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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,090 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 9:37 pm Post #18701 |
 
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Exorcisms Not Included Toy Store | Rochester, NY, USA (I was a cashier at a popular toy store chain when a woman came up to the register with an opened Ouija board.) Customer: “I’d like to return this, please.” Me: “Is there anything in particular that’s wrong with it?” Customer: “Well, no, it works. I’m returning it because it let evil spirits into my house!” Me: *laughs* Customer: “Why are you laughing? This game let spirits into my house, and I demand a refund!” Me: “Uh, oh, alright then.” *I process the return* Customer, on the way out: “You really shouldn’t be selling satanic toys like this. What if a demon had come through and possessed one of my children?” Me: “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll definitely pass that on to management.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 9:37 pm Post #18702 |
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When Not In Rome… Electronics Store | Sacramento, CA, USA (A customer came in looking for a specific FM transmitter. I pointed him in the right direction and he came back five minutes later with the device in hand.) Me: “Found it alright?” Customer: “Yup. I came, I saw, I conquered.” Me: “Veni, vidi, vici?” Customer: “What the h*** did you just call me?!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 9:37 pm Post #18703 |
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The Infomercials Must Love You Deli | Bay Area, CA, USA (A customer comes up to the register with her sandwich purchase, which had sun-dried tomatoes on it.) Customer: “Do you make the sun-dried tomatoes here?” Me, jokingly: “Yes, we have several lawn chairs in back. We cut the tomatoes into little strips and leave them out there for a week or two. ” Customer: “Really?!” Me: “No, I was just kidding. We get them from a distributor. ” Customer: “Well, that’s not nice of you at all! When I was growing up I was always taught to believe things I was told by salespeople!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 9:38 pm Post #18704 |
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And The Angels Sang Retail | Sandy, OR, USA Me, on overhead: “Good evening shoppers, the time is now 11 PM and your shopping center is now closed for the evening. Please bring all final purchases to the lit registers and thank you for shopping with us. Good night.” (5 minutes later…) Customer: “Can I still check out?” Cashier next to me: “Yes, come on in.” Customer: “I need to check some prices on a few items, can you do that for me?” Cashier: “I think everyone in that department has gone home, but I can check for you.” (10 minutes later…) Cashier: “That will be $174.34, please.” Customer: “Oh, I don’t have enough money. Can I write you an IOU? I shop here all the time.” Cashier: “I’m sorry, we can’t take IOU’s.” Customer: “Then can you hold this until the morning, and I can come back?” Cashier: “I’m sorry, we can’t hold things overnight. Our policy states we can’t do that.” Customer: “So what… you’re trying to kick me out of the store?!” Cashier: “No, ma’am. If you’d like to take a few things off to afford your purchase, I’d be more than happy to check you out.” Customer: “FINE! I’m done!” *storms out of the store* Me, on overhead: “Hallelujah! Hallelujah!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 9:39 pm Post #18705 |
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I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream… Ice Cream Shop | Pinehurst, NC, USA Customer: “Oh, look at all this yummy gelato!” Me: “Yes ma’am, the front row is gelato and the back row is ice cream.” Customer: “Okay, I want butter pecan.” (Butter pecan is in the back row, so it’s an ice cream. I scoop it for her.) Customer: “Well, this is just delicious. Do you have any regular ice cream and not gelato?” Me: “Yes ma’am. Like I said before, the back row is ice cream.” Customer: *stops eating suddenly* “What? But I wanted gelato!” Me: “Ma’am, I told you which ones were the gelatos. I can get you something else.” Customer: “But, but, but I wanted gelato!” Customer’s husband: “Quit your b****in’, I’ll eat it at home.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 9:39 pm Post #18706 |
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Catastrophe Averted Fast Food | Trenton, ON, Canada (I work at a fast food restaurant and was taking money. My co-worker was taking drive-thru orders right beside me.) Coworker: “Hi there, welcome to ***. What can I get for you today?” Customer: “Give me one ranch wrap. That’s all.” Coworker: “Would you like your wrap crispy or grill?” Customer: “No, I want it ranch.” Coworker: “Yes, but would you like the chicken crispy or grilled?” Customer: “RANCH!” Coworker: “CRISPY OR GRILLED?” Customer: “LISTEN TO ME, YOU LITTLE SH–oh, um, crispy…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 9:40 pm Post #18707 |
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No Means No Means No Aquarium Store | Vancouver, BC, Canada Customer: “I just got a new fish tank, and I was wondering what kind of fish I could put in it.” Me: “Sure, no problem.” (I proceed to show her some good starter fish. I point out some tetras, when she says…) Customer: “I thought that you needed a bubbler for those kinds of fish.” Me: “Oh! You don’t have a filter or anything?” Customer: “No. Just a tank.” Me: “Okay, well the only type of fish that can live in a bowl like environment are bettas.” Customer: “But I don’t want these kinds of fish!” Me: “Well, if you want to get anything else, you will have to purchase a filter and everything for your tank.” Customer: *points to some guppies* “So I can’t get these?” Me: “No.” Customer: *points to some mollies* “What about these?” Me: “No. With the tank set up you have, you can only get bettas.” Customer: “What about the platties?” Me: “No.” Customer: “So I can’t get anything else?” Me: “No.” Customer: “So I can’t get the barbs?” Me: *facepalm* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 9:41 pm Post #18708 |
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The Coddling Stops Here Furniture Store | Phoenix, AZ, USA (I’m at customer’s house to try and repair a desk…) Me: “Well, it can’t be repaired, so I’ll have to order a new desktop. It could be a couple of weeks.” Customer: “So you’re taking this one with you right?” Me: “No, I can’t fit it in my vehicle.” Customer: ”So you’ll be back for it then?” Me: “No, we don’t do delivery; henceforth, we don’t do pickups, either.” Customer: “But I bought it from your store!” Me: “… and you took it home from my store.” Customer: “Yeah, and it barely fit in my SUV!” Me: “But it did fit, and you took it home with you.” Customer: “Well, you’re going to need to pick it up. I’m not bringing it all the way back.” Me: “Stay with me here: you bought it, picked it up, took it to your home and discovered it had a problem. Now you want to disavow all responsibility? That isn’t how it works. If you got a blender home and it didn’t work, would you call the store and tell them to come pick it up?” Customer: “…” Me: “You’re remodeling your home, not paying me to do it. Don’t forget what that Y stands for in DIY.” Customer: *sheepishly* “… can you help me put it in my car?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 9:42 pm Post #18709 |
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Garraporta, Bumblebore And Lord Boweldesnort Video Rental | San Diego, CA, USA (I’m walking around stocking videos when a man comes up to with an extremely strange accent.) Customer: “I’m looking for the Garraporta.” Me: “I’m not sure what movie that is. What’s it about?” Customer: “It’s the Garraporta. There are many movies!” Me: “Uh, did you ask at front desk?” Customer: “Garraporta, Garraporta! There are many movies!” Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’ve never heard of that movie.” (I try every way to tell him I don’t know that movie, but he follows me all around the store saying “Garraporta!” Suddenly, he stops and picks up a movie.) Customer: “Here, Garraporta!” Me: “Oh, Harry Potter! Customer: “Yes, Garraporta! There are many movies!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 9:42 pm Post #18710 |
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Hogwarts: The Continuing Education Years Bookstore | Richmond, VA, USA (It’s the Harry Potter Midnight party. Customers are dressed as characters from the book. Most are children, but there are also some overly enthusiastic/creepy adults wandering around.) Lone Witch Lady: “This is so exciting! What are you doing with the boxes that the books came in? Can I have one?” Me: “I don’t see why not, but I’ll have to ask my manager.” *asks manager* “I’m sorry, we have to keep them for inventory.” Lone Witch Lady: “Are you sure? My cats would love one. ” Me: “Your…cats? Would they seriously love a Harry Potter cardboard box more than a plain cardboard box?” Lone Witch Lady: “Oh, yes!” Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we can’t give them away. Um, have you tried the Bertie Bots Bean Counting Contest?” Lone Witch Lady: “Ooh!” *scampers off* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 12:56 am Post #18711 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 12:57 am Post #18712 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 12:57 am Post #18713 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 12:57 am Post #18714 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 12:57 am Post #18715 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 12:58 am Post #18716 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 12:58 am Post #18717 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 12:58 am Post #18718 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 12:58 am Post #18719 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat May 30, 2009 12:59 am Post #18720 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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