 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,231 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:24 pm Post #15881 |
 
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Occam’s Razor Phone Customer Service | Colorado, USA Me: “Thank you for calling **** Mobile Customer Service, how can I help you?” Customer: “Hi, there’s something wrong with my phone. It won’t take pictures.” Me: “Is it a camera phone?” Customer: “No.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:25 pm Post #15882 |
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Pen Envy Pool Supply Store | The Colony, TX, USA (Upon finishing a transaction with a customer, I give her a printed receipt to sign, along with a foot-long novelty pen.) Customer: *getting very excited* “Oh. My. God. I love this pen.” Me: “Ha, yeah, it’s pretty cool.” Customer: “No, you have no idea. I love this pen. Gigantic pens are my thing.” Me: “Oh, well, that’s cool then.” Customer: “Can I buy it from you? I collect gigantic pens.” Me: “Well, it’s not exactly a sale item, and it’s the manager’s pen anyway, so–” Customer: “But I collect them! And this one is just awesome. Here, I can trade you for my pen.” Me: “No, I don’t think–” Customer: *digs in her purse and thrusts a pen at me* “Here, look! It’s really nice and it writes really well. Look at this - it’s real wood! It’s a REALLY NICE PEN!” Me: “I’m sure you’d rather have that nice pen than the manager’s giant pen.” (The customer begins to awkwardly try and sneak the huge pen into her purse. I stare at her while she does this, and she stops.) Customer: “All right, all right! But I’ll be back for it!” Me: “I have no doubt that you will. Have a nice day.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:26 pm Post #15883 |
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Now Showing In Utero Vision Movie Theater | Watertown, NY, USA (A very pregnant customer and her small child walk up to the theater box office.) Customer: *points at marquee* “Are these all the movies you got playing?” Me: “Yep, I’d say so….” Customer: “Ok, I’ll have three for ****.” Me: “Are there any children in the group?” Customer: *points to boy and pregnant belly* “Yes, two.” Me: “Ma’am, we don’t charge for children age 2 and under…or unborn fetuses….” Customer: “Ok…just one then!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:28 pm Post #15884 |
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And On This Farm He Had My Dinner Grocery Store | Geilo, Norway Customer: What’s the difference between this-” *holds up a steak of lamb* “and this?” *holds up a steak of calf* Me: “Well, this one is from a lamb, and this one from a calf. It says so right here on the label.” Customer: “But what part of the animal is that?” Me: *points at the lamb* “Baaaa.” *pointing at the calf* “Moooo.” Customer: *happily* “Oh, thank you so much!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:28 pm Post #15885 |
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Beefed-Up Technology Retail | Kansas City, MO, USA (I was a customer at a cell phone store, observing the following exchange.) Employee: “I’m sorry sir, but your phone has water damage, which isn’t covered by the warranty. You will have to purchase a new phone.” Customer: “That’s ridiculous! I haven’t gotten the phone wet!” Employee: “Have you used the phone in the rain? Sometimes, that’s all it takes to get the internals wet enough to damage the device.” Customer: “Well, yes, but that doesn’t make any sense! Cows are in the rain all the time and they don’t die!” Employee: “…” Me: *interjecting* “Sir, cows aren’t electronic devices.” Customer: *storms out* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:29 pm Post #15886 |
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The Elves Didn’t Meet Quota This Year Retail | Texas, USA Me: “Hi, thank you for calling ****. My name is ****, how may I help you?” Customer: “Yes ma’am, I was wondering if you had any Mario Karts?” Me: “For the Nintendo Wii? No ma’am, we are currently sold out.” Customer: “Okay, but are you sure you don’t have any stocked up in the back that you’re ‘holding’ for someone?” Me: “No ma’am. We have none in stock whatsoever.” Customer: “Well, I don’t think you’re helping me out too much with this sale.” Me: “Ma’am? There’s not really much I can do.” Customer: “No, I don’t think you UNDERSTAND. It is IMPERATIVE that I get this game for Christmas. You DO know what that means, right?” Me: “I’m fully capable of understanding a 4-syllable word, ma’am. However, that game has been a very hot item this Christmas, and has been nearly impossible to find. Im-poss-i-ble. You DO know what that means, right?” Customer: “WHY DON’T YOU GO ABOVE AND BEYOND FOR YOUR CUSTOMERS?” Me: “Ma’am, what more can I possibly do? We don’t have any physically in the store.” Customer: “Well thanks a lot! Now you’re gonna make me look like a bad Santa in front of my children!” Me: “Ma’am, a good Santa wouldn’t have waited two days before Christmas.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Sun May 24, 2009 4:29 pm Post #15887 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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C'mon AWOL. 1100 pages before midnight! 
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:29 pm Post #15888 |
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Financial Loaves And Fishes Bank | Cambridge, MA, USA Customer: “There seems to be a problem with my ATM card. I can’t get any money out.” Me: “Hold on, let me check your account…you only have $3.35 in your bank account.” Customer: “Ok, so how do we fix that?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:33 pm Post #15889 |
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South Paw Prophecy Retail | Gatineau, Quebec, Canada Me: “Hello there, how may I help you?” Customer: “I would like a refund on this item, please.” Me: “Ok, no problem sir.” (I start filling out a refund sheet.) Customer: “Oh! I see that you’re left handed!” Me: “Yep!” Customer: “I pity you….” Me: “Um…and why should I be pitied, exactly?” Customer: “How long did your parents live?” Me: “Er…both of my parents are very much alive, sir.” Customer: “Oh? What about your grandparents?” Me: “I saw them a few days ago. They’re alive too, and in great health.” Customer: “How old are they?” Me: *telling him their ages* “They’re in great shape.” Customer: “Then you will die at the age of 70!” Me: “Here’s your refund, sir….” Customer: “I wish it weren’t so…good luck to you.” Me: “Ok…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:36 pm Post #15890 |
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Always Imitated, Never Duplicated Bookstore | Boston, MA, USA Customer: “Do you have a copy of **** in stock?” Me: “Yes, we do. Would you like me to put it on hold for you?” Customer: “Yes. Also, I was emailed a coupon that I’d like to use to buy that book, but my printer is broken. Is there anything you can do?” Me: “Sure, just write down the coupon code and the amount you’ll be saving. As long as we can verify these two things in the system, our computers will allow the discount.” Customer: “Should I draw the bar code for you?” Me: “I’m sorry? Come again?” Customer: “Would it help if I drew the bar code?” Me: “No…the coupon code will do just fine.” Customer: “Thanks!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:36 pm Post #15891 |
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Petrol Perception Gas Station | Los Angeles, CA, USA Customer: “Your pumps are a lot slower than they used to be. It never used to take this long to pump $20 of gas.” Me: “The pump speed hasn’t decreased; it just takes longer to get to $20 now that the price of gas is half what it used to be.” Customer: “Well, I wish it would go up again so I could fill up faster!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:37 pm Post #15892 |
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We Have Confirmation Sandwich Shop | Newington, CT, USA (Our credit card machine went down, and we started to make signs for the doors alerting the customers to this. Before the signs were up, I had to ring up a customer’s order.) Me: “The total is ****. I’m sorry; our credit card machine is down.” Customer: “Well, I don’t see any signs!” Me: “The machine just broke five minutes ago while you were still in line. I was just telling my coworker to make signs a moment ago….” Customer: “I don’t have enough cash. How about debit?” Me: “Well, debit would use the same machine as the credit cards, but either way our store does not accept debit. Just cash today.” Customer: “How about a check?” Me: “Sorry, no personal checks. Just cash today.” Customer: *getting upset now* “Well, what do you expect me to do?” Me: “The last customer went next door to use the ATM to get cash.” Customer: “You’re being extremely rude, you know!” Me: “Ma’am, I’m just trying to explain to you that the credit card machine is down.” Customer: “Well, I don’t listen!” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:38 pm Post #15893 |
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Seek, And Ye Shall Find…Eventually Furniture Store | Glasgow, Scotland Customer: “Hi. Can I have a cappuccino please?” Me: “Uh …sorry ma’am, but you’re in a furniture store. We don’t sell coffee.” Customer: “I didn’t ask for coffee, I asked for a d**n cappuccino!” Me: “Well, we don’t sell those either.” Customer: *looking hurt* “Why not?” Me: “We sell furniture. Look around you….” Customer: *starts crying* “This is the fourth time this has happened on this street!” *runs out* (As it turns out, she’d gone into a clothing store, a pharmacy and a grocery store, just to find herself a cappuccino.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:39 pm Post #15894 |
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Fond Future Memories Grocery Store | California, USA Me: “Ok sir, your total today is $62.30.” Customer: *serious* “That was a good year. I remember it well….” Me: “6230?!” Customer: “Yeah.” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:39 pm Post #15895 |
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Just A Little Closer… Computer Store | Oregon, USA (A customer purchased a copy of a popular anti virus program. About 2 hours later I received a phone call.) Me: “Thank you for calling ****, how can I help you?” Customer: “I just bought a **** anti virus program from your store, and it’s not working.” Me: “What about it isn’t working? Did you install the program?” Customer: “It’s not interfacing with my system.” Me: “Not…interfacing? I’m not sure I understand what the problem is.” Customer: “I set the box next to my computer, and it’s not doing anything at all. Nothing is happening on my computer! This program is defective.” Me: “Um…well, you have to open the box and insert the CD into your computer, then install the program before it will run.” Customer: “WHAT?! How do I do that?” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:40 pm Post #15896 |
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Finger Lickin’ Good Parenting Deli | Windsor, CA, USA (A man walks up to our hot case with his wife and two little girls.) Me: “Hi! How may I help you?” Customer: “Hi - we wanted to get some chicken strips.” (As I am taking his order, I notice his daughters licking the hot case glass.) Me: “Excuse me sir, but your daughters are licking the glass.” Customer: “Yeah.” Me: “Well…aside from the fact that the glass is hot, we cleaned it this morning with a chemical cleaner to wash off a layer of grease build-up.” Customer: “So?” Me: “The chemical we used is a known carcinogen. I might suggest that you stop your daughters from ingesting it.” Customer: “Look, lady. You’ve obviously never been a parent. When you have kids, you’ll learn that it’s MUCH easier to just let your kids do whatever they want.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:40 pm Post #15897 |
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It Was Only A Suggestion Sandwich Shop | Norcross, GA, USA Me: “All right sir, here’s your meal.” Customer: “Thanks a lot!” Me: “Have a nice day.” Customer: *serious* “Don’t tell me what to do!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:41 pm Post #15898 |
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Land That I Love Customer Service | Seattle, WA, USA (I received this call from a customer requesting web site support.) Customer: “I want to order from you, but it says that my state is ‘Invalid’!” Me: “What state are you putting in?” Customer: “‘The Great State Of Texas’!” Me: “Are you putting that whole phrase in the box?” Customer: “Well, it ran out of room after the ‘t’ and the ‘h’.” Me: “When you put in the state on our site, you need to use the 2-letter state code set up by the United States Post Office.” Customer: “What do you mean by that?” Me: “The United States Post Office has a code for each state and territory of the United States. Texas would be ‘TX’.” Customer: “WHAT?! HOW ARE THEY GOING TO KNOW TO SEND IT TO THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS IF IT ONLY SAYS ‘TX’?! MY ORDER WOULD BE LOST!” Me: “Actually, I’m pretty sure that the United States Post Office would know that ‘TX’ is ‘The Great State Of Texas’….” Customer: *types it in* “Oh, look at that - it worked. Can you hold on for a second? I want to call the Post Master of our town and confirm this….” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:45 pm Post #15899 |
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The Joy Of Cooking Without Opposable Thumbs Bookstore | Berlin, VT, USA Customer: “Excuse me…where is your dog cookbook section?” Me: “Um…dog cookbooks?” Customer: “Yes. Where are they located?” Me: “We don’t have a dog cookbook section in the store. I don’t think we have any dog cookbooks at all.” Customer: *stares blankly* “You can’t be serious.” Me: “I’m sorry, miss. I might be able to order-” Customer: *interrupting* “YOU DON’T HAVE ANY DOG COOKBOOKS? THIS IS RIDICULOUS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY DOG FOR CHRISTMAS?” Me: “Have you considered a nice set of dog cookware?” Customer: *storms out* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 24, 2009 4:45 pm Post #15900 |
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You’d Better Throw In The Cars, Too Real Estate | Kansas City, MO, USA Me: “Thank you for calling **** Realtors, this is ****, how may I help you?” Customer: “Hi, I’m interested in 734 **** Street. Could you tell me more information about it?” Me: “You must mean 732 **** Street?” Customer: “No, 734.” Me: “Does the house have a sign in the yard that says **** Realtors?” Customer: “No, but the one next door does. I figured I’d just call you guys since you sell houses.” Me: “Has it occurred to you that somebody probably lives in 734 **** Street?” Customer: “Well, yeah, but can’t you just, like…give it to me?” Me: “You want me to call the family and tell them that they have to leave their house because I’m selling it to you?” Customer: “Yeah, that would be good. And can I move in by Thursday? I’m all packed.” (It took a good 15 minutes to explain to him that I couldn’t just sell random peoples’ homes.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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