 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,102 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:43 pm Post #18461 |
 
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12PM Let's Just Say, It's No Wonder Ms. Klum Keeps Popping Out Babies Female paralegal: Did you read that article I sent you? Aussie male coworker: That ain't right. Female paralegal: Indeed. But 45 minutes! That's longer than most men last. Aussie male coworker, in long-winded explanation: Well, 45 minutes would be a while for coitus. But remember that the seal wasn't actually getting any. 45 minutes is kinda short if you include foreplay... Female paralegal: Tsk, tsk...give the seal some credit. Aussie male coworker: Fine. He has moderate sexual stamina. Senior paralegal: What?! Chicago, Illinois |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:43 pm Post #18462 |
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11AM Just Teach Them About Nair and They'll Be Beautiful Ladies Once Again Supervisor, discussing camps kids who are too old: They have mustaches! Coordinator: It's not their fault they're hairy! Ontario Canadia Overheard by: a co-ordinator who knows better |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:44 pm Post #18463 |
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10AM After Fifty, People Start Encouraging You to Die Clerk lady #1: Oh, thank you for bringing that up, you reminded me I have to go get my license renewed on my way home today. Clerk lady #2: You can't just mail it in? Clerk lady #1: Well I have to actually go in because I have to take an eye test because it's been ten years. Clerk lady #3: Oh...you sure it's not because you're over 50? Clerk lady #1: F#ck you. Yaphank, New York Overheard by: Junior |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:45 pm Post #18464 |
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9AM It Reads His Email Worried coworker: Don't ask me how, but I royally pissed off Steve. Other coworker: Any idea how? Did you insult his awesome hair? Worried coworker: I told him he should read his e-mails. Other coworker: He'll get over it, you should complement his awesome hair. Alexandria, Virginia |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:45 pm Post #18465 |
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5PM Only in Church Leagues Dodgeball learner: So, are you allowed to grab the other team's balls? Hanover, Pennsylvania |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:45 pm Post #18466 |
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4PM Living in Michigan's Already a Form Of Child Abuse Crazy coworker: If my kid pooped in the closet, I'd rub his nose in it. "No! Bad!" Sane female coworker: Your kids are going to be taken away by the state. Sane male coworker: There's not even a question. Grand Rapids, Michigan Overheard by: Playtah |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:46 pm Post #18467 |
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3PM This Conversation Spawned the Video "What What (In Connecticut)" Engineer, referring to disk gun: I think I'd rather take it in the ass. (office mates burst into giggles) Engineer: No! I mean get shot in the ass. (more giggles) Engineer, exasperated: That came out wrong... Berlin Turnpike, Connecticut |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:46 pm Post #18468 |
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2PM Like That Time in Amsterdam Faculty director, holding out banana: Would you like a banana? Female program coordinator: Uh, no thanks, I'm all set. Faculty director, holding out flowers: Well, maybe you'd like these instead! Female program coordinator: Oh! That's so nice of you! Aw, you're off my bad list. Faculty director: Wow, and I thought I would get off with just the banana! Boston, Massachusetts Overheard by: Allison |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:46 pm Post #18469 |
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1PM No Grand Opening Will Succeed Without Considerable Foreplay Project manager on phone: You're right. That is what he wants. He wants a soft opening. Austin, Texas |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:47 pm Post #18470 |
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12PM Though I Admit the Body Hair Is an Issue Office admin: I'm no one's monkey! My dances are spontaneous! Baltimore, Maryland Overheard by: snapszen |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:47 pm Post #18471 |
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11AM Your Editors Have Learned That This Totally Works Older janitor to young engineer, about picking up girls: You have to trap'em like Daniel Boone style, set out some salad with ranch dressin' or somethin' like that". Lexington, Kentucky Overheard by: Rick |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:47 pm Post #18472 |
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10AM But Enough About My Relationship with My Interns... Cube dweller: I can't discipline my children, they don't listen to me. Boss: Nothing better than spanking a wet, naked ass. Peabody, Massachusetts |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:48 pm Post #18473 |
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9AM :-O Crotchety supervisor, holding up printed copy of e-mail: You two are computer nerds. What does this mean? (points at an emoticon) Analyst #1: It's a smiley face. Crotchety supervisor, turning the paper sideways: Oh, I see the colon is the eyes and...what the hell is wrong with you people? (crumples up e-mail and walks away) Analyst #2: Have a nice day! Oakland, New Jersey Overheard by: >:( |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:48 pm Post #18474 |
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5PM We Mean No Disrespect to Our Muslim Readers, If We Have Any Gay coworker #1: The new guy is cute! Gay coworker #2: I know, huh? Cuter than John or Ryan. Gay coworker #1: Well, I think John is still number one on my list. Gay coworker #2: This is why I love coming to work everyday. Gay coworker #1: Yeaahh...me too! It's like gay Mecca here! San Francisco, California |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:49 pm Post #18475 |
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4PM If You Think You Must Adoptions manager to executive director: Can I talk to you while you're googling? Gulfport, Mississippi Overheard by: Foster Care Goddess |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:53 pm Post #18476 |
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3PM Kinda Like How I'm Dyslexic After Four Vodka Tonics Girl #1: I feel bad for that kid, Matt*. Girl #2: Which one? That loud kid? Girl #1: Well yeah, the loud kid, but he has Asperger's syndrome, so he kind of doesn't get it, you know? Guy: I once had a roommate that thought he had Asperger's, and I was always like, "man, shut up. You just did too much coke again." Baltimore, Maryland Overheard by: LabCat |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:54 pm Post #18477 |
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2PM Just Be Sure You Come to Court With Clean Hands Attorney, exiting elevator: It's either that or hookers! Norwalk, Connecticut |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:54 pm Post #18478 |
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1PM I Find Him Highly Motivational-- and Shiny Cubicle-dweller to another: If we could get Mr. T here at the office, that changes everything. Los Angeles, California |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:58 pm Post #18479 |
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12PM That Lyle Is a Genius! HR rep: Oh, yeah...I was going to do that. But then I got distracted by the festive donkeys. Brooklyn Center, Minnesota |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 29, 2009 3:59 pm Post #18480 |
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11AM His Private Life Is Irrelevant, Counselor. Attorney on conference call: Your honor, opposing counsel is beating a dead whore! New Orleans, Louisiana Overheard by: Glad she's not a dead whore |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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