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Spam; 2.0
Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,580 Views)
AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 12:48 pm Post #8901
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	And/or Your Hand in Marriage? Cute 20-something Asian girl: I have a butt plug in right now. Slightly older male college student: Can I have your number? --34th & Broadway



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 12:48 pm Post #8902
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	And Then Ejaculated the Second He Put It On? Hipster girl: So afterwards he was like, "Hold up. Can I just stop in quickly and buy a vibrating c*ck ring?" Hipster friend: He did that to me too! --7th & Greenwich Overheard by: sounds like a good time



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 12:49 pm Post #8903
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	And I Have the T-Shirt to Prove It! Teenage lesbian: Yes you are, you're the weirdest person I ever met. You think I'm going to invite other people over when we already have plans, and you masturbate even when you get no sexual enjoyment out of it! Teenage lesbian friend: I am not a fapper! --W 59th St & Columbus Ave Overheard by: that must be terrible



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 12:49 pm Post #8904
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Which Is Exactly What Playboy Said in Their Rejection Letter Boyfriend: Well, what cup size are you? Girlfriend: I'm like an A and a half and a B and a half...it sucks. Boyfriend: So...that's a full AB plus one. Girlfriend: You know you can't combine unlike terms! --32nd St & 6th Ave Overheard by: Kimberly



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 12:50 pm Post #8905
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Now Where Will I Go to Get Drunk on Spring Break? Guy: So she told me she was from New Mexico. Blonde bimbo: New Mexico...what happened to the old Mexico? --42nd St Shuttle Overheard by: Chris



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 12:50 pm Post #8906
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Who Needs Performance Art When You Have Hobos? Hobo sitting on bench: Hey man, wanna buy some soap? Yuppie: Nah... (walks away) Hobo: Ma'am, would you care for some shoes? JAP: Hell, naw. (walks away) Hobo: Hey fella, want to buy some peanut butter? Old Asian guy, happily: Yes, please! Hobo: I'm sorry, brother, I don't have any on me. I just wanted to do some product research for a project I'm doing. (pulls out a roll of toilet paper and a sharpie, rips out one square of toilet paper, and writes "peanut butter") --23rd St



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 12:51 pm Post #8907
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	That's What You Said About Denim. Girl #1: Where is Jose, anyway? Girl #2: Boyfriended. Girl #1: Is that like an island or something? Girl #2: No, it's a state of being. --Manhattan Ave & India St



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 12:51 pm Post #8908
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Tap It Lightly? Vendor: Can I ask you a question? Girl: No. Vendor: Can I grab your ass? Girl: No. --Time Square



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 12:52 pm Post #8909
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	We Love This Kid Mother to young son: If daddy asks you why mommy's upset with him, you say it's because he doesn't take care of her. Young son: I ain't saying nothing. --B Train



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 12:53 pm Post #8910
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	I Know a Great Place Around Here That Does Deliveries Teenage girl #1: Oh my god, could you imagine having a baby, like, you know...inside of you? Teenage girl #2: Oh my god, no! Eeeww! Teenage girl #1: I know, right? But I would do it. Teenage girl #2: You would? You wouldn't mind them cutting into you? Teenage girl #1: They do that? Teenage girl #2: Yeah, you get cut open. It's called a Sicilian. --Uptown 6 Train Overheard by: Brandon



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:50 pm Post #8911
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	from overheardeverywhere.com Sweetie, I'm a Bottom. Asian girl, holding out fist: Pound it? Queer: Do I look like someone who pounds it? Asian girl, giggling: Ummmm... West Lafayette, Indiana Overheard by: Kole



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:50 pm Post #8912
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Where Do You Stand on Blinking V. Gatorade? College student: I think I hate sleep more than I hate Snapple. University of Delaware



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:51 pm Post #8913
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Especially an All-Girls' College? Smithie: Why do I go to college if my only ambition is to be a constantly drunk trophy wife? Smith College Northampton, Massachusetts Overheard by: Colleen



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:53 pm Post #8914
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Translation: "Welcome to New York, Muthaf*ckaaaas." MTA worker to tourist mom buying tickets with daughter: 10 dollars. Mom: Oh, but she's a student. Worker, looking at daughter: Oh! How nice for you! (looks back at mom) Ten dollars please. Subway Station New York City, New York Overheard by: Glad thats not my cheap-ass mom



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:55 pm Post #8915
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Because I'd Be Happy to Give You a Guided Tour Large middle-aged man with many teddy bears strapped to his fanny pack: Have you seen the penis worm? Smithsonian Museum of Natural History Washington, DC Overheard by: Hadn't seen it



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:56 pm Post #8916
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	That's What Wretching Means, Right? Guy with limp: I went up to a teacher and was like, "are you sexually aroused by my limp?" Friend: What did she say? Guy with limp: He didn't say anything, but I knew he was. Kingston High School Kingston, New York



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:57 pm Post #8917
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	After a Long Winter, the Root Cellar's Empty 20-something hipster to friend: So...I'm officially out of corpses. Friend: Dude! Portland, Maine my comment: sounds like something from a stephen king novel



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:01 pm Post #8918
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	At Least That's What It Said on the Package Girl in statistics class: She told me, "you're gay." How can I be gay? I had four--no, five and a half--servings of d!ck this morning. Saint Peter's College Jersey City, New Jersey



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:02 pm Post #8919
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Moving on to the Case Of Muffet V. Spider... Father to son in stroller: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall; Humpty Dumpty had a great fall; Humpty Dumpty hired a great lawyer; Humpty Dumpty sued the pants of the wall maker. K Street Washington, DC



AWOLangel	Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:03 pm Post #8920
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Yeah, Stop Emailing Me Those Photos. Drunk girl: Guess whose shirt I'm wearing! Sober friend: Whose? Drunk girl, without missing a beat: What? (15 minutes later) Drunk girl: I'm not even wearing a shirt! Dorm Room Wisconsin



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