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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,308 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:34 pm Post #14341 |
 
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3PM Speaking Of Which, Here Are Those Cupcakes You Wanted Me to Frost Female cube dweller #1; I just got back from the bathroom, I had to do three things. Female cube dweller #2; Ummmm... New York City, New York |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:35 pm Post #14342 |
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2PM Wait, Did You Just Agree With Me? IT coordinator, during meeting: I've worked here long enough to know that nothing I say matters. Webmaster: Nobody listen to him, just keep pushing forward. Tallahassee, Florida Overheard by: c8h10n4o2 |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:35 pm Post #14343 |
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1PM Career Tip: Nobody Wants the Details on Your Personal Hygiene Coworker, smelling her armpit: My armpit smells great today. (pauses, smells the other armpit) Almost as good as this one. Fort Myers, Florida Overheard by: Greg Dunn |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:35 pm Post #14344 |
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12PM It's an Ancient Chinese Proverb. Coworker in break room: She said it was in college and she was drunk. I don't care how drunk you are, you don't poop on a pillow. Rocky Hill, Connecticut |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:36 pm Post #14345 |
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11AM C'mon, I Need My Romance Fix! Older female coworker: So, did you and that guy you had a date with makeout? Younger female coworker: Um...did we make out? Older coworker: Yeah. I mean, did you hit it off? What happened with him? Younger coworker's friend: She doesn't want to talk about it. Older female coworker: Did he rape you? Melbourne, Florida |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:36 pm Post #14346 |
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10AM And I Had to Get Rid Of My Melissa Joan Hart-on 60-year-old boss, walking in late to a meeting: Sorry I'm late, guys. I got caught up watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch this morning. Plymouth, Massachusetts Overheard by: sabrina lover |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:36 pm Post #14347 |
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9AM Global Warming? Slightly chubby male worker to supervisor: My Speedo has nothing to do with this! Revelstoke BC Canadia Overheard by: Jon |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:37 pm Post #14348 |
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from overheardinnewyork.com Thug Air Flight Attendants Will Cut a Bitch Thugette flight attendant, yelling as plane is about to take off: Sir! Turn off yo laptop! Suit: (holds cord to show it's not plugged in) Thugette flight attendant: Uh-uh! I can see the reflection in yo glasses. Suit: (takes off headphones) Thugette flight attendant: I saaaaid I can see the reflection in yo glasses, turn yo laptop off, turn it off, turn it oooooooooooooff! Suit: (shuts laptop) --Small Commuter Plane Leaving JFK |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:38 pm Post #14349 |
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Girls Are Actually More About the Dew Point Tall awkward white dude: So you mean to tell me you never question your sexuality? Girl, shaking her head slowly: No. Tall awkward white dude: I mean, it's not like it's conscience. It's like a barometer thing: when you meet someone, you just respond. --7 Train |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:38 pm Post #14350 |
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Rockette Auditions Are the Stuff Of Nightmare Girl: It smells like vagina. Guy: No, it smells like vaseline or something. Girl: Really? It smells like ass. --Radio City |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:38 pm Post #14351 |
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They're 100% Cannabis Guy #1: I don't remember how to sleep anymore, and I don't even do drugs. No cocaine, nothing. Guy #2: (blank stare) Guy #1: Well enough about me, how do you like my shoes? --7th St & Ave B Overheard by: Peter |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:38 pm Post #14352 |
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Ogrerotica! Dude: So what have you been up to lately? Gay friend: Oh, nothing. (pause) Oh! I've been writing a book about Shrek! --48th & 8th Overheard by: Cori |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:39 pm Post #14353 |
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Shhh! Don't You Know Where We Are? Woman #1, washing her hands: So I went to see Cirque du Soleil the other night. Woman #2, in a stall: Really? Woman #1: And this guy is doing this whole routine with chairs. He just had a whole mess of chairs, and he was balancing them on each other, and he was sometimes balancing on them too. Woman #2: Ok... Woman #1: And it made me realize, I really appreciate chairs. I just f#cking hate Cirque du Soleil. --Ladies' Room, Bowery Poetry Club Overheard by: also a fan |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:40 pm Post #14354 |
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Kyle Gets Payback for Mom's Gaydar Remark Five-year-old boy: I have nipples! Look! I have nipples! Mother: Yes, you do. Five-year-old boy: I have breasts! Mother: No, boys don't have breasts. Five-year-old boy: Neither do you! --Old Navy, Chelsea |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:40 pm Post #14355 |
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...That Was You? Hipster guy #1: Last night I started fighting with someone. Hipster guy #2: Are you serious? I'm always fighting other people. Cause y'know, that's the only thing you can do besides kiss them. Hipster guy #2: This one time I accidentally kissed someone and I was like "eewwwww". Hipster guy #1: Ewww. --Brooklyn Heights Overheard by: What the hell were they talking about? |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:40 pm Post #14356 |
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And I Put a Blanket Over the Gin-Filled Kiddie Pool Mother: I swear, the next time you're late coming to see me... I mean, I'll give you five minutes and then I'm gone. Daughter: I couldn't help it. They were doing room inspections and I had to stick around. Mother: Room inspections? Daughter: Yeah, they come around and check your rooms, make sure there's like no lights or no alcohol. Mother: What about the alcohol I gave you? Daughter: They don't open drawers. --Pizza Place near Columbia University |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:41 pm Post #14357 |
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...He Does Want Extra Cheese. Old guy on mountain bike: (makes Chewbacca-like noise into the service window of a pizzeria) Unseen person across the street: (same noise) Old guy on bike to pizzeria worker: See? --5th Ave, Sunset Park Overheard by: B. Clothman |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:41 pm Post #14358 |
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Luckily I Had Some Weed to Give Him Student in line: So I usually get delivery from this other place, they deliver anything anytime. Friend: Really? Sounds good, I should go there. Student: Yeah, they'll deliver newspapers and Chinese food and burgers at 3 am. Sometimes they get it wrong, though, like once the delivery guy came and just tried to stuff a wad of cash into my hand. Friend, clearly not listening: Hmm... --Broadway & 115th Overheard by: tell me more... |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:42 pm Post #14359 |
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Thank Goodness That's in Style This Season Red jacket: You know he texted me from Mexico like five times since he's been there? Mauve jacket: Oh my! It costs so much to text from there! It's like 75 cents per text! Red jacket: I don't know why. I made it quite obvious I wasn't interested. He should spend that money on match.com! Mauve jacket: You are so wrong. --Greene & W 4th |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue May 19, 2009 7:43 pm Post #14360 |
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from not alwaysright.com The Logic Is Weak In This One, Part 2 Computer Store | New Jersey, USA (I’m ringing up a fairly high-end video card for a customer.) Me: “That’ll be $211.98 please…” Customer: “But the display showed it as $49.99.” Me: “Are you sure it was this card? This is a fairly new card.” Customer: “Yes, I picked it up, and it says the price is $49.99 below it.” Me: “Can you show me?” (We walk over to the video cards, and he shows me where he picked it up from. The shelf is marked $49.99, and it is the same manufacturer. However, it is a lower end card than the one he is holding.) Customer: “See, $49.99!” Me: “Sir, that price is not for that video card. You’re holding this one…” (I point to another shelf with the video card he picked up; it’s priced at $199.99.) Customer: “Well, it was on this shelf, so it was advertised at this price and you have to sell it to me for that.” Me: “I’m sorry for the confusion, sir, but sometimes customers pick things up and then don’t return them to their proper location.” Customer: “That’s not my fault! It was on this shelf, so you should sell it to me for $49.99.” Me: “Sir, how do I know it wasn’t you who put it on that shelf? Or for that matter, that it was on that shelf at all?” Customer: “…” Me: “So, do you want the $49.99 one instead?” Customer: *defeated* “Yeah…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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