 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,378 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:24 pm Post #12941 |
 
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It's Never Too Early for Internet Porn Little boy: Hey! What's your name? Little girl walking along shore doesn't look at him. Little boy: Hey! What's your name?! Little girl looks at boy but continues walking. Little boy: What's your name?! What's your naaaaame?! Mother of girl: It's Jade. Mother whispers to girl and points in boy's direction, but girl continues walking in other direction. Surfer dude: Yeah, kid, you can only expect more of that as you get older. --Pomano Beach, Florida |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:24 pm Post #12942 |
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He Should Tell the Girls There's No Such Thing as College Family man #1: So, all three of your kids will be in college at the same time? That will be expensive. Family man #2: Yeah, so I hope that they are all talented so they can get scholarships or they are all so dumb that they can't get into college. --Robert Moses Beach, New York |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:24 pm Post #12943 |
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Your Pants Say It's Too Late For That Baggy-Pants boy #1: I don't take off my shoes at the beach. Baggy-Pants boy #2: How are you going to walk in the water? Baggy-Pants boy #1: I'll just keep them on. Is there a law that says you have to be barefoot in the ocean? Baggy-Pants boy #2: No. But there's a law that says if you do that, you're gonna look like a jackass. --Fort Lauderdale Beach, Florida Overheard by: Lesley |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:25 pm Post #12944 |
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Dear Diary: Still Alone. Can't Figure Out Why. Girl to guy with oddly-shaped swimsuit: What kind of a tan line do you have? Guy: Get the hell away from me! I don't know you! --Carolina Beach, North Carolina |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:25 pm Post #12945 |
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The Smiths' Early Forays Into Swinging Were Clumsy and Ineffectual World's best wife: Honey, twelve o'clock. Clueless husband: Huh? No, it's not. It's two-thirty. World's best wife: I mean twelve o'clock. Clueless husband: I don't get you. World's best wife: Look straight ahead. Clueless husband: Why? World's best wife: Look at the hot chick right in front of you! Look! Look! Clueless husband: Oh!...Niiice. --Grand Beach, Manitoba |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:25 pm Post #12946 |
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His Class Voted Him Most Likely to Miss the Point Mom whispering to little boy: Go in the water where nobody can see. Little boy digs a hole, fills it with water, and pees. --Vero Beach, Florida Overheard by: Nick |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:26 pm Post #12947 |
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You Mean 'Danger' in Your Vagina... And How Did You Know I Called It That? Girl on cell: Sure, we can get together tonight... that sounds good... I won't do that! Are you TRYING to put my vagina in danger? --Rockaway Beach, Brooklyn, New York |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:26 pm Post #12948 |
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Of Course, I Can Go Swimming Only Under Very Special Circumstances, So It's a Tradeoff Kid: Yo, that chair's sweet! How come you get to sit in that big chair? I wanna get one of them. Lifeguard: Sorry. I just got here really early this morning before all these good chairs were taken. --Riis Park, Rockaway, New York |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:26 pm Post #12949 |
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So That's Why Garfield Is Always So Hungry Hippie, to the cat he is walking on a leash: Did you eat my pot? --Ocean Beach, San Diego |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:27 pm Post #12950 |
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First They Blow You Up, Then They Patch You Up Teen: What's Hezbollah? Dad: Well, it's hard to explain. They're a terrorist paramilitary organization, but they're also a humanitarian social services organization. They're sort of like the Super Wal-Mart of the Middle East. --Old Orchard Beach, Maine |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:27 pm Post #12951 |
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He Can Only be Killed with a Graphics Card Through the Heart Wet teen boy #1, rubbing eyes: My eyes hurt. Wet teen boy #2: From the salt? Wet teen boy #1: Nah. I've been outside for two days. They're used to video game light only. --Bradley Beach, New Jersey Overheard by: long time mom |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:27 pm Post #12952 |
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It's Not the Content But the Style That Suggests This Kid Has a Future in Musical Theater Small boy, carrying bag: Fudge! The wonderful joy of fudge! --Bethany Beach, Delaware |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:28 pm Post #12953 |
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Social Darwinism: Coming Soon to a Street Near You Girl #1: Why the hell isn't he going? We have to get someplace too! Girl #2: It's probably a parent. Girl #1: Yeah, those parents are always looking out for kids' safety. I am so not going to be one of those parents. And I will never have one of those Please Drive Slowly bullshit signs in my yard. Girl #2: Yeah, if you don't want me to hit your kid, keep him out of the goddamned street. --Booth Lake, Wisconsin Overheard by: Sarah |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:28 pm Post #12954 |
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I'm So Fat and I Haven't Had My Period for Eight Months! I Must Have a Tumor. Girl: My nipples are so sore! I think they're sunburned. Nipple-Savvy friend: Is that even possible? Girl: What else would explain the pain? [Shows nipple] Nipple-Savvy friend: Maybe your boyfriend shouldn't bite them so hard, yeah? Girl: He didn't bite them! Nipple-Savvy friend: I can see the bite marks. Girl: Oh. --Miami Beach, Florida Overheard by: A beach bookreader |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:29 pm Post #12955 |
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Little Guilty Knowledge There, Bro? Tween in one-piece: Amber's parents let her wear a bikini. Dad: But her parents love her. Teen brother: No, they don't. She's just a 10-year-old slut. --Lake Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canadia Overheard by: Jenny |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:29 pm Post #12956 |
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I'm More Interested in His Daughters Homeless man, frolicking in large waves: Do it again, Poseidon!! --Ocean Beach, San Diego, California Overheard by: Daryl |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:32 pm Post #12957 |
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You Could Have Had a Friend in Pennsylvania, But Nooo... Tourist guy: I hate these tourists! They think they're so cool, just coming down for the weekend in their little homes, f#cking up the traffic and making parking difficult. Go home! Local teen: Your license plate says you're from Pennsylvania. Tourist guy: I rent for the summer. I guess I'm kinda like you, in a sense. Local teen: Bitch, please. --Bethany Beach, Delaware Overheard by: beach native |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:33 pm Post #12958 |
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Those Aren't Girls, Sir American girl #1: Does your boyfriend shave his balls? American girl #2: I didn't know that men do that. Nearby British man: Is this what young American girls talk about on their holiday? --Cassis, France |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:33 pm Post #12959 |
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You Don't Need Sunblock in There -- It's Dark Girl, wearing lifeguard swimsuit and applying sunblock: Do my hole... NO! My back hole! --Sacandaga Lake, New York Overheard by: sherpa |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:35 pm Post #12960 |
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As Long As We Keep It Underwater, We Should Be Fine Rich stoner: Are you sure the bonfire won't light the sand on fire? --The Hamptons, Long Island, New York Overheard by: og pimp |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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