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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,294 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:00 pm Post #14621 |
 
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I Sense Another Frivolous Lawsuit, Part 2 Department Store | El Paso, TX, USA (My checkout is right at the top of the escalators, with four kids ranging in age from about 7-13 were playing on them.) Me: “Guys, please don’t play on the escalators, you could get hurt.” (The kids go away for all of a minute, then return.) Me: “I asked you to please stop playing on the escalator.” (A woman emerges from a display a few yards away.) Customer: “Don’t tell my kids what to do!” Me: “Ma’am, then please keep them away from the escalators, its dangerous.” Customer: “Don’t tell me what to do!” (Just then, one of her little kids falls down the escalator.) Me: “You were saying, ma’am?” Customer: *storms off* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:02 pm Post #14622 |
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I Sense Another Frivolous Lawsuit Video Rental | Seattle, WA, USA (A woman calls in, telling me that she rented Good Luck Chuck for her young son’s sleepover without watching the movie first. She showed the movie to a party of young boys, and then had to call their parents to apologize.) Woman: “I need to know how I can prevent this from happening in the future.” Me: “Well, if you bring the movie up to the counter, chances are that somebody has seen the movie, and if they haven’t we can point you in the direction of a movie that would be appropriate.” Woman: “This movie says ‘unrated.’ It should be okay!” Me: “Actually, ‘unrated’ means that things have been put into the movie that couldn’t be shown in theaters.” Woman: “What? I’ve seen CARTOONS that are unrated.” (I assume she’s talking about ‘not rated,’ but decide that telling her that there’s a difference will just make her angrier.) Me: “Well, if you flip over and read the back of the movie, under the rating it will tell you what it is rated that for–” Woman, sounding angry: “Yeah, I know, I read it. It says, ‘Nudity, Strong Sexual Content, Drug Use, and Adult Language.’ EVERY movie has that.” Me: “I’m sorry about the misunderstanding. All I can suggest is that if you’re not sure, you can bring the movie up to the counter and we can help you. Would you like me to put a free movie on your account?” Woman: “I don’t think you should even carry this movie on your shelves, it’s disgusting.” Me: “I’m sorry, we only get what Corporate sends us.” Woman: “Who can I complain to?” Me: “All I can do is put a free movie on your account for the inconvenience. Our company gets the movies with the ratings from the production companies–” Woman: “How can I call the production companies?” Me: “Um, I guess you could search for them on Google?” Woman: “Good, I am going to call the production company right now and complain.” Me, trying desperately not to laugh: “Okay, I’m really sorry for the inconvenience, have a nice night.” (She hung up the phone and I immediately burst out laughing–apparently a label saying, “UNRATED - CHUCKED UP EDITION,” in giant letters, as well as all of the warnings on the back and just the plot of the movie are not enough warning. Does she want us to put up a sign saying, “DO NOT RENT THIS MOVIE FOR YOUR SON’S SLEEPOVER?”) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:02 pm Post #14623 |
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Perhaps The Wolves Are Still Available To Babysit Tonight… Bookstore | Fairbanks, AK, USA Customer: *with child in tow* “Excuse me, do you work here?” Me: “Yes, can I help you find something?” Customer: “There’s no one in your children’s department.” Me: “Ma’am?” Customer: “There’s usually one of you people in the kids’ department.” Me: “Yes…our lead Children’s Zoning person called out today…” Customer: “Well then, just who is supposed to watch the children?” Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, what do you mean?” Customer: “Who’s going to watch the children? I leave my little girl over there while I shop, and I expect someone to watch her.” Me: “…” Customer: In your children’s department. The DAYCARE.” Me: “Ma’am…we don’t have a daycare…” Customer: “…” *walks away* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:03 pm Post #14624 |
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VIP: Very Irritating Person Office | New York, NY, USA Me: “Thank you for calling ****. How may I direct your call?” Caller: “I’m in a meeting.” Me: “Excuse me?” Caller: “I’m in a meeting.” Me: “Sir, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Caller: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m in a meeting.” Me: “Sir, you called me.” Caller: “Yes, I called to let you know I’m in a meeting.” Me: “…” *hangs up* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:03 pm Post #14625 |
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An Unsalvageable Lie Retail | Ottawa, Canada Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this. *hands me a metal, foot-operated garbage bin* Me: “Sure, I’ll need the receipt please.” Customer: “I don’t have it.” Me: “OK, is there any reason why you’re returning it?” Customer: “Yeah, my wife didn’t want it.” Me: “Did you use it?” Customer: “No.” (I open it to find an old dirty sock.) Me: “Sir, I can’t take this. There’s a dirty sock in there.” Customer: “That was already in there.” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:04 pm Post #14626 |
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You Say To-mah-to, I Say Pot-tah-to Garden Store | Santa Barbara, CA, USA Me: “Thank you for calling [garden store], this is ***. How can I help you today?” Caller: “Yeah, i have mites on my, uh… tomato plants. I need something to put on them to kill the mites” Me: “Well, sir, we have many different types of sprays and powders for bug eradication that can work.” Caller: “I need something that can work indoors.” Me: “Indoors? Like a greenhouse? Because the products we have are all natural and can be used in a greenhouse.” Caller: “I mean indoors like in my house. I don’t want to use a spray in the closet in my room.” Me: “Sir, you’re growing tomatoes in your closet?” Customer “Uh, yeah… so what can I use?” Me: “Well, we have a powder made of diatomes you can use to kill the mites, and you can still eat the tomatoes without any issue. It’s all natural and perfectly safe.” Caller: “That sounds good, but… umm, what if I were to smoke the tomato plant? Would that still be safe?” (I finally realize he’s NOT really talking about tomatoes.) Me: “Umm, sir, tomato plants are part of the nightshade family and are actually poisonous if ingested. I wouldn’t recommend smoking them or eating the plant itself. Just the tomato.” Caller: “But, if I had a plant that was smokeable, i could use the powder stuff and it would be okay?” Me: “Yeah, just make sure you wash it good before you um… smoke it… as you would with any home-grown vegetables and fruits.” Caller: “You’re sure? Because i don’t wanna die for smoking something i’m not supposed to.” Me: “Then make sure you aren’t smoking the tomato plants in your closet and you’ll be fine. Have a nice day!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:04 pm Post #14627 |
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Old School Hustlers Bookstore | Burnsville, MN, USA (A customer approaches the bookstore counter with an adult magazine.) Customer 2, from behind Customer 1: “What’s the matter, don’t you have a computer?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:05 pm Post #14628 |
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Just Add Water Pet Store | North Carolina, USA (I work in a pet store that does not sell live feeder mice. We only sell frozen feeder mice that come four a container.) Customer: “Excuse me?” Me: “Yes, ma’am. What can I help you with?” Customer: “I have a question about these feeder mice. If I unfreeze them, will they come back to life?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:06 pm Post #14629 |
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When Men Were Men & Electronics Were Multi-Taskers Electronics Store | British Columbia, Canada (A mother and son are finishing up their purchase.) Me: “Will that be all for you guys today?” Customer: “Well…do you have meetings here with your staff? Like ones where everyone can talk?” Me: “Sometimes…” Customer: “I want you to tell them I don’t like these new TVs, the flat screens and the plasmas. I want the old TVs back. You should tell them that.” Me: “The old TVs?” Customer: “I remember when TVs were like furniture. You could use them to put a plant on, or a lamp, and they were square and wood-paneled. TVs were better then.” Son: “Mom, I like the new plasma and LCD TVs. They’re really cool!” Customer: “No! They aren’t! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” *to me* “Now, you lady, you should tell them that for me! Tell them I want furniture back! And I’m not the only one!” (She then proceeded to walk around the store, going off about technology, and how the old stuff was better. Her poor son was embarrassed the whole time.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:07 pm Post #14630 |
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Lowest Common Denominator: Found Restaurant | Everly, IA, USA (This exchange happened between two co-workers.) Waitress: “I need a fourth of a chicken to go, please.” Cook: “OK, a quarter chicken it is!” Waitress: “NO! I ASKED FOR A FOURTH!” Cook: “A quarter and a fourth are the same thing.” Waitress: “Oh…is there another word for a half?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:08 pm Post #14631 |
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You Get Who You Pay For Customer Service | Philadelphia, PA, USA Me: “Thank you for calling ****, how can I help you?” Customer: “I’d like to dispute a charge on my bill.” Me: “Yes, certainly. Which charge would you like to dispute?” Customer: “There should be a charge on February 22nd for $2000.” Me: “The one for ‘Gentlemen’s Club’?” Customer: “Yes, that’s the one I’d like to dispute.” Me: “And what’s the reason for the dispute?” Customer: “…do you need to know?” Me: “Without a reason, we cannot submit a proper dispute.” Customer: “Um…OK, well, it was a business trip…and, um…I wanted to hire…um…an escort for a client. Not for me, for a client! For the night. And we weren’t pleased with her, um, services. Which isn’t to say that she didn’t provide services! I’m just saying that it wasn’t the service we…well, the service we…. It wasn’t what we expected.” Me: “…all right. I’ll transfer you to our disputes department for further assistance.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:08 pm Post #14632 |
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Someone’s About To Get Smacked To The Future Retail | Rio Rancho, NM, USA Coworker: “Yes, miss. I understand it’s an emergency, But let me ask my coworker. He probably knows what your looking for!” Me: “What’s going on?” Coworker: “This woman was sent in looking for an item. She said it’s called a … a … something capacitor.” Me: “Well, we don’t really carry any capacitors here. That’s more of a true electronics store thing.” Customer: “Please, it’s my son’s birthday and my husband says that we desperately need to find a 120 volt flux capacitor for my son’s Xbox!” Me: “Ma’am, unless you have a Mr. Fusion, I don’t know where you’re gonna need something like that.” Customer: “What do you mean? My husband said this was an emergency! I have been to 3 stores and no one knows what I’m talking about!” Me: *laughs* “Well, your husband sent you for a part to a time machine.” Customer: “I am going to kill that man!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:09 pm Post #14633 |
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Now Serving: Poopsicles Grocery Store | Scottsdale, AZ, USA (Note: we’re nearby a retirement community. An old man who looks lost wanders into our grocery store.) Me: “Can I help you, sir?” Old man: “Yes, I’m looking for the bathroom… oh, here it is!” (He opens a freezer door and proceeds to pull down his pants.) Me: “SIR, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” (The old man takes a dump right in the freezer.) Old man: “That’s cold… where’s the toilet paper?” Me: “I really, really, really need a break!” (Sadly, this is not the first time this has happened.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:10 pm Post #14634 |
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America’s Debt Crisis Explained, Part 2 Deli | Illinois, USA Customer: “Um, this sign out here says $5.98 for a pound of turkey.” Me: “Well, sir, if you look at your sticker, you’ll see that it is actually $3.98 a pound this week.” Customer: “But, it says that it’s $5.98 a pound. You need to fix this, and you need to fix the price on my turkey.” Me: “Sir, the turkey is on sale this week. You got it for $3.98 a pound, instead of $5.98.” Customer: “Well, this is just ridiculous. You guys need to get your act straight, and you need to fix my sticker!” Me: “You’re getting it for cheaper.” Customer: *light bulb goes on* “Ohhhhhhh!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:10 pm Post #14635 |
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America’s Debt Crisis, Explained Credit Card Customer Service | Tampa, FL, USA Me: “Thank you for calling cardholder service, how may I help you?” Customer: “You sent me a bill. Why?” Me: “May I please have your card number?” Customer: “I threw it away when the balance was gone.” Me: “Um… can I have your social security number?” Customer: *gives number* Me: “I show your current balance is $10,027.31, due on 07/25/2008. Would you like to make a payment today so you do not get a late fee?” Customer: “What do you mean? Why did you send me a bill?” Me: “Sir, because you purchased those items you are required to repay the account.” Customer: “No. You gave me the money, so I spent it.” Me: “A credit card is a short term loan. You are required to pay it back.” Customer: “No, I’m not!” *click* (This is the third call like this in the past month.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:12 pm Post #14636 |
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Ah, College, Part 2 Bar | Iowa, USA (I’m a bouncer in a college bar where you must be 21. Lots of underage people try coming in with fake IDs.) Me: “Can I see your ID?” College student: “Yeah…” (He hands me an ID that says he is 20.) Me: “Um, you are only 20.” College student: “Yeah, you can read a birthday! Can I go in now?” Me: “You have to be 21 to get in.” College student: “Oh… *hands me a fake ID* “…how about now?” Me: “Now you just lost your fake ID.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:12 pm Post #14637 |
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Ah, College University Library | Durham, NH, USA Female student: *runs through the university library lobby wearing only a string bikini top, hot pants, and loud flip-flops* Coworker: “I guess she’s in a hurry.” Me: “Maybe somebody found her shirt…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:14 pm Post #14638 |
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I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me Log In Tech Support | Florida, USA Me: “Thanks for calling ****. This is ****, how may I help you?” Customer: “When I try to change my password, I’m typing and it’s just making stars.” Me: “OK…that’s normal. It’s a security feature to prevent someone standing behind you from seeing what you’re typing.” Customer: “But there’s no one standing behind me…” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:15 pm Post #14639 |
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Looks Real Good, Hurts Real Bad Jewelry Store | Puerto Rico (I had a bag of large crystal beads salvaged from a chandelier. The beads were the size of my palm and very heavy. As I put them away in one of my bead boxes, a teenage girl walked up to my booth at a craft fair.) Girl: “Hi! I love your stuff! Do you do custom orders?” Me: “Yes, I do! Here, look through some of these bead boxes and tell me what you like.” Girl: “Okay!” (She looks though some boxes and gasps as she discovers the large crystal beads.) Girl: “I love these! Can you make a pair of earrings with these?!” Me: “Oh! Ha ha, those beads are for a lamp I’m making. They’re too heavy to use as earrings. May I interest you in a much smaller and lighter version of those beads?” Girl: “NO! I want these! They’re so pretty and…bling-bling!” Me: “Your piercings would sag if you wore those. Let me–” Girl: “No! I’m the customer and this is what I want!” Me: *sighing* “Fine. Come back in a few minutes, and I’ll have them done. It’ll be $12.” (The girl looks at some other booths while I make her earrings. She returns, asks for her earrings, and pays for them.) Girl: *putting on earrings “I love them! Thank you so much!” Me: “Okay. Thank you, and remember what I said about the beads.” Girl: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. The beads are like crazy light!” (The girl leaves, looking ridiculous with the earrings, but then returns about half an hour later.) Girl: “My ears are killing me!” Me: “I told you the beads were too heavy, but you still wanted them!” Girl: “It’s not the beads, it’s the wire! I must be allergic to it.” Me: “There’s no need to yell. I use hypoallergenic materials in all my pieces. There’s no way you can be allergic to it. It’s because the beads are too heavy. I can give you a refund, but you have to give me the earrings back.” Girl: “No! It must be the glass, then. I’m allergic to the glass! What kind of glass is this?” Me: “…allergic to glass? Have you ever heard of the phrase ‘with beauty comes pain’? Well, this explains it.” Girl: “Oh! I get it now! Wow, if it hurts this much I must look A-MA-ZING! *skips off* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 8:16 pm Post #14640 |
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Veni Vidi Visa: I Came, I Saw, I Went Home & Bought Computer Store | Lawrenceville, NJ, USA Customer: “I definitely think I want to buy this laptop.” Me: “That’s great, sir. If you just wait here, I can run back and get it for you right now.” Customer: “Oh, thanks, that would be great. And I also read something on your website about free shipping.” Me: “Yes…that’s true.” Customer: “So, do I get free shipping?” Me: “Um, that only applies to online orders. There’s no shipping if you buy directly from the store.” Customer: “Why not?” Me: “…because you don’t need anything shipped if you buy it in the store…” Customer: “Well, that’s stupid. Why would anyone buy it in the store when they can get free shipping online?” Me: “Uh…because they’re already at the store…?” Customer: “You know what? I think I’m gonna just go buy it online. And you should probably re-evaluate your free shipping policy. No offense, but it’s kind of stupid.” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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