 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,144 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 8:57 pm Post #17621 |
 
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So Dumb It Hurts Veterinarian | Orlando, FL, USA (I work at a vet’s office, and am giving a woman and her three children basic grooming information for their new puppy. The conversation has already been going on for an hour.) Me: “… the groomers can do different ‘cuts’ or ’styles’ for your dog, depending on how you want him to look.” Customer: “Will that hurt?” Me: “Will what hurt?” Customer: “Cutting him, will it hurt when you cut him?” Me: “No… it’s not cutting HIM, it’s just cutting his fur.” Customer: “Oh… but will that hurt?” Me: “No… it’s hair.” Customer: “Are you sure it won’t hurt when you cut it?” Me: “It’s just like when you get your own hair cut. Does it hurt when you get your hair cut?” Customer: *looks confused* Me: “Okay… well no, it won’t hurt.” (I then go on to other aspects of grooming… clipping toe nails, cleaning the ears, etc.) Me: “… you can clean the puppy’s ears if they get dirty, or just whenever you give him a bath.” Me: *goes over the ear cleaning process* Customer: “Will it hurt? ” Me: “No… he may not like it, and may shake his head, but it shouldn’t hurt. Just make sure you don’t stick anything, like a Q-Tip, into his ear.” Customer: “Okay, so how do I do that?” Me: *goes over the ear cleaning process again* Me: “… and again, just whenever you give him a bath…” Customer: “Okay, how do I do that? ” Me: “Well, there are several different shampoos you can use…” Customer: “But how do I do that?” Me: “You mean… how do you actually give him a bath?” Customer: “Yes, how do I do that?” Me: “Just like you’d bathe your kids… the puppy’s small, so you can bathe him in the sink, or in the bath tub…” Customer: “But how do I bathe him?” (At this point, I look at the woman’s three children, and wonder how they’ve survived their mother.) Me: “Umm… you put water on him… err… you know, we have full-service grooming here, it includes a bath, we’ll do everything for you… cut his toe nails, clean his ears, trim his hair…” Customer: “But we don’t want to hurt him. Will a bath hurt?” Me: “It’s WATER!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 8:58 pm Post #17622 |
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That Was Random Coffee Shop | Alpharetta, GA, USA Me: “Good afternoon! What can I get for you today?” Customer: “I’ll have a [frozen coffee drink], please.” Me: “Alrighty, that’s gonna run you $3.42.” Customer: “Alright.” *begins to dig around in her purse* Me: “I’m going to go ahead and get this started for you.” (As I start to make the drink, I turn to look at the woman and notice that she is slowly making her way behind the counter.) Me: “Uh, ma’am…” (The woman proceeds to walk behind the counter, walk to a sink, wash her hands, wipe her hands, throw the paper towel away, and then walk right back around the counter and straight out the door. As my coworkers and I attempt to figure out what just happened, we watch her walk by the drive-thru window, around the building, around the building NEXT to our store, and then back into the store. The woman then approaches the counter.) Customer: “So, what do I owe you?” Me: “Uh, $3.42, please.” Customer: “Sure.” (An incredibly awkward silence follows.) Customer: “So, what just happened?” Me: “What?” Customer: “What just happened?” Me: “I’m really not sure, ma’am!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 8:59 pm Post #17623 |
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Arithmophobia Restaurant | Ohio, USA (I work at a restaurant where customers can call and place an order to pick up). Me: “Thank you for calling ***. How may I help you?” Customer: “Hi, how many wings can you get in an order?” Me: “We have orders of 6, 12, 18, 24, 50, and 100. Would you like to order some?” Customer: “Yes, I want 20.” Me: “Sir, we don’t have 20. The closest we have to 20 is 18.” Customer: “How many wings come in your 18-piece?” Me: “… 18.” Customer: “Okay, are you sure?” Me: “I can say for a fact that the 18-piece wing order comes with 18 wings.” (This went on for a few minutes. Back and forths of, “Are you sure?” and, “Yes, sir, I am sure you get 18 wings in an 18 wing order.”) Me: “Now what can I get you today?” Customer: “I think I’m going to eat elsewhere.” *click* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 9:00 pm Post #17624 |
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Effective Marketing Fast Food | Orem, UT, USA (An elderly woman is complaining to my manager about a recent ad in which a woman appears in lingerie. The ad is promoting a special on two fish sandwiches for $4.) Woman: “I was so offended. I can’t believe they would show that on TV. Children might have been watching!” Manager: “I’m very sorry you were offended, ma’am.” Woman: “It was so offensive! Is there anyone I can talk to?” Manager: “I can give you the number for the regional office or you can send an email from the website.” Woman: “It was just so offensive!” Manager: “Again, I’m very sorry ma’am. By the way, here are your two fish sandwiches.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 9:00 pm Post #17625 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 9:00 pm Post #17626 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 9:01 pm Post #17627 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 9:01 pm Post #17628 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 9:01 pm Post #17629 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 9:01 pm Post #17630 |
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Horizontal Distance, Loopy Thinking Hotel | Raleigh, NC, USA Me: “Good evening, thanks for calling [hotel]. How can I help you?” Customer: “I’d like to make a reservation. I’m with the *** wedding party.” (I take down his information for dates he’ll be staying and size of beds. Then, we get to the type of room…) Me: “… And would you like a standard room, or would you prefer poolside, or could I interest you in a suite or other luxury room?” Customer: “I want a standard room. It needs to be near an elevator, because my wife has back problems.” Me: “We also have rooms on the ground floor with parking directly outside, which would be much less walking.” Customer: “No. I want it near an elevator.” Me: “Sir–” Customer: “It’s about the horizontal distance.” Me: “Sir, there is no parking near the elevators, and it would be farther for her to walk to the elevator.” Customer: “She can take elevators, it’s about the horizontal distance.” Me: “Yes, sir. I understand, but we have rooms on the ground floor with parking directly outside. It would be much closer than if you had to park and then take the elevator.” Customer: “I want to be near the elevator!” (I put him in one of the standard ground floor rooms anyway with adjacent parking, for the sake of his wife.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 9:01 pm Post #17631 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 9:01 pm Post #17632 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 9:02 pm Post #17633 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 9:02 pm Post #17634 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 9:02 pm Post #17635 |
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Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman With Fake Stones Jeweler | Denver, CO, USA (A woman comes up to the counter with a tennis bracelet.) Customer: “I’d like to have this professionally cleaned, please.” Me: “We’d be happy to do that for you. Can you give me the value so that we can put that on the form for insurance?” Customer: “Of course. It’s worth $15,000.” Me: “Ma’am, for such a high value, I’ll need to verify that these are actually diamonds.” Customer: “Of course they’re real diamonds! My husband gave that to me for our anniversary, and said it was diamonds!” (I go and get our diamond tester from the back. If the stones are diamonds, the machine will beep. I test the bracelet in front of her. It doesn’t beep.) Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but these are more than likely cubic zirconia, and the highest value I could insure this bracelet for is $2,000.” Customer: “I don’t believe you! Your machine must be broken!” (I reach into the display case, and pull out a diamond ring. I silently test multiple stones, and the machine beeps as it should.) Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s functioning properly. We’ll be happy to send your bracelet out for cleaning, but will only be able to insure it for $2,000.” (The woman’s face at this point is so contorted with rage she looks like she’s going to pop. She snatches the bracelet up and runs out of the store.) Manager: “I’d like to be a fly on the wall, when he gets home!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 9:02 pm Post #17636 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 9:02 pm Post #17637 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 9:02 pm Post #17638 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 9:03 pm Post #17639 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 9:03 pm Post #17640 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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