 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,227 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:57 pm Post #15961 |
 
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And If That Doesn't Work, We'll Tell Him Jesus Hates Drinkers! Small girl, seeing drunken man reeling down the street: Daddy, what's wrong with that man? Father: I think he's just drunk a bit too much beer. Small girl: Hannah's daddy likes beer. Father: Yes, but if you drink too much of it, it can make you fall down. Small girl: We should tell him! Father: I think he probably knows. Small girl: He might not! --Times Square |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:57 pm Post #15962 |
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Now Let's Go Find Obama's Ancestors Little boy to mom at Native American exhibit: Oh! Weapons! Mom: Yeah, those are weapons, but we don't like them because they hurt people and are used during wars. Little boy: President Bush started a war! Mom: Yes he did, and that's why we don't like him. --The Museum of Natural History Overheard by: Hanna! |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:58 pm Post #15963 |
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What It Lacks in Wilderness It Makes Up for in Jungle Print Girl: I don't understand how they can still film Survivor. Haven't they run out of desolated islands by now? Guy: Long Island? --Washington Square Park Overheard by: cnol |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:58 pm Post #15964 |
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So Put That in Your Pipe and Smoke It Annoyed commuter: Shut up, you jobless crackhead piece of shit! Crackhead: F#ck you, man, I got a job! I sell crack. --A Train |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:58 pm Post #15965 |
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I Also Would Have Accepted "Furry" or "Bouncey" Well-heeled mother: Now, what do we call little baby kangaroos? Four-year-old boy: Marsupials! --Penn Station Overheard by: hells kitchen dweller |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 6:03 pm Post #15966 |
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So...Here? Mom: So, what's your third-favorite place in the world? Young daughter: I just burped. Mom: That's nice. --103rd & Broadway Overheard by: Special K |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 6:06 pm Post #15967 |
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His Ignorance Is the Elephant in the Room. Gangster kid #1: Are you a Democrat or a Republican? Gangster kid #2: No! Yo, f#ck democracy, I'm a Republican! --Midtown |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 6:06 pm Post #15968 |
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Which People in New York Have Been on Board with for Years Girl watching trailers: Okay, what is it with all the rodent-themed movies lately? Suit: Yeah, I noticed that, too! Girl: I think it's Disney's attempt to get everyone on board with pestilence as the new world order. --Empire 25 Theater |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 6:07 pm Post #15969 |
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They're Essentially Running Around Barefoot, Rubbing Sticks Together for Fire Curly teen: Did you see that guy with tattoos all over his face? Do you think he's allowed above 14th Street? Brunette teen: I think he can get to 23rd without too much damage. Curly teen: No way, Chelsea is too classy to handle that. Brunette teen: Not really. They did just open up a Chipotle. --Union Square |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 6:07 pm Post #15970 |
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..Just Like Guitar Hero. Guy #1: Mario and Luigi are so Mexican. Guy #2: What?! Are you crazy? They're Italian, duh! Guy #1: No, but they've got the mustache, you know? That's so Mexican! Guy #2: No, they have Italian mustaches! Guy #1: Psst, you do know what the whole point of the game is, right? Guy #2: Yeah, these two Italian guys go and save some kidnapped princess. Guy #1: Really? I thought it was about two Mexicans trying to hop the border. --Chambers & Greenwich Overheard by: Milo |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 6:08 pm Post #15971 |
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Judaism Often Happens Without Warning in New York Concerned woman: I just worry that the Messiah will come and I won't be Jewish yet. Friend: Mmm... Concerned woman: I mean, I just really hope I'm Jewish by next Yom Kippur. Friend: Yeah. --F Train Overheard by: dee |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 6:08 pm Post #15972 |
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You Should Hear Their Rendition Of "Baby Got Back" Little girl: I like to (inabudible)! I like to (inaudible)! Asian nanny, singing: I like to move it, move it! I like to move it, move it! --Church & White St Overheard by: OUch Eezy |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 6:11 pm Post #15973 |
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Just Like Les Mis! 40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Hey! How's it going?! Where are you from? 40-something regular guy: Seattle. You? 40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Newport Beach, California! What are you off to do? 40-something regular guy: Dinner and some drinks with friends. You? 40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Me and a buddy are going to take mushrooms and go see Young Frankenstein for the third time! It's hilarious when you're high! --Elevator, Sheraton Hotel |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 6:11 pm Post #15974 |
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My Casseroles Just Taste Like Boogers, Sweetie Mother to son: Timmy, stop eating your boogers! It's disgusting! Timmy: But it's tasty! You should try it too! Mother, whispering: Oh, shit. --Chelsea |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 6:15 pm Post #15975 |
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No One Took Little Hannibal Seriously Until It Was Too Late Dad to four-year-old throwing tantrum: I'm gonna take off your shoes and tickle your feet. Four-year-old boy: Then I'm gonna punch you! Dad: Then I'm gonna throw your shoes into the street. Four-year-old boy: Then I'm gonna...eat your...penis! --Outside Lucali's Pizza, Carroll Gardens Overheard by: Frankie |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 6:18 pm Post #15976 |
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from notalwaysright.com A Lack Of Planning On Your Part… Customer Service | Florida, USA Customer: *on his cell phone, handing me a list* “I need all of these items.” Me: “Ok, let me just get someone to help you.” Customer: “Why can’t you just do it?” Me: “I can’t leave the register.” Customer: *shouting now* “I’M A VERY BUSY MAN!” Me: “Well, I’m sorry sir, but I cannot leave the register. Let me just call someone for you.” Customer: “HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE EXPECT TO RUN A BUSINESS! I NEED MY STUFF!” Me: *on phone* “Could I have someone come up and help a customer please?” Customer: *screaming over my phone call* “JUST GIVE ME MY DAMN ITEMS! I NEED THEM!” Me: “Someone is on their way to help you, sir.” Customer: “I needed these items two hours ago; I couldn’t get here until now. My time is being wasted; MY TIME IS PRECIOUS!” Me: “I don’t know what to tell you, scooter. Learn to manage your time better.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 6:19 pm Post #15977 |
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May I Recommend A Good Crime Drama While I Have You? Bookstore | Kern County, CA, USA (90% of the calls the bookstore receives are to ask our hours, check stock, or to ask when a book will be released. With that in mind, the phone rings one afternoon.) Me: “Thank you for calling ****, how can I help you?” Customer: “I need to know a release date.” Me: “Sure, what is the title?” Customer: *gives a strange number, not the type bookstores use* Me: “What? Is that a title?” (The customer gives the number again, and I am not finding anything like it in the computer database.) Me: “I don’t know what you mean.” Customer: “A release date! I need to know when my son will be released.” (It’s then that I realize she means Booking, not Books.) Me: “Uh, we’re a book store.” Customer: “What number is this?” Me: *gives the store phone number* Customer: “I didn’t call that number.” *hangs up* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 6:20 pm Post #15978 |
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Invasion Of The Spacey Wedding Guests Department Store | Philadelphia, PA, USA (A young woman wanders up to the bridal registry counter, her eyes and mouth wide open in amazement. She is alone - no cell phone or bluetooth headset in sight.) Me: “What can I help you with?” Customer: “Wow! You know why I’m here?!” Me: “…I don’t know why you’re here, ma’am, but what can I help you with?” Customer: *aside* “HOLD ON MOM!” *to me* “I need Emily’s registry.” Me: “I have more then one Emily in the system…do you know her last name, or the groom’s name?” Customer: “More then one Emily? WOW! His name is Rocco!” Me: “I don’t have an Emily and a Rocco….” (The customer grabs my computer screen so she can see, and points at an e-mail address on the screen.) Customer: “Rockinred@***.com - THAT’S HIM!!” Me: “That’s his e-mail address, not his name. His name is Richard.” Customer: “THAT’S WHAT THEY CALL HIM! HOLD ON, MOM!” Me: “Okay, he goes by his e-mail address. That’ll be right up for you.” (Customer wanders off, staring at nearby shiny objects.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 6:20 pm Post #15979 |
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It Was Either That Or Get Shocked By The Kite Again Bookstore | Los Angeles, CA, USA Customer: “I need a biography of Benjamin Franklin.” Me: *I take him to the history section* “Here’s his autobiography.” Customer: “That means he wrote it himself, right?” Me: “Yes, that’s correct.” Customer: *eyes widening* “They could do that back then?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 6:20 pm Post #15980 |
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If You Control Your Movements Enough, Then Yes Hardware Store | Indiana, USA (I approach a lady looking at a particular paint being advertised as good for faux painting techniques.) Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?” Customer: “Yeah, does this paint come with the stripes in it?” Me: “Um… you mean, if you paint the wall with that paint, will stripes magically appear?” Customer: “Yes.” Me: *stifling laughter* “No.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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