 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,688 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Tue Oct 14, 2008 1:47 pm Post #6741 |
 
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A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. Yogi Berra |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Oct 14, 2008 1:48 pm Post #6742 |
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Never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:29 pm Post #6743 |
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from overheardinnewyork.com Female customer: Does my ShopRite card work here? Bored cashier: No, this is a Gristedes. Customer: Well, I was just curious about their relationship. Bored cashier: Like any good relationship, it's all about boundaries. --Gristedes Overheard by: bemused |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:30 pm Post #6744 |
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Boy #1: Dude, I want a personal ball-washer. Boy #2: That's not sexy. That shit hurts! Boy #1: What hurts? Washing your balls does not hurt. Boy #2: It does if you do a good job. Boy #1: There's something wrong with you. Boy #2: It hurts if you get a good scrub in! Boy #1: What kind of soap do you use? Boy #2: Zest, cuz that shit smells delicious. --67th & 2nd Overheard by: glad i'm not a boy |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:33 pm Post #6745 |
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LL Cool J walks by gaggle of middle-aged black ladies, smiling as he passes. Ladies: Oh my god, oh my god, that's LL! Black woman to white woman: You people don't understand -- that was like you white folks seeing Dr. Phil! --LaGuardia Overheard by: Swanny |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:35 pm Post #6746 |
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Girl: So I was in Sweden, right, and we were riding these bikes and I sorta fell off the seat onto the bar underneath it and when I went to the bathroom there was blood in my panties and it really hurt. Asian chick (yelling): Ohmigod, you totally lost your virginity to a bike. Girl: Great, now the whole train knows. --4 Train |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:36 pm Post #6747 |
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Customer: I'll have an egg omelet. Cook: An egg omelet? Customer: Yeah, one made with eggs. Cook: Thank god you mentioned eggs. I was about to give you an omelet solely made from butter! --Grant's Restaurant Overheard by: AJ |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:41 pm Post #6748 |
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Man: What the fuck are you doing in here? Woman: I'm sorry, I just had to pee. Man: Holy shit! I can't fucking believe it. The first time I see my ex-wife in forty years is in a men's bathroom. --Picnic House Men's Room, Prospect Park |
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| Jadzia20 | Wed Oct 15, 2008 2:57 am Post #6749 |
When I crack that whip, everybody goin' to trip like circus
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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and drycleaners depressed? |
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| Jadzia20 | Wed Oct 15, 2008 2:58 am Post #6750 |
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When I crack that whip, everybody goin' to trip like circus
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. |
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| Jadzia20 | Wed Oct 15, 2008 2:58 am Post #6751 |
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When I crack that whip, everybody goin' to trip like circus
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If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? |
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| Jadzia20 | Wed Oct 15, 2008 2:58 am Post #6752 |
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When I crack that whip, everybody goin' to trip like circus
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Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there. |
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| Jadzia20 | Wed Oct 15, 2008 2:59 am Post #6753 |
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When I crack that whip, everybody goin' to trip like circus
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Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? |
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| Jadzia20 | Wed Oct 15, 2008 2:59 am Post #6754 |
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When I crack that whip, everybody goin' to trip like circus
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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
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| Jadzia20 | Wed Oct 15, 2008 2:59 am Post #6755 |
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When I crack that whip, everybody goin' to trip like circus
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian |
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| Jadzia20 | Wed Oct 15, 2008 3:00 am Post #6756 |
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When I crack that whip, everybody goin' to trip like circus
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Stupidity got us into this mess. Why can't it get us out? |
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| Jadzia20 | Wed Oct 15, 2008 3:00 am Post #6757 |
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When I crack that whip, everybody goin' to trip like circus
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The trouble with doing nothing is that you never know when you are finished. |
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| Jadzia20 | Wed Oct 15, 2008 3:01 am Post #6758 |
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When I crack that whip, everybody goin' to trip like circus
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If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box? |
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| Jadzia20 | Wed Oct 15, 2008 3:01 am Post #6759 |
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When I crack that whip, everybody goin' to trip like circus
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If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon on the pan? |
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| Sara_Paris | Wed Oct 15, 2008 9:04 am Post #6760 |
That's Mrs Tom Paris to you
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Kol-ut-shan- Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations *****Tea, Earl Grey, Hot!***** The irrationality of a thing is no argument against its existence, rather a condition of it. -Nietzsche All men live enveloped in the whale-lines. All are born with halters round their necks; but it is only when caught in the swift, sudden turn of death, that mortals realize the silent, subtle, ever-present perils of life. -Moby Dick | |
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