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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (68,938 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Sat Oct 30, 2010 7:38 pm Post #21741 |
 
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Seated guy to standing woman: I was out drinking with a friend. Well, less of a friend and more my parole officer... --L Train Overheard by: Bradburnside |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Oct 30, 2010 7:42 pm Post #21742 |
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The British Ghetto in Texas? 20-something male with slight accent: Man, this is bloody annoying. Middle aged male: You know, I've been meaning to ask. Are you British? 20-something male with slight accent: I'm from Texas, you wanker. --Central Park Overheard by: Locational |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Oct 30, 2010 7:59 pm Post #21743 |
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If You Build That, Men Will Come, Honey 30-something woman with shopping bags: I've decided the theme for my new apartment is "ah!" you know? Legging-wearing friend: Yeah! How are you going to decorate? 30-something woman with shopping bags: I'm thinking very minimalist, you know, very simple. I'm getting two flat-screen TVs. --Union Station Overheard by: Aidan |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Oct 30, 2010 8:04 pm Post #21744 |
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Only in the Bedroom, Sweetie Young girl: Mommy, are you a lady? Mother: Sometimes. --1 Train |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Nov 8, 2010 4:29 pm Post #21745 |
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from notalwaystight.com H2Slow, Part 3 Call Center | Minnesota, USA Caller: “I was just wondering if my credit card will work the same in Hawaii as it does here?” Me: “Well, ma’am Hawaii is part of the US, so it should.” Caller: “I know. I was just making sure since we’d be flying over a body of water.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Nov 8, 2010 4:30 pm Post #21746 |
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Must Have Lymphed Their Way Through Biology Vet | St. John's, NL, Canada Me: “Okay, well I’d like to do some tests on your cat.” Client: “Which kind of tests, how does that work?” Me: “I’d like to do some blood-work. We take it just like a doctor would take human blood.” Client: “Cats have blood?!” |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Nov 8, 2010 4:32 pm Post #21747 |
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Trying To Re-Coup Losses Grocery Store | Oakville, ON, Canada (An elderly customer comes up to my checkout.) Me: “That’ll be [price].” Customer: “Why is it so much?” Me: “Well, you bought all these items, and it all adds up to your total.” Customer: “You charged me for the chicken?” Me: “Yes, of course.” Customer: “There’s your mistake. The chickens are free today.” Me: “I beg your pardon?” Customer: “I got it from that big display where you’re giving away ‘free range chicken’.” |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Nov 8, 2010 4:35 pm Post #21748 |
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Monsters Of The ID Retail | Chicago, IL, USA (A customer wishes to pay with her debit card. I flip it over and see that it says ‘see ID’.) Me: “May I please see your ID?” Customer: “Why?” Me: “It says ‘see ID’.” Customer: “No it doesn’t!” Me: “Yes, it does.” (I show her the small writing that says ‘See ID’.) Customer: “I know that’s there.” Me: “Then may I see your ID?” Customer: “That doesn’t apply to me.” Me: “I don’t understand.” Customer: “I put that there so that you can catch thieves that might use my card. It only applies to thieves, not me!” |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Nov 8, 2010 4:38 pm Post #21749 |
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Suffering For Art Art Gallery | Laguna Beach, CA, USA (There are giant “No Photography” signs posted on all doors and all over the gallery. A gallery patron pulls out her camera and starts photographing artwork.) Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but we do not allow photography in the gallery.” Patron: “Oh, sorry. Why can’t I take pictures?” Me: “These are copy-written images and if we let everyone take pictures, they would have no reason to purchase the art.” (The patron shrugs, pulls out her cell phone, and walks around the gallery. She holds it up in the air while taking pictures of the wall art.) Me: “Excuse me, but like I said before, we do not allow photography in the gallery.” Patron: “I wasn’t taking pictures, I was talking on the phone!” Me: “Ma’am, you were holding it over your head, and you weren’t even talking.” Patron: “Well, it’s none of your business how I talk on my phone. Besides, I don’t think any of them were in focus.” |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Nov 8, 2010 4:40 pm Post #21750 |
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In A Stupid Mood Souvenir Shop | Corolla, NC, USA (At the checkout line, a customer and her grand daughter have placed mood rings all over their fingers.) Customer: “Isn’t it amazing how they know exactly what type of mood you’re in?” Me: “Would you to add any mood rings?” Customer: “No.” Me: “Well, it will be [price].” Customer: *pays* Me: “Your change is [change]” (I hand the customer one of the new five dollar bills.) Customer: “I think this bill is counterfeit.” Me: “I assure you, it’s not ma’am.” Customer: “Sure it is, it’s colored.” Me: “It’s actually a mood five. It changes according to your mood.” Customer: “The things they do with technology!” |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Nov 8, 2010 4:43 pm Post #21751 |
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Marriage Bed(ding) Department Store | Ontario, Canada (A male customer comes up to the return desk holding a bagged bedding set.) Me: “Hi sir, would you like to return that?” Man: “Yes please.” Me: “May I ask why?” Man: “Um…my wife told me to?” Me: “Good enough for me!” |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Nov 8, 2010 4:46 pm Post #21752 |
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Fair Trade Waylaid Supermarket | United Kingdom Customer: “Excuse me, where is the tea?” Me: “Right this way.” Customer: “Do you have any tea that isn’t fair trade?” Me: “Excuse me?” Customer: “Do you have any tea that isn’t fair trade? It’s more expensive!” Me: “I’m sorry, but I think you are missing the point.” Customer: “It’s more expensive! That isn’t very fair to me!” |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Nov 8, 2010 4:48 pm Post #21753 |
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Caught Red Carded Bank | New Zealand (A customer comes in to get replacement debit card. Lost cards attract a replacement fee, but for stolen cards the fee is waived.) Customer: “I need to cancel my debit card and get a new one.” Me: “No problem. Was it lost or stolen?” Customer: *looks a bit confused* “I’ve only just noticed it’s missing. Does it make a difference?” (I explain about replacement card fee.) Customer: “Yeah, it think it must have been stolen when I left my wallet in the car earlier.” Me: “No problem. Do you happen to have any ID on you?” Customer: “Sure.” (The customer pulls out an old, tattered wallet that also clearly contains a reasonable amount of cash and gets a drivers license out.) Me: “Thanks. You were pretty lucky.” Customer: “How come?” Me: “Lucky they only stole your debit card from your wallet.” Customer: *suddenly looking guilty* “Yeah.” *pause* Customer: “So I’m going to charge the Replacement Card Fee?” Me:“Yeah.” |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Nov 8, 2010 4:53 pm Post #21754 |
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Taxing Faxing, Part 6 Car Dealer | Lakewood, CO, USA (We require full coverage insurance on vehicles we sell that we are financing in-house. I call the customer to tell her she needs to provide us with proof of insurance.) Me: “We need you to fax us your current proof of insurance ma’am. You can have your insurance agent fax it over.” Caller: “I’ll just use the fax at my work. I’ll be there in five minutes.” (She calls back in an hour.) Caller: “Okay, they said I could use the fax. How do I send it to you?” Me: “Maybe you could ask someone there to help you?” Caller: *yelling* “Bob! I need to fax this to the car place!” Bob: *in background* “What’s the fax number?” (I tell the customer the fax number.) Customer: “Okay, it’s working.” (My fax machine rings, and her insurance starts printing.) Customer: “Now make sure you send that back to me, it’s my original and I have to keep it in my car!” Me: “Um…it should be sitting on your fax machine.” Customer: “Wow, these fax things are fast!” |
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| spocklet | Mon Nov 8, 2010 5:28 pm Post #21755 |
Live long and prosper.....!!
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Yup !! 
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| R.I.P. Gummy, we'll miss you bro | |
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| Ltpondwater9 | Tue Nov 9, 2010 12:03 am Post #21756 |
**Tomahawk Chop**
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J\Haven't seen this thread in ages. |
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| AWOLangel | Sun Nov 28, 2010 10:59 pm Post #21757 |
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from not always right Throw In A Chilean For Some Kick Grocery Store | Winnipeg, MB, Canada (There is a customer in the refrigerated dairy section, looking lost.) Me: “Can I help you find something?” Customer: *grabs my arm* “Oh, yes! I’m looking for cheese.” Me: “Well, it would be in this aisle. What kind of cheese?” Customer: “You know, it’s white, and has little green flecks of Filipino.” Me: “Uhm, I don’t think we have that. Do you mean jalapeño?” Customer: “Yes, that’s it!” |
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| AWOLangel | Sun Nov 28, 2010 11:01 pm Post #21758 |
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Unleashes A Whole Raft Of Problems Retail | Atlanta, GA, USA (I am a supervisor called to returns for an override.) Me: “Hello! I understand we’re returning an inflatable raft?” Customer: “Yes, that’s right. I don’t like this one.” Me: “Okay, sorry to hear that. Give me just a sec to reverse the transaction. There you go! Anything else?” Customer: “No, that’s all, I’m going to shop & look for another raft.” Me: “Oh, I’m sorry but it’s a seasonal item, we no longer carry them.” Customer: “Oh, alright.” *comes back about 20 minutes later* Customer: “Excuse me, since you don’t have any more rafts & I need one, can I buy the one I just returned?” Me: “Uh, sure!” Customer: “Well, since it’s used and it’s the last one, can I get a discount?” |
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| AWOLangel | Sun Nov 28, 2010 11:03 pm Post #21759 |
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That’s One Supportive Mother Video Game Store | Maidstone, UK Me: “Hi, can I help you at all?” Customer: “Yes. I’m looking for a present for my son. It’s called a ‘gay boy advanced’?” Me: “I’m hoping you meant a Game Boy Advanced?” Customer: “Oh? What did I say?” |
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| AWOLangel | Sun Nov 28, 2010 11:04 pm Post #21760 |
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From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 4 Movie Theater | St. Louis, MO, USA (A few of us employees had just made a cup of ‘heart-stopper’, popcorn with way too much butter and salt, between shows. A mother and her son walk up to the counter.) Son: “What’s that?” Me: “We call it the heart-stopper.” Son: “Can I try some?” Me: “That’s up to your mom.” (She gives consent and the kid really likes it and starts eating several pieces.) Me: “Hey, slow down or you’ll wake up fat tomorrow morning!” Son: “Woah! Is that what happened to you?” |
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