 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,046 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:48 pm Post #19581 |
 
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And Molded It Into the Shape Of a Little Man! Girl #1: You know it really makes me sad that after all this time you still don't appreciate my art. Girl #2: That isn't art, you found it in your underwear! Amarillo, Texas my comment; ew! |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:48 pm Post #19582 |
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On the Plus Side, She Was Doing Some Pretty Nifty Baton Tricks Security guard to woman who just drove over the curb: Are you drunk? Woman driver: No, she (points to passenger) was distracting me with my vibrator! Hospital Parking Lot Denver, Colorado |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:48 pm Post #19583 |
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The Feather Boas Are Confusing English teacher: Going around is a sheet with some 1920s slang, so you can get used to it before we start reading The Great Gatsby. Okay, so, everyone knows what a flapper is...? Tenth grader: Oh, like a transvestite, right? Tinton Falls, New Jersey |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:49 pm Post #19584 |
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That's What We All Want, Jimbo. Thug to two others, leaving subway: Yo, let's hurry. I want to get good seats so I can suck her daddy's d!ck. Government Center Boston, Massachsetts Overheard by: Jchill |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:49 pm Post #19585 |
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Like "Reach Out and Touch Someone" Was Any Better? Lecturer, about advertisements: A hug that lasts all day? What is that, like bondage? Urbana, Illinois |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:49 pm Post #19586 |
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Apparently the Grace Period for Blaming the Potato Famine Has Expired Irishman to friend, huddling under bar's awning during massive downpour: And people wonder why we drink... Dublin Ireland Overheard by: l_tau |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:50 pm Post #19587 |
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Even Nymphs and Satyrs Need a Day Off, Sir Man wearing cargo pants, on day before Easter: So what's this foolishness about you guys being closed tomorrow? YMCA staff member: Apparently, we're celebrating Easter. Man wearing cargo pants: But you guys are pagan! Naperville, Illinois Overheard by: Lauren |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:50 pm Post #19588 |
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I Blame the Vast Fixodent Conspiracy Guy: I've heard that old people have the stickiest fingers. Arvada, Colorado |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:50 pm Post #19589 |
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Maybe They Could Just Hold Hands While the Piercings Did It Bathroom chick #1: So he had three piercings up there and two down there... Bathroom chick #2: He said he had one that would get her off on her clit if they did it doggie style. Bathroom chick #1: But what if her clit was pierced too? And his piercings on her clit? Chilkoot Charlies Anchorage, Alaska |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:51 pm Post #19590 |
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All Octopus Hymns Have Eight Verses Chick: I just don't want to sing about suckers with the step family! Michigan Overheard by: Meister E. |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:51 pm Post #19591 |
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Tommy Was a Shoo-in for the Cast Of Jackass 2028 Enthusiastic two-year-old boy: Mommy, my bottom just burped! Illinois Overheard by: martha |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:51 pm Post #19592 |
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Wishes He Had a Girl Who Looked Good He Would Call Her? White girl to white guy: Oh, I get it. So a baller pops his collar. St. Louis, Missouri Overheard by: Emmitt |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:52 pm Post #19593 |
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Why Lightbulb-Shaped Buttplugs Exist. Punk girl: A lamp? Punk guy: While it was still on. Punk girl: Didn't that like...burn the colon? Punk guy: Apparently it wasn't on at first. Someone decided to plug it in as a joke. Punk girl, giggling: Oh my god...what happened with that? Punk guy: I don't know--all I know is that it involved the hospital. California |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:52 pm Post #19594 |
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And That Won't Give Her a Yeast Infection? 30-something black man on cell: Yeah. Put ketchup on it, it tastes like spaghetti! All Star Cafe Berkeley, California |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:52 pm Post #19595 |
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I'm Like, "Everybody Dies-- Walk It Off!" Guy with mullet on cell: He's in that "oh, my wife just died" mood. (long pause) Yeah, I know. Boo-hoo, ya f#ckin' p#ssy! Plantation, Florida Overheard by: Just wants to buy some Spaghetti-O's |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:53 pm Post #19596 |
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It's Cheez-Its for Dinner Now, Beeyotch! 25-year-old man: Hey, Bella, I got you funyuns! Five-year-old girl: Ewwww! 25-year-old man: Well, f#ck you then. Lake View Terrace, California Overheard by: James Jameson |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:53 pm Post #19597 |
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When I Went Into Insulin Shock, the Joke Was on Her! Loud fat man on bus: When I first found out I had diabetes, I had my wife go out and buy me a big case of pudding cups. I opened each one up and poured them into a tub with some milk. Friend: Oh? Loud fat man on bus: My mother-in-law didn't believe I could eat it, but I sat down in front of her and drank the whole thing, just to spite her. Portland, Oregon |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:53 pm Post #19598 |
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Cute Puppets! Guy to couple: Hey there, what are you doing ? Man: I'm teaching Nikki sexual sign language. Hinckley England |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:53 pm Post #19599 |
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...Did I Just Say That Out Loud? Businessman on cell: I could barely see over her head, dude! It was like reading Klingon for the first time. Independence Avenue Washington, DC |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 7:54 pm Post #19600 |
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...to Use the Proper Measurement Units. 50-something man to another: I got a bunion you could hang a hat off of. Durand Eastman Golf Course Rochester, New York |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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