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Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,417 Views)
AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 4:19 pm Post #12161
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	But Now It's a Box of Parts on Their Way to Mexico Cop, taking report of stolen car: Ok, what was the color, make and model? Metro Guy: It's cranberry and... Cop: Cranberry's something you eat, son, your car was red. --L.I.C. Overheard by: Jatmos



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 4:20 pm Post #12162
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Witty Repartee Is One of the First Things to Go When the Brain Doesn't Get Enough Glucose Anorexic girl: What, you couldn't afford an entire outfit? Obese woman in Britney Spears get-up: What, bitch, you couldn't afford an entire meal? Anorexic girl: [silence] --Uptown E train



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 4:20 pm Post #12163
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	I Have Had It With These Motherfcking Mongooses Foiling My Motherfcking Terrorist Plots Airport security guard #1: Hey, I gotta get me a mongoose. Airport security guard #2: Yeah, man. Gotta keep them cobras off them planes. --JFK



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 4:21 pm Post #12164
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	I Said I Just Whacked Off Coworker #1: So what've you been up to? Coworker #2: The usual. Just whacked off. Coworker #1: Dude, you're on speakerphone. --Office, Midtown Overheard by: Madeline



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 4:22 pm Post #12165
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	He Sees You As an Alternative Target, Not Protection Chinese guy: Hey, now that you're here we can go to Sylvia's in Harlem and get some soul food. Black guy: What do you mean, "now that I'm here"? What, you can't go to Harlem by yourself, but now that you've got your token black you're safe? That's f*cked up. Chinese guy: Let me ask you something: would you go to Harlem alone at night? Black guy: OK, that's not the point. --Chinatown Overheard by: Ricky



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 4:22 pm Post #12166
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	How Jared Was Shamed Into Living Kid on cell: I am about to kill myself because of you! Hobo in wheelchair: Do it! Do it! You haven't got the balls! --Prince between Mulberry & Mott Overheard by: Hashashin



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 4:23 pm Post #12167
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Excerpt from The Duke Lacrosse Player's Guide to Party Etiquette Drunk girl: People thought I looked good? Guy: Yeah! Drunk girl: How do you know? Guy: Because they gave you money and licked stuff off your breasts. --140th & Broadway Overheard by: Logan



Gummy	Sun May 10, 2009 4:23 pm Post #12168
Me in 10 years^^^ Posts: 29,655 Group: Nu Trek Nirvana Member #706 Joined: July 23, 2007



Gummy	Sun May 10, 2009 4:23 pm Post #12169
Me in 10 years^^^ Posts: 29,655 Group: Nu Trek Nirvana Member #706 Joined: July 23, 2007



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 4:23 pm Post #12170
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Intercom voice: If you heard your name, or something that sounds like it could be your name, please board your plane. It is leaving! --AirTran gates, LaGuardia Airport Overheard by: Sebastian White



Gummy	Sun May 10, 2009 4:23 pm Post #12171
Me in 10 years^^^ Posts: 29,655 Group: Nu Trek Nirvana Member #706 Joined: July 23, 2007



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 4:23 pm Post #12172
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Security official: Okay, people, have your boarding passes out! If you don't have your boarding passes out, I'm sending you to Amtrak! --Security screening line, LaGuardia Airport Overheard by: Beth T



Gummy	Sun May 10, 2009 4:24 pm Post #12173
Me in 10 years^^^ Posts: 29,655 Group: Nu Trek Nirvana Member #706 Joined: July 23, 2007



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 4:24 pm Post #12174
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Pilot, on crowded runway: Welcome to the parking lot known as LaGuardia Airport. --LaGuardia Tarmac



Gummy	Sun May 10, 2009 4:24 pm Post #12175
Me in 10 years^^^ Posts: 29,655 Group: Nu Trek Nirvana Member #706 Joined: July 23, 2007



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 4:24 pm Post #12176
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Pilot: The mist you are seeing is caused by a difference in temperature. The temperature outside is different from the temperature inside. Once we close the door and prepare for take-off, the mist will disappear, which will make us very sad because we like mist. --Jetblue flight into New York Overheard by: Denise



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 4:25 pm Post #12177
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Pilot: Good afternoon, passengers. We are about to make our final descent into John F. Kennedy International Airport, so buckle your seatbelts and hold on tight. --Flight into JFK Overheard by: frequent flyer



Gummy	Sun May 10, 2009 4:25 pm Post #12178
Me in 10 years^^^ Posts: 29,655 Group: Nu Trek Nirvana Member #706 Joined: July 23, 2007



Gummy	Sun May 10, 2009 4:25 pm Post #12179
Me in 10 years^^^ Posts: 29,655 Group: Nu Trek Nirvana Member #706 Joined: July 23, 2007



Gummy	Sun May 10, 2009 4:26 pm Post #12180
Me in 10 years^^^ Posts: 29,655 Group: Nu Trek Nirvana Member #706 Joined: July 23, 2007



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