 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,428 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Sat May 9, 2009 3:52 pm Post #11941 |
 
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The (Brain) Damage Has Already Been Done Emergency Call Center | Germany (Note: 1-1-2 is Germany’s version of 9-1-1.) Me: “1-1-2, what’s your emergency?” Caller: “Oh my god! Help me! Help me!” Me: “Calm down, please. Can you tell me what happened, if someone is hurt and where you are?” Caller: “I’m at home, and my brain stopped working!” Me: “Your brain…stopped working? Sir, if your brain would stop working, you would be dead. Can you tell me exactly what happened? Are you bleeding?” Caller: “No, no. But my brain stopped working! At least half of it! Oh my god, will the other half stop working as well?! Will I die?! My wife was right! I can’t believe it!” (At this point, I’m unsure what to do. The man is really in a state of panic, but sounds otherwise fine.) Me: “Sir, is your wife at home? Can I speak to her? If not, please tell me exactly what you did when your…brain stopped working.” Caller: “I watched soccer! And drank beer! My wife always told me ‘When you don’t stop that crap, your brain will stop working’ and now it did! I was sitting on the couch and turned my head to look at the clock and suddenly I can’t move my head anymore because the left side of my brain stopped working! Help!” Me: “Sir, it sounds like you only cricked your neck!” (I start describing him what a cricked neck feels like and he agrees that this is indeed his problem and that he’ll see a doctor in the morning. I’m about to end the call, when…) Caller: “Hey, dude…” Me: “Yes?” Caller: “Is she right?” Me: “Who?” Caller: “My wife. You seem to know a lot about medicine and stuff, so can my brain really stop working from watching too much soccer and drinking beer?” Me: “Well, alcohol is known for indeed killing brain cells when you drink too much, but you won’t–” Caller: “Oh my god! Thank you! I thought she was only kidding me, but when you say it, then I’ll stop! Thank you so much for saving my life! Thank you!” Me: “Wait, I didn’t say–” Caller: *hangs up* |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 9, 2009 3:52 pm Post #11942 |
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While We’re At It, Let’s Find Your Lost Marbles Too Grocery Store | Springfield, VT, USA (I’m a cashier at a grocery story and recently lost my voice. I just cashed out the following customer…) Customer, to supervisor: “She was very rude! She didn’t speak to me once during the order!” Supervisor: “I apologize for the inconvenience, ma’am, but this cashier has lost her voice.” Customer: *totally serious* “Oh. Are you looking for it?” |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 9, 2009 3:53 pm Post #11943 |
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What’s A Few Years Hard Labor Anyway Insurance Call Center | Minneapolis, MN, USA (Note: I work in the call center of a major insurance company.) Customer: “I just received this form…what does it mean?” Me: “That is letting you know how much interest income you received last year that we reported to the IRS.” Customer: “But, I don’t want the IRS to know!” Me: “I’m sorry, but we’re legally obligated to report that information to the IRS.” Customer: “Do you do everything the government tells you to?!” Me: “Umm…yes?” |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 9, 2009 3:54 pm Post #11944 |
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Ultra Short Term Memory Tech Support | Belgium Caller: “I forgot the password for my computer. Can you help?” Me: “Sure, let me just get your account information and you can enter a new password.” Caller: *gives me her information* Me: “Okay, you can enter a new password now.” Caller: “Okay, done.” Me: “Well, tha–” Caller: “S***! I forgot it again!” |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 9, 2009 3:54 pm Post #11945 |
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Sticky, Tricky and Picky Retail | New Jersey, USA (I was working in Customer Service, and a woman walked up with a Nintendo DS and her receipt. She had our protection plan purchased, so I sent her to one of the agents to take a look at it. The following conversation took place.) Agent: “Hello ma’am, how can I help you today?” Customer: “I need you to take a look at my son’s DS. It isn’t working anymore.” Agent: “Well, let’s see here.” *opens the DS and clears his throat* “Uh, ma’am? There’s jelly in here…” Customer: “Oh! I know! My son was playing his DS while eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and dropped it on the DS. Is it unfixable? Am I going to have to get a new one? Can I get a DSi instead?” Agent: “We can’t do anything for it, actually.” Customer: *starting to get angry* “Why not?” Agent: “This protection plan does not cover accidental damage.” Customer: “This is ridiculous! I am not paying for another DS! You’re doing something for me!” Agent: “I’m sorry, but I can’t. Like I said before, we don’t cover anything accidental.” Customer: “Then I did it on purpose! Will you fix it now?!” Agent: *sliding the DS back to the customer* “No…” |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 9, 2009 3:55 pm Post #11946 |
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Over The Gray, Bland Rainbow Video Store | Maryland, USA Customer: “Something is wrong with this movie - the box said it was in color, but it’s black and white.” Me: “Haven’t you ever seen ‘The Wizard of Oz’ before?” Customer: “No, but it says ‘color’ on the box.” Me: “The beginning is in black and white - it will turn to color.” Customer: “Well, that’s just stupid.” |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 9, 2009 3:55 pm Post #11947 |
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Serf and Turf Coffee Shop | Carlsbad, NM, USA Customer: “Where are all of your baked goods?!” Me: “We’re going to be closing here in about five minutes, and we usually don’t bring out any fresh baked goods at this time–” Customer: “Well, in Europe they bake all day long!” Me: “Well…we do things a bit differently in America. Would you perhaps like some of our half-priced baked goods?” Customer: “Eh, no…what’s this thing?” *pointing* Me: “A baguette.” Customer: “Yeah, I’ll have that.” Me: “OK…would you like me to cut that up for you and give you some butter?” Customer: “Nah, I’ll just bite chunks off of it.” Me: “…” |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 9, 2009 8:58 pm Post #11948 |
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for the redneck trekfan? |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 9, 2009 9:00 pm Post #11949 |
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ouch! |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 9, 2009 9:02 pm Post #11950 |
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what people say about serial killers |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 9, 2009 9:06 pm Post #11951 |
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for the promiscuous trek fan |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 9, 2009 9:07 pm Post #11952 |
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the UFP symbol |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 9, 2009 9:12 pm Post #11953 |
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if you go to a lot of cons |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 9, 2009 9:14 pm Post #11954 |
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for bad dogs |
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| AWOLangel | Sat May 9, 2009 9:17 pm Post #11955 |
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always a good idea |
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| magentastorm | Sat May 9, 2009 9:22 pm Post #11956 |
Randomer than you since 1992
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 OMG! So sad! But so funny! 
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| Gummy | Sun May 10, 2009 8:09 am Post #11957 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sun May 10, 2009 8:09 am Post #11958 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sun May 10, 2009 8:09 am Post #11959 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sun May 10, 2009 8:09 am Post #11960 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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