 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,587 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:03 pm Post #8761 |
 
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9AM I've Taken to Mailing Sperm to Strangers Engineer #1: How's the baby? Engineer #2: Great! Engineer #1: I'm thinking of having one soon! Engineer #2: Really? You're married? Engineer #1: No, working on it. Engineer #2: Oh, wow! You got engaged...congratulations! Engineer #1: No, not yet. Engineer #2: Do you even have a girlfriend? Engineer #1: Working on it. It's hard to recruit women to come here... New York Overheard by: How? |
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| AWOLangel | Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:03 pm Post #8762 |
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3PM You Get My Thrust? CEO at all-employee meeting: We want this company to get to the top. Because I don't know about you, but I have fun when I'm on top. (employees roar with laughter) Rockville, Maryland Overheard by: Just wanted the stock quote |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:13 pm Post #8763 |
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fromoverheardeverywhere.com Plastic Shoes with Holes in the Tops Make Much More Sense. Girl #1, sifting through shirts on table: Oh my god, these v-necks are so freaking cute. Girl #2: Yeah...if this one didn't have sharks on it. If there's one thing I hate is sharks. Who puts sharks on shirts nowadays, anyway? Urban Outfitters San Francisco, California |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:14 pm Post #8764 |
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Softly with Your Song, or What? Black woman in the ER on cell: You killed him? What do you mean you "killed him"? Chestnut Hill Hospital Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:15 pm Post #8765 |
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That Explains the Radiation Suit Greenpeace employee to college girl: Hey! Are you pro-environment? College girl: No, sorry, post-apocalyptic. Chicago, Illinois Overheard by: rabbit |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:16 pm Post #8766 |
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Then He Juggled Them While Drinking a Glass Of Water Hottied-out college girl: So I was, like, drunk, and I fell down on the bed, and he helped me up with his balls. (friends stare uncomfortably) What? That's not a euphemism for sex! He *literally* helped me up with his balls. University of Delaware |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:18 pm Post #8767 |
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So Stop Putting Price-Tags on My Bedroom Furniture Girl on cell: You're my mother, not a pawn shop! Berkeley, California |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:18 pm Post #8768 |
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And Wrote "Blow Job" in the Comments Field Guy on cell phone: I think it would look really bad if you gave me a check for $1000. University Library Montreal Canadia |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:18 pm Post #8769 |
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We Fear You Lack the Brainpower to Be an Effective Stripper Teacher, explaining sign up sheet: So, where it says "What are your plans?" You need to just put something like "Doctor," "lawyer," etc. Blonde in back, whispering to girl next to her: Girl, I'm putting down "stripper," then all of my classes will be in the humanities building! College Orientation Washington State Community College |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:19 pm Post #8770 |
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When the Earth Was Green and Everyone Was Horny Teenage girl to friend: I wish I lived back when there were unicorns! Wyoming |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:20 pm Post #8771 |
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One With Special Training in Fashion Emergency Medicine Teen girl in stall #1, reading: "Press for assistance..." Oh, Crystal, they have a press for assistance button in here! Teen girl in stall #2: What? Teen girl in stall #1: You know when you're in the hospital and you got that little button to press for when you need the nurse to come? They have one in here! Teen girl in stall #2: Shut up! Dressing Room Dallas, Texas Overheard by: Alicia K. |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:20 pm Post #8772 |
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Well, We Do Have a Couple Of Pre-op Trannies Girl: Oh, I'm doing Zumba today at five. Guy: What's Zumba? Can I do Zumba? Girl: Well...you can. Guy: I can? Girl: Yeah, it's not like there's a sign that says "No penises allowed." Guy: But "no penises" is implied. University of Miami Florida |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:21 pm Post #8773 |
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In Unrelated News, Could I Get a Ride to the Emergency Room? Drunk guy #1, finishing rant: Plastic trees do not produce oxygen! Drunk guy #2, retorting: They do if you eat them! Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:23 pm Post #8774 |
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Why Norway Isn't Known for Its Music Teacher: Let's all play a c. (music class plays a horrible, off-key c) Teacher: Without the instruments, then. High School Oslo Norway Overheard by: Jorunn |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:23 pm Post #8775 |
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It's Been Too Long Since I've Played Magic: The Gathering Young female hill staffer #1: Right there in the friggin' book stacks... Young female hill staffer #2: You were friggin' in the book stacks? Young female hill staffer #1: Damn girl, I was watching, not doing. Young female hill staffer #2: Wasted opportunity, if you ask me. I'd have joined in, or embarrassed the hell out of them till they let me in. Capitol Hill South Metro Station Washington, DC Overheard by: Yoda |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:24 pm Post #8776 |
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How Catholicism Works: Explained Stoner: If I had a brother--and he and your sister got married-- I would go over to their house all the time, and eat their food. Great Falls, Montana |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:25 pm Post #8777 |
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He's Singlehandedly Filling the Void Left by Newlyweds Teacher: If you could be any vegetable, what would you be? Random black student: I'd be a strawberry. University of Florida Overheard by: amused greatly |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:26 pm Post #8778 |
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We've Given the Bin Ladens Enough, Sir Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt! Cashier: Sir, you can't have a receipt if you didn't buy anything. Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt. I need a receipt or I'll kill you...because I am Osama Bin Laden. Starbucks New York City, New York |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:26 pm Post #8779 |
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...As My Grandma Always Said to Me. Calculus lecturer: If I had 20 million dollars to give you as a gift...I would, just to see you f*ck up. Perth Western Australia Australia |
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| AWOLangel | Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:27 pm Post #8780 |
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Like We Saw in That Porn-- Remember? Meathead #1: So, I think she's f*ckin' some other dude... Meathead #2: Yeah...but dude, just because she's f*ckin' him doesn't mean she can't f*ck you too. Gym USC, California |
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