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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,379 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:13 pm Post #12921 |
 
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You Put that Soul Back Where You Got It, Young Man! Little boy #1: You can't do it. Little boy #2: Yes, I can. Little boy #1: Fine! Steal my soul. Little boy #2: Don't underestimate my powers. --The Grotto, Tobermory, Ontario, Canadia Overheard by: Lorraine |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:14 pm Post #12922 |
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And I Think You Owe Me an Apology Mom to little boy: You do not pee on somebody unless they ask you to! --Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina Overheard by: mad-the-hatter |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:16 pm Post #12923 |
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The Traffic Lets Up, But Breathing Becomes Difficult Guy on cell: When the freeway ends, turn left...Yes, the freeway ends....Because the continent ends, dipshit. --Hermosa Beach, California |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:16 pm Post #12924 |
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Your Grandfather and I Turned Out Okay Grandmother: So you're not in a fight anymore? Little boy, hugging little girl: We're gettting married! Grandmother: But you're cousins. Little boy: No, I mean when we're older. Grandmother: But you'll still be...Never mind. --Ortley Beach, New Jersey |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:16 pm Post #12925 |
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Mom's Backup Plan was to Pretend to Drown Girl: Am I going to have big boobs? Flat-chested mom: Um, probably not. Girl: But boys like big boobs! Flat-chested mom: Only dumb boys do, because only dumb girls have big boobs. Girl, after thinking for a minute: Grandma has huge ones. Flat-chested mom: Oooh, look at the pretty birds! --Panama City Beach, Florida |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:17 pm Post #12926 |
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Like a Bump and Grind Moron, or a Quick Fingerbang Moron? Guy #1: Have you ever had sex on the beach? Guy #2: The drink or actual sex? Guy #1: Actual sex. Guy #2: With a girl? Guy #1: What the hell else would I mean?! Yeah, with a girl! Guy #2: Like, actually having sex on the sand, like, right here. Guy #1: Yeah, like in the sand with a girl on the beach, having sex. Guy #2: You mean, like, full-on bump and grind sex or a quick fingerbang? Guy #1: Sex, man, sex! Guy #2: Because there are many types of sex, like anal and oral... Guy #1: Full f#cking sex! Just answer the question! Have you had sex on the beach? Jesus! Guy #2: No, man, I haven't. Guy #1: You're a f#cking moron. --Panama City, Florida Overheard by: walking behind them trying not to bust a gut |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:18 pm Post #12927 |
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But Don't Tell Him About the Time We F#cked! Chick #1: You were a complete whore last night. Chick #2: Look who's talking! Do I have to mention the time you let Derek go down on you? Chick #1: Bitch! That guy over there can hear you! Chick #2: So what? Chick #1: Listen to how you're talking about me and my brother. He's gonna think I'm a complete skank! Chick #2: I said Derek. He didn't know who the f#ck Derek was until you opened your f#ckin' mouth. Chick #1: Uh, yeah, I guess you're right... --Panama City Beach, Florida Overheard by: That guy over there |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:18 pm Post #12928 |
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Will I Be Able To Remember You Afterwards? Guy: Hey, beautiful ladies! My name is Sean. I run a company that increases the number of hits your website gets on search engines. I'm sure I could help you in your line of work What do you do? Woman: I'm a neurosurgeon. Guy: Hey, it's good to see that even a brain surgeon has time to head out to the beach. Let me show you how my company can help you get more business. Woman: I'm sure it can't. Guy: Well then, how 'bout I just give you my number? Woman: How about I just give you a lobotomy? --Nahant Beach, Massachusetts |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:19 pm Post #12929 |
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And Ladies Refer to It as 'Down Under' Girl: Mummy, do you have a hairy pee? Mummy: Make sure you never ask that again, especially when we have guests over for dinner. --Manly Beach, Sydney, Australia Overheard by: ohgodhaha |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:19 pm Post #12930 |
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That was a Platonic Bl*w Job chick #1: So yeah, Aaron* and Rachel* hooked up last night. chick #2: Oh my god! What a f*cking slut! chick #1: Didn't you and Rachel give Aaron a bl*w job last week, at the same time? chick #2: Yeah, so... Your point? chick #1: Oh, nevermind... Just wanted to know what you thought was slutty and what wasn't. --Boca Beach Club, Boca Raton, Florida Overheard by: glad i picked the boca hotel to stay at.. |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:19 pm Post #12931 |
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Oh, Honey, Don't Cry. They Only Eat the Dead Ones. Little girl: Lifeguard! Lifeguard! What do crabs eat? Lifeguard: Little girls. --Riis Park, New York |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:20 pm Post #12932 |
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They Go to Nude Country Clubs Naked guy: Do you know why I love going to nude beaches? Naked chick: Why? Naked guy: No Republicans. --Field 5, Robert Moses Beach, New York Overheard by: Stila |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:21 pm Post #12933 |
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How Moses Parted the Red Sea Girl, loudly: I need to pee, but I'm still too close to other people. --Virginia Beach, Virginia Overheard by: moving away quickly |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:21 pm Post #12934 |
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You Should've Seen Her... Her T!ts were Bzzz! Girl #1: Don't go skinny dipping here. Girl #2: Why not? That blind person is the only guy around. Blind guy: I'm blind, not deaf. Now I can use the sound of your voice to project an image of you naked in my head. [He pauses for a moment.] It's not pretty. --Westhampton Beach, Long Island, New York Overheard by: amanda fox |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:22 pm Post #12935 |
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I Fought the Law...and the Fight Was Postponed Burly guy: One good thing about this trip: at least it ain't Jersey. Girlfriend: Jersey's not that bad! Burly guy: Easy for you to say, there's not a warrant out for you there. --Revere Beach, Revere, Massachusetts Overheard by: Staying far away from this guy... |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:22 pm Post #12936 |
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When Shown an Issue of Maxim, He Discovered He Was Mistaken Queer looking at screaming queer in water: Maybe I'm not gay. --Rehoboth Beach, Delaware Overheard by: laughing entirely too much |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:22 pm Post #12937 |
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They're Not Pregnant -- It's Just the Parasites Guy: I wouldn't go in the water if I was you. Girl: Why? Guy: I think there's something in there that makes you pregnant. Girl: Why do you say that? Guy points to large group of pregnant women. Girl: Oh... --Coralville Reservoir, Coralville, Iowa |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:22 pm Post #12938 |
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I Thought it was Pretty Unequivocal When I Achieved Penetration Girl: I had this weird dream about anal sex last night. I think it was from when you were joking around when I was bent over the sink before. Boy: I wasn't joking around. --Bradley Beach, New Jersey |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:23 pm Post #12939 |
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Holy Crap, I Thought I Was in the US! Girl: What kind of fish is this? Waitress: Alaskan cod. Girl: Do ya'll catch that around here? Waitress: Uh, no. [pointing] That's the Gulf of Mexico. --Seafood restaurant, Galveston Island, Texas |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Wed May 13, 2009 7:23 pm Post #12940 |
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They Seem So Happy...Oh, Wait... Teen girl #1: Oh, I'm so happy for Candice!* She finally has a normal boyfriend! Teen girl #2: Oh, that's nice...Wait, is it that 29-year-old E dealer you guys met at that rave in Chilliwack? Teen girl #1: Yes! Long pause. Teen girl #1: Well, it's normal for her, I guess. --English Bay, Vancouver, British Columbia |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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