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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,048 Views) | |
| Gummy | Wed Jun 3, 2009 4:50 am Post #19541 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed Jun 3, 2009 4:51 am Post #19542 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed Jun 3, 2009 4:51 am Post #19543 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed Jun 3, 2009 4:51 am Post #19544 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 2:49 pm Post #19545 |
 
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more from notlawysright.com Honey, He Ain’t A Scrapbooking Project Hospital | Michigan, MI, USA (I witnessed this on the hospital floor where I work. A patient’s daughter comes out of a hospital room and stands in the hallway, staring around looking lost.) Nurse’s aide: “Can I help you?” Daughter: “Yeah… can I have a stapler?” (The nurse’s aide walks about two steps away to get a stapler and then thinks better of this request.) Nurse’s aide: “Why do you want a stapler?” Daughter: “My dad’s IV tubing is getting in his way. I thought it would be better if we stapled it to his arm.” Nurse’s aide: “Um, I think tape would work better for that.” Daughter: “You guys have tape here?” Nurse’s aide: “Yeah, I have some here in my pocket.” (The aide walks into the room to secure the IV tubing before any more of his genius children try to help.) Daughter: *muttering* “I still think a stapler is a better idea…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 2:50 pm Post #19546 |
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My Parents Threatened To Do This Monthly Restaurant | Chicago, IL, USA (I worked at a sandwich place. The order area had a counter. A man walks in carrying his year old child, and sets the child on the counter.) Man: “Do you guys take trades?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 2:50 pm Post #19547 |
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We Can Thank Hollywood And “Hacker” Films For This Tech Support | Columbus, OH, USA Me: “Can I help you?” Caller: “My car won’t start.” Me: “Excuse me?” Caller: “My car won’t start. It ran fine earlier but since I’ve visited your site it won’t turn over.” Me: “Uh… is your computer attached to your car? Draining the battery?” Caller: “No, the computer is in the house.” Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t see how visiting a web site, let alone ours, could affect the operation of your car.” Caller: “I thought this was tech support?” Me: “That’s correct. We are not car mechanics, however.” Caller: “Look, I hear about web sites hacking into people’s lives all the time. I see no reason why they couldn’t hack cars or anything else they wanted.” Me: “Are you kidding?” Caller: “No! My car worked fine earlier! I went to your site and now it won’t start. Why are you hacking me?!” Me: “We aren’t. You don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.” Caller: ”F*** YOU! GET OUT OF MY CAR, YOU–” Me: *click* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 2:51 pm Post #19548 |
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Who Needs History When You Have Hollywood Retail | Myrtle Beach, SC, USA (A tourist walks up to my register with a handful of trinkets. I ring her up, she pays, I bag the items, and hand her the coin change. As she steps away, I see a dollar still on the counter.) Me: “Ma’am, you forgot the rest of your change.” Tourist: “Oh! I guess I did, unless you were paying me in pesos.” Me: “Excuse me?” Tourist: “Pesos. The money in Mexico.” Me: “I know what a peso is, ma’am, but I’m not Mexican.” Tourist: “Puerto Rican?” Me: “Not even close.” Tourist: “Cuban?” Me: “No.” Tourist: “What are you, then?” Me: “I’m Native American.” Tourist: “So am I.” (She’s white as notebook paper.) Me: “No, I mean the people here before white people.” Tourist: “What do you mean?” Me: “You don’t know about Natives? Indians?” Tourist: “Oh, you mean the people John Wayne killed off.” Me: “Just take your change.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 2:51 pm Post #19549 |
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… And We Wonder Why Everyone Hates Us Frozen Yogurt Shop | Pasadena, CA Customer: “Are you Hispanic?” Me: “No.” Customer: “Middle Eastern?” Me: “No.” Customer: “Egyptian?” Me: “No.” Customer: “What are you?” Me: “Chinese.” (customer puts on offended face) Customer: “I don’t appreciate you treating me like I’m dumb.” Me: “Excuse me? I’m being honest.” Customer: “NO CHINESE PERSON WOULD EVER HAVE EYES AS BIG AS YOURS!!!” Me: *mouth wide open* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 2:52 pm Post #19550 |
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Not Quite Shuffled Off This Mortal Coil Funeral Home | Cincinnati, OH, USA Customer: “My mother is dying at **** Hospital. She is prearranged through you.” Me: “I see her file right here, sir.” (I talk about our funeral home’s services.) Customer: “Now, could you go ahead and run her obituary tomorrow?” Me: *confused* “I thought she hadn’t passed away yet.” Customer: “She hasn’t, but I would like to go ahead and run the obituary.” Me: “Sir, I’m afraid we can’t do that. We need to wait until she actually dies.” Customer: *unhappy* “Well, if you say so.” (The woman did not die for another 8 days.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 5:36 pm Post #19551 |
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The Good, The Bad, And The Single Minded Web Design | New York, NY, USA (A non-profit organization had asked our company to write a proposal for a web site design. I presented our proposal to a group of about 15 people, including the president of the organization.) Me: “When you want to add a new page to the web site, you can type it here. If you want, the system can send new content to someone in your organization for review before it goes live.” Client: “Can you give me an example of when we would do this?” Me: “Well if you want, you can have your legal people review the new text before it goes up on the site, so, you know… you don’t get sued because of–” President: “Sued?! Who’s suing us? I don’t want to get sued!” Me: “No, I’m just saying your legal people could review any changes to the site–” President: “This guy is telling me we could be sued! I don’t like this!” Me: “No, it’s so you WOULDN’T be sued. But that’s just an example. It’s just if someone wants to read the content before–” President: “I do not like the sound of this at all.” (We didn’t get the job.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 5:37 pm Post #19552 |
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Oh Sweet Irony, How Thou Dost Tease Me Car Wash | Peoria, IL, USA (I am a booth girl at a car wash: I tell customers about our products, mark their choice, and give them a ticket. There is a giant 4′ by 2′ sign on my booth that lists everything in detail.) Me: “Hi, can I suggest our Premier package today?” Customer: “How much does it cost?” Me: *motions towards board* “$16.95.” Customer: “What comes with it?” Me: *motions to board again, listing options* Customer: “What’s the difference between that and the number 2?” Me: *motions third time, lists options* Customer: “What about he number 2 and number 1? Does number 3 come with the clean car guarantee? Is there an oversize charge for my Denali?” (ALL of this is listed in huge letters right in front of her face. She finally makes a decision.) Customer: “I’ll take the number 3, but I don’t want any wax.” Me: “No problem, I’ll mark your window to let them know to skip the wax.” Customer: “I sure hope they read!” Me: *ultimate facepalm* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 5:37 pm Post #19553 |
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DualShock Depreciation Dollar Store | Washington, USA (This is during Christmas time 2001 and a lot of people came in for stocking stuffers and such. I’m stocking some generic potato chips and an old woman approaches me. Keep in mind, this is a DOLLAR STORE.) Old Woman: “Excuse me…” Me: “Hello, may I help you find something?” Old Woman: “Yes, do you folks have Playstation 2s?” Me: “Uh… no, ma’am. I’m sorry, we don’t.” Old Woman: “Oh, well, they were out of ‘em at [chain electronics store], so I thought you folks might have ‘em.” Me: “Well, we carry mostly overstock. Besides, PlayStation 2’s are worth far more than just one dollar so I’m pretty sure we’ll never carry them…” Old Woman: “What about after Christmas?” Me: “Yeah, I don’t think so.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 5:41 pm Post #19554 |
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The Blind Leading The Blind Bookstore | Toronto, ON, Canada (I’m helping an elderly customer look for a book when some guy interrupts, speaking gibberish. I can’t understand what he’s saying at all.) Me: “I’m sorry, could you try to describe it?” Gibberish guy: *gibberish* Me: “Sorry?” Gibberish guy: *gibberish* (The elderly customer apparently understands and begins speaking to the guy.) Elderly customer: *gibberish* Gibberish guy: *gibberish* Elderly customer, to me: “Music books?” Me: “Over there.” Elderly customer: *gibberish* Gibberish guy: *gibberish* Elderly customer, to me: “Where?” Me: “In the corner.” Elderly customer: *gibberish* Gibberish guy: *gibberish* (The gibberish guy leaves.) Me: “Uh, thanks for the translation.” Elderly customer: “Oh, I speak a little of everything.” Me: “What language were they speaking?” Elderly customer: “I don’t know.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 5:42 pm Post #19555 |
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Simple Conversations, Even Simpler Minds Restaurant | St. Augustine, FL, USA (A customer comes up to the window where you pick up your order after your number was called. All he ordered was a biscuit.) Customer: “Biscuit?” Cook: “Biscuit.” Customer: *cocks head to one side* “Biscuit?” Cook: “Biscuit.” Customer: *cocks head to other side* “BISCUIT?” Cook: *picks up biscuit, shows the customer each side slowly* “Bis-cuit.” Customer: “OH! BISCUIT!” *proceeds to take plate to table* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 5:43 pm Post #19556 |
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Please Let These Questions Be Rhetorical, Part 2 Deli | Minnesota Customer: “If I order a meat and cheese tray, do I have to get meat and cheese?” Me: “Well, we have other trays, like vegetable and fried appetizer trays.” Customer: “No, I want a meat and cheese tray. Do I have to get meat and cheese?” Me: *confused* “… You want just meat or just cheese? Is that what you want?” Customer: “NO! I want a meat and cheese tray and I want to know if I have to get meat and cheese!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 5:43 pm Post #19557 |
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The Danger With Rhetorical Questions Tech Support | Dallas, TX, USA Me: “Thank you for calling ******, how can I help you?” Customer: “I am in the back office and someone told me that we were supposed to be able to use wireless keyboards, so I cut the cable.” Me: “You… cut the cable?” Customer: “Yes, and now it doesn’t work.” Me: “You cut the cable on your keyboard, and now it doesn’t work?” Customer: “Yes” Me: “You’re going to have to buy a new keyboard.” Customer: “Why? I was told we could use wireless keyboards.” Me: “That is not a wireless keyboard.” Customer: “Yes it is.” Me: “Just because you cut the cord does not make it wireless.” Customer: “Can’t you just make it work?” Me: “Does your phone have a cable?” Customer: “Yes.” Me: “If you cut it, do you think your phone will work?” Customer: *line disconnects after 20 seconds of silence* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 5:46 pm Post #19558 |
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Please Let These Questions Be Rhetorical Home Furnishings | Costa Mesa, CA, USA Customer: “Why don’t you have any more??” Me: “…because everyone else bought them all.” Customer: “BUT WHY??!” Me: “I don’t know…maybe for the same reason you want to buy them?” Customer: “And what reason is that?!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 5:46 pm Post #19559 |
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Batteries And Brains Not Included Retail | Surrey, BC, Canada Me: “[Video game store], how can I help you?” Caller: “I’d like to return my 320.” Me: “You mean your Xbox 360?” Caller: “Yeah, whatever, it has numbers in it.” Me: “Okay, has it been opened?” Caller: “Yes.” Me: “Then I can’t return the 360 for you. I can only give you a defective exchange.” (At this point, caller gets very agitated and begins yelling and cursing on the phone.) Me: “Ma’am, can you stop yelling?” Caller: “I demand to speak to your manager! This is outrageous, you have no idea what you are doing in the retail business. Customers are ALWAYS right.” Me: “To a certain extent, yes. I can give you a defective exchange, but that’s it.” Caller: “Well, how the h*** am I supposed to know if my 360 works or not with the exchange?!” Me: “You’ll know if it blinks green lights or red lights when you plug it into the TV.” Caller: “I don’t have a f***ing TV!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Jun 3, 2009 5:49 pm Post #19560 |
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By Doing Nothing, The Problem Solves Itself Call Center | Minneapolis, MN, USA Customer: *on the phone* “I’m turning you in for mail fraud! I don’t want any more of your stuff!” Me: *checking* “OK, you were already taken off the list a few weeks ago.” Customer: “Well, I don’t want your magazine!” Me: “I’ll need to transfer you to the magazine department so they can cancel that for you.” Customer: “I don’t get the magazine!” Me: “So you’re only getting DVDs, then? Customer: “I haven’t gotten any DVDs!” Me: “So…what are you getting from us?” Customer: “Nothing!” Me: “OK…then I guess you’re all set…” Customer: “OK!” *hangs up* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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