 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,202 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:02 pm Post #16461 |
 
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from overheardinnewyork.com The Penises Get Mad When We're Late Girl: I'm really bad at observing people. Friend: I love Sleeping Beauty. Girl: I can't write about art if it's, like, asked by my teachers. That's what I hate about this class. Last semester I had to reckon with a Louise Bourgeois essay... All her penises. Are you guys ready to go? --Cooper-Hewitt, National Design Museum Overheard by: Alex Bailey |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:02 pm Post #16462 |
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Just Like My Grandma Always Said Big guy #1: Yeah, Greece is absolutely the best! Big guy #2: Mmm. Big guy #1: Greece is the best. Big guy #1: If you want to take it up the ass... --6th Ave & 17th St, Chelsea |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:02 pm Post #16463 |
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So, Easier to Live with Than You? Curious spectator: Are greyhounds easy to live with? Greyhound owner: Honey, in the past forty years, I've had three husbands and only one breed of dog! --Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show Overheard by: Another Greyhound Lover |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:02 pm Post #16464 |
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Female Discontent: The Universal Language High school girl to friend: All guys are either taken, jerks, butt-ugly, or gay! Black lady next to them: Amen sister, amen. --1 Train |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:03 pm Post #16465 |
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You Can Take the Girl Out Of the Island... Guy: So what was our plan again? Have a drink and then go for a drive? Girl: It'll be just like we're living in Long Island again! --26th & 8th |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:03 pm Post #16466 |
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You Really Have to Be, These Days. Teenage girl #1: Ow! Why did you throw your brain so hard? Teenage girl #2: You know you're into that kind of shit. --Penn Station Overheard by: Pretending to look at a map |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:03 pm Post #16467 |
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Anything Involving the Transportation Of Children, Really NYU guy: So what's your favorite movie? NYU girl: Baby Geniuses (pause) My second is Schindler's List. --Union Square Overheard by: AFI |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:05 pm Post #16468 |
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But I Have a Jellyfish Bite! Drunk preteen girl #1, dragging friend across room: Don't touch her hand! Drunk preteen girl #2: Why not? Drunk preteen girl #1: Cause she just peed on it! --Penn Station Overheard by: Allison T |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:05 pm Post #16469 |
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Does That Make Us Generation KY? Girl #1: Whoa! People still get herpes? I thought herpes was a thing of the 80s. Girl #2: Yeah, well, my mom was having sex in the 80s. --13th St & 4th Ave Overheard by: dani Headline by: Sam |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:06 pm Post #16470 |
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...And We've Been Together Ever Since. 20-something burnout: Would you like to know what this girl said last night, when she was tripping balls and the cops came to my house? Friend: She thought she was in a nursing home! 20-something burnout: She was screaming all this crazy stuff. (pause) Wait, are you offended by dirty words? Friend: Go for it. 20-something burnout: "You d!ck!" Friend: Excuse me? 20-something burnout: "You f#cking nigger f@ggot! Bitch-ass sp!c! I'm a f#cking lesbian! You're a f#cking lesbian!" --Mineola Ave, Queens |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:06 pm Post #16471 |
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Speaking Of Red Skin...Ew. Boy #1: Do you like the Chargers? Boy #2: Yeah. Boy #1: Do you like the Redskins? Boy #2: Yeah. Boy #1: Do you like my bum? --Central Park |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:07 pm Post #16472 |
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If Only That Worked with Ashlee Simpson Hobo, singing: Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb! Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was... Man, holding out dollar: I will give you one dollar to shut the f#ck up. Hobo: (shuts up) --14th St Subway Station |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:07 pm Post #16473 |
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My Cyberstalker Texted Me About It Little kid with notebook: Mom, what is this called? Mom: That's a notebook. Little kid: Notebook! Notebook! I got a notebook! My Facebook! Facebook! Mom, amused: How do you know about Facebook? --Downtown 1 Train Overheard by: Camillia* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:08 pm Post #16474 |
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from notalwaysright.com For Everything Else, There’s TasterCard Gift Shop | United Kingdom Me: “That’s £26.50, please.” Customer: “Can I pay by card?” Me: “Sure. Please enter your card into the machine, and then put in your pin code.” Customer: “Right, are these machines waterproof?” Me: “I’m sorry, sir?” Customer: “I wouldn’t get an electric shock from one, would I?” Me: “Err, no?” (Suddenly, the customer bends his head down and uses his mouth to cover up the keys. He then uses his tongue to try and push down the numbers of his pin code.) Me: “Sir, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to stop! That’s incredibly unhygenic.” Customer: “But it’s the only way to keep it safe!” Me: “Have you considered covering the keys with your hand instead of your mouth?” Customer: “Yes, but it’s not as safe!” Me: “I’m afraid we’re just going to have to risk that. We can’t have you licking our machines.” Customer: “Bah!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:09 pm Post #16475 |
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Too Much Information, Part 6 Restaurant | Delaware, USA (I’m cleaning up several tables at a restaurant and overhear this conversation between three customers.) Female Customer #1: “…porn star. You can’t be shy about it! There’s not being shy if you’re just going to be a porn star, anyway.” Female Customer #2: “Yeah! What’re you working with, anyway?” Male Customer: *gets up and faces table, hands moving towards jeans* Me: *abandons tasks and leaves section immediately* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:09 pm Post #16476 |
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Way, Way, Way Too Much Information Dry Cleaner | Doncaster, UK Caller: “I was wondering what stains you can get out of fabric? Can you get everything out?” Me: “What is the stain, exactly?” Caller: “Well, I was watching this woman on telly and I got a bit excited–” Me: *cuts him off* “–Oh yes, we can get THAT out.” Caller: “Do you want to know who it was?” Me: “Ummm…” Eavesdropping coworker: *grabs phone* “Ooh yes, tell us!” Caller: “Dolly Parton. She really does it for me!” (All unusual customer requests from that day forward were known as ‘Dolly Partons’.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:09 pm Post #16477 |
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Way, Way Too Much Information Gas Station | California, USA Customer: “Oh, I almost forgot… I need a lighter.” Me: “Alright. Well, here are the various ones we have.” *points at lighters* Customer: “Can you pick one out for me?” Me: “Sure thing, sir. Any particular design or color you like?” Customer: “Clear, just like my underwear.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:10 pm Post #16478 |
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Way Too Much Information Grocery Store | Boynton Beach, FL, USA (I was ringing up a old lady when another old lady in my line recognized the first lady.) Old Lady #1: “Oh hey! I didn’t see you there!” Old Lady #2: “That’s okay… I didn’t recognize you with clothes on!” Me: “What?!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:11 pm Post #16479 |
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TMI Redux Retail | Belgium (An older woman in her 50s needed some help picking out a new MP3 player.) Me: “Okay, so you got any preferences?” Woman: “Well, do you have any that are waterproof?” Me: “Not really…” Woman: “I had one before, but it’s broken.” Me: “Oh, okay.” Woman: “Yeah, it was my own fault though, I think.” Me: “How come?” Woman: “Well, I put it in here–” *points and looks at her breasts* “–while I was at the gym. I guess I was sweating a bit too much!” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 25, 2009 6:12 pm Post #16480 |
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TMI (Too Much Information) Book/DVD/Music Shop | Ireland (I was working on the customer service desk and answered a call from a customer inquiring about a special order they had placed) Customer: “Yes my name is ****. The name of the DVD is ‘Spring Break’.” (I put the customer’s details into the computer, and the search results say the full name of the DVD was “Spring Break Sex Riot” which also had an…. explicit cover on it. I assumed that there must have been a mistake and the wrong title was ordered) Me: “Um……. I think I found your order here on the system, but it hasn’t arrived in the store yet. I think there might be a mistake here–could you give me some more details about the film?” Customer: “Ah man, you’re missing out!! You have to see it!! Its about all these hot chicks who go on spring break and have lots of sex! Its excellent!” Me: *glad I have never been this desperate* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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