 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,037 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:23 pm Post #19761 |
 
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1PM And We Are Always Looking for Something New to Try at the Employee Picnic... VP: There is a reason why advertisers do not target user-generated content. They do not want their ads being placed next to naked women. With casual gaming and chess videos, they know what they get. Unless you have nude chess games...and in that case, I need to learn how to play. Denver, Colorado Overheard by: Sabotage |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:23 pm Post #19762 |
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12PM Maybe He's Studying to Be a Doctor? Redneck woman: So you think chip's gay? Son: I don't know. Redneck woman: Maybe he just likes to look at pictures of naked men. Who knows? Gainesville, Florida |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:24 pm Post #19763 |
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11AM Hey, in England They Have a Whole Day Devoted to Boxes. Receptionist: Would you like to keep the box it came in? Admin: Hmm... No, it's okay, thanks. (later) Receptionist: That box was really cool because it just folds down. You don't have to cut any tape off because it doesn't need tape. Admin: Damn! Missed out on a good one. Receptionist: It's still here! Admin: I think I have too many. But how often do you come across a really great box? Receptionist: What have our lives come to? Sacramento, California Overheard by: cardboard cut |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:24 pm Post #19764 |
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10AM Seriously? Boss, about job applicant: If he's really serious, I want you to push him hard to see if he's serious. Bethesda, Maryland |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:24 pm Post #19765 |
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9AM Jesus, Dude, Order Online, Wouldya? Customer: Can I get a pack of condoms? Clerk: Yes, what kind would you like? Customer: Um, whatever is smallest. Union City, Georgia Overheard by: Amanda |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:36 pm Post #19766 |
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5PM I Never Promised You a Real Word. Employee #1: Give me an "h"! Give me an "o"! Give me an "n"! Give me an "o"! What does that spell? Employee #2: "Hono"? Employee #1: Yeah! Department Store New Zealand Overheard by: Sars |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:37 pm Post #19767 |
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4PM If It Is the Greatest Story Ever Told, Why Can't I Remember It? Football fan, during Good Friday: Oh, why can't we all be happy in here? It's the birth of god today! Or something... Football Club England |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:37 pm Post #19768 |
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3PM From Disney's Winnie the Double Poo Employee/roommate #1: I'm sorry but I have to keep my poop in the refrigerator. Employee/roommate #2: Only if you double bag it. 39th St & Broadway Manhattan, New York Overheard by: Annie |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:38 pm Post #19769 |
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2PM You'll Look for Any Excuse to Press an @sshole, Herbert. Frustrated old man, walking away from service call button at Home Depot: Might as well hang an @sshole up there and press that! San Diego, California |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:38 pm Post #19770 |
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1PM Look Over There and Follow Bob and Janet's Shining Example Employee: I just pulled up my information on the system and had a question. Manager: You can't pull up your own information, you can pull up Sophie's, but not your own. Employee: Oh, I didn't do anything on my file, I was just playing. Manager: You can play with each other, just not yourselves. Calgary Canadia Overheard by: Matt Bangsund |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:39 pm Post #19771 |
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12PM ...Just Charge the Penis Enlarger to My Corporate Account Loud HR director on "confidential" call: At the risk of sounding unethical... Charlotte, North Carolina |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:39 pm Post #19772 |
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11AM Maybe He Has a Lead on Carmen Sandiego Admin, screaming into phone: What do you want me to do? I can't do this now, I'm at work! (pause) Well, I can't deal with this now, I'm working! I don't know what to tell you! (pause) I don't have any damn money!! I spent all my money on that private investigator! (pause) I can't do this now, I'm at work! Boss: Sarah, in my office now. Admin: I have to go, my boss needs me. Manhattan, New York Overheard by: Jeremy Hawn |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:40 pm Post #19773 |
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10AM As I Explain in Painstaking Detail to All Of My Dates IT director: You have to think of an org chart as a sort of hierarchy. Ottawa Ontario Canadia |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:40 pm Post #19774 |
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9AM Translation: Once It's in Writing, I Can Take the Credit IT manager: What is the plan for the internal server deployment? IT drone: We are going to the client on Monday to stand up the server. IT manager: You promised me a plan by 5/1. Where is it? IT drone: The plan is that we will go to the client on Monday and do the work. IT manager: You understand, I need a plan. When can you get it to me? Washington, DC |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:40 pm Post #19775 |
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5PM Don't Worry-- I Only Wear Them When I Mock You. Coworker #1: I didn't know you wore glasses! Coworker #2: These are yours. Manhattan, New York |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:40 pm Post #19776 |
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4PM Yours Is the "Lollipop Guild" Song, for No Reason Whatsoever Cube rat #1: Oh, I love that ringtone! That's from Wizard of Oz, isn't it? Cube rat #2: Yeah, Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead is my favorite song in that whole movie. Cube rat #1: Who called? Cube rat #2: My mother-in-law. Cube rat #1, lauhging: Got any others? Cube rat #2: Yeah, I've got If I Only Had a Brain on there, too. Cube rat #1: Who's that one for? Cube rat #2: My boss. Bossier City, Louisiana |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:41 pm Post #19777 |
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3PM Oh, the Snickermanity! Programmer, in otherwise quiet office: Wait, what? How is that "snickerdoodle" isn't in my phone's T9? Mesa, Arizona Overheard by: Chris Cardinal |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:41 pm Post #19778 |
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2PM Our Ancestors Were Hunters, You Know Male intern #1: Was she hot? Male intern #2: She had a huge rack. Female intern: (laughs) Male intern #1: What? Are boobs funny now? Female intern: No, he just didn't really answer the question. Male intern #2: Yeah, I did. He basically said "would you do her?" and I said "yeah." Female intern: No, I mean, if you just saw her face, would you say she was pretty? Male intern #2: If I saw just her face? Female intern: Yeah. Male intern #2: I wouldn't recognize her. Des Moines, Iowa |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:42 pm Post #19779 |
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1PM To Be Fair, She Sounded a Little Nuts. Receptionist to boss: I just got a call from Mrs Smith. She said she fell out of her boat and hurt her scrotum. Boss: Her scrotum? Receptionist: Yeah, something on her back. Boston, Massachusetts |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:55 pm Post #19780 |
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12PM Um, Actually... Manager: So there was this one time I spent $600 on snack foods. Clerk #1: What? Manager: Yeah, my friend and I went to the grocery store and bought a ton of food, but we also decided to bring along his cat in a backpack, and then we let him out in the store because we figured he was old and wouldn't escape...but he did. We lost him in the store, and then we left. Clerk #2: You just left the cat behind?! Manager: There's no stopping the Frito Bandito. Maine Mall Portland, Maine my comment; that poor cat |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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