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Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,040 Views)
AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:00 pm Post #19701
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Suddenly I'm Craving Chocolate Chip Cookies Girl: What if I started saying "ahoy!" instead of "hello"? Group of girls: Ahoy! --Union Square Overheard by: Pirate at Heart
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:00 pm Post #19702
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Not 'Til You Can Learn to Master Your Gag Reflex, Young Lady 12-year-old girl: Mom, can we get a hot dog or something later? Girl's mom: No, it'll make you fat. 12-year-old girl: But... Girl's mom: Fat! --F Train Overheard by: Immallama
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:01 pm Post #19703
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Nobody Parties Like Classics Majors Party Girl #1: I have a dirty, pathetic crush on Octavian. But really only when he's Octavian. Caesar Augustus, not as much. Girl #2: I can definitely see that. He was pretty cute. And he was the emperor. Girl #1: If I'd been around, I would have knifed that Livia bitch and totally tapped that ass. (pause) That imperial ass. --Columbia University Overheard by: I'll be your emperor
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:01 pm Post #19704
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	So Now I'm Learning Seductive Phrases in Klingon Teen girl #1: I think you should just jump him. Teen girl #2: I tried. It's a complicated situation. Teen girl #1: How's that? Teen girl #2: Well, I told him that I was bored and home alone... Teen girl #1: And? Teen girl #2: And he told me he was busy watching Star Trek. --Alice's Tea Cup
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:02 pm Post #19705
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Why It's Better to Marry a Gay Guy Hurried woman: Well, I don't want to wear heels. Could I just wear flats? Annoyed and confused man, angrily: I don't know what flats are! As long as they're not moon shoes you'll be fine. --F Train
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:02 pm Post #19706
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Also, Your "Work Uniform" Is a G-String and Pasties Girl #1: So he's like, "I saw your Facebook photos of you outside of your work uniform. You really like to party." And I'm like, "Well, I'm 25 and single, what else do you think I like to do?" Girl #2: Yeah, I mean really. But you know, it's assumed that if you're under 27, all you do is party and sleep around. --Kew Gardens Overheard by: CollegiateCutie
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:03 pm Post #19707
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	I'm Still Full from Lunch. Ghetto guy: You want to suck another d@ck. Frizzy-haired blonde: I ain't sucking anyone else's d!ck today. --W 4th St & Broadway Overheard by: JZ
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:03 pm Post #19708
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	...But All I'd Said Was, "Some Weather, Huh?" Guy, after lengthy technical explanation: Yeah, so SPF 10 is only twice as strong as SPF 5. Girl: Now I get it. --Elevator, 39th & 2nd Overheard by: kerin
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:03 pm Post #19709
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	9 Out Of 10 Physicians Agree! Girl #1: Say it! My boobs are juicy and delicious! Girl #2: No! Girl #1: Come on, say it! You know it's true! --91st St & Madison
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:04 pm Post #19710
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Straight People Really Need to Learn the Art Of Apologin Hipster queer #1: I brought you out here to tell you that I slept with your boyfriend last night. Hipster queer #2: You are a bad bad friend. Hipster queer #1: You've had worse. Hipster queer #2: But not hairier. Hipster queer #1: Would you like some gin? Hipster queer #2: Obviously. --Central Park Overheard by: hairless
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:04 pm Post #19711
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Worst. Infomercial. Ever. Girl: I have to pee sooooo bad! Mother: You just went to the bathroom ten minutes ago. Girl: But I have to pee again! Can you put something in my vagina to hold it up? --M104 Bus
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:04 pm Post #19712
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Except, Of Course, a Big Grin. Travel agent: But they do give a wristband to all-inclusive guests and... Slightly pudgy woman, in exasperated voice: But I don't usually wear anything on holidays! --Travel Agent, 23rd St
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:05 pm Post #19713
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Tofu : Vegetables :: Dick Cheney : Humans Veggie-curious girl: I like to get this really great dressing and then add all sorts of interesting vegetables. Supportive friend: Like what? Veggie-curious girl: Tofu! --Rockefeller Plaza Overheard by: receptionist Headline by: EddieA
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:05 pm Post #19714
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	And See If Fate Lends a Hand Guy #1: Dude, there is this bar up in Albany where you are basically guaranteed a hand-job. You don't even have to buy them a drink, it is like destiny. Guy #2: We should go there this weekend. --6 Train Overheard by: nicjustice
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:05 pm Post #19715
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	"Cancun," Loosely Translated, Means "Filthy Twenty-Somethings" Girl on train #1: Yeah, that was when I was snorting coke out of Maya's fake nails. Girl on train #2, appalled: Ew! That's so dirty! Girl on train #1: It was spring break in Mexico, everything was dirty. Girl on train #2, shrugging: True. --A Train
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:06 pm Post #19716
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Pippi Longstocking Had This Problem Well Into Adulthood Guy to friend: So, Kirsten's cute. Friend: I only like her in her leggings. --NYU Overheard by: yomama
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:06 pm Post #19717
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Tonight, on Queer As Fock... Drunk passerby to group of hipsters in front of him: All these f#cking nerdy guys are with hot girls these days. Female hipster: Oh, why thank you! He's gay, so it doesn't really matter anyway. Drunk passerby: Oh, damn. He's gay...? Male hipster: Yeah, but I'm a math major, so it was fair of you to call me nerdy. --East Village
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:07 pm Post #19718
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Unless Cocaine and Penises Count Chubby girl: I need to lose some weight before I go on vacation. What did you eat when you went on your three-day diet? Anorexic girl: Uh...I didn't. --Union Square
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:07 pm Post #19719
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	And a College Boy Would Never Put That in an Inappropriate Place Guy #1: Yeah, so I'm going back to the doctor to get the rash checked out. They think I might be allergic to my girlfriend's... Guy #2, interrupting: Oh god, I don't want to know. Guy #1: Skin lotion! Guy #2: Oh. Guy #1: Dude, what did you think I was about to say? It's on my hand. --Columbia University Overheard by: I wasn't thinking it.
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Fri Jun 5, 2009 3:07 pm Post #19720
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Did You Shave Your Eyes Again, Harry? Crazy man to cop: Where's you hair? Where's your hair? Cop: What did you do to yourself? Crazy man: I didn't do nothin'. Where's your hair? --Port Authority Bus Terminal Overheard by: Ems
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


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