 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,315 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Mon May 18, 2009 7:57 pm Post #14201 |
 
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Holy Crap-- That's My Other Fetish! African pedestrian, checking out hot Asian girl: Hello. Hot Asian girl, listening to iPod: Hi. (looks at pedestrian quizzically) African pedestrian: Konichiwa. (smiles creepily at her) Hot Asian girl: No inglés. (looks back at her iPod) --Penn Station Overheard by: ABC |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 18, 2009 7:58 pm Post #14202 |
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God Bless the LIRR 30-something guy: Have you ever shot an AK-47? 40-something girl: Oh my god, yes! 30-something guy: How did it feel? 40-something girl: Pulling that trigger... It's amazing. 30-something guy: Getting punched in the face hurts. Have you ever gotten punched in the face? 40-something girl: Yes! When did you? 30-something guy: It was one of those "wrong place at the wrong time" situations... I was on the corner of this street and all of a sudden someone just came up and started punching me. It hurt really badly. Have you ever tried punching a bird? --LIRR Overheard by: Francesca |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 18, 2009 7:58 pm Post #14203 |
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NYC Rules Require at Least One Person to Drop the F-Bomb Hot hippie chick: Excuse me, you need a hand? Old blind man: Nah, I'm just getting to the n train. Thanks so much, though! Hot hippie chick: Alright, you have a great day! Blind man: Same to you! Overlooking suit to friend: Nice New Yorkers...they just blow my mind. --Union Square Subway Station |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 18, 2009 7:58 pm Post #14204 |
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I Dunno-- He's Wearing Mittens Random guy peeing in the corner to girl walking by: Hey girl, I like your scarf. I'd like to make love to you, but you could keep the scarf on. Keep the scarf on when we make love. Girl's friend: He'd probably use it to choke you. --14th St & 8th Ave Overheard by: Julia |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 18, 2009 8:00 pm Post #14205 |
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from notalwaysright.com Fairweather Friendships Coffee Shop | Bend, OR, USA Me: “…and your total comes to $4.45.” Customer: “Well, I’m a close friend with the owner and he told me that you’ll hook me up with the drink.” Me: “I’m sorry, unless he told me directly I can’t do that for you.” Customer: “Are you calling me a liar?” Me: “Yes.” (Coincidentally, Bob, the owner, shows up so I give him his usual coffee.) Me: “Here you are, Bob!” Customer: “Oh, so you can hook that jerk-*ff up with a free drink but not me?” Me: “Sir, it’s not polite to call your close friend a jerk-*ff.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 18, 2009 8:00 pm Post #14206 |
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Finally, Mayonnaise That Burns Calories Sandwich Shop | Rincon, GA, USA (A lady comes into our sandwich shop and orders a sub. Everything is normal until…) Customer: “Could I get mayonnaise?” Me: “Sure”. (I put the mayonnaise on the sandwich.) Customer: *orgasm noise* “Mooooore.” Me: “Okay…” Customer: *orgasm noise* “More mayonnaise!” (I honestly think a little bit of my spirit died that day.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 18, 2009 8:01 pm Post #14207 |
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Unhappily Ever After Call Center | Maryland, USA Caller: “I want to check the status of my form to withdrawal my account.” Me: “I’m sorry Sir, but you gave conflicting information on the form. In the section where it asked if you were married, you marked both ‘Yes’ and ‘No’.’ Caller: “…and?” Me: “Well, sir, that is conflicting information, so it was kicked out of the system.” Caller: “So, what should I mark?” Me: “Well, are you married or not?” Caller: “I’m married… but I don’t like her.” Me: “It sounds like you’re separated, but just to check, are you legally married?” Caller: “Yes, but I don’t feel like I’m married.” Me: “If you aren’t legally divorced, you’ll need to mark that you are married.” Caller: “But I don’t LIKE her!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 18, 2009 8:01 pm Post #14208 |
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From Sprinting In Stilettos To Shin Splints & Sprains Retail | San Francisco, CA, USA Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for high-heeled running shoes.” Me: “Um…we don’t make high-heeled running shoes.” Customer: “That’s impossible! I bought some here last year!” Me: “Ma’am, I’ve been working here for 2 years, and I can assure you that we have never carried high-heeled running shoes.” Customer: “Well, where can I find some?” Me: “I’m pretty sure those don’t exist. Heels would defeat the purpose of a running shoe.” Customer: “Fine! I’m not shopping here ever again!” *storms out* Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 18, 2009 8:02 pm Post #14209 |
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Delicious Deals Retail | Melbourne, Australia Me: “Would you like this gift wrapped?” Customer: “Yes I would.” Me: “OK - here’s your receipt. Just head to the back of the store in about 5 min–” (The customer eats the receipt.) Me: “Oh…um, you actually need that to collect your purchase from gift wrap…” (The customer spits the receipt onto the counter.) Customer: “It didn’t taste very good anyway.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon May 18, 2009 8:03 pm Post #14210 |
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The End Justifies The Crazy Means Law Firm | Munich, Germany (I worked as a debt collector for a car rental agency.) Debtor: *on the phone* “You sent me a court order about a debt. I can’t pay it. But, I can offer you some paintings I made.” Me: “Sorry, ma’am, I cannot accept them. You have to pay cash or make a wire transfer.” Debtor: “They’re good paintings - I have written confirmation by the Arts Department of the University of **** that they’re good.” Me: “If they’re that good, I recommend that you sell a few of the paintings. Then you’ll have money to pay your debt. Debtor: “I can’t do that! To sell a painting I’d have to ruin a marriage!” Me: “I’m afraid I don’t understand…” Debtor: “Well, for a man to buy a painting off me, I’d have to sleep with him. His wife would find out, and she’d divorce him.” Me: “Ma’am…I think that you should check your relationship with reality. I am extending your deadline by one week; please pay cash or transfer…” Me: *to my co-worker* “I can’t believe she just said that. I can’t believe I just said that.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Tue May 19, 2009 12:00 am Post #14211 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue May 19, 2009 12:01 am Post #14212 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue May 19, 2009 12:01 am Post #14213 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue May 19, 2009 12:01 am Post #14214 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue May 19, 2009 12:01 am Post #14215 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue May 19, 2009 12:02 am Post #14216 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue May 19, 2009 12:02 am Post #14217 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue May 19, 2009 12:02 am Post #14218 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue May 19, 2009 12:02 am Post #14219 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue May 19, 2009 12:03 am Post #14220 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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