 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,507 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Sun May 3, 2009 8:12 pm Post #10361 |
 
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from notalwaysright.com It Only Goes Downhill From Here Grocery Store | Bedford, IN, USA (I’ve just finished bagging a man’s groceries in two paper bags.) Me: “Have a great night!” Customer: “Paper bags? NEVER bag my groceries in paper bags!” Me: “…” Customer: “If you ever do this again, I’ll kill you! I’ll blow your head off! I have guns!” Me: “…” (Two weeks later, the store hired him. I quit.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 3, 2009 8:12 pm Post #10362 |
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What A Kilo-Moron Pizza | Vancouver, BC, Canada Customer: “Hi, can you tell me how big an order of breadsticks is?” Me: “Well, a small is 6, and a large is 12.” (The customer and his wife confer for a moment before he turns back to me.) Customer: “We’re from the States; we don’t use the metric system. Can you convert it?” |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 3, 2009 8:13 pm Post #10363 |
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Driving Miss Crazy Bus | Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada (I was coming home on the bus and overheard a conversation between an elderly lady and the bus driver.) Lady: “Oof! Do you mind?! You’re so awful!” Bus Driver: “I’m sorry, ma’am? What’s the problem?” Lady: “You keep starting and stopping the bus! I keep falling forward and backward, and it’s taking so long for me to get home. It’s getting dark!” Bus Driver: “Well, I’m sorry ma’am - I have to stop at the designated stops.” Lady: “Stop making excuses! There’s no reason to be doing this. Just ignore the stops!” Bus Driver: “So you want me to ignore all the other people wanting to get on the bus?” Lady: “Well, yes! Finally you understand! You can go back afterwards and get them! Is it so much to ask for good help anymore?!” |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 3, 2009 8:14 pm Post #10364 |
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You No Challenge Tarzan Pet Store | Raleigh, NC, USA (I often wandered around the store with multiple animals to help socialize them. Most often I would have a rabbit on one shoulder, a parrot on the other and a few hamsters at hand. My boss never cared as long as I did my job and didn’t hurt anyone. I often did get odd looks, though.) Me: *walking up to customer* “Finding everything all right?” Customer: “…you’re covered in animals.” Me: “Yes. Yes, I am.” Customer: *stares for a moment longer* “…can you get me one of the large cages?” (I nab a stepladder and get the cage down, managing not to dislodge a single animal on my person.) Me: *handing customer the cage* “Here you go.” Customer: *looking disappointed* “Oh.” *wanders away* |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 3, 2009 8:15 pm Post #10365 |
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Refs -2, Player -4,530,503 Paintball | Coram, NY, USA (I work at an outdoor paintball field where the referees wear bright orange to differentiate ourselves from the players. Standing on the field, I start getting shot at. Patiently, I move and continue watching the game.) Player, to coworker: “Ref! Ref! I shot that dude in the orange and he won’t get out!” Coworker: ”That’s because he’s a referee. Notice the orange?” Player: ”Oh… okay, so check THIS guy! I just shot him too!” Coworker: “That is ALSO a ref.” |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 3, 2009 8:18 pm Post #10366 |
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May Contain Scenes Of Gratuitous Bowie Library | London, UK Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for this movie for my daughter: Pan’s Labyrinth. I heard it was very good.” Me: “Yes, it was very good.” Customer: “Do you think the girls would like it?” Me: “I don’t know, how old are they?” Customer: “Nine.” Me: “Uh, ma’am, Pan’s Labyrinth isn’t really a kids movie. It’s about the Spanish Civil War.” Customer: “The what?” Me: “The Spanish Civil War. General Franco. There’s a scene where a man gets his face beaten in.” Customer: “But in the previews it looks like a kid’s movie, like that other movie with puppets.” Me: “Do you mean Labyrinth?” Customer:“Yes!” Me: “That may be a better choice, trust me.” Customer: *leaves* Coworker: “I don’t know if David Bowie’s giant crotch is really safe for kids either…” |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 3, 2009 8:20 pm Post #10367 |
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Maybe He’s Molting Lifeguard | Springfield, VA, USA (Many young couples with young children belong to my pool, and many of them ask a lot of questions. A man leads his 6-year-old son into our guard office.) Pool patron: “Excuse me, ma’am?” Me: “Yes sir? Can I help you?” Pool patron: “I’m very scared my son is in trouble.” Me: “Is he okay? Did he hurt himself in the pool? Are there any major injuries?” Pool patron: “His skin is all wrinkled and soft. It feels strange. Is it going to fall off?” Me: “Sir, that happens to everyone’s skin who has been in water for an extended period of time.” Pool patron: “So his skin won’t fall off, right?” |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 3, 2009 8:20 pm Post #10368 |
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Ah, Grandmothers Clothing Store | Ohio, USA (I was working in the fitting room and overheard an obviously frustrated grandmother and her 7 year old granddaughter yelling at each other.) Grandmother: “Put on your d*** pants!” Girl: “No! I don’t want to!” Grandmother: “1…2…3…” Girl: “Nooooo! I hate you!” Grandmother: “Well, I hate you too, so we’re even!” |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 3, 2009 8:23 pm Post #10369 |
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A Blasphemer In The Church Of Chocolate Liquor Store | Anchorage, AK, USA Me: “Merry Christmas!” Customer: “That’s just garbage!” Me: “Happy Hanukkah?” Customer: “None of that s*** means anything!” Me: *still trying to be cheerful* “All the chocolate is half-off tomorrow!” Customer: “I don’t like chocolate!” *glares* |
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| AWOLangel | Sun May 3, 2009 8:23 pm Post #10370 |
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Rescue 911, Transylvania Edition 911 Operator | West Palm Beach, FL, USA (Note: South County is a psychiatric institution.) 911: “911, what is your emergency?” Caller: “Yeah, I’m sorry to bother you but I am checking into South County tomorrow. I’m afraid to go cause there is a guy who works there who wears a star and says he’s a vampire.” 911: “People are allowed to be vampires if they want to be, ma’am.” Caller: “Oh yeah? What if he tried to bite me?” 911: “Did he try to bite you?” Caller: “No.” 911: “Give us a call back if he tries to bite you.” |
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| Gummy | Sun May 3, 2009 11:49 pm Post #10371 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sun May 3, 2009 11:49 pm Post #10372 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sun May 3, 2009 11:49 pm Post #10373 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sun May 3, 2009 11:49 pm Post #10374 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sun May 3, 2009 11:49 pm Post #10375 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sun May 3, 2009 11:50 pm Post #10376 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sun May 3, 2009 11:50 pm Post #10377 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sun May 3, 2009 11:50 pm Post #10378 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sun May 3, 2009 11:50 pm Post #10379 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sun May 3, 2009 11:50 pm Post #10380 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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