 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,567 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 12:46 pm Post #9161 |
 
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...Whether They Wanted Them or Not Guy: You used to give everybody handjobs. Girl: I was the master. I didn't know I was that good until I was giving them to everybody. --Burp Castle, 7th St & 2nd Ave Overheard by: I didn't get one |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 12:48 pm Post #9162 |
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Translation: Nobody's Texting Me girl #1: Oh god! I just got a text from Jason. I want to write back something very biting and sarcastic. What about "shouldn't you be with your girlfriend right now?" girl #2: (silent) girl #1: Too much? girl #2: I don't care. --7th St & Ave A Overheard by: gregor |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 12:48 pm Post #9163 |
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Guess That Explains the Cloven Hoofs White girl to boyfriend: I want to go to my father's country one day...I want to go where my father was born...Hades. Boyfriend: Where? White girl: Hades, I wanna go to Hades where my father was born...you know, that little island in the Dominican Republic? --PATH |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 12:49 pm Post #9164 |
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My LCD Screen Is More Of an "Entertainment Experience" 20-something girl: So yeah, I'm finally going to the gym today. 20-something guy: I stopped going to the gym years ago. I have a Wii fit. 20-something girl: Cool. How's that working for you? 20-something guy (as if it were obvious): Oh, I don't have a tv. --21st & Broadway Overheard by: Alex |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 12:50 pm Post #9165 |
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Men: *Shudder* Girl to no one in particular: I want to have sexual intercourse with you. Friend: Sexual intercourse sounds like they want to put their balls inside your vagina too. --172 St & Jerome Overheard by: Emm |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 12:50 pm Post #9166 |
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Nobody Trusts a Chubby Hobo Guy from restaurant to hobo: Hey, do you want something to drink? Hobo: Sure, what do you have? Guy from restaurant: Pepsi, Coke, Sprite... Hobo: Anything diet? --75th & Broadway Overheard by: uneditedtales |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 12:51 pm Post #9167 |
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Just Keep the Veil Down and Hope for the Best Harried-looking maid of honor: You make the most beautiful blushing bride! Bridezilla: I'm not blushing! I have rosacea! --Ladies Room, Tavern On The Green Overheard by: Really was blushing... |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 12:51 pm Post #9168 |
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NYU professor with thick french accent: What's that drug called? Student: Viagra. NYU professor with thick french accent: Yeah, Viagra. Studies suggest that it stimulates organs in both males and females. Trust me, I know it works on both. --Washington Square South & LaGuardia Place |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 12:52 pm Post #9169 |
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Tween: I just didn't think it would be so...gooey. Tween friends, in unison: Ew! --Barnes & Noble, Bayside Overheard by: bookseller |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 12:58 pm Post #9170 |
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Like, What Are His Political Leanings? Charity volunteer: Would you like to sponsor this child? Grumpy man: I got three kids at home, and besides, I never even met this bastard! --Broadway at City Hall Overheard by: Darrin |
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| Gummy | Tue Apr 28, 2009 1:01 pm Post #9171 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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My, haven't you been just a busy girl. 
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| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 1:05 pm Post #9172 |
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Obama Could Be the Name Of Our Llama Woman to kid holding a "free hugs" sign: Hey! Where's my hug? (kid hugs woman) Drunk chick: There's so much f*cking love, we should just buy a llama and it'll be like our llama, you know? --W 4th St |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 1:15 pm Post #9173 |
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And Welcome Back, Adam. Professor, talking about Genesis: We covered the reason for loincloths last class. Student #1: Wait, why was that again? Professor: (silence) Student #2: Adam had an erection. Professor: Exactly. Thank you for cutting though the bullshit. --Eugene Lang College Overheard by: Colleen |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 1:15 pm Post #9174 |
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But I Didn't Even Get to the Part About Cones and Sex! Drunk girl #1: I would eat a hot dog on a cone. I would eat mashed potatoes on a cone. And it would be delicious, because of the cone. Drunk girl #2: They should put you away. --110th & Broadway |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 1:16 pm Post #9175 |
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Also Bernie Madoff's Prison Gang Name AIG employee: Hey, did you see they took down the AIG building sign? Friend: Why, because people were throwing eggs at it? AIG employee: No, they are considering a rebrand of the name. AIU: American International Underwriters. Friend: They should rename it "IOU." --Metro-North Train |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 1:18 pm Post #9176 |
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Remember That Oath Your Kindergarten Class Took at Bloomingdale's Precocious little girl: Mom, that lady is grooming the dog groomer! Pretentious mom: That makes sense. Do you see how some of the dog show women dress themselves? Would you want to be caught dead in some of their clothes and makeup? Precocious little girl: No. --Westminster Dog Show Grooming Area Overheard by: Wouldn't Be Caught Dead Either |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 1:19 pm Post #9177 |
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But Aunt Beth Has the Best Jugs Frat boy #1: Dude! Your sister is hot! Frat boy #2: I know, dude...so is my mom. --Grand Central Overheard by: Bone Cermark |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 1:51 pm Post #9178 |
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movie cliches Movie passengers either don't pay cabs at all, or have the exact change. Same is true in restaurants. Checks are always designed to be 15 percent under the bills the male costumer has in his hands first. |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 1:51 pm Post #9179 |
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Movie people can get cabs instantly, unless they are in danger, whereupon no cab can be found |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Apr 28, 2009 1:53 pm Post #9180 |
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There are always people carrying around large sheets of glass on the street during a car chase. |
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