 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,412 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 7:55 pm Post #12261 |
 
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This Can Not End Well, Part 2 Retail | Huntsville, AL, USA Me: “Thank you for calling ***, how can I help you today?” Caller: “Do y’all sell erotic films?” Me: “… No, sir.” Caller: “Hmm. You know where I can get some bullets?” Me: “Nowhere within a hundred miles of here!” *click* |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 7:56 pm Post #12262 |
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Stupidity Can Go Either Way Golf Course | Florida, USA Customer: “Excuse me. Do you have any left-handed golf balls?” Me: “Excuse me?” Customer: “I’m left-handed, and I need a left-handed ball. I don’t want my balls curving to the right all the time.” Me: “All the balls are the same. They’re round, and they don’t have a hand preference.” Customer: “Don’t f*** with me. I already had to search through all your clubs for a left-handed one, so where’s your left-handed balls?” Me: “…the dark green and the orange balls are left-handed.” Customer: “See? Was that so hard?” Me: *facepalm* |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 7:57 pm Post #12263 |
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You Can’t Always Love What You Do Pet Groomer | Richmond, VA, USA (While closing up shop alone one night, two gentlemen walked in and the following conversation took place.) Customer: “So, uh…how much experience do you need to groom dogs?” Me: “Well, none to start out. They start you as a bather, and then after about three months they send you through an academy to learn how to groom dogs.” Customer: “You gotta go to school for this?” Me: “Yes - it’s actually not as easy as it looks.” Customer: “You make a lot of money?” Me: “Well, that’s hard to say. We work on commission so…it just depends on how many dogs you can do in a week.” Customer 2: “You think if you’ve got a cruelty to animals charge, they’ll let you work here?” Me: “…no.” |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 7:57 pm Post #12264 |
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Bridging The Cultural Gap, One Angry Customer At A Time Tech Support | Boston, MA, USA Me: Hello, my name is ****. How may I assist you today? Customer: “Yeah, I’m trying to watch the baseball game, but it’s in Spanish. I don’t speak Spanish.” Me: “OK sir, have you tried to remove the SAP function on the TV? If you don’t know how, I can walk–” Customer: “Listen, I have had you people tell me this over and over again! I want a valid reason the game is in Spanish, and none of this ‘SAP’ junk.” Me: *gives up* “Well sir, the real reason is many of the players are not from America. How are they supposed to know what’s going on if the game is broadcast in English? Customer: “Thank you! At least one person there knows what’s going on. Have a nice day.” Me: “…” |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 7:58 pm Post #12265 |
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Please Burn Before Returning Retail | Phoenix, AZ, USA (I work at a large outdoor equipment store. I had an older woman approach the register with a female urinary device — which is used for winter mountaineering, so that women can use pee bottles in their tents.) Me: ”Howdy. Did you find everything you were looking for?” Customer: ”Well, I’m looking at this — do they work well?” Me: ”Uh, well, I imagine so, but I don’t have any experience with that product.” Customer: ”Can I return it if it doesn’t work?” Me: ”We have a 100% satisfaction guarantee on everything we sell here in the store. I will ask, however, that if you return it, you clean it first and double bag it!” |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 7:58 pm Post #12266 |
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How About We Get Them To Do An Irish Jig For You Supermarket | Israel (A customer is looking at the live fish swimming in the tank at the supermarket where my mom works.) Customer: “Are these fresh?” Mom: “They’re alive.” Customer: “But are they FRESH?” Mom: “… yes.” |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 7:59 pm Post #12267 |
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At Least He Can Tell Time Library | Ithaca, NY, USA College student: “Do you have any stamps?” Me: “No, I’m sorry. This is a library.” College student: “But I need to buy some stamps.” Me: “I can’t help you. We don’t sell stamps in the library. You should try the post office in [college building] tomorrow.” College student: “But I need the stamps now. Can’t I just have some stamps?” Me: “Listen, libraries don’t sell stamps. The post office will sell you stamps tomorrow morning when it opens. But right now, in this building, I can not sell you stamps.” College student: “So you’ll sell me stamps tomorrow?” Me: “Listen, you can’t even mail anything on a Sunday evening. Why don’t you come back later?” (Not surprisingly, he came back at 8 the next morning demanding stamps.) |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 7:59 pm Post #12268 |
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Chilly Reception Theater | Belfast, Ireland (I was working at the kiosk where we sell sweets and drinks when this transaction occurred with an old woman over the bottled water.) Customer: “Is that water cold?” Me: “Yes, it’s just out of the fridge.” Customer: “I don’t see a fridge.” (I gesture towards the fridge a few feet away from the kiosk.) Customer: “Can’t I just have one out of there?” Me: “Yeah, of course.” (I fetch her one out of the fridge.) Customer: “That doesn’t look too cold to me.” Me: “…well, you can feel for yourself, if you like. It really is quite cold.” Customer: “No. You do it.” (I put my hand against the bottle and then pretend to flinch.) Me: “You’re right, ma’am, it’s boiling hot. I’m very sorry about that.” Customer: “I’ll just have a Coke then.” Me: “…” |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 8:00 pm Post #12269 |
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Heal The Blind, Raise The Dead, & Now A Book Deal Bookstore | San Diego, Ca, USA Customer: “I’m looking for the autobiography of Jesus.” Me: “Um, do you mean a biography of Jesus?” Customer: “No! I want the AUTO-biography of Jesus! Where would it be?” Me: “Well, I guess you could try the Bible section…” |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 8:00 pm Post #12270 |
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Dealing With Customers Is Child’s Play Sales | Eugene, OR, USA Me: “Thank you for calling ****, this is ****, how may I help you?” Customer: *laughing hysterically* “Is there a grown-up there?” Me: “Excuse me?” Customer: *still laughing* “Is there a grown-up there? You sound like a child!” Me: “Oh, thank you ma’am, but I’m an adult. What can I help you with?” Customer: “Are you sure? You sound like you’re three! What do they do, hire children?” Me: “No, I’m 22 actually. What can I do for you?” Customer: “Pass me to someone who sounds like an adult.” Me: “I don’t think we’ll be able to help you.” *hangs up* |
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| Gummy | Mon May 11, 2009 1:06 am Post #12271 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Mon May 11, 2009 1:06 am Post #12272 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Mon May 11, 2009 1:07 am Post #12273 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Mon May 11, 2009 1:07 am Post #12274 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Mon May 11, 2009 1:07 am Post #12275 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Mon May 11, 2009 1:07 am Post #12276 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Mon May 11, 2009 1:07 am Post #12277 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Mon May 11, 2009 1:08 am Post #12278 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Mon May 11, 2009 1:08 am Post #12279 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Mon May 11, 2009 1:08 am Post #12280 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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