 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,261 Views) | |
| Gummy | Fri May 22, 2009 6:36 pm Post #15281 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Fri May 22, 2009 6:37 pm Post #15282 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Fri May 22, 2009 6:37 pm Post #15283 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Fri May 22, 2009 6:37 pm Post #15284 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 22, 2009 6:44 pm Post #15285 |
 
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I’m Afraid You Can’t Spell, Dave Grocery Store | Los Angeles, CA, USA (I was monitoring the customers at the self-checkout machines when a customer holding a cilantro angrily waved me over.) Me: “Sir, what seems to be the problem?” Customer: “These machines are so useless! They don’t even have cilantro under the look-up list!” Me: “Sir, it’s because you’re looking under ‘S’ instead of ‘C’ - cilantro is spelled with a ‘C’.” Customer: “Oh, so you’re a know-it-all, huh? We’ll see what you know when these machines take over YOUR job one day!” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 22, 2009 6:45 pm Post #15286 |
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Paranoia In The W.C. Grocery Store | Grayson, KY, USA (I was just about to clean the ladies room, when a female customer walked up to me.) Customer: “Excuse me, how do you lock this door?” Me: “There’s no lock on the door, but there’s stalls in there.” Customer: “But, what if someone tries watching me? I want to know I’m safe from voyeurs.” Me: “I’m pretty sure nobody will be watching.” Customer: “What about the men’s room? Is there a lock over there?” Me: “Well, there’s a stall in there, but there’s two in this one.” Customer: “But, no lock?” Me: “Would it help if I stood guard?” Customer: *now yelling* “Oh? So, you think you can get a little peep show?! Well, I’ll have you know that I won’t tolerate a pervert in my midst! I’ll take my business elsewhere, and you’re getting reported for harassment!” Me: “But, I–” Customer: “Good day!” *storms out* Manager: *listening from his office* “What was that all about?!” Me: “I don’t know.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 22, 2009 6:45 pm Post #15287 |
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This Quote Brought To You By The Number TWO Sales | Burlington, Ontario, Canada Customer: *on the phone* “I know you aren’t tech support, but I have an easy question.” Me: “Ok…” Customer: “How do you make the @ symbol…you know, for the email?” Me: “You hold the shift key and press 2.” Customer: “Won’t that just make a capital 2?” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 22, 2009 6:46 pm Post #15288 |
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All Signs Point To Yes Retail | Vancouver, BC, Canada (A customer is at the refund counter to return a DVD player. I get called over to inspect it, because I work in the electronics department.) Coworker: “Alright, everything seems okay. May I see your receipt?” (The customer hands over her receipt, but it’s dated July. It was November at the time. Our return policy only allows for 45 days.) Coworker: “Ma’am, I cannot give you a refund, because this is from July.” Customer: “But the electronics associate said I can return it anytime!” Coworker: “Do you remember who it was?” Customer: “It was that young man!” *points towards me* Me: “Ma’am, I have never told you such a thing.” Customer: “Yes you did! Are you calling me a liar?!” Me: “Well, I’m just a seasonal worker who got hired two weeks ago, so…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 22, 2009 6:46 pm Post #15289 |
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All Signs Point To Duh Video Game Store | Australia Customer: “I bought these games yesterday, and I don’t want them. I want my money back.” Me: “Sorry, but I can’t give you cash back. I can exchange them for credit so you can choose something else.” Customer: “I was not told that when I bought them.” Me: “Yeah, sorry… but we do have signs up.” *I point to two of these signs* Customer: “Well, I’m illiterate, so I couldn’t know! Now give me my f***ing money!” Me: “As I said, I am sorry, but I can only do it as credit.” Customer: “But, there was no way I could know that when I bought them! I’m illiterate!” Me: “Well, there was no way we could know that when you bought them. Perhaps you could get a sign?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 22, 2009 6:47 pm Post #15290 |
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All Signs Point To No Smoothie Shop | Oregon, USA (A customer pulls up and parks in a handicapped spot in front of the store.) Me: “How can I help you?” Customer: “I’ll take a fresh squeezed orange juice.” Me: “Oh, I’m sorry sir, we just cleaned our juicer and the chemical that we use had to dry or else it’s toxic. We won’t be able to squeeze any juice until tomorrow.” Customer: “What the f***? This is the second time this has happened.” Me: “Well, we clean it a half hour before we close–” Customer: “You should put up a sign!” Me: “Oh, um. Well, I’ll mention that to my manager–” Customer: “PUT UP A SIGN!” Me: “Sir, I don’t have the authority to do that, but I’ll–” Customer: “JUST PUT UP A SIGN!” Me: “Oh, and you’re parked in a handicapped zone.” Customer: “THEY SHOULD–” Me: “Yes, they have a sign up, sir.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 22, 2009 6:47 pm Post #15291 |
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Perhaps Multiple Choice Might Be Easier Pharmacy | Sydney, Australia Customer: “I’m after some cold and flu medication.” Me: “Sure, do you take any other medication?” Customer: “Um… no… I don’t thi-… wait, yes, but it’s… actually no, no, I don’t.” Me: “Okay then, and are you allergic to anything?” Customer: “God, this is too hard!” *storms out* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 22, 2009 6:48 pm Post #15292 |
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Surely, One Missed Anatomy Class Can’t Hurt… Pharmacy | Seattle, WA, USA (A woman walks in with her daughter one afternoon.) Me: “Hello, how can I help you?” Customer: “There’s something wrong with my daughter.” Me: “Oh?” Customer: “Her eyes keep closing on their own!” Me: “…ma’am, that’s called blinking.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 22, 2009 6:49 pm Post #15293 |
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It Burns When I Download Tech Support | Spokane, WA, USA Caller: “I’m having trouble downloading pictures in your program. My camera doesn’t appear in the list.” (I ask him some questions and determine that his camera is not compatible with our software.) Me: “I’m sorry, it looks as though you’ll have to download your pictures using the software that came with your camera. What program do you normally use?” Caller: “Chlamydia.” Me: “I’m sorry, what was that?” Caller: “I usually download my pictures in Chlamydia.” Me: *stifling laugh* “Go into your start menu and read me the name of the program very carefully.” Caller: “Ok, it says cam-ee-dee-uh.” Me: “Oh, Camedia…” (I keep it together and manage to wrap up the call.) Me: “Thank you for calling *** technical support. Is there anything else I can do for you?” Caller: “Nope, I’ll just dowload my pictures in Chlamydia then. Thanks!” *click* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 22, 2009 6:50 pm Post #15294 |
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A Penny Saved Is A Penny Spurned Grocery Store | Charlotte, NC, USA (I worked at a upscale grocery store. We had recently ordered new price labels for the shelves and some of them had come in with the wrong price. We had turned these tags backwards on the shelves so that they could not be seen by the customers to prevent confusion.) Customer: “Excuse me, son. Me: “Yes ma’am, how can I help you?” Customer: “The milk is marked a different price than this tag says.” Me: “I am sorry about that ma’am, those are new tags and some of them have old prices on them. If you give it to me I’ll take care of it.” (Customer hands me the tag, I place it on the mount backwards so it cannot be read without removing it.) Customer: “What are you doing?” Me: “We have been placing all the incorrect tags backwards on the shelves so that when the manager does his walk around he can know which ones he needs to re-order.” Customer: “Well it was like that before. That’s why I turned it around.” Me: “Ahh… I’m sorry for the confusion. These tags are backwards because they are incorrect. The price marked on the items is the correct one.” Customer: “But I want the price on the tag, it’s less.” Me: “Ma’am there is only one cent difference.” Customer: “Yes, and I want it for the cheaper price.” Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am I am only a clerk, I can’t change the price for you. If you would like, I can get the manager.” Customer: “This is ridiculous! You have to give me the cheaper price. I can’t afford to be nickel and dimed by you thieves.” Me: “Ma’am, as I told you, I will get the manager and he can give you the discount.” Customer: “Good, cause I can’t afford to pay the higher price.” (Manager has hear the commotion and walks up behind the customer.) Manager: ”Ma’am, is there an issue?” Customer: “Yes, your clerk is trying to charge me more for this than the tag says it should cost.” Manager: “Ma’am, that tag was reversed because it was incorrect. How much is the difference so I can tell the cashier when you check out?” Customer: “The shelf says $2.12, but the bottle says $2.13.” Manager: “You called me over here over one cent? You have $400 worth of steaks in your cart, and you call me over here because you have to pay one cent extra for your milk?” Customer: “Yes.” (Manager hands the customer a penny and walks off.) Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 22, 2009 6:51 pm Post #15295 |
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A Bag Of Chipocrisy Grocery Store | Canton, MA, USA Customer: “Excuse me, do you work here?” Me: “Yes miss, what can I help you with?” Customer: “I just found this opened bag of chips sitting on the counter.” Me: “Oh, thank you, I’ll take that.” Customer: *still holding the bag* “Isn’t it so inconsiderate of people to just open up the food and eat it in the store?” Me: *laughing* “Yeah, it really is.” Customer: “Oh well, here you go.” (She then sticks her hand in the bag, pulls out a handful of chips, hands me the bag, and then walks away.) Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 22, 2009 6:51 pm Post #15296 |
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Methinks His Digital Mistress Was Sabotaged Tech Support | Muskegon, MI, USA Customer: “My husband spilled a milkshake on his laptop’s keyboard.” Me: “Okay, well it appears that you have our accidental service plan, so let’s get you squared away and get this laptop fixed.” Customer: “Oh, that’s great! when will it be back?” Me: “Two to four weeks.” Customer: “Oh, that’s not good.” Me: “Why?” Customer: “Do you give loaners?” Me: “No, I’m afraid we do not.” Customer: “Great! You mean he wont be able to watch his porn then?!” Me: *blank look* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 22, 2009 6:52 pm Post #15297 |
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He’ll Raise The Dead And Validate Your Parking Optometrist | Toronto, Ontario, Canada (A woman comes in to my clinic with her 6-year-old daughter and approaches the receptionist.) Customer: “Hi, I need my daughter’s eyes fixed.” Employee: “Sorry?” Customer: “My daughter. She’s blind. I need you to fix it.” Employee: “Oh, um…is she totally blind? Can’t see a thing? How about light?” Customer: “No, she’s completely blind.” Employee: “I’m sorry ma’am, I don’t think we can help you. How long has she been this way?” Customer: “Oh, all her life. She was born blind.” Employee: “…why didn’t you look for help earlier?” Customer: “DON’T TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILDREN, MISSY!” (After listening in on the conversation, I decide step in.) Me: “Is there a problem here?” Customer: *pulls her daughter’s arm* “Yes. My daughter is blind and you need to fix it.” Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but there’s really nothing we can do. We don’t treat things like that here.” Customer: “NO! You call yourself an eye doctor! You must be able to fix her, and you WILL!” Me: “Like I said, I can’t do that.” Customer: “Well, god**** you all to h***! I’m going somewhere that will actually help us!” Me: “Ask Jesus, I heard he was good at that.” Customer: *storms out* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 22, 2009 6:52 pm Post #15298 |
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I Hear The Gossip Columns Are Juicy Grocery Store | Towson, MD, USA (A customer walks in with a very full backpack.) Customer: “Hi, I’d like to trade you.” Me: “Um, we don’t actually trade things, we sell food.” Customer: “Well, I’ve got this whole bag of stuff for you.” (He opens the bag and shows me magazines, forks, and spoons.) Me: “Sir, you have to use money to buy the food.” Customer: “Let me talk to your manager.” (I call the manager, who walks over.) Customer: “Come on, man. This magazine must be worth at least…carrots.” Manager: “Here’s a trade for you: money for food.” Customer: *walks out* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 22, 2009 6:53 pm Post #15299 |
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Walking A Thin Line Retail | New York, USA Customer: “Excuse me, miss - what size are you?” Me: “Excuse me?” Customer: “I want to buy these pants for my granddaughter, my dear, and she’s about your size.” Me: “Oh, well…the jeans I’m wearing right now are from this store, and they’re a size 4.” Customer: “WELL! She is certainly not that fat!” Me: “Um, well, sometimes people carry their weight differently. Perhaps she would fit in a size 2 better?” Customer: “My dear, I didn’t mean to offend you - you’re not too fat. My granddaughter is small. And a big hussy. That’s why I want to buy her new pants. She looks like such a tramp.” Me: “…” Customer: “I suppose maybe I’ll just buy her a blouse instead.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri May 22, 2009 6:54 pm Post #15300 |
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Ben’s OK, Jerry’s Gone Nuts Ice Cream Shop | Colorado, USA Me: “Can I help you?” Customer: “I would like your biggest cup of pecan ice cream.” (I serve it up and continue with the rest of the customers. About 15 minutes later, the same guy shows up.) Customer: “There’s something wrong with this ice cream. It’s more nuts than it is anything else!” (I look down and see there’s only 2 bites of ice cream left.) Me: “I’m sorry - I’d be happy to give you another flavor if you’d like.” Customer: “This is ridiculous - do you make the ice cream yourself?” Me: “We do make it right here every day.” Customer: “No, I mean do YOU make it?” Me: “No, we have people in charge of making the ice cream.” Customer: “You should really try the ice cream before you give it out to people, to warn them.” Me: “…so what ice cream would you like instead?” Customer: “I’ll take the peanut butter one.” Me: “I’ve tried that one and it’s made with real peanuts. You might encounter the same problem.” Customer: “Did I ask you for your opinion on it?” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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