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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,228 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:38 pm Post #15941 |
 
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Remember the Time We Woke Up Handcuffed to That Goat? Girl: Oh my god, Amanda*, I haven't seen you in so long. I feel like I'm making bad decisions because I haven't seen you. Amanda*: Ha, I feel like I'm making too many good decisions because I haven't seen you. We need to get me in more trouble. And maybe keep you out of it. Hamilton, New Jersey Overheard by: Currrly! |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:39 pm Post #15942 |
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Apparently She Didn't Know That, Either. Seven-year-old girl with speech impediment: I told everyone in class I was going to the Kentucky Derby. Mother: Did people know what the Derby was? Seven-year-old girl: Alicia didn't! She was like "what is the Derby?" but everyone else in the class knew! Mother: Well, that is because she is from Russia. Seven-year-old girl: And New Hampshire. Mother: She's from Russia. Seven-year-old girl: And New Hampshire?...I told her I was sorry she was adopted. Southwest Flight above Chicago, Illinois |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:39 pm Post #15943 |
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And When I Moved They Followed Me, Like Eyes Hipster to boyfriend: There are certain places that you expect a woman's nipples to be, and hers were not in any of those places. Cedar Rapids, Iowa |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:39 pm Post #15944 |
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According to My Report Card. Little boy to teacher: I am the ultimate unicorn! Michigan |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:40 pm Post #15945 |
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My Autobiography Features Some Great Tips. Chick to cop interrupting honor students' discussion: Oh, um, we were just talking about how we would cover up a murder. Cop, laughing: Oh, you would not believe how many times I've heard that... Metro State College Denver, Colorado |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:41 pm Post #15946 |
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from overheardatthebeach.com Stop Touching My Cellulite, Sweetie. Little girl in an excited hush: It looks like the desert... It even has lumps like the desert! --Williamstown beach, Melbourne, Australia |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:41 pm Post #15947 |
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Did That Guy Seem Juiced Up to You? Skinny, half naked black guy wearing purple booty shorts: "do you guys do drugs?" College kids: "no..." Black guy: "oh I do...I'm a drug addict. Yeah, I just came from a rave, there are some crazy people out there! Why are y'all sitting here in the middle of venice beach? It gets dangerous here at night!" College kid (holding an orange): "well, I'm strapped, so..." Black guy: "is that an orange? Can I have it?" (takes orange and walks away). --Venice Beach Overheard by: Keidi |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:45 pm Post #15948 |
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from overheardeingtheoffice.com 5PM Well, You Can Fix It, but You Can't Fix Fix It Evil woman: So I heard this question on the radio this morning: would you rather be fat and someone think you're pregnant, or someone think you are a prostitute? That's just retarded, because you can fix pregnant...and fat. You can't fix prostitute. St Louis, Missouri |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:46 pm Post #15949 |
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4PM ...You're Fired. 20-something blonde: It sure is cold out here today. I heard it will be one of the coldest days in the last 30 years. Argumentative VP: No, it doesn't seem too cold today. I can usually tell when it's very cold because my glasses fog up. 20-something blonde: Ummmmmm...you're not wearing glasses. Argumentative VP: Oh...that's a good point. Beachwood, Ohio Overheard by: The Cleveland Kid |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:47 pm Post #15950 |
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from overheardinnewyork.com ...Get Thee to a Punnery! Nerdy guy #1: That dude is a total f@g, anyway! Nerdy girl: Uh, you can't call people f@gs... Nerdy guy #2: Yeah! From now on, let's use "fog". Nerdy girl: That guy is such a fog? Nerdy guy #1: Yeah... He will be mist. (20 seconds later) Nerdy girl: Wait! Missed? Mist? My god... --NYU |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:47 pm Post #15951 |
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They're Like Madagascar. Seven-year-old boy: This hat is fake. Seven-year-old girl: Hats can't be fake. Hats can't even be real. --6 Train Overheard by: oldsamcole |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:50 pm Post #15952 |
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Young Whoopi Goldberg Knew She Had to Be Funnier Than This Guy Comedy show promoter: Miss! You dropped a dreadlock! Black woman with dreadlocks: Where? (worriedly searches the ground) Comedy show promoter, holding flyer in her face as looks up: Just kidding! You like comedy? --Union Square |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:50 pm Post #15953 |
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Reader Poll: Has the Shelf Life Expired on That Reference? Film professor: So, as you can see, ads use many different types of targets to get you to buy their stuff. What do beer ads use to make you want beer? Student: Twins! --NYU Overheard by: queenofscots |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:51 pm Post #15954 |
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Translation: I'm Having an Outbreak Gay #1: So how's the gay scene been treating you since you moved here? Gay #2: Eh. City c*ck isn't really my type. --Borough Hall Overheard by: lusherz |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:51 pm Post #15955 |
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That Joke Never Gets Old! Man: What is iPod? What is laptop? Girl with headphones, laughing: Good one! Man: What is iPod? What is laptop? --B Train |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:51 pm Post #15956 |
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Like When He Was 2 and He Still Didn't Know About Santa Hot nerdy girl: Like that one time when I was 11, and I got in trouble for telling Kevin that there's bacteria in yogurt and he started crying. Like, ugh, its not my fault you raised him to be so oblivious. Hipster friend: Yeah, he was like 6 or something, he shoulda known dat shit by then. --66th St & Broadway Overheard by: Robert |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:52 pm Post #15957 |
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The Republic Of Jeans Isn't a Democracy, Chuckie Dad to kids on freezing day: Who wants to go in this jeans store to get warm? Preteen girl: I love jeans! Slightly younger girl: I love jeans! Little brother: I hate jeans! (starts to cry) --Broadway & Spring St |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:52 pm Post #15958 |
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Shish Kanish Is That Falafel Place Over on Third 10-year-old white boy: Mom, you know what I'm wondering? Mom: No, what? 10-year-old: What does "shish kanish" mean? Mom, staring at him: What the hell are you talking about? 10-year-old: In that song by Shakira it says she makes a man wanna "shish kanish." Mom, shaking head: "Speak Spanish," Cory. She made a man wanna speak Spanish. Shit, you ain't never gonna be a singer. --Tenement Museum Overheard by: Excuse me while I kiss this guy |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:53 pm Post #15959 |
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Rumpelstiltskin's Had a Bad Year Lady conductor: What's your problem?! Are you bored? You crossed the magic line! Man conductor: Yeah... Lady conductor: You crossed the magic line! He crossed the magic line! --NJ Transit |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 5:54 pm Post #15960 |
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Gangstas, Inc. Still Hasn't Learned to Hold Private Staff Meetings Girl on train: Excuse me, don't touch my bag. Young thug: I am just tryin to close your zipper. Girl: Yeah, and then you take my wallet! Thug: Why you think I am gonna take yo wallet? Because I'm black? Girl: No, because I heard you tell your friend "I'imma steal this bitch's wallet." Thug: Oh. --A Train |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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