floating candles?” Me: “Yes, sir, we have a Fourth of July set of red, white and blue star-shaped floating candles, and we also carry a set shaped like seashells.” Customer: “Yeah, I saw those. The seashells are too ghetto. Do you have any plain white ones?” Me: “No, I’m afraid the seashells and the stars are all we have. They’re too… ghetto, did you say?” Customer: “Yeah, this is for an outdoor party, you know? Thanks anyway.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 2:38 pm Post #19884 |
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We All Feel Your Pain Convenience Store | Altoona, PA, USA (I was in line to pay for a snack at a local convenience store when an elderly woman comes in, heads right to the front of the line.) Customer: “My gas tank isn’t filled.” Employee: “I’m sorry, I’m waiting on these customers right now. If you get in line, I’ll be happy to–” Customer: “No! Your gas isn’t filling my tank, and I want to know why.” Manager: “I’m sorry, may I help you?” Customer: “Your gas doesn’t fill up my tank. I came in with less than half a tank and your gas didn’t even fill it up three quarters of the way!” Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ll have someone come in and look at the pump you were using. For right now, you’re welcome to go to one of our other pumps and finish filling your tank.” Employee, to the manager: “She only prepaid $10…” Manager: “You prepaid for $10 of gas?” Customer: “That’s right.” Manager: “And… $10 isn’t… filling your tank….” Customer: “When my husband, God rest his soul, pumped gas, he used to pay $10 and it would fill up our tank.” Manager: “When was this?” Customer: “That doesn’t matter! My son-in-law has been pumping my gas since. I’ve given him $10 and it’s filled up my tank every time. You’re trying to take advantage of me because I’m an old woman!” Manager: “No, ma’am… the price of gas has gone up quite a bit in the last few years… It costs me almost $50 to fill my car–” Customer: “Don’t give me that! It’s always cost me $10… I’m going right to the Better Business Bureau and the Attorney General’s Office!” Manager: “Yes, ma’am. Sorry about the trouble. Good luck with all that…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 2:39 pm Post #19885 |
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Mmm, Moisturizer Gelato Shop | Montana, USA (At the shop, all the flavors of gelato are plainly labeled. This particular question happened almost daily…) Customer: “What does the Rose taste like?” Me: “Roses.” Customer: “No way! Let me try!” (I hand the customer a sampler of rose-flavored gelato.) Customer: “It tastes like lotion!” Me: “How often do you eat lotion?!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 2:39 pm Post #19886 |
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T-Minus Five Seconds Until YouTube University Computer Lab | Portland, OR, USA (A student needed a stack of VHS tapes converted to DVD. The first couple tapes were nothing special but the third looked like the camera had been set up in a hotel room. The three of us working in the lab were wondering if it was even her tape until we saw the student sit down on the bed. Then she laid back. Then someone else stepped into the frame and started taking off her shirt. I ran to the phone to call the student while a crowd gathered in front of the computer.) Me: “Hi, this is *** from the lab. We’re working on your tapes right now but we’re not quite sure about one of them.” Her: “What do you mean?” Me: “Well, one of them seems like it might have slipped into the stack accidentally.” Her: “One of mine? Wha–OH MY GOD! The sex tape?!” Me: “That’s what it looks like.” Her: “Oh my god! Just box it up and hide it. I’ll be right down to pick it up!” Me: “I’ll pull it right away.” Her: “Please, don’t let anyone else watch it!” *people cheer excitedly in the back of the lab* Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am. I’ve already shut it off.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 2:42 pm Post #19887 |
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The Matrix Rejected Theme Park | Florida, USA (I used to work in a shop selling overpriced family coat of arms in a shop at a certain theme park in Florida. After a transaction had gone through, this customer turns to her daughter.) Customer: “Was that lucky?” Oracle Child: *stares blankly* Customer: “Was it unlucky to buy it using that card?” Oracle Child: “Yes…” Customer: “You sure it was unlucky?” Oracle Child: “Yes.” Customer: “I have to cancel that purchase and use a different card.” Coworker: “It’s already gone through.” Customer: “This is [theme park]!” (My coworker has to oblige the customer and hands her the forms to cancel it. Stupidly, she refuses to sign the forms and storms out with her husband and Oracle Child in tow.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 2:42 pm Post #19888 |
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How Cute, You Learned A New Vocab Clothing Store | Upstate New York, USA Customer: “I want this particular size in this particular style of jeans.” Me: “Well, I don’t see your size out here, so let me check the back.” (I go to check the stock room, even though I know we’re out.) Me: “I’m sorry, but we’re all out.” Customer: “You’re persecuting me.” Me: “Excuse me?” Customer: “You heard me; you’re persecuting me.” Me: “… I can check with the store across town to see if they have what you’re looking for.” Customer: “Fine.” (The store across town has a pair of the jeans in question. I ask the customer if she wants to go pick them up; the store will have them on hold for her.) Customer: “You mean I have to drive all the way across town?” Me: “Yes.” Customer: “You’re persecuting me.” Me: “Well, if you can wait until tomorrow afternoon, we can have the other store ship them and you can pick them up here.” Customer: “So, you want me to wait an extra day and make an extra trip back here for a pair of jeans.” Me: “Or drive across town for them today, yes.” Customer: “You’re persecuting me.” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 3:17 pm Post #19889 |
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Ba Dum Dum *Chhh*, Part 2 Coffee Shop | New Haven, CT, USA Me: “I have a tall mocha.” Customer: “That’s me, thanks.” Me: “Thanks! Have a good one!” (She returns in less than a minute with a disgusted look on her face.) Customer: “What is this?!” Me: “That’d be a mocha latte.” Customer: “Does it have espresso in it?” Me: “Yes. ” Customer: “Ugh, this is the worst thing I have EVER put in my mouth!” Me, without a beat: “Ma’am, I highly doubt that.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 3:18 pm Post #19890 |
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Ba Dum Dum *Chhh* Bookstore | Sacramento, CA (Customer standing on top of an old, oak library ladder) Bookstore Customer: “If I was your attorney, I would make you get rid of this ladder.” Me: “If you were my attorney, I’d push you off it!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 3:18 pm Post #19891 |
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It’s Not Unusual To Be Fake With Anyone Financial Services | Nottingham, UK (I work in the Asset Management Department for a provider of loans and mortgages. It means that I have to try over the phone to get money out of people who haven’t made their monthly payments in ages.) Customer: “Hello?” Me: “Hello, is that Richard White?” Customer: “Yeah, who’s this?” Me: “Hello Richard, this is Maria calling from *** Finance. I just need to ask you some security questions before I proceed: could you please give me your date of birth?” Customer: “…” Me: “Hello?” Customer: “Oh yeah… it’s… um… 3rd of December… 19… 74.” (This is a completely different date of birth to what is on my screen.) Me: “And you confirmed that you are Richard White?” Customer: “No… my name’s… um… my name’s Tom.” Me: “Tom?” Customer: “Yes.” Me: “Tom what?” Customer: “Tom… Jones.” Me: “But you just said you were Richard White.” Customer: *hangs up* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 3:19 pm Post #19892 |
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Never Piss Off A Man With A Meat Cleaver Grocery Store | Edmonton, AB, Canada (It was 5:45 pm on Christmas Eve, and the grocery store I worked at closed at 6 pm.) Customer: ”Why don’t you have any big frozen turkeys? I need a 20 pound frozen turkey!” Me: ”Sir, we only have what’s left in the counter.” Customer: ”Go look in the back! I know you have some hiding back there.” Me: ”Um, sir, I put all the turkeys out already. What’s out is all we have.” Customer: ”LISTEN! I NEED A G**D*** 20 POUND TURKEY! GET IN THE BACK AND FIND ME ONE!” Me: ”There are no more turkeys in the back…” Customer: ”I’ll just go look myself!” (The customer proceeds to march through the “Staff Only” doors and is met by one of the butchers who stands 6′ 5″.) Customer: ”GET ME A G**D*** TURKEY!” Big Butcher: ”GET THE H*** OUT OF MY STORE!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 3:19 pm Post #19893 |
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And Here, We See The Customer In His Native Habitat Grocery Store | Vancouver, BC, Canada (I was quietly working down my aisle when a disgruntled man stops at the end and looks at me.) Me: *resumes working as he is making no advances* Man: “Awwharhaghhsss!” Me: *looks up* Man: “TOMATO SAUCE!” *angry look* Me: “Uhhhh…” Man: *furious look* Me: “… aisle 10!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 3:20 pm Post #19894 |
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It’s For A Really Long Game Of Musical Chairs Music Promotions | Florida, USA Man: “Hey! You guys are giving away 100 free tickets to the Friday show, right?” Me: “Yep! We have 24 left, and each customer can take up to four. How many do you need?” Man: “Awesome! Can I have the rest?” Me: “Sorry, sir. The limit is four per customer.” Man: “But they’re free… what do you care?” Me: “I care that the line of people behind you get some as well. Would you like four tickets?” Man: “Give me the rest! You don’t understand, I NEED them!” Me: “Sir, the limit is four. I’m sorry.” Man: “I want the rest! You have to give them to me! I’m a paying customer and I deserve it!” Me: “The tickets are free, sir… and you can have four of them. Would you like four FREE tickets?” Man: “I need the rest of them! Everyone in my party needs to have one!” Me: “Well, I can offer you four tickets for free and a discount if you wish to buy more. How many people are in your party?” Man: “It’s just me and my wife.” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 3:21 pm Post #19895 |
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Picking The Wrong Employee To Mess With Drug Store | St. Paul, MN, USA (I had a severe headache from having been locked in the store overnight while the floor was being stripped. The store opened on time and the manager arrived in street clothes to help move displays back to the tile.) Old Lady: “Do you want to look in my shopping bag? Me: “No, ma’am, you’re fine.” Old Lady: “LOOK IN MY BAG!” Me: “I don’t need to.” (The old lady comes over, opens it, and shoves it in my face.) Me: “Okay, then…” (I peeked in the bag and saw her groceries from another store.) Old Lady: “What the h*** do you think you are doing? I’m not a thief! Where do you get off doing something like that! Just because I am old doesn’t make me a thief!” Me: “What? Where do you get off coming in here and raising your voice at me?” Store Manager: *quiet* Old Lady: “There was no reason to look in my bag!” Me: “I don’t know what your problem is, but you are going to take it with you and leave this store right now!” Store Manager: *still quiet* Old Lady: “You had no right to look in my bag!” Me: “Ma’am, you demanded I look in that bag. Even the store manager heard you do it. I’m in no mood for your paranoid games. If you ever come back in here and treat any of my employees the way you have just treated me, I’ll escort you through that door so fast you’ll get whiplash.” Old Lady: *huffs out* Store Manager: “A little tired, are we buddy?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 3:22 pm Post #19896 |
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Dora The Exploder Retail | Connecticut, USA Customer: “Hi, I’d like one of those balloons. The Dora one, please?” Me: “Sure thing!” Customer: “What do you fill those with? Propane?” Me: “(!?) Uh, no. Helium.” Customer: “Is it going to explode in my car?” Me: “No, it shouldn’t…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 3:22 pm Post #19897 |
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One Man’s Trash Is… Another Man’s Trash Hotel | Blacksburg, VA, USA Hotel guest: *glances at front desk* “Do you have any newspapers?” Me: “If there aren’t any out on the counter, we’re all out.” Hotel guest: “Are you sure?” Me: “Yes sir, I’m sure. If I had any more, I assure you they’d be sitting there on the counter.” Hotel guest: ”Okay, is there one in there?” *points to trashcan behind the front desk* Me: ”Um, sir… are you asking if there are any newspapers… in the trash?” Hotel guest: “Yes.” Me: ”Um… well… sir… I don’t think you want to look through here, there’s food and all sorts of gross–” Hotel guest: “I want to look through there for a newspaper.” Me: ”Um, okay…” (He brings the trash to the front and starts digging through it.) Hotel guest: ”UGH! This trash is DISGUSTING!” *storms off* (There was a gas station literally 100 feet away from the hotel. This guy would rather dig through the trash for a newspaper than walk up the street and buy one.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 3:25 pm Post #19898 |
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The Honest Liar Restaurant | New Jersey, USA Me: “Thank you for calling [italian restaurant], how can I help you?” Customer: “I’d like to make a reservation for two people.” Me: “I’m sorry, we only take reservations for parties of six or larger.” Customer: “But I want to make a reservation for two people.” Me, repeating: “I’m sorry, we only take reservations for parties of six or larger.” Customer: “Well, what if I tell you the reservation is for six people and then only show up with two?” Me: “Ma’am, I won’t write that reservation down.” Customer: *click* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 3:26 pm Post #19899 |
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One Loses His Allowance, The Other His Immortal Soul Dollar Store | Kane, PA, USA (I was in high school working at a dollar store. It’s a small town so Sundays are usually busy after church services. This man, his wife, and his young son were in line.) Me: “That will be $25.30.” Man: “I’ve only got $15… we gave twenty at the offering today. You think you could give me a break?” Man’s young son: *innocently* “We didn’t give any money at church today.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 3:27 pm Post #19900 |
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The Joys Of Motherhood Convenience Store | Virginia, USA (A mom and little girl are waiting in line. I watch from a different line.) Little Girl: “Can I have this candy?” Mom: “No, put it back.” Little Girl: “But that’s not fair! That’s not fair!” Mom: “Cut that out!” Little Girl: *takes a deep breath and calms down, then turns to her mom* “I’m killing you. I’m going to kill you.” Mom: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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