 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,077 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Sat May 30, 2009 7:32 pm Post #18961 |
 
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from notalwaysright.com Jack Of All Trades, Master Of None Call Center | Minnesota, USA (A customer is trying to cancel a non-refundable reservation at a hotel…) Me: “I apologize sir, but we will not be able to issue a refund at this time.” Customer: “I am a doctor and will have to attend to an emergency at that time. So, you need to refund me.” Me: “Again, I apologize, sir, but as the hotel is unwilling to refund, we will be unable to refund you at this time.” Customer: “Well, I guess I will just have to see you in court. I am a lawyer and I am going to sue you.” Me: “Sir, as a lawyer, I am sure you read over the terms and conditions of your reservation. As I am sure you noted, this reservation is nonrefundable. If you’d like, I’d can review the terms and conditions with you…” Customer: “The Catholic Church is going to curse you! I am a lawyer for the Catholic Church and I will tell the bishop to curse you!” (At this point, I didn’t know what to say to this multitalented doctor and lawyer for the Catholic Church.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 30, 2009 7:32 pm Post #18962 |
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Taking “No Pain, No Gain” Too Far Gym | Columbia, MD, USA (The power generator for the gym had a moderate fire, effectively shutting off all of the power inside. Because the PA system is dead, the employees sweep the gym and escort all of the members outside.) Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but we need to evacuate. There’s been a minor emergency.” Gym member: “What? Why?” Me: “There’s been an emergency. Everyone has to leave.” Gym member: “I need to finish this set! I’ll be out in a minute! ” Me: “Yeah, I’ll just tell the fire to wait for you, then. ” (Meanwhile, firetrucks are approaching the building, and the sirens can be clearly heard.) Gym member: “This is ridiculous! I’m gonna talk to management! Where are they?!” Me: “Outside, because there’s a fire.” Gym member: “… let me get my water.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 30, 2009 7:33 pm Post #18963 |
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It Happens More Often Than You’d Think Computer Store | Vancouver, BC, Canada (I just started working at a computer store, so my trainer has a phone call on speaker so I can listen in.) Lady: “You sold me a faulty piece of s*** laptop!” Trainer: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?” Lady: “The f***ing thing won’t open!” Trainer: “Have you tried turning the laptop around, and opening it from the other side?” Lady: “Oh.” *click* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 30, 2009 7:46 pm Post #18964 |
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A Bunch-O-Words It Be, Indeed Sales Call Center | Brookings, OR, USA Me: ”Thanks for calling *** support, how can I help you?” Caller: “I just bought sump’n down to the W-mart.” Me: “And how can I help you with that?” Caller: “Yup!” *long pause* Me: “Hello?” Caller: “Hey!” Me: “What is it I can help you with today?” Caller: “Got me one a dem orga, orgaz, origaniz, oregonize…” Me: “Organizer?” Caller: “Yup!” Me: “And what can I do for you in regards to the organizer?” Caller: “Well, it don’t do nuffin!” Me: “Sounds like you may need technical assistance on the device, and unfortunately you’ve reached the sales line. I would be happy to give you the accurate number.” Caller: “It free?” Me: “I’m sorry, no, the support line is not toll free.” Caller: “That’ll cost more-n-my origun, orgizen, org…” Me: “Organizer?” Caller: “Yup!” Me: “You may want to first consult the manual for information.” Caller: “That ol’ book don’t say nuffin but a bunch-o-words!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 30, 2009 7:47 pm Post #18965 |
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Girly Man Massage School Clinic | Denver, CO, USA (This big, muscular guy comes in for a massage. We assign clients randomly and he got stuck with me, 110 lbs of girl.) Tough guy: “I requested a male therapist.” Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, would you like to go back? They’ll give you to the next guy when he’s ready.” Tough guy: “How long will that take? I’ve been waiting for two hours!” Me: “I’m sorry, I’m sure it won’t be much longer. We can go back and they’ll put you at the top of the wait list.” Tough guy: “No! Let’s just do this already.” (He explains that he likes “very deep pressure” and wants a deep-tissue massage with “lots of elbows”. He tells me to go as deep as I want because, “You’re not going to hurt me.” 30 seconds later, as I’m using my hands…) Tough guy: “Ow, that’s too hard! Don’t go so deep!” (I lighten it up a lot and start to run my forearm down his back, and he starts dramatically wincing and squirming all over the table.) Tough guy: “OWWWW, that’s too hard! You need to go lighter!” (By the end of the massage, I was just brushing him with my hands, his tolerance was so low. The next week, I got his comment card back.) Tough guy’s comment card: “You beat the s*** out of me and I’m never coming back here again!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 30, 2009 7:48 pm Post #18966 |
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Full Of Sound And Fury, Signifying Nothing Drug Store | Cottage Grove, MN, USA (It was in between Halloween and Christmas and we were changing the promotional aisle and switching stuff out. There was literally nothing in the aisle but folded down cardboard boxes, and signs were up saying “temporary out of order”.) Customer: “I want to speak to your manager!” Me: “Okay, is everything alright?” Customer: “No, I was walking down the aisle with cardboard and I fell. I am blaming you!” Me: “I didn’t make you walk down the aisle… didn’t you see the sign?” Customer: “I needed something down that aisle! I am going to have you fired for your rude attitude!” (I call the manager on the PA system.) Customer: “You’re going to be in trouble!” Manager: “What seems to be the problem?” Customer: “I fell down in the aisle with cardboard boxes. It’s all this kid’s fault.” Manager: “You shouldn’t have walked down the aisle, then. I suggest you leave before I call the police for harassing one of my employees.” Customer: *faking she’s in pain* “I don’t believe this! I am going to call the corporate office!” Manager: “Right after I call the police.” *walks away to “call the police”* Me: “You got him mad. He is a mean one when he is mad.” Customer: “Really?” Me: “Oh yeah!” Customer: ‘Um… I have to get my cell phone out of the car.” *leaves quickly* (She never returned.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 30, 2009 7:49 pm Post #18967 |
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A Method To The Madness Fast Food | St. Catharines, ON, Canada Me: “Hi there, welcome to [fast food restaurant], how can I help you?” Customer: “Yeah, I’d like a chicken nugget kids meal.” Me: “Alrighty then, what would you like to drink?” Customer: “Sweet and sour.” Me: “Okay ma’am, but what would you like to drink?” Customer: “I just told you, I want sweet and sour with my nuggets!” Me, catching on to their game: “Okay… what would you like to dip?” Customer: “Coke!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 30, 2009 7:50 pm Post #18968 |
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Natural Born Politician Theme Park | Lincoln, NH, USA (Overheard from a school group at a theme park.) Student: “God, these stupid lines are so long!” Teacher: “If you don’t have anything positive to say, don’t say anything at all.” Student: “I mean… these great lines are just long enough that we miss everything!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 30, 2009 7:50 pm Post #18969 |
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Customer Variant #3: The Penny Picker Key Shop | Chicago, IL, USA (Everyone has had this customer. They must clone them somewhere.) Me: “That will be $2.88.” (The customer puts a dollar on the counter and out of her purse pulls a snap-top coin pouch and I know I am screwed. She starts rooting in it, pulling out one coin at a time.) Customer: “5, 10, 20, 25, 26, 27…” (I void out her sale and wait on the next customer. I ring him up and give him his change.) Customer: “Why did you wait on him? I was first.” Me: “Well, he had the mystical ability to hand me 3 dollar bills for his key and you are still trying to come up with $2.88, a coin at a time.” Customer: “Now you made me lose count! 5, 10, 20, 25, 26, 27…” (I wait on several more customers.) Customer: “Young man…” (I am 59, btw.) “… can you tell me if this is a penny or a dime?” Me: “It is a dime.” Customer: “Oh, I want to get rid of my pennies…” *puts dime back in pouch, starts rooting in it again* “… 76, 77, 78…” (I continue to wait on more customers until after what seems to be an eon…) Customer: “Oh, I only have $2.86. I will have to give you another dollar.” *starts emptying purse on counter* Me: “No, no, that will be just fine… $2.86, no problem.” Customer: “But I am 2 cents short!” Me: “Trust me, not a problem.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 30, 2009 7:51 pm Post #18970 |
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But Is It Fully Armed And Operational? Comic Store | Birmingham, UK Customer: “Hi there, I was wondering if you could help me?” Me: “Of course. What are you after?” Customer: “Well, my son is a huge Star Wars fan and he really wants one of those Lightsabers.” Me: “Not a problem, we have plenty of them. Was there any particular one you were after.” Customer: “Do you have one of the ones that come out of the handle?” Me: “We have several pop-out ones, they also make a sound.” Customer: “Oh, okay.” (They walk off and pick some of the different designs up and walk back to me.) Customer: “Hi again.” Me: “Did you find one?” Customer: “Not the one that he wants.” Me: “Well we also have some better ones in the window, would you like to see?” Customer: “Yes, please” (I get a prop Lightsaber out of the window and show it to them.) Customer: “Hmm, it doesn’t seem to be the right one.” Me: “Unfortunately, that’s all we really do.” Customer: “So you don’t do the one that cuts things?” Me: “Erm, the ones that cut things?” Customer: “You know, the ones from the movies.” Me, giving up: “Erm… you could try the Entertainer, they should do them.” Customer: “Brilliant, thanks very much.” (If this wasn’t bad enough, it’s happened about 3 times in the past year.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 30, 2009 7:52 pm Post #18971 |
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Ah, Love/Hate Relationships Sandwich Shop | Rolla, MO, USA (A customer calls our restaurant over a supposed sandwich issue…) Customer: “Yeah, I think someone spit or drooled in my sandwich.” Me: “Oh? I’m sorry to hear that sir. Did you see the employee spit in your sandwich?” Customer: “It was the guy with the green hair. Well, I think. My fiancee saw him do it.” Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir. Bring the sandwich in and we’ll replace it or issue you a refund.” Customer: “I can’t. My fiancee told me what she saw after we ate our sandwiches.” Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Store policy requires for you to return a portion of the item purchased.” Customer: “But he spit in it!” Me: “Are you sure that the sandwich is what you should be concerned about? I mean, she did let you eat the whole thing.” Customer: *click* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 11:08 pm Post #18972 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 11:09 pm Post #18973 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 11:10 pm Post #18974 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 11:10 pm Post #18975 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 11:11 pm Post #18976 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 11:11 pm Post #18977 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 11:24 pm Post #18978 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 11:24 pm Post #18979 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 11:25 pm Post #18980 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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