 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,579 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:03 pm Post #8921 |
 
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From George Washington: The E! True Hollywood Story Suit #1, very seriously: And she was totally fixated on Martha. So I said to Martha, who swings both ways, you know, I said: "this girl is in serious need of some fanny," but the trouble is, she's found god. Suit #2: The worst coitus interruptus in the world! That Martha's a complete nutjob, though. Bookstore Liverpool England |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:05 pm Post #8922 |
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When They Do, It's Quickly and Sparsely. Girl sitting in front of lecture hall to professor, very matter-of-factly: People don't really use adverbs anymore. Evans Hall, UC Berkeley Berkeley, California Overheard by: the only one left |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:12 pm Post #8923 |
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Sometimes I Go Overboard with My Hoeing Sweet old lady: I'm a pretty wild gardener. Bellingham, Washington |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:12 pm Post #8924 |
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Don't Stop 'til After Your Story's Climax AP English teacher: Now, remember kids, what do I always say you all should do? Student: Procreate? AP English teacher: No! Well, eh...I do say that too, but I meant "proofread!" Northport, Long Island New York |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:13 pm Post #8925 |
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...And That He Watches According to Jim?? College sorostitute: Well, I thought we'd been dating for, like, 3 months. But then I looked at his Facebook profile, and it said "single." Non-slutty college friend: You had to use Facebook to... College sorostitute: Also, did you know he had a kid? Charleston, South Carolina Overheard by: Nuddles |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:16 pm Post #8926 |
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from overheardat the beach.com In a Perfect Sperm-Free Universe Russian lesbian #1: Oh, look at her! She's hot! What a gorgeous body she has! Russian lesbian #2: Oh, yeah, she is perfect! Russian lesbian #1: That's the kind of chick your daughter would go for in a minute. --Brighton Beach, New York Overheard by: Little Odessa |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:17 pm Post #8927 |
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Where Would Human Civilization Be Without That Phrase? Mom to young child eating a Popsicle: Stop putting that in your mouth! It's done, there's nothing left. Young woman nearby: That's what he said. --Long Beach Island, New Jersey Overheard by: Tara |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:18 pm Post #8928 |
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from overheardattheoffice.com 4PM Try a Used Dryer Softener Sheet; I'll Look the Other Way Office cleaning lady: Does anyone know how to clean mice balls? Arlington, Virginia |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:18 pm Post #8929 |
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3PM Remember When You Thought We Should Invade Australia? Female team leader: Hey, Mark. I've been thinking... Male team leader: Uh-oh. That's not good. Wellington New Zealand Overheard by: Derf |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:18 pm Post #8930 |
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2PM Neither Did Ronald Reagan. Coworker: Name three adjectives that you think best describe you. Intern prospect: Adjectives...is that like "beautiful"? Coworker: Uh, yeah... Intern prospect: Okay: I'm patient, organized and I'm a good communicator...but I don't know how to say that. Indianapolis, Indiana Overheard by: seriously |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:19 pm Post #8931 |
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1PM That's the Last Time I'll Buy a LieBook Boss: Why can't I open this file? Secretary: Because you did not click on the file. Boss: I swear this computer lies to me all the time! Baltimore, Maryland Overheard by: telling lies to the computer |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:19 pm Post #8932 |
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12PM I Realize It's Important to Set Stretch Goals Female boss on phone: I have never seen one that big, I don't think I can handle one that big. Pharmacy Atlanta, Georgia |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:19 pm Post #8933 |
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11AM Larry and Curly Warned Me That Moe Would Never Change... Male manager: I just love pushing your button! (sticks finger in his mouth, makes a popping sound and then makes a stabbing motion with it) Female supervisor: My husband does that, and it drives me bananas! North Phoenix, Arizona Overheard by: thatshowyoudoit? |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:20 pm Post #8934 |
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10AM What a Salary Review Feels Like to Your Employees Office drone to older coworker: I will beat you up and steal your meat, pop. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:20 pm Post #8935 |
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9AM It's Sweet That You Think You're Attractive, Bonnie Coworker: Oh, what a cute baby! Maybe you'll have a baby that cute! Pregnant coworker, looking at pic of cute baby on internet: I'm not counting on it. Coworker: Ummm...why? Pregnant coworker: Have you ever noticed how the most attractive people always have the ugliest babies? Yeah, I am not having a cute kid. Portland, Oregon Overheard by: Noodle |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:21 pm Post #8936 |
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5PM She'll Also Say This When She Gets a Pink Slip Legal secretary: And then the phone calls started to peter out. Paralegal: What? Peter? As in "d!ck"? Legal secretary: No! "Peter out" means "to come slowly to an end." Paralegal: Oh. (pauses) Still sounds a lot like a d!ck. Greenwood, South Carolina Overheard by: Wondering if everything has to be naughty |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:21 pm Post #8937 |
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3PM Or "Cuba"? Extremely loud cube rat: Okay, let me check on that for you. That is "c" as in "Sam"? Troy, New York Overheard by: Sneaker |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:22 pm Post #8938 |
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2PM How'd You Get That Scorpion Bite, Anyway? Photographer: Okay, but I might die if I don't get my knee sucked. Culver City, California Overheard by: LaLa Land |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:22 pm Post #8939 |
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1PM Meet the Inventors Of Copy Lube Copy editor #1: Looks like it's grown to eight inches. Copy editor #2: Eight inches? Eight inches is just too long. Copy editor #1: I know, we'll have to cut something from it. Copy editor #2, sighing: I'd hate to do it, but I just want it to fit in there. Boulder Avenue Tulsa, Oklahoma Overheard by: Wincing |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:23 pm Post #8940 |
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12PM From the New Musical by David Hasselhoff... Sick coworker, in sing-songy voice: Vodka and antibiotics ...what more could you neeeeeed? New York City, New York |
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