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Spam; 2.0
Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,586 Views)
AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:29 pm Post #8781
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	..Unless You're Mrs. Claus. Teenager #1: There's no way for Santa to visit all the houses on earth; that's impossible. Teenager #2: He doesn't have to visit every house, though. Not everybody celebrates Christmas. Teenager #1: So? That would be like god saying "Muslims can go fck themselves, I only watch out for Christians." Teenager #3: Some people actually do believe that. Teenager #2: Yeah, I mean, if they don't celebrate Christmas, then... Teenager #1: You know, at the speed Santa would need to travel to deliver gifts to all those people, his sleigh would literally catch on fire. Teenager #2: Dude, see, it works like this... Teenager #1: No, here's how it works: there's no fcking Santa. Chino, California
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:31 pm Post #8782
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	You Are the Weakest Link. Goodbye. Spanish teacher: And you really have to be careful what you eat, because they have a lot of E. Coli problems. Teenage girl: E. Coli? Like in those commercials with the cough drops? Spanish teacher: What? Teenage girl: Y'know, like the "Eeee-coliiii..." Jersey Shore High School Pennsylvania Overheard by: shana yo mamma



AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:32 pm Post #8783
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	The One You Held Hands with During Our Slumber Party Fratboy wannabe #1, entering coffee shop, to friend: Dude, I was just attacked by Wes. Fratboy wannabe #2: Who's Wes? Do I know Wes? Fratboy wannabe #1: Yeah, yeah. Big guy, lives in our dorm. Fratboy wannabe #2: The one I gave a hug to last night? Fratboy wannabe #1: I don't know. I can't keep up. Golden Roast Knoxville, Tennessee Overheard by: Creeped-out Cara



AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:32 pm Post #8784
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	In Fact, I Eat Skinny People Hot girl in line #1: Oh my god, I was so bad today! I had two whole scoops of ice cream for lunch. Hot girl in line #2: You better watch it or you're not going to be able to fit into that cocktail dress you're buying. Fat woman behind them: I f*cking hate skinny people! Department Store Stockton, California



AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:33 pm Post #8785
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Well, It Was New to Us. Boyfriend, to girlfriend who has just ripped ass: Ugh! Baby! No, don't just walk away and leave me standing here, you can't just crop dust like that! Target Overland Park, Kansas



AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:35 pm Post #8786
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	fromoverheardatthebeach.com No, That's What Your Mother Refuses to Give Me Guy to daughter: Okay, here's one: Oink, oink! Daughter: That's a pig! Guy: Cock-a-doodle-do! Daughter: That's a...morning chicken. --Ocean City, Maryland Overheard by: Here4theLaughs



AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:36 pm Post #8787
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	To Be Fair, There Are Some Syringes in There, Too Tourist: What happened to the beach? It's like...buried in sand! --Mantoloking Beach, New Jersey Overheard by: Shanna



AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:36 pm Post #8788
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	fromoverheardinnewyork.com Geek speedwalking through rush-hour crowd with hands over head: Parasites, parasites, parasites! --34th St & 7th Ave Overheard by: it is what it is



AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:37 pm Post #8789
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	African-American lady: The secret life of... What? Who's "bees"? --Loews Kips Bay Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman



AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:37 pm Post #8790
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Female suit on cell: We're dealing with racist ladybugs here. --44th & Lexington Overheard by: LP421



AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:37 pm Post #8791
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Woman on cell: Oh, and by the way, I called my mother to thank her. (pause) No, I said, "Mom, I'm calling on behalf of me and the girls to thank you very much." (longer pause) Well, she can just go f*ck herself then. --90th & Amsterdam Ave



AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:38 pm Post #8792
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Man on cell: You know a guy really likes a girl when he takes her home to meet his mom...and you know what, Sheila? You ain't never gonna meet my mom. --South Slope, Brooklyn Overheard by: smfd



AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:38 pm Post #8793
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Female college student to friend: We really need to cougarize your mom. --111th & Broadway Overheard by: Oh really



AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:39 pm Post #8794
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Girl on cell: Yeah, I'm bussin' it for now, my mom's on this thing that I have to show her responsibility... I know, it's like I get up in the morning, I haven't gotten arrested in a while, and I have a job, what more do you want from me? --Seguine Ave & Waterbury, Staten Island



AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:39 pm Post #8795
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Lady on cell: I told her she was an ungrateful b-i-c-t-h! --14D Bus Overheard by: Evan Wilson



AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:40 pm Post #8796
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Really old man complaining to his wife: You'd rather watch CNN than have sex with me! --The Water Club, 30th & FDR Overheard by: Trying to have a romantic dinner date



AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:40 pm Post #8797
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Pretty girl on cell: Yeah, I got this really bad toothache...my gums are sore too. (pause) What do you mean what have I been putting in my mouth? (laughs) Well, nothing exciting, that's for sure! Maybe that's the problem. My mouth's probably going on strike cause it hasn't been getting any action. --F Train Overheard by: I wouldnt have minded putting something of mine in her mouth!



AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:40 pm Post #8798
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Girl on phone: I mean, if I don't fck him, who will? His bitch-ass girlfriend certainly won't. (pause) No, not even; she only got those piercings so she could put a fcking lock in it. --L Train



AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:41 pm Post #8799
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Random guy outside bedroom window: Just because I won't sleep with you doesn't mean I don't love you! --Union Street, Brooklyn Overheard by: Casey



AWOLangel	Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:41 pm Post #8800
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	Hobo, yelling to crowd: The stimulus plan won't work! The banks have no money! We need to stimulate the banks! You know how? Cocaine and hookers! --53rd st & 5th Ave Overheard by: Andrew



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