 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,588 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Sat Apr 11, 2009 8:12 pm Post #8741 |
 
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How New Jersey Got Most of Its Population Tourist: How do I get to the beach? Local #1: Get on the 8 and go east. Tourist: Thanks. (tourist leaves) Local #2: You're sending her east. Local #1: F*ck her, she didn't say which beach. --Pacific Beach, California |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Apr 11, 2009 8:12 pm Post #8742 |
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Which Is Why I'm Oddly Drawn to Starbucks Coffee Drunk girl: I think I am sexually attracted to fire. Sober girl: Yeah...let me know how that goes. Drunk girl: It burns, but I gotta admit I love the smell of burning pubic hair in the morning. --Gold Coast, Australia |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Apr 11, 2009 8:13 pm Post #8743 |
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Because a Watched Sea Never Boils. Enraptured girl, watching sunset with boyfriend: I just love it when the sun sinks into the sea like this! But I have a question... Boy: Huh? What? Girl, turning serious: Why doesn't the sea boil? --Kauai, Hawaii |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Apr 11, 2009 8:14 pm Post #8744 |
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Blond overtanned guy: Wow, I would rather like to be laying on the beach in Spain right now! Blond overtanned girl: Yeah, and we could like drive down to Mexico and stuff! Blond overtanned guy: Hmm...no. You don't drive down to Mexico from Spain... Blond overtanned girl: Oh! Wrong direction? Is it to the left? --Nauthólsvík Beach, Iceland Overheard by: the guy who wishes he wasn't blonde |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Apr 11, 2009 8:15 pm Post #8745 |
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Let Me Guess-- You're Itching to Talk About It? Little girl, running happily: Mom, dad! Little boy: Guess what we caught! Both, in perfect unison: Crabs! --San Diego, California Overheard by: the girl who received dirty looks from the parents for laughing |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Apr 11, 2009 8:16 pm Post #8746 |
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It's a Wonderful Life Cute Jewish on cell, to mother: Are you calling me just to f*cking nag? Cuz if you are, I am hanging up. (pause) I don't know, I'm going to do what every Jew does on Christmas, go to the movies and eat Chinese food! --Virginia Beach, Virginia |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Apr 11, 2009 8:17 pm Post #8747 |
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The Wave Machine's a Little Cheesy, Though Obnoxiously loud tourist on cell, watching lighthouse: Oh my god! You would just love it here! Everything is so cute and quaint! They even have a building that looks just like a real lighthouse! It lights up and everything! --Holland State Park, Michigan |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Apr 11, 2009 8:20 pm Post #8748 |
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Though the Mailman's Been Known to Go for Rides on It Townie broad #1: You can tell how a man treats a woman by how he treats his bike. Townie broad #2: Bill keeps his in the garage and hasn't ridden it in five years. --Point Pleasant, New Jersey |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Apr 11, 2009 8:23 pm Post #8749 |
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Old woman #1: So did you get that dirty book I was talking about? Old woman #2: No, I couldn't find it. They don't sell them at Barnes and Noble. I have to look on Amazon. Old woman #1: The one I read is really graphic. This girl is this room, watching two people doing it. Old woman #2: Yeah, I'm saving some of them to read on the plane ride. --Sandy Hook, New Jersey Overheard by: caySAYhey |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Apr 11, 2009 8:24 pm Post #8750 |
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Aunt, looking up at the stars: What is that? Nephew: Is this the southern or northern hemisphere? Aunt (giggling): I have no idea. Cousin, without looking up : That's Orion. You can see Meissa, the star at the top, that's its head. The really bright one is Rigel, that's supposed to be the knee. If you follow the constellation downwards you'll see Sirius. (blank dumbfounded looks) Cousin: That's, um, where the aliens from V come from. Aunt, completely understanding : Ohhhh! --Beaches of Koh Sumet, Thailand |
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| AWOLangel | Sun Apr 19, 2009 7:57 pm Post #8751 |
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from overheardatthebeach.com Couldn't We Just Have Played Wii Beach? Guy walking on the sand: I f*cking hate the beach! I hate sand and it's not getting any better. Look, more sand! --Jones Beach, New York |
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| AWOLangel | Sun Apr 19, 2009 7:58 pm Post #8752 |
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Amazing Anything Can Live on the New Jersey Coast Guido mom to small boy holding a horseshoe crab: Eww! What is that? Random Guido: Is it a stingray? Guido mom: Do stingrays even live in the ocean? --Belmar, New Jersey |
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| AWOLangel | Sun Apr 19, 2009 7:58 pm Post #8753 |
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You'll Look for Any Excuse to Bring Up Denny's Boy #1: So "home run" means "married with babies"? Boy #2: Yeah, but I like Grand Slams the best. --Penfield Beach, Connecticut |
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| AWOLangel | Sun Apr 19, 2009 7:59 pm Post #8754 |
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How Leslie Finagles Free Movies from Half the Guys in Cape May Guy: Two for Wanted. Pregnant girl: You don't need to buy my ticket. I brought money. Guy: It's the least I could do, after knocking you up. Pregnant girl: Good point. --Cape May, New Jersey |
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| AWOLangel | Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:00 pm Post #8755 |
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And, for the Last Time, That's Not a Scorpion Bite 30-something mom dragging toddler down path: What do you mean your legs hurt? You're four years old! My legs don't even hurt and I'm like three times your age! --Bay Shore, Long Island, New York |
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| AWOLangel | Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:01 pm Post #8756 |
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from overheardattheoffice.com 3PM And That Stripper! Employee, looking at coworker's photos: I don't think this is appropriate for the workplace. (pause) Wait! Go back, go back...I think I have that same cap gun! Canberra Australia |
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| AWOLangel | Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:01 pm Post #8757 |
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2PM We Don't See Arrests in Most Product Liability Cases Office attorney: What are you guys talking about? Admin assistant: Roachy cop porn. I mean, roachy popcorn. Fairfield, Ohio |
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| AWOLangel | Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:02 pm Post #8758 |
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1PM Have You Tried Fiber? Receptionist to air conditioner repair man: My fanny thing leaks! Cube dwellers, listening: What? Receptionist: It drips on my desk. New Zealand Overheard by: YOUR WHAT!!! |
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| AWOLangel | Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:02 pm Post #8759 |
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12PM For the Last Time, Amber, a Stripper with a Stethoscope Isn't a Nurse Ghetto chick: Yo, everyone on somethin. I work with a nurse and she on crack--but she a damn good nurse! Wabash Ave Chicago, Illinois |
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| AWOLangel | Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:02 pm Post #8760 |
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11AM Game, Set, Match. 50-something American manager: So you're going to Disney World on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and coming back Sunday? Have you see our airports when they're busy? 20-something Indian consultant: Have you seen our trains, anytime? Wayne, New Jersey |
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