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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,249 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:33 pm Post #15521 |
 
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Inventory Reality Check Retail | Pennsylvania, USA Customer: *to me, serious* “So, are you 50% off too?” Me: “Excuse me?” Customer: “Your sign says that everything is 50% off. That includes you, right?” Me: “Sir, I can assure you that I am not for sale. The sale is only on Christmas items, and I am not included.” Customer: *still serious* “But you work here! That means you’re for sale too!” (After a 5-minute battle, he finally gives up and walks out empty-handed.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:34 pm Post #15522 |
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A Law Degree In Second-Degree Burns Convenience Store | Missoula, MT, USA (Our convenience store is on a college campus, and we have five different kinds of coffee in self-serve urns). Customer: “Wow, this coffee is really hot!” Me: “Um…” Customer: “What if I spill it or something? I could get burned!” Me: “Well, yes. But it’s coffee. Coffee is usually hot.” Customer: “Well, I could sue you, you know. I heard about a woman who sued because the coffee burned her.” Me: “I don’t know that you could, actually. That was–” Customer: *interrupting* “Yeah, but I don’t see any signs.” (I point to large signs on all the coffee urns saying “Caution: Contents HOT“.) Customer: “I could still sue.” Me: “Yeah, but you’re a college student. We assume you can read.” Customer: “Oh yeah? Betcha I could prove I can’t!” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:36 pm Post #15523 |
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Store - Bad Customer = Happy Retail | New Jersey, USA (This incident happened right before we closed on Christmas Eve. A woman has purchased a shirt and a pair of pants. I ring her purchase and tell her the total.) Me: “That’ll be $39.98.” Customer: “WHAT? No, no, no. That’s not right. No. How much was the shirt?” Me: “$12.99. The pants were $26.99.” Customer: “NO THEY WEREN’T! They were $12.99, just like the pants! I got them from right over THERE!” *violently stabs her finger in the direction of the rack* Me: *sighs* “Ok, hold on one second, ma’am… I’ll check. Customer: *to coworker* “I’m about to put this b**** on blast, you watch.” (I read the sign and confirm that the shirts on one side of the rack are $12.99, but the pants on the other are $26.99. This is also written out on the sale sign.) Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but the sign says right here that the pants are $26.99.” Customer: “What?! Well how was I supposed to know that? I saw $12.99 so I thought $12.99! I don’t read letters, I only read numbers!” Me: “…well, our signs have both letters and numbers, and you have to read both to understand the sale.” Customer: “No way am I paying $26.99 for these pants! Change it!” Me: “Well, it’s not our error, ma’am. The sign is correctly written and posted on the correct rack, even in the correct position. There’s nothing I can do.” Customer: *slapping counter* “FINE. There’s no reason why I should have to read signs! I only read numbers, not letters!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:37 pm Post #15524 |
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The Road To Yell(ing) Is Paved With Good Intentions Retail | Seattle, WA Customer: “How much is this bag?” Me: “That bag is actually part of a deal, if you purchase twenty dollars worth of product you can get the bag for an additional ten dollars.” Customer: “…That’s not what I asked. How much is the bag?” Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. The price of the bag itself is forty dollars.” Customer: “So why’d you tell me all of that other garbage?” Me: “I was just telling you the deal we had going on with the bag. If you spend twenty dollars, you can get the bag for ten dollars. (I glance at her shopping bag and notice other items.) Me: “… and it looks like, with those lotions, you’ll be spending around eighteen dollars, so if you spent another two dollars, you could get the deal.” Customer: “Why can’t I just buy the bag?” Me: “…You can buy the bag. It’s just a better deal the other way. You’re already close to spending twenty dollars with those two lotions, so if you reached twenty, you’d get the bag for ten.” Customer: “This is ridiculous. Any time I come into this store, you people always try to get me to buy more of your junk than I want.” Me: “Ma’am, I’m not trying to push you to buy anything… You’d just be saving a lot of money. Spending around thirty dollars and getting more items, rather than spending around sixty and getting fewer items.” Customer: “Well, I don’t care. If I wanted to buy something else, I’d have put in in my shopping bag. This is all I want, so don’t go trying to get me to buy anything else. I’m ready to check out.” Me: “Okay, then. I can ring you out.” (We both proceed to the cash register, where she purchases the two lotions and the tote bag.) Me: “Alright, that’s going to come to $61.77 after tax.” (The woman goes to swipe her card when her daughter comes up to the register, adding a $6 lip gloss to her purchase. The woman nods, and I ring it through as well.) Me: “And the new total is going to be $36.21.” Customer: “Why did the price go down so much?!” Me: “…Seriously?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:38 pm Post #15525 |
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Why We Can’t Have Nice Things Library | Fernie, British Columbia, Canada (I was sitting behind the counter drinking coffee when a woman walked up to me.) Me: “Hello, miss! How can I help you today?” Customer: “Give me that!” Me: “Um, what?” Customer: *points to my coffee cup* “Give me that! You don’t deserve it. Only rich people like me deserve coffee and tea!” Me: *sighing and pointing towards the coffee machine* “Miss, if you want some coffee you just need to show me your library card, and you can get some from there.” Customer: *whips her card out and glares at me* “Here! Now give me your g**d**n coffee!” (I point to the machine again, then go back to my book and coffee. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her run to the coffee machine, grab the full coffee pot and run out the door.) Me: “HEY! Give that back!” Customer: *shouting behind her while running out the door* “You don’t deserve it, you poor little b****!” (Later on, another library patron who had seen it all came up to me. He told me how the same woman had stolen roses from his flower shop, and said that it was because no one else deserved them.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:38 pm Post #15526 |
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vLove On A Budget Retail | Southington, CT, USA Me: “Can i help you find something?” Customer: “I want to get a Nintendo DS for my grandson.” Me: “Alright, they’re $129. What color would you like?” Customer: “They’re how much?! I love him, but not that much!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:39 pm Post #15527 |
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Steam Cleaner On Elm Street Retail | Phoenix, AZ, USA Customer: ”Can you show me where the carpet cleaning stuff is?” Me: ”Sure, right here.” *leads him to the aisle* Customer: ”Which one is good for getting blood out of carpet?” Me: “Well, this brand works well for spots. How much blood are we talkin’ here?” Customer: ”About a bucket full…” Me: “You may want to rent a carpet cleaner…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:41 pm Post #15528 |
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Numa Numa Meets The Beaches Of Normandy Retail | Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, Canada (I overheard two cashiers talking about World of Warcraft while an older female customer and her husband approached them.) Cashier #1: “My guild went on a big raid last night but didn’t complete it.” Cashier #2: “You weren’t able to kill the boss?” Cashier #1: “No, the boss was really tough to kill; we’re going to try again tomorrow.” Customer: *to husband* “We should call a manager–I can’t believe these kids are talking about killing their boss!” Cashier #2: “Oh no, ma’am, it’s a video game called World of Warcraft. You go on adventures to kill monsters, and the big ones are called ‘bosses’.” Customer: “I don’t care about your ‘World War’ game. No wonder there is so much violence in this world - video games teaching kids to kill their bosses!” Cashier #1: “It’s not ‘World War,’ ma’am, it’s World of Warcraft, and it’s not teaching us violence…” Customer: “I don’t care what it’s called. My husband fought in a real world war and he can tell you, violence is not a game! Right, Richard? Customer’s husband: *distracted* “Huh?” Customer: “Forget it. C’mon, we’re never coming back to this place. One of these kids is bound to shoot the place up.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:41 pm Post #15529 |
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I Say Tomato, You Say Purple Shtinkelfurter Health Food Shop | Leeds, UK Customer: “Hey, do you have any of them Red Rushkies?” Coworker: “Sorry?” Customer: “You know, Red Rushkies?” Coworker: “Err… no, I’m sorry. I don’t think we stock those.” Customer: “Yeah you do, I buy them here all the time! Where are they?” Coworker: “I’m sorry, we don’t have anything called ‘Red Rushkies’ here.” Customer: *sighs* “I’ll find them myself.” (There’s a pause of a few minutes, and then the customer comes back with a bag of raw peanuts.) Customer: “There you go!” Coworker: “Oh! Peanuts?” Customer: “Yeah! That’s what I said!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:42 pm Post #15530 |
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Jonesin’ For Some Pepperoni Pizza | British Columbia, Canada (An older lady called in to comment about the sauce of one of our most popular pizzas.) Customer: “It’s as though you people put crack in it!” Me: *laughs* “It is pretty good…” Customer: “So, do you?” Me: “Do we… what?” Customer: “Put crack in it.” Me: “…are you asking if we put cocaine in our pizza sauce?” Customer: “Yes!” Me: “No. I’m pretty sure they stopped putting drugs like that into food and medicine by the 1940s.” Customer: “Oh. Really? Because it would explain a lot. I just can’t stop eating this pizza!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:43 pm Post #15531 |
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Stairway To Nowhere Bookstore | Pleasant Hill, CA, USA Customer: “Excuse me, but I can’t seem to find the stairs to your second floor.” Me: “Ah, well ma’am, that’s probably because we don’t have a second floor.” Customer: “Yes you do, I’ve shopped here for 5 years. I’ve been to your second floor several times. If you look at this store from the outside, you can see that it’s big enough to house a second floor.” Me: “But there are no windows to show the second floor. No ma’am, we have that high ceiling instead. We never had a second floor. Customer: “YES YOU DO! Now stop screwing around with me and tell me where it is!” Manager: *overhearing this conversation* “Ma’am, I’ve worked here since our store opened 10 years ago. We’ve NEVER had a second floor.” Customer: “You’re lying! Tell me where the stairs are or I’m going to report your behavior to your corporate offices!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:43 pm Post #15532 |
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On The Politically Proper Placement of Puzzles Gift Shop | Mesa, AZ, USA Customer: “THIS STORE IS RACIST! YOU ARE RACIST!” Me: *confused* “Um… why?” Customer: “Your Native American puzzles are on the bottom shelf! I demand to speak to your manager! Me: “Okay, go ahead. I’m the manager on duty.” Customer: “This is an insult to me that your Native American puzzles are on the lower shelf. This is racism!” Me: “So, I’m a racist because the Native American puzzles are on the bottom shelf…” (I look at the shelf and notice some animal puzzles on the very bottom shelf.) Me: “Well, I hope PETA doesn’t find these puppy puzzles down here then.” Customer: *storms off* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:44 pm Post #15533 |
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Coming Soon: Laptop Loofas Electronics Store | Philadelphia, PA, USA Customer #1: “This cell phone doesn’t work anymore. I want you to replace it.” Me: “When did it stop working?” Customer #1: “After I brought it in the shower.” Me: “If it got wet, it’s probably not going to work at all, and it won’t be covered by the warranty.” Customer #1: “I don’t understand. If it doesn’t work anymore, you’re supposed to replace it. It should work in the shower.” Me: “Well, no. Like any piece of electronics, it’s not going to work if you get it wet. Would you bring your laptop in the shower?” Customer #2: *interjecting* “I bring my laptop into the shower all the time.” Me: *facepalm* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:45 pm Post #15534 |
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Books On Surveillance Tape Library | Allentown, PA, USA Me: “**** Library, how can I help you?” Caller: “Yes, I have some books that are due tomorrow, but I need to keep them longer.” Me: “Okay, ma’am. I’ll need your name so I can renew the books.” Caller: *scandalized* “You need my what?” Me: “Your name, ma’am. So I can call up your account on my computer.” Caller: “You have my account?! How did you get that? Do you have my Social Security number?” Me: “No, ma’am. I mean your library account. When you came in to get your library card, you filled out a form with your name, address, phone number, and email, so that we can contact you if you ever have overdue books. We don’t have your social security number.” Caller: “Well, I’m not giving out my name to a complete stranger over the phone!” Me: “Okay, ma’am. Perhaps you could give me the titles of the books?” Caller: “Why do you need to know what I’m reading?! The books are due tomorrow! Just renew them!” Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but there’s no way I can look up books by the due date. Without your name or the titles of the books, I can’t help you.” Caller: “You’re trying to steal my identity! I’m calling the cops.” Me: *giving up* “You do that, ma’am.” *hangs up* Co-worker: “You should have told her we put cameras in the books.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:46 pm Post #15535 |
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Chez Cinema Movie Theater | Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada (Note: we’re in a movie theater.) Customer: “So, you guys got, like, showers here and everything?” Me: “No, we don’t.” Customer: *looking revolted* “Gross! So you guys just don’t wash?” Me: “Well, not here, but when we’re at home, yes.” Customer: “So you guys don’t have, like, rooms here or nothin’?” Me: “No, sir, we don’t live at the movie theater.” Customer: “THAT’S THE DUMBEST THING I EVER HEARD! *stomps off* Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:46 pm Post #15536 |
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Lenin, Inc. Movie Theater | Annapolis, MD, USA Customer: “You only have two showings of American Carol! That’s just plain un-American! You’re all d**ned communists.” Me: “I’m sorry sir, but it wasn’t selling well so we had to split it with another movie.” Customer: “No - it’s because you’re g**d**n commies.” Me: “No, sir, that’s actually capitalism. We move the movies that don’t sell well to less show times so as to maximize profits. Customer: “No, capitalism is American and no real American would move a movie down just because it wasn’t making money!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:49 pm Post #15537 |
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The Tiny Flaw In An Otherwise Brilliant Plan Retail | Marietta, GA, USA (I work at customer service and this lady could not return a lamp because it was past our 90-day return policy.) Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, the transaction for the lamp does not show up on your credit card. Has it been more than 90 days?” Customer: “No, I dont think so! Try it again.” (I try two more times and sure enough, the same thing happens.) Me: “Ma’am, if you bought the lamp more than 90 days ago, it does not show up in our system anymore. We can do a store credit return if you would like, but you would get the lowest price which is about $3 less.” Customer: “Fine. It was 92 days ago! Now can I return it?” Me: “I cannot do that. That purchase is not in our system anymore and the computer will only allow me to give you store credit at that price.” (A long argument ensues and I tell her the same things.) Customer: “Well, you know what? I’m going to buy this lamp again and then use THAT receipt to return it!” Me: “Why would you want to do that? You would technically own two and then you’re returning one. It makes no difference.” Customer: “Then I’ll buy a NEW one and use that receipt to return my broken one!” Me: “I cannot allow you to do that. I am the supervisor and would have to report that sort of potential activity to our store security and managers.” Customer: “How did you know what I’m going to do?!” Me: “…um, because you just told me?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:50 pm Post #15538 |
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Unlimited Food, Limited Intelligence Restaurant | Delaware, USA (I’ve just served the customers their unlimited salad bowl…) Customer: “Well, where’s my salad?” Me: “The bowl on the table is for everyone to share. That’s why I brought everyone their own salad plates.” Customer: “Yes, but where is my bowl of salad? Don’t I get my own?” Me: “Well, it’s supposed to be served family style where everyone eats from the same bowl.” Customer: “So, they are trying to cheat me out of my salad.” Me: “Well, it’s an unlimited salad bowl so you get unlimited free refills.” Customer: *turns to his wife* “See, that’s where they get you. There’s always a catch…” Me: “Just let me know if you need more salad…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:54 pm Post #15539 |
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With Thought, Care And Testosterone Conference Center | Rockaway Beach, OR, USA Female Conference Attendee: “Where’s the cook? This food is amazing, and I want to give my regards to the cook.” Me: “That’s great to hear - if you wait a moment, I’ll get him out of the back.” (I return with the cook.) Me: “This is ****, and he is our head cook.” Attendee: *looking behind the head cook* “No, seriously - where’s the cook? I need to talk with her.” Cook: “Ma’am, I am the cook. How can I help you?” Attendee: *looking askance* “You are NOT the cook. You cannot BE the cook. The food here is so wonderful, so full of love - it MUST be cooked by a woman.” Cook: “All right, you caught us. The real cook has her day off today. We’ll thank her when she gets back tomorrow.” Attendee: “Yes, you will.” *muttering as she walks away* “Men who cook…sheesh.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 23, 2009 5:55 pm Post #15540 |
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Pre-Pre-Pre-School School | California, USA Me: *on the phone* “Good afternoon, this is **** School.” Caller: “Hi, I need to see if I can get my son into your school?” Me: “All right, that’s easy. Come over anytime next week, when we’ll be taking applications.” Caller: “Can you fax it to me?” Me: “No, I can’t, but you can print it out from our website, along with all the information there. Is that Ok?” Caller: “Yeah…” Me: “We only accept applicants for 7th through 9th grade from this school district, just to let you know.” Caller: “Oh, what is your district?” Me: “**** high school district.” Caller: “Oh, where is that?” Me: “**** and its neighboring cities.” Caller: “Oh. That’s where we’re moving.” Me: “You don’t live in the district?” Caller: “No, we live in New Jersey. We’re going to move to California so my son can go there.” Me: “…ma’am, I’m afraid that you need to live within the district to put in an application.” Caller: “Yes, we’re moving there.” Me: “You need to be in the district when you put in the application.” Caller: “When are applications due?” Me: “They’re due the third week of January through the second week of February.” Caller: “Oh. We’re not moving for a little while.” Me: “Yes…you need a copy of a gas or electricity bill so we can verify your address is in the district. If I may ask, ma’am, what grade is your son in?” Caller: “Oh, he doesn’t go to school.” Me: “…” Caller: “My son will be one year old in a few weeks!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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