 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,145 Views) | |
| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:52 pm Post #17601 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:52 pm Post #17602 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:53 pm Post #17603 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:53 pm Post #17604 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:53 pm Post #17605 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:54 pm Post #17606 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:54 pm Post #17607 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:54 pm Post #17608 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:55 pm Post #17609 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:55 pm Post #17610 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 8:44 pm Post #17611 |
 
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Confessions Of A Teenage Bagger Supermarket | Frankfort, KY, USA (I’m a 17 year old bag boy at a local grocer. I’m finishing up an order when the customer, a middle-aged woman, walks uncomfortably close to me and stares at my curly hair.) Me: “How are you doing this evening, ma’am?” Customer: “I love your hair.” Me: “Uh… thanks. I kind of hate it, to be honest.” Customer: “I just want to go barefooted and romp around in it like I was in a meadow.” Me: “… have a good day, ma’am.” Customer: “Bye!” (She winks. I shudder.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 8:44 pm Post #17612 |
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He Shoots, He Misses Pharmacy | New Paltz, New York, USA (I used to work at a drug store. From time to time, the pharmacy portion of the store wouldn’t open because there wasn’t a pharmacist to do so. A customer reads the closed sign…) Customer: “What’s the meaning of this?!” Me: “I’m sorry, sir. The pharmacy is closed today because we don’t have a pharmacist.” Customer: “People are SICK! They need their MEDICATION!” Me: “I wish there was something I could do, sir, but–” Customer: “You know what this is? Do you?! Two words! TWO WORDS! UN-ACCEPTABLE!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 8:44 pm Post #17613 |
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Always Right, Unless There’s Not Enough Light Bank | Harare, Zimbabwe (Note: this story takes place at a bank in Zimbabwe.) Teller: “Good morning sir, how may I help you?” Me: “Good morning, please may I withdraw 100 billion?” (This is about 1 US dollar.) Teller: “I’m very sorry sir, but we do not have enough sun.” Me: “What!?” Teller: “We cannot give you money because we do not have enough sun.” Me: “Why do you need sun to give me money?” Teller: “Oh, we are having a power cut, and the solar panel isn’t receiving enough sun to run the computers.” Me: *laughs* “Thank you very much for the best excuse, ever.” Teller: “You’re welcome sir, have a good day.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 8:46 pm Post #17614 |
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Fighting Fire With Fire Restaurant | Belgium (A father is letting five kids make a complete mess of the restaurant. They’re ripping napkins and using it as confetti, breaking chopsticks and screaming their little heads off.) Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to tell them to stop doing that. They are disturbing the other customers.” Father: *beaming* “No.” Me: “No, as in, no you won’t tell them to stop it?” Father: *still beaming*“Yes.” (I have to get back to work at this point and sure enough, the kids keep misbehaving. Several customers complain to me but I have no authority to throw them out. The last to complain is a table with about eight young guys.) Customer 1: “So there’s nothing you can do about them?” Me: “I’m so very sorry sir, but no. I can get you a drink from the house to make up for it.” Customer 2: “No, that won’t do.” Me: “Well, I can see if I can get you a free desert…” Customer 2: “Not what I meant. Can’t you get your boss?” Me: “I’m afraid he’s not in, sir.” Customer 1: “Well we won’t accept any free stuff. I bet that would come out of your pay.” Customer 3: Hold on…” (The customer gets up and the others immediately follow him to the noisy, messy table. They’re now surrounded by eight tall young men who look mighty pissed.) Customer 3, to the father: “Tell them to stop it.” Father: *still beaming* “No.” Customer 1: “You’re upsetting the waitress.” Father: “Do you guys even work here?” Customer 1: “No, we’re from that prison up the street. We’re out on parole. Funny coincidence, we all served seven years for kidnapping and murdering a bunch of noisy brats and a jerk who made minimum-wage waitresses cry.” (At this point the kids become very, very quiet and the other patrons start giggling and staring.) Father: “You’re lying.” Customer 4: “Wanna take that chance, buddy?” (One more lecherous grin was enough to send the whole bunch of misfits scurrying to the exit. My knights in shining armor actually got applause from the other diners and a free meal from me.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 8:46 pm Post #17615 |
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Well Whadya Know, It’s Working Now Retail | Peoria, IL, USA Me: “Thanks for calling ***, how can I help you?” Customer: “My phone service isn’t working.” Me: “Okay, I’ll see what I can do. What wireless company do you have?” Customer: “I don’t have wireless.” Me: “… I’m not sure I’m following you, ma’am.” Customer: “What’s not to follow? I said my PHONES AREN’T WORKING!” Me: “Okay, but in order to assist you, I need to know what service you have.” Customer: “AT&T.” Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t contract AT&T wireless in the store.” Customer: “Look, lady, it’s not WIRELESS. My HOME PHONES aren’t working, and I can’t get a hold of my son and I’m worried. The service has been on the fritz all day. I need you to FIX IT!” Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I can’t fix your home phone service. You’ll have to call your provider.” Customer: “What are you, stupid? I bought the phone from you!” (She probably had bought the telephone through us, because we sell some made by/for AT&T. But we don’t do the service at all.) Me: “Ma’am, we don’t do the service. We are just the phone retailer. Is there something wrong with the phone itself?” Customer: “NO. It works fine, but I can’t actually CALL anywhere. Now, I need this FIXED. I’ve been without a phone all day, every phone in the house is messed up, and I can’t call my SON. I don’t have a phone at ALL! Do you understand?” Me: “Yes ma’am, I do, but like I said, we have nothing to do with your service. We just sell the PHONES. You have to call AT&T to see what’s wrong with your service.” Customer: “And just how am I supposed to do that, smarty-pants? I DON’T have a PHONE that WORKS!” Me: “With all due respect, ma’am, how did you call US?” Customer: “B*tch.” *click* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 8:47 pm Post #17616 |
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The Art Of Persuasion Water Park | New Hampshire, USA (This is on one of the busiest days we’ve ever had. We literally had to stop letting people into the park) Guest: “Why can’t I go into the park?! I drove here from Cape Cod!” Me: “I’m sorry, but the general manager said we’re not allowed to let anyone else in. We’re at capacity.” Guest: “Why can’t I go in now? There are a ton of people leaving!” Me: “There are a few things, sir. The general manager said we can’t allow anyone else in, we have weather coming which might halt operations, and even if we let you in, you honestly wouldn’t have fun. There are a ton of people in there.” Guest: “I DROVE HERE FROM CAPE COD! YOU HAVE TO LET ME AND MY FAMILY IN!” Me: “Sir, your options are you can stay here and complain to me about not being let in, or I can let you in, and you can pay $35 to complain to me that there are too many people inside the park. How’s that?” Guest: “On second thought, I’ll just go to the beach.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 8:48 pm Post #17617 |
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Haphazardly Placed Vowels Does Not A Language Make Restaurant | Branson, MO, USA (I’m a customer and see an employee is waiting on another customer. The employee speaks perfect English and actually looks Hawaiian.) Customer: “EL POLO ICE-CREAMO!” Employee: Umm… yeah?” Customer: “I want some choco-lato ice-creamo. GRASSIOS!” Employee: “I speak English fine. What size do you want?” Customer: “Oh, you are doing so good. Good job, boy. Umm… I want a GRAND-AY!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 8:48 pm Post #17618 |
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Let’s All Just Randomly Grab Crap Retail | Atlanta, GA, USA (I’m ringing up a customer’s items.) Customer: “That’s wrong. That’s on sale.” Me: “Well, the system is usually correct, and I don’t believe it is, but I can have someone check.” (After the area is checked, we find that I am correct.) Me: “The sign back there says the clearance EXCLUDES your item.” Customer: “No, it doesn’t.” Me: “Ma’am I just had an associate check for you to ensure that the item is not on sale.” Customer: “Yes it is! You are just a dumb cashier! Where is your supervisor?” Me: “Ma’am, I am the supervisor. I’m sorry, but the sign clearly says in large red letters that your item is excluded from the sale.” Customer: “Well, I shouldnt have to pay attention! I saw clearance so I just grabbed something. I should get it cheaper because of it!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 8:49 pm Post #17619 |
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Hey G.W., Crazy Lady On Line 1 Law Firm | Washington, DC, USA (I used to work in a building on 17th and Pennsylvania Ave, which is a block away from the White House.) Me: “Good morning, *** & ***.” Lady: “Uh, hi… is this office in DC?” Me: “Yes, ma’am, this is the DC office. How may I direct your call?” Lady: “Is your building by the White House?” Me: “Yes, it is…?” Lady: “Can you run over there and tell them to pick up the phone? I’ve been calling all day but I can’t get ahold of the President!” Me: *click* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 8:56 pm Post #17620 |
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From Runaway Bride To Ex-Wife Video Rental Store | Texas, USA (A few years ago I was working at a video store when there were still late fees, and this exchange occurred after I scanned a couple’s rentals:) Me: “Okay, sir, with the late fee from your last rental, your total is $9.50.” Husband: “What do you mean a late fee? I ALWAYS return my movies on time, so you need to remove that late fee right now!” Me: “Well sir, you returned–” Husband: “I said I ALWAYS return my movies on time and you need to remove that late fee right now! I’m not paying this!” Me: “Then you won’t be renting these movies tonight. All late fees must be paid before renting again.” Husband: “I’m NOT paying this, so you better take it off now!” Wife: “What movie is this late fee for anyway? We ALWAYS return our movies on time!” Me: “This is for Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts. You rented it on the 6th and it was due on the 11th, but you didn’t return it until the 15th. ” Husband: “Oh yeah, that’s right, we never got around to watching it. I’ll pay for it.” Wife: “We never rented Runaway Bride and I was out of town on the 6th.” Me: “Well, ma’am, it’s showing that Jennifer rented the title.” Wife: “Who is Jennifer?” *pauses and her face becomes red* “Oh, that b***h!” (The wife proceeds to slap her husband, takes the keys and drives away, leaving her husband in the store.) Husband: “Well, I guess I deserved that, huh?” Me: “Sir, you put your mistress on your account?” Husband: “Yeah, she likes movies…” Me: “You are aware that she could have opened her own account for free, right?” Husband: “Oh s***, really?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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