 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,296 Views) | |
| Gummy | Wed May 20, 2009 3:05 pm Post #14581 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 20, 2009 3:06 pm Post #14582 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 20, 2009 3:06 pm Post #14583 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 20, 2009 3:06 pm Post #14584 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 3:07 pm Post #14585 |
 
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Say What? Fast Food | Minnesota, USA Cashier, to me: “Can you please help me? I have no idea what this guy is saying. Me: “Hi sir, how can I help you?” Customer: “Yeah, I wanna cup of onions and cheese.” Me: “Um, we don’t have that on the menu. Did you just want a side of onions?” Customer: “NO! I want the onions… those little things.” Me: “What do you mean? Did you want a burger with only onions?” Customer: “NO! I want onions and cheese!” Me: “Ok…” *I go to the back and get some onions in a cup* “Is this what you wanted?” Customer: “No. I want a cup of onions and cheese.” Me: “These are the only kind of onions we have here, sir.” Customer: “No. What is this?” *picks up a milk jug* Me: “A jug of milk…” Customer: “Yeah, that’s what I want! What is so hard to understand what I’m saying?” Me: “I don’t know… but those aren’t onions or cheese.” Customer: “It’s a hamburger!” my comment: must be some word-salad thing |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 3:08 pm Post #14586 |
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Zombie Management Office | Torrance, CA, USA Me: *on the phone* “**** Publishing, how can I help you?” Caller: “Is Mr. **** in?” Me: “I’m sorry, Mr. **** passed away last month.” Caller: “Well, when is he coming back?!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 3:08 pm Post #14587 |
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Invisible Incentive Music Store | Burton on Trent, UK (There were a series of compilation albums on release called “Air Guitar Hero”, which had a very tongue-in-cheek advertisement. I had just sold a copy to a customer who returned to the store 10 minutes later.) Me: “Are you OK there?” Customer: “Well, I didn’t get my free air guitar with this CD.” Me: “Excuse me? I’m not sure what you mean.” Customer: “This CD, it’s supposed to come with a free air guitar.” Me: “…” Customer: “On the advertisement, the one on TV. It says comes with free air guitar!” Me: “Um, that’s a joke they made on the advertisement.” Customer: “But it says on the advertisement I get a free air guitar with this album!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 3:09 pm Post #14588 |
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How Is My Excuse? Call 1-800-NOT-ALWAYS-RIGHT Call Center | Seattle, WA, USA Me: *on the phone* “Hi, thanks for calling ****. Can I help you?” Caller: “Yes, I have a complaint about your delivery driver. He was driving too slow, and in the carpool lane.” Me: “How fast was he going?” Caller: “60 miles per hour.” Me: “Well, sir, that is the speed limit. Was he by himself in the carpool lane?” Caller: “No, there were two people.” Me: “So, let me see if I understand. Your complaint is that my delivery driver was following the law?” Caller: “Yes, and I want him fired, or at least reprimanded. He made me late for work!” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 3:10 pm Post #14589 |
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When Stupid People Attack Zoo | New York, NY, USA Customer: “Hey, you!” Me: “How can I help you, ma’am?” Customer: “These bears are extremely boring. I paid money to see the animals move around.” Me: “It’s very hot today, ma’am. Bears don’t like to move around much on hot days, and they sleep at least 16 hours out of the day anyway.” Customer: “I don’t care if it’s hot outside. Why won’t they do anything?” Me: “Ma’am, the bears are not required to move around for your entertainment.” Customer: “Well, they should be!” Me: “They’re wild animals, ma’am. If they don’t want to move around, they don’t have to.” Customer: “I want to see your superior! Maybe he will understand!” Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?” Customer: “These bears are boring!” Manager: *tells her what I said about hot days* Customer: “Go poke them or something. Make them move!” Me: “You’re asking me to go into an enclosed area with a group of thousand-pound carnivores, and poke them with a stick so that they can amuse you? Customer: “Yes! Just make them do something!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 3:11 pm Post #14590 |
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MacGyver Becomes a Dad Pharmacy | Hampton, SC, USA (A man was picking up a prescription for his infant child.) Customer: “How much did you say the prescription was?” Me: “$49.99.” Customer: “What’s the difference between this and what I can get over the counter?” Me: “There’s no cough medicine you can give your 8 month old, sir, other than this.” Customer: “Well, what’s in it?” (He picks up the prescription papers and starts rustling through them.) Customer: “If I can buy everything that’s in it over the counter, I’ll just make it myself.” Me: “…excuse me?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 3:12 pm Post #14591 |
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Driven By Fear, Threats & Minimum Wage Tech Support | USA Me: “Thank you for calling customer support.” Customer: “Hi. I need some help figuring out this thing. I’m not very familiar with electronics.” *pause* “YOU’RE A FRAUD AND I’M GOING TO THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU RIGHT NOW!” Me: “Excuse me, sir, I don’t believe that’s necessary. How can I help you?” Customer: “Oh, my friend said you’d only be useful if I scared you. How do I charge my unit?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 3:12 pm Post #14592 |
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The Dangers Of Using Fishy Logic Restaurant | San Francisco, California (I work at a fish and chips booth at a 19th-century London convention.) Customer: “Hi, I want some chips.” Me: “Sure, that’ll be ***. Here are your chips.” Customer: “No, I want chips.” Me: “These are chips.” Customer: “No, they’re french fries.” Me: “In England, they’re called chips.” Customer: “So? We’re in America.” Me: “You’re at a convention set in London.” Customer: “So?” Me: “So, they’re called chips in an attempt to be authentic.” Customer: “The f***? I’m an American and in America they’re called french fries!” Me: “So why aren’t they called American fries?” Customer: *stares blankly* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 3:13 pm Post #14593 |
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Joseph Smith’s Great Northern Detour Restaurant | Wellington, New Zealand Drunk Customer: “You’re American! What state are you from??” Me: “Actually Sir, I’m from Canada.” Drunk Customer: “OH! The MORMON State!” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 3:13 pm Post #14594 |
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Hypothetical Intelligence Call Center | Newcastle, UK (I work for a political party and am making polling calls.) Me: “Hello, my name is *** and I’m calling on behalf of the *** Party. Do you have time to take a quick survey for us?” Caller: “Yes.” Me: “Thank you. If there was a General Election tomorrow, who do you think you would vote for?” Caller: “There’s a General Election tomorrow?” Me: “No, but if there was, who do you think you would vote for?” Caller: “I would have trouble getting to the polling station, are you offering a lift?” Me: “No… it’s a hypothetical election about who would you vote for.” Caller: “Sorry, I have to go to the doctors tomorrow!” Me: *gives up* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 3:14 pm Post #14595 |
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When You’ve Lost The Passion Fruit Smoothie Bar | Hertfordshire, UK Me: “Hi, can I help?” Customer: “I’d like a wheat grass shot and an apple, carrot, ginger and orange juice.” Me: “Would you like size one, two or three?” Customer: “One.” Me: “Would you like any extra boosters?” Customer: “No. Stop trying to sell me things.” Me: “That’s £*.**. Do you have a loyalty card?” Customer: “I’m not even loyal to my WIFE.” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 3:14 pm Post #14596 |
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I Can Thieve Clearly Now Bookstore | New York, USA Customer: “I need to bring back these reading glasses. They’re broken.” Me: “OK - do you have the receipt for them?” (The customer hands me a receipt from 9 months earlier.) Me: “This receipt is a little past our 30-day return policy. May I have a look at the glasses?” Customer: “Yeah, well, they’re clearly broken, and I never used them, so you need to make an exception for me.” (I see that the glasses have clearly had the packaging removed and haphazardly put back on. They also have grease marks all over the lenses.) Me: “OK, well, I can’t take these back for a number of reasons: They were bought 9 months ago, we don’t carry this style anymore, and they have been clearly opened and used.” Customer: “No, they’re not used! You can’t get that package back on them!” Me: “It’s tricky, but you can get it back on. I’ve had to re-package them on a few occasions.” Customer: “NO YOU CAN’T! I HAD A HARD ENOUGH TIME GETTING THE PACKAGE OFF!” Me: “…” (The customer realizes what she just said, then turns and sheepishly walks out.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 3:15 pm Post #14597 |
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Pride Goeth Before A Sale Hardware Store | Massachusetts, USA (Whenever the store was getting ready to discontinue something they would reduce the price to a penny before throwing it away. I was ringing up a customer’s order and he had several little bags of screws that were being discontinued.) Me: “All right, that’ll be $10.95.” Customer: “Why is it so much cheaper than yesterday?” Me: “Oh, those screws are being discontinued so they brought the price down.” Customer: “What? Do you think I can’t afford them?” Me: “Uh, no sir?” Customer: “I don’t need your help! I want to buy them at the regular price!” Me: “Uh, they brought the price down automatically in the system, sir. I can’t raise the price myself.” Customer: “I want to speak to a manager!” (I called the manager, and he spent ten minutes trying to reason with the man before he gave up and raised the price for him. Turns out the screws were only 36 cents a bag at regular price.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 20, 2009 3:16 pm Post #14598 |
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Pride Goeth Before A Rental Video Rental | Philadelphia, PA, USA (I have a reputation of knowing good movies. Some customers got into the habit of just coming in and asking me what they should watch…especially when they wanted to seem intellectual. One customer was an a** one day so I gave him a Russian movie that was slow, boring and pretentious. He returned the movie about a week later.) Me: “How’d you like it?” Customer: “Man, you dropped the ball on this one. It sucked. Took me three nights to get through it. I kept falling asleep. I hate to have to pay this much money for it.” Me: “Wow, I’m surprised. I don’t recommend it to a lot of people because I don’t think they’ll catch the subtle subtext in the imagery.” Customer: “Really?” Me: “Yeah…the meat of the story is really in the shot composition, the use of color and the things that remain unsaid. It gets past a lot of people but I thought you would have caught that and enjoyed the message.” Customer: “You know, don’t check that in yet. I’ll take it back and watch it again.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Wed May 20, 2009 3:19 pm Post #14599 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Wed May 20, 2009 3:19 pm Post #14600 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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