 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,147 Views) | |
| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:15 pm Post #17561 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 4:15 pm Post #17562 |
 
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Dr. Jekyll And Mrs. Hyde Call Center | Camp Hill, PA, USA Me: “Thank you for calling, this is ***. How may I help you today?” Customer: *cheerful* “I need you to check my account.” Me: “Certainly, I’d be happy to do that for you. May I have your identification number so I can look you up in our system please?” Customer: “My what? Why would you want that? Don’t you know who I am?” Me: “Unfortunately not, ma’am. We have no real way of knowing who is on the other end of the line unless you give us either that number or your social security number.” Customer: *suddenly demonic* “HOW DARE YOU! YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE TERRORISTS, AREN’T YOU?!” Me: “Um… excuse me?” Customer: “YOU want my social so you can steal my identity, don’t you? That’s why you called me, to steal my credit score, you little punk!” Me: “Ma’am, you called me. This is your insurance company. Just read me the number on the front of your card so I can look up your account information.” Customer: *suddenly cheerful again* “Oh, is that all? Why didn’t you just say so? My number is ***.” Me: “Ma’am, it seems your account is handled by a different department than mine. Would you like me to give you their direct number before I transfer you?” Customer: *back to demonic* “YOU TRICKED ME! You tricked me out of my information! I’m calling the FBI on you, you little c**t!” Me: *transfers call* (I have never been so happy to transfer a caller. I logged the call, and later that day received an internal office email from some rep in another part of the state. All it said was “WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????”) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:16 pm Post #17563 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 4:16 pm Post #17564 |
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Dr. Jekyll And Hearing-Impaired Hyde Hardware Store | Winona, MN, USA (At the hardware store where I work, I see an old lady pushing a cart with a heavy bag of dirt inside it.) Me: “Here, I can help you with that, ma’am. ” Old Lady: ”This cart is awful! It won’t steer anywhere I want it to!” Me: “I’m sorry about that, it is kind of heavy. Here, let me get you a new one.” Old Lady: “NO! I want a new cart so I can go look at flowers!” Me: ”… okay. I’ll get you a new cart for the dirt.” Old Lady: “You DON’T understand! I want a new cart! Not this one! This one is broken!” Me: “That’s quite alright, ma’am. I’ll get you a new cart instead of this one.” Old Lady: “YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND! I WANT TO GO LOOK AT FLOWERS AND I WANT A NEW CART!” Me: “Okay, I think we have a miscommunication here! You may go look at flowers as much as you want. Then, just come check out when you’re done.” Old Lady: ”I’m just going to go look at flowers, AND I want a new cart.” (About 15 minutes after she looks at flowers, she comes down to my register. She’s still pushing the old cart.) Old Lady: “Well, I guess I’m done shopping for the day. Thank you so much for your help, sweetie!” Me: “You’re… welcome?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:16 pm Post #17565 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:16 pm Post #17566 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 4:17 pm Post #17567 |
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Holy F***, Indeed Copy Services Call Center | Orem, UT, USA Customer: “You f***ing b****! I’ll have your f****ing a** fired for this!” Me: “Sir, I do not appreciate your abusive language. If you do not knock it off, I am going to have to hang up on you.” Customer: ”I’m sorry. I’m really not usually like this.” (I helps with the customer’s problem, which involves some downtime while the website processes his request.) Customer: “So, where are you?” Me: “We’re based out of Utah.” Customer: “I’m in Van Nuys, California. Do you know where that is, lady?” Me: “I actually do. I lived there for six months.” Customer: “No s***! What were you doing here?” Me: “I was a Mormon missionary.” Customer: “And what is your name?” Me: *gives name* Customer: “Holy f***. I know you. I’m the bishop!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:17 pm Post #17568 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:17 pm Post #17569 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:17 pm Post #17570 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:17 pm Post #17571 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 4:17 pm Post #17572 |
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Grab Bag: Alaskan Cruise Cruise Line | Alaska (I worked briefly in one of the regional offices for a cruise line. One of my jobs was to read all customer comment cards from the end of their tours and cruises and enter the comments into our database.) 1. “Please cut down some of the trees in Denali National Park. It is difficult to see the forest because these trees are in the way.” 2. “There are a lot of old cars scattered all over the place. Can you please remove them? They look ugly.” 3. “I wanted to see Mt. McKinley but it was raining and too cloudy. I want my money back and/or a free cruise.” 4. “I couldn’t swim in the outside pool on the cruise ship because it was raining the entire trip. I want my money back and/or a free cruise.” 5. “I didn’t like the reindeer sausage you served on the train. I want my money back and/or a free cruise.” 6. “I wanted to see the wildlife tour, but 5:00 am is way too early for me to wake up while I’m on vacation. Can you please schedule the wildlife to be available later in the afternoon, so that I can see them?” 7. “I was supposed to ride the train through Denali National Park, but there was a fire. Why did you schedule the fire while I was there?” 8. “Why are there so many Alaskan natives in Alaska? Can you ask them to leave?” 9. “There are way too many trees and animals on the wildlife tour. Can you please put in some malls and tennis courts?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:18 pm Post #17573 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 4:18 pm Post #17574 |
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Grab Bag: MMA-SF Gift Shop | San Francisco, CA, USA (I work for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s retail store. Here are a few things customers have asked me.) 1. “Do you sell doo-rags here?” 2. “Do you want to come live in my condo with me, wrap my gifts and keep me company?” 3. “What?! Iced tea makes you thirsty?!” 4. “Do my earrings make me look like Greta Garbo? Do they scream ‘I want to be alone’?!” 5. “Are these rainbow watches for the queers?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:18 pm Post #17575 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 4:19 pm Post #17576 |
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911 Grab Bag: Define “Emergency” 911 Call Center | West Virginia, USA (The following quotes are from various phone calls made to a West Virginia 911 line) 1. “What are the Daily Pick Four lottery numbers?” 2. “My TV is out.” 3. “How much snow/rain are we supposed to get?” 4. “Is it illegal to tape a cat to a bottle rocket?” 5. “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” 6. “How high are gas prices going to get?” 7. “Why am I getting Error Message #781 on my computer screen?” 8. “I have never roasted a turkey before and my inlaws will be here in an hour.” 9. “I am reading this recipe. What is fennel?” 10. “I am doing my homework. What is the square root of 435?” 11. “Are crabs in season?” 12. “I wanna talk to a cop about my child support if you can drag one away from the donut shop.” 13. “I just wanted to make sure you were all awake.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 27, 2009 4:19 pm Post #17577 |
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Customer Service, God Speaking Library | El Paso, TX, USA (I’m working at the library; it’s cloudy and raining outside.) Patron: “Can you do something about all that noise?” Me: “Is the AC too loud? Maintenance isn’t here today, but I can give you some ear plugs.” Patron: “NOT THAT! The construction! Tell them I’m trying to work!” Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there’s no construction.” Patron: “That rumbling!” Me: “You mean the thunder?” Patron: “Whatever. Tell them to stop.” Me: “I’m sorry, but I really have no control over nature.” Patron: “Ugh, you people! You can’t do ANYTHING!” (Sadly, this man is a doctor.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:19 pm Post #17578 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:20 pm Post #17579 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 27, 2009 4:20 pm Post #17580 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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