 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,414 Views) | |
| Ltpondwater9 | Sun May 10, 2009 6:23 pm Post #12221 |
**Tomahawk Chop**
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| Ltpondwater9 | Sun May 10, 2009 6:23 pm Post #12222 |
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**Tomahawk Chop**
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Guess. |
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| Ltpondwater9 | Sun May 10, 2009 6:31 pm Post #12223 |
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**Tomahawk Chop**
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 6:39 pm Post #12224 |
 
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This Also Works on Her Alarm Clock Chick: We missed our stop. Guy: You slept right through it. Chick: Why didn't you wake me up? Guy: I tried, you wouldn't wake up. You just showed me your p#ssy. Chick: That sounds like me. --N train Overheard by: shewuzshaved |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 6:40 pm Post #12225 |
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Especially with all the Stains on my Clothes Guy #1: We could go by Mike's Guy #2: Which Mike? Fun Mike or Shitty Mike? Guy #1: I always forget which one is which with you. Guy #1: Fun Mike always pays for everything... Shitty Mike always has no money and throws up. Guy #2: You'd think I could keep that straight. --Bloomingdale's, 60th & 3rd Ave |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 6:42 pm Post #12226 |
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Woman to old lady: Put your shoes on so your pants don't fall off. --Ladies' bathroom, Manhattan Mall |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 6:43 pm Post #12227 |
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Guy: I wanna go to a zoo where all the animals are wearing pants. --Prospect Park Zoo Overheard by: Valerie Fasone |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 6:44 pm Post #12228 |
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Tourist dad: Did you see that thing? It just went--Zip!--Right up his pant leg! --23rd & 6th Overheard by: Stephen Distinti |
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| Ltpondwater9 | Sun May 10, 2009 6:44 pm Post #12229 |
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**Tomahawk Chop**
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..I'm a Cowboy, On a steel horse I ride, I'm Wanted, yeah, Dead or Alive... |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 6:44 pm Post #12230 |
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Older man on cell: OK, let me know what Margot says and let me know if my pants are there. --Chinatown Overheard by: Elise |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 6:44 pm Post #12231 |
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Doctor to wife: I had a patient bleed on these pants today; should I wash them tonight? --L Train Overheard by: Jason |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 6:45 pm Post #12232 |
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Suit #1 to suit #2: The first thing to come to my mind is: I have a girlfriend, she has a boyfriend, how can I get into her pants one last time? --Downtown 4 train Overheard by: Michael O'Connor |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 6:47 pm Post #12233 |
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Teen girl on cell: So then he wanted me to go down on him and I said, "OK." He pulls down his pants, and let me tell you, girl, I could not stop laughing. --Court & Atlantic, Brooklyn Overheard by: Size always matters |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 6:47 pm Post #12234 |
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NY Age of Consent Is 17 -- Coincidence? Girl #1: So when was your first kiss? Girl #2: My 17th birthday. Girl #1: How about your first time making out? Girl #2: Also my 17th birthday. Girl #1: ...first bl*wjob? Girl #2: This is awkward. 17th birthday, again. Girl #1: How about when you lost your virginity? Girl #2: 17th. Girl #1: How about the first time you -- Girl #2: I know what you're about to ask, and the answer is "my 17th birthday" again. Girl #1: God damn! What the hell did you do for your 18th birthday? --R train |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 6:49 pm Post #12235 |
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Gangstas, Inc. Soon Learned Not to Hold Public Staff Meetings Gangsta wannabe #1: Yo, man, I gotta get me a new Sidekick. Gangsta wannabe #2: Yo, you mean buy one or rob one? Gangsta wannabe #1: Yo, rob one, fool! Gangsta wannabe #2: So rob one then! Gangsta wannabe #1: I will soon! Very nervous white guy in suit right in front of them quickly slips his Sidekick into his pocket. --86th & 2nd Overheard by: Peter |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 6:49 pm Post #12236 |
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...He Squeaked, as he Wiped Off His Chin Girl #1: Everyone always criticizes my choice in men. I get so sick of it; there's nothing wrong with Tom. Girl #2: He looks like Hitler, he drools, he's always whining and making high-pitched noises, and everyone keeps putting him down, and he never even stands up for himself. Girl #1: He may be a total loser and a freak but he still has some redeeming qualities. Plus if I didn't date him no one else would. Tom: Thanks. --Grand Central Overheard by: Upstate Gambler |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 6:50 pm Post #12237 |
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You Think She'd Hook Up With Me? Sister #1: You know what Auntie Cathy* said last week? She said that, back in the 40's, Aunt Mary* was a huge slut! She said, and I quote, "She had the clap so many times it amounted to applause." Sister #2: And I thought the only hobby she ever had was crocheting those ugly stuffed animals. --Quizno's, 14th & 3rd |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 6:51 pm Post #12238 |
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The Fallacy of Insufficient Sample Size Guy: I was seeing her for a while, but it just wasn't working out. I guess I'm not over Jessica. Girl: What? Guy: What do you mean, what? Girl: I thought you were gay. Guy: Oh, because I'm a hairdresser. How original. Just because I'm a hairdresser you think I'm gay. Girl: No. I thought you were gay because when I stayed at your house four years ago I woke up and saw you f*cking Matt in the ass! Guy: Oh my God. Matt and I have never talked about that night. --9th & B Overheard by: GavinM |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 6:52 pm Post #12239 |
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Dad Also Says You're 'Moody' and That He's a 'Problem Drinker' Tourist kid: Mom, am I fat? Tourist mom: Yes. Now get in the airplane. Tourist kid: Dad says I'm husky. Tourist mom: That means fat. --U.S.S. Intrepid |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 10, 2009 7:31 pm Post #12240 |
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from notalwaysright.com Ironically, She Was Seeing Get Smart Movie Theater | Dayton, OH, USA (I’m finishing a transaction with a customer at the movie theater.) Me: “… and would you like to make a donation to [charity] today?” Customer: “Well let me ask you something: do YOU donate to charity?” Me: “Yes, of course. I donate to this one as well as several others.” Customer: “Well, do YOU work for any charitable organizations?” Coworker: “Actually she works with the mentally handicapped and developmentally disabled 40 hours per week.” Customer: “Oh really? Where?” Coworker: “Here.” Customer: “I really don’t appreciate that!” |
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