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Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,421 Views)
AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:42 pm Post #12081
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Hardly. He Could Have Said the Suitcase Was Full of Jessica Simpson CDs. Younger black man with suitcase: I just want you all to know that I am getting on the train with a suspicious package. Older black man, not looking up from his newspaper: Nigg@, that is the stupidest thing you could have said. --Downtown 1 train Overheard by: observing on the 1



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:43 pm Post #12082
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Although I Do Recognize a Treasure Chest When I See One Mother with little girl: Excuse me. My daughter wants to know if you're a pirate. Woman wearing bandana: No. I'm just a lesbian. --Crema Restaurante, 17th & 6th



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:43 pm Post #12083
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Hipster on cell: Yo, eggplant can be vegetarian, right? --77th between 2nd & 3rd Overheard by: Anonymous Ambivore



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:43 pm Post #12084
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Middle-Aged woman: Damn vegetarians, always trying to take over the world. --Starbucks, 51st & Broadway Overheard by: Emaline



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:43 pm Post #12085
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Girl: Are bums allowed to be vegetarian? --Chipotle, 6th Ave between 21st & 22nd Overheard by: Rabid-Panda



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:44 pm Post #12086
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Guy: She's vegetarian?! I thought she was an alcoholic? --B7 bus



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:44 pm Post #12087
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Shrewd observer: You've had way too much c#ck in your mouth to be vegan. --Outside The Lucky Cat, 245 Grand St, Williamsburg Overheard by: Constintina



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:45 pm Post #12088
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Shoeshine man to group of young people: It ain't natural. Our bodies, they have the hormones to digest meat. If we were like a goat--and not to insult you, miss, 'cause you're prettier than a goat--but then that's okay that we don't eat meat. But we ain't. We're carnivores. If you're a vegetarian, you gotta listen to your body. It's tellin' you: "Meat me!" You know, like, "Meat me!" --Washington Square Park Overheard by: jacqmander



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:45 pm Post #12089
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Retail Therapy Soothes Even the Most Troubled Upper East Side Soul Upper-East-Side lady on cell: I know, but I was at a funeral all day...Yeah, it was sad, but I really didn't know him at all...This saddest thing was seeing his daughters upset. They're the same ages as--Wow! This shirt is only $19!! You can't even buy a freaking Frappuccino for $19! I'm getting it in blue. --Banana Republic, 86th & 3rd Overheard by: DC



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:46 pm Post #12090
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	So He Broke into the Lubelski, Followed by a Vigorous Polka Little girl, pointing to grab holds: Look, Dad, monkey bars! Little boy: I wanna play on the pole! No, you can't too, this is my pole! Dad: Bobby, everyone can play on the pole! Little girl: Bobby, go back to your pole! Little boy: Fine! Look, Dad, I'm a pole dancer! --PATH train, World Trade Center



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:46 pm Post #12091
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	France Just Seems Small, Because It's So Easy to Conquer Customer You Greek? Waitress: Greek Orthodox. Customer: So you're Greek. Waitress: No, that's my religion, they call it Greek Orthodox. Customer: But you're from Greece, right? Waitress: No, Belarus. Customer: Russia? Waitress: Belarus. It's the former USSR. It's between Russia and Poland. Customer: I never heard of it. It must be very small. Waitress: It's not small. Customer: It must be very small. Waitress: It's the size of France. France is quite big, actually. Customer: I better look at a map. Waitress: Yeah, you'd better. --Diner, Park Slope



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:46 pm Post #12092
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Mom Used up Her Niceties on the First Few Kids Small child in stroller: Mommy, why did you wake me up? Don't wake me up when I'm sleeping! Mom: Fine. I'll leave you on the train and you can miss your stop and then the rats will get you. --Brooklyn bound Q train Overheard by: djingo



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:47 pm Post #12093
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Man boarding bus to driver: You better not go flippin' this bitch over! --Fung Wah Bus, Chinatown Overheard by: Rose Fox



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:47 pm Post #12094
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Young mom: No! I will sit down! You're a kid, you don't even have to pay to ride the bus. I did, so I'm sitting! Move! --M60 Bus



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:47 pm Post #12095
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Bus driver: Everyone get on the bus, I got a schedule. For those of you sneaking on in the back, can you at least do it fast? I've got places to be. --B45 Bus Overheard by: Robin M.



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:48 pm Post #12096
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Driver of a Chinatown bus : Does anyone know how to get out of the city? --Broadway



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:49 pm Post #12097
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Feminism Didn't Die, It's Living Comfortably as a Stay-at-Home Mom in White Plains Girl #1: I am like, totally addicted to Days of our Lives. Girl #2: Really? Girl #1: Yeah, but I am so fcked up, because this one character totally got fired and they put another guy in his place. I can't even watch him, because, you know, he's not the same guy. Girl #2: Really? Girl #1: Yeah, it's really fcked up my TV viewing schedule. I mean, what am I going to watch, one of the judge shows? Girl #2: Well, you could go to class or study instead.... Girl #1: I don't need to. I'm studying to be a second wife. That girl's shoes are so cute. They would match my bag. Excuse me, where'd you get those shoes? Girl #3: My husband. Girl #1: See, class dismissed. --53rd St & 3rd Ave Overheard by: Kimbers614



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:49 pm Post #12098
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Conductor: This is an express, uptown C train. You heard right: an express C train. Next stop: 125th Street. If you need local service on the Upper West Side, please transfer across the platform to the D, as in "Daddy done did it" or B, as in "bad boy Bobby Brown" train. --C train, 59th St



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:49 pm Post #12099
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Conductor: This is a Brooklyn bound B train. Like bitch. --B train



AWOLangel	Sun May 10, 2009 1:50 pm Post #12100
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Conductor: We are currently being held in the station because of some other A train f*cking us all over. --Uptown A train Overheard by: la di da



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