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Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,448 Views)
Ltpondwater9
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AWOLangel
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You Can't Spell "Intoxication" Without "Toxic"

Guy to girl sipping drink: Can I try some? (takes a sip) That tastes like the stuff I used to get lice out of my hair!
Girl, taking another sip: Yeah, it totally does!
Another girl at table: Gimme some!

--Union Square

Overheard by: Another Andy Samberg Fan
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AWOLangel
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When Woodsy Owl Drinks

Little boy in bathroom stall: Knock knock.
Mom in bathroom stall: Who's there?
Little boy in bathroom stall: I pooped in my pants!

--Ellen's Stardust Diner, Times Square
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AWOLangel
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Nothing Personal

Hobo, standing too close: Don't worry, pretty girl, you ain't got nothing to be scared of. I won't hurt you.
Pretty girl: Oh, I'm not. (smiles) But you should be terrified, 'cause I'll f*ck you up.

--14th St

Overheard by: Lucy Lurks
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AWOLangel
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They're Like the Ocean-- the Pressure's Strongest on the Bottom

Girl: It's so good to see you! I'm so glad you're coming to the party!
Guy #1: Me too! I'm excited.
Girl: But we should warn you--there's a very good chance this could turn into an orgy.
Guy #2: Not to put any pressure on you.
Guy #1: I mean, that's awesome. I've never been to an orgy before.

--NJ Transit

Overheard by: Flustered Commuter
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AWOLangel
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from overheardattheoffice.com

5PM I Keep Mine in a Jar in the Office Fridge

Coworker #1: I don't get paying money to play WoW. You're essentially paying for the satisfaction of clicking a button.
Coworker #2: Exactly, that's why I use that money for porn.
Coworker #1: True, at least when you're done with porn you have something to show for it.

Rochester, New York

Overheard by: Rick
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AWOLangel
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4PM Well, What's That Metal Thing Sticking Out Of Your Head?

Coworker #1: What are you talking about?
Coworker #2: I'm telling them how my parents almost aborted me.
Coworker #3, walking in: What are you guys talking about?
Coworker #2: It's a survival story!

Branchburg, New Jersey
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AWOLangel
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3PM The "Enter" Key's Somewhere Near the Middle Of Your Keyboard, Sir

Tech on phone: Please click start, type "cmd" and press enter. (pause) It should have brought up a command prompt. (pause) Nothing yet? Hmmm. Let me remote in. (starts laughing uncontrollably) Sir, you have to type "cmd" and press the enter key. Typing "cmdandpressenter" will not work. Sorry I wasn't more clear.

Dodge St
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: northern lad
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