 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
|
| Spam; 2.0 | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,362 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Thu May 14, 2009 7:52 pm Post #13261 |
 
|
Reach Out And Touch Someone’s Nerve Retail | Canada Me: *on the phone* “Good morning, **** speaking.” Customer: “I need to speak to a computer technician.” Me: “I’m sorry, but nobody’s in right now. We don’t open for another 20 minutes or so. Did you want to try calling back in about half an hour?” Customer: “No.” Me: “… um, OK. Can I take a message for them to call you back?” Customer: “No! I called NOW, so I want to talk to a computer technician NOW!” Me: “…but there’s nobody in to take your call.” Customer: “I need to speak with your manager.” Me: “Uh, why?” Customer: *angry* “I’M GOING TO GET YOU FIRED BECAUSE YOU MADE ME THINK YOU WERE OPEN BY ANSWERING YOUR F***ING PHONE!” Me: “So…you would’ve been happier if nobody answered?” Customer: “OH, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!” Me: “I think I do. Bye now!” *click* |
|
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
 |
 
|
| AWOLangel | Thu May 14, 2009 7:52 pm Post #13262 |
|
America’s Next Top Model Customer Grocery Store | Montreal, Canada (The cashier I was bagging for is a very pretty blonde girl who likes to make herself up, while I’m a fairly plain and simple girl.) Customer: *to cashier* “Oh, my, you’re beautiful! You’ll have it made; you’ll have everything you’ll ever wanted. You’ll do well in life.” (The customer then looks at me and pauses.) Customer: “…you? You’ll do all right…” Me: “…” |
|
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
|
|
|
| AWOLangel | Thu May 14, 2009 7:54 pm Post #13263 |
|
Day Trippy Post Office | Wisconsin, USA Me: “Good afternoon, ma’am. How many books of these stamps?” (As I ask the customer this, “Yellow Submarine” by the Beatles begins playing on a nearby radio.) Lady: “Oh my gosh! I love this song!” Me: “That’s great. Now, how many books of–” Lady: *begins to dance towards the door* Me: “Uh, okay ma’am, don’t forget your–” Lady: *dances out of post office, leaving her purse on the table and the rest of the customers confused* |
|
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
|
|
|
| AWOLangel | Thu May 14, 2009 7:54 pm Post #13264 |
|
A Flock Of Explorers On A Safari Singing Opera Tech Support | Wales, UK Me: “Alright, so what browser are you using to view your websites?” Customer: “Mozzarella Firefox!” |
|
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
|
|
|
| AWOLangel | Thu May 14, 2009 8:04 pm Post #13265 |
|
Atone For Sins, Make Peace With Maker, Close Phone Account Phone Company | Cincinnati, OH, USA Me: “How may I help you today?” Customer: “I’d like to close my account.” Me: “Well, I’m sorry to hear that, but I can assist you with that right here. May I ask why you’re closing your account today?” Customer: “What? You don’t know?” Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t.” Customer: “It’s the Armageddon!” Me: “Uh, well, okay, ma’am, I’ll get your account closed right away… is there anything else I can do for you?” Customer: “Watch your back, young lady! You’ll see! The Armageddon’s coming, make no mistake!” *hangs up* |
|
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
|
|
|
| AWOLangel | Thu May 14, 2009 8:04 pm Post #13266 |
|
This Barter Be A Good Deal Clothing Store | Pennsylvania, USA Me: “OK, so this suit will be $500.” Customer: “Oh wow - that’s way too much. Can you take the price down?” Me: “No sir, I can’t do anything about the price.” Customer: “Well…how about I give you my watch?” Me: “…are you serious? I can’t do that.” Customer: “How about my watch?” Me: “All right. You give me your watch, two of your daughters, a goat and a chicken, and the suit is yours.” Customer: “OK, deal!” (The customer walked out of the store. He never came back.) |
|
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
|
|
|
| AWOLangel | Thu May 14, 2009 8:05 pm Post #13267 |
|
The Scenic Route Always Whets The Appetite Restaurant | Dallas, TX, USA (This lady called to place a to-go order. She gave me a phone number with an odd area code, but I didn’t think much of it until this part of the conversation…) Me: *on the phone* “All right, your total comes to $47.92 and it should be ready in 15 minutes. You know this is the store at **** and **** in front of the mall, right?” Caller: “What? I’ve never heard of those street names. How do I get there?” Me: “Well, if you can tell me the closest intersection to you, I can give you directions…” Caller: “I’m at **** and ****.” Me: “…ma’am, what city are you in?” Caller: “…Little Rock…” Me: “Arkansas?!” Caller: “What other state would I be in?” Me: “We’re in Texas. I’m thinking you’re going to want to order from a location closer to you.” Caller: “I don’t know. Where in Texas are you, exactly?” |
|
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
|
|
|
| AWOLangel | Thu May 14, 2009 8:05 pm Post #13268 |
|
The Grim Reaper Goes Shopping Retail | Hadley, MA, USA (I am stocking our stationary section, and a customer walks up to me.) Customer: “Do you sell condolence cards?” Me: “No. Perhaps try Target or Walmart?” Customer: “I’m looking for them in bulk.” |
|
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
|
|
|
| AWOLangel | Thu May 14, 2009 8:06 pm Post #13269 |
|
Fast Times At Fry Cook High Fast Food, Restaurant | Ontario, Canada Me: “Hi, what can I get you?” Teenage girl #1: “Oh my God… like.. could we talk to the cook?” Me: “… what?” Teenage girl #2: “Yeah. Could you go get him?” Me: “Why?” Teenage girl #1: “He’s hot.” Me: “Alright, then.” (The cook then comes out to talk with them.) Cook: “Yes?” Teenage girl #2: “Like… what’re you doing after work?” Cook: “Going home to see my one month old son and girlfriend.” Teenage girl #1: “Oh my God, you have a son!? That’s so gross. You’re so young!” Cook: “This is why you use condoms, kids. Stay in school!” |
|
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
|
|
|
| AWOLangel | Thu May 14, 2009 8:07 pm Post #13270 |
|
Be Prepared… For Some Womanly Advice Grocery Store | New Jersey, USA (Note: I’m a teenager and doing Girl Scout fund raising by bagging at a local grocery store. All the other lanes had baggers, leaving me at self-check out. A customer notices me reaching for his items.) Customer: “I… uh… please… uh… DON’T!” (I notice his purchase consists of condoms, roses, and chocolates.) Me: “Oh! So, anniversary, or did you just piss her off?” Customer: “The second.” Me: “That bad, eh?” Customer: “Yeah, and she hasn’t given me any since! What kind of bulls*** is that?” Me: “When did this start happening?” Customer: “Like a week ago! I don’t even know what I did wrong!” Me: “Don’t you think it’s a bit early for these?” *holds up the box of condoms* Customer: *sarcastically* “What would a Girl Scout know anyways? Since you’re the expert, why don’t you tell me what to do?” (I talk to the guy for around 15 minutes and he leaves. The next week, he comes in while I’m bagging as usual. Without a word, he comes up to me, hands me a $20 bill and leaves without buying anything.) 1 Thumbs Up |
|
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
|
|
|
| AWOLangel | Thu May 14, 2009 8:07 pm Post #13271 |
|
Vocabulary, Meet Veracity Day Care | Los Angeles, CA, USA (I work at a daycare center and am teaching a room full of two year-old children to memorize their parents’ or guardians’ names and home phone numbers.) Me: “So, what’s your daddy’s name?” Little girl: “Robert!” Me: “And what’s your mommy’s name?” Little girl: “Dammitjulia!” (Needless to say, “Robert” had a little talking-to when he came to pick up his daughter.) |
|
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
|
|
|
| AWOLangel | Thu May 14, 2009 8:08 pm Post #13272 |
|
Our Great Dumbocracy, Part 2 Call Center | Richmond, VA, USA (This was back in August of 2008, and I was just starting as a volunteer for the Barack Obama campaign.) Me: “Hi I’m calling on behalf of the Barack Obama Campaign for Change. Is [name] there?” Caller: “Barack Obama?” Me: “Yes, sir.” Caller: “Who’s he?” Me: “A candidate.” Caller: “For what?” Me: “President.” Caller: “President of what?” Me: “…the United States?” Caller: “I’M TALKING TO THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES?” Me: “No, I’m just a volunteer.” Caller: “Oh okay. So go ahead, ask me the questions.” Me: “So which candidate do you support?” Caller: “Candidate for what? Me: “The United States.” Caller: “Oh, the election is this year?” Me: “Yes. So which candidate do you support?” Caller: “Well, I guess Obama, since he’s calling me.” Me: “Alright, good.” Caller: “Is he there?” Me: “Um… no, not right now.” Caller: “But I read on the news he’s supposed to be in Virginia.” Me: “Yeah, but not in Richmond.” Caller: “Oh, when will he get back?” Me: “I’m not sure, sir.” Caller: “Okay. Well, when he gets back, have him give me a call!” Me:“Uh… okay.” Caller: “You need the number?” Me: “No, sir, I’ve got it.” Caller: “Okay, he’d better call me and tell me to vote for him!” |
|
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
|
|
|
| AWOLangel | Thu May 14, 2009 8:09 pm Post #13273 |
|
Food Chain Brain Drain Retail | Oregon, USA (I work at a supplement store, and a customer asked if we had any samples other than what was available at the register.) Me: “I do have this omega-3 dark chocolate if you’d like to try it. It’s made by a chocolatier instead a supplement company, and you really can tell.” Customer: “I love dark chocolate! I’ll try that.” Me: “Wait…if you can’t have fish for whatever reason, then you can’t have this. The omega-3 in here comes from fish.” Customer: “Oh, no, I stopped eating meat, but I still eat fish.” Me: “Well, if you want to get technical about it, fish is meat.” Customer: *shocked* “REALLY?!” Me: “…well, it’s not a vegetable.” |
|
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
|
|
|
| AWOLangel | Thu May 14, 2009 8:11 pm Post #13274 |
|
Another Blow To The Disney Slave Trade Retail | Massachusetts, USA (This took place in a music store where there was a Jonas Brothers poster on display. A young female customer comes in, walks past the poster, stops, then walks back again.) Customer: “O. M. G.” Me: “Can I help you?” Customer: “Can I get them?” Me: “Um, who?” Customer: “The Jonas Brothers.” Me: “Yes, you can purchase that poster and their CDs.” Customer: “No, I mean do you sell them? Like the real them?” Me: “Um…what?” Customer: *getting frustrated* “Can I buy the Jonas Brothers?!” Me: “…I’m sorry, but we don’t sell people…” Customer: “Well, that is just plain STUPID. WHY would you have an advertisement for them if I can’t buy them?! *storms away angrily* Me: “…” |
|
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
|
|
|
| AWOLangel | Thu May 14, 2009 8:12 pm Post #13275 |
|
If You Can’t Beat Them, Annoy Them Tech Support | Missouri, USA (The customer had demanded a supervisor, and I was the supervisor who took this call.) Me: *on the phone* “Hi, my name is ****, supervisor on the floor, how may I help you?” Customer: “My internet is down and I need it up now! Your stupid agent told me I have an appointment for tomorrow morning! What YOU need to do is give me one today!” (I check the schedule and there is nothing available.) Me: “I do apologize ma’am, but it seems that we don’t have anyone available for today. But, it looks like we have someone coming out tomorrow morn–” Customer: “I don’t care about tomorrow! I want someone today! Either you cancel someone else’s appointment and give me one today, or I will stay on this phone until you decide to! And I know you can’t hang up on me!” Me: “I’m sorry that you’re frustrated, but there is no way for me to get you an appointment today.” Customer: “Well, I guess it sucks for you then, huh? I’m not hanging up this phone.” Me: “Even if you stay on, it won’t change the appointments. We are overbooked today.” Customer: “Well, I guess you’re not getting anything done today! Since I can’t do anything, you won’t either. Your work will never be done!” Me: “OK, you can stay on the phone. How are you doing today?” Customer: “Horrible!” Me: “I’m doing fine myself.” Customer: “…so when’s my appointment for tomorrow?” |
|
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
|
|
|
| Gummy | Fri May 15, 2009 12:14 am Post #13276 |
Me in 10 years^^^
|
|
| |
|
|
|
| Gummy | Fri May 15, 2009 12:14 am Post #13277 |
|
Me in 10 years^^^
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
| Gummy | Fri May 15, 2009 12:15 am Post #13278 |
|
Me in 10 years^^^
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
| Gummy | Fri May 15, 2009 12:15 am Post #13279 |
|
Me in 10 years^^^
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
| Gummy | Fri May 15, 2009 12:15 am Post #13280 |
|
Me in 10 years^^^
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
 Join the millions that use us for their forum communities. Create your own forum today. |
|
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Matter Stream · Next Topic » |
| Track Topic · E-mail Topic |
 9:27 AM Jul 13
|
    
|
|
Theme by Sith of Outline
Hosted for free by ZetaBoards · Privacy Policy