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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (68,940 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Sun Oct 24, 2010 4:20 pm Post #21701 |
 
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more from not always right. No Happy Ending Bookstore | Orlando, FL, USA (A customer brings a book up to the counter, but the front cover is torn off, along with some pages.) Me: “Oh, I’m sorry ma’am. I’m not sure why a book in this condition was on the shelf. Let me go get a new one.” Customer: “No, it’s ok. I did it.” Me: “Excuse me?” Customer: “I already read the first part. I just wanted to buy the ending.” Me: “Um…” Customer: “Do I get a discount? It’s only half the book.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun Oct 24, 2010 4:21 pm Post #21702 |
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When Sizes Are XXX Clothing Store | Boston, MA, USA (I am assisting a man holding a small and medium shirt.) Me: “Can I help you?” Customer: “I’m just thinking about S and M.” Me: “I’ll leave you to that, then.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun Oct 24, 2010 4:22 pm Post #21703 |
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Knows Knot Of Mass Retail | Houghton Lake, MI, USA (I work for a discount store that sells bulk birdseed that the customer scoops themselves. A customer approaches the counter with a bag that’s quite full but not tied.) Me: “Hello, ma’am, how are you today?” (I start tying the bag shut so I can lift it on the counter to weigh without spilling.) Customer: “No! Don’t!” Me: “Excuse me?” Customer: “Don’t tie a knot in it or it’ll weigh more!” Me: “Ma’am. I’m sorry but, how’s that possible?” Customer: “It’s a knot! They’re heavier!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sun Oct 24, 2010 4:23 pm Post #21704 |
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Nip-Picking Vet | Ontario, Canada (A customer brings her dog to the front desk in a panic.) Customer: “My dog has fleas, so I need you to help me. I have been using the flea medication you gave me, but I can still see flea eggs.” Me: “Ma’am, you can see flea eggs?” Customer: “I have been trying to pick them off, but they seem to be stuck.” Me: “Ok, can you show me the eggs you have been trying to pick off?” (Customer lifts up the dog to show me it’s belly.) Customer: “See! These!” Me: “Ma’am, those are not flea eggs, they are his nipples.” Customer: “Nipples? But he’s a male, how does he have nipples? They have to be flea eggs.” Me: “I assure you, he has no fleas, and the ‘eggs’ you have been trying to pick off are in fact his nipples.” Customer: “Get the vet, you don’t know what you’re talking about, he’s a male! He can’t have nipples.” Me: “Ma’am, do human males have nipples?” Customer: *stares blankly for a moment* “Well s***!” *walks out* |
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| spocklet | Mon Oct 25, 2010 12:12 am Post #21705 |
Live long and prosper.....!!
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| R.I.P. Gummy, we'll miss you bro | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Oct 26, 2010 7:19 pm Post #21706 |
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from the same source.... Eating Disorderly Theatre | Wiltshire, UK (A customer has just purchased some tickets and they’ve just been given their tickets.) Customer: “Oh, before I go…if I eat my ticket, can you replace it?” Me: “Uh, eat…your ticket?” Customer: “Yes, I eat things, I can’t help myself.” Me: “If you eat your ticket, then keep your receipt and we’ll be happy to replace your ticket.” Customer: “Oh, okay thanks!” (The customer walks away and then pauses and comes back to the ticket desk.) Customer: “What if I eat my receipt and my ticket?” Me: “Please don’t.” Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks!” |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Oct 26, 2010 7:22 pm Post #21707 |
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Not Quite Catching On Movie Theater | Chester, NY, USA (This was back when the movie “Catch Me If You Can” came out. The movie poster has two large blue arrows pointing in different directions. A man buys a ticket and goes down the hallway to the theater. We see him again, walking the other way and looking angry. Finally, he comes up to the counter.) Me: “May I help you, sir?” Customer: “Yes, where are you showing this movie?” *waves the ticket in my face* Me: “Just down that hallway, sir…the second door.” Customer: “Don’t give me that! I followed the arrows on the poster, and they led me to the bathroom and then a closet!” |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Oct 26, 2010 7:26 pm Post #21708 |
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Mall Brats Theatre | Netherlands (My theatre group does a play at an amusement park. We often walk around the park in costume to tell visitors about the play. Note that the play was about two “bad guys” who wanted to cut all the trees to build a large shopping mall in the forest.) Me: “Did you see those two guys? They want to build a mall here. I don’t know what that is, but it sounds bad!” Little Girl: “You really don’t know what a mall is?” Me: “No, I just live here in the forest.” Little Girl: *with piercing eyes* “Really. I mean in real life.” Me: “I really live here!” Little Girl: “No, I mean when you’re in your normal clothes.” Me: *giving up* “Okay, in real life I know what a mall is.” Little Girl: *looks satisfied* “I knew it!” |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Oct 26, 2010 7:30 pm Post #21709 |
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Caesar 2: The [Roman] Empire Strikes Back Bookstore | Connecticut, USA Customer: “Do you carry books by Shakespeare here?” Me: “Yes, we do. Which play did you need?” Customer: “The one that sophomores read.” *gestures to the teenager next to her, presumably her daughter* Me: “I’m sorry, but there’s not just one play that sophomores read. Do you happen to know the title, or maybe what it’s about?” Customer: *loudly* “The-One-That-Sophomore’s-Read!” Me: “Well, let’s walk over to the section and see if we can figure it out. A lot of early high school students read A Midsummer Night’s Dream or Romeo & Juliet.” Daughter: “I think Romeo & Juliet.” Me: “Great!” *pulls out a copy to hand to her* Daughter: “I don’t know though.” Me: “Okay. Well, could it be Hamlet, maybe? Or Julius Caesar?” Daughter: “Julius Caesar? Isn’t that the sequel to Romeo & Juliet?” |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Oct 26, 2010 7:33 pm Post #21710 |
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Articulated Truck Drivers Aren’t Articulate Security | Massachusetts, USA (A truck driver walks up to desk and stares at wall behind me.) Me: “Can…I help you?” Driver: “Yeaaaaa…” *waits ten seconds, looks behind him, looks back at me, waits another 5 seconds* “I don’t have my shipment numbers.” Me: “Well, where are they?” Driver: “They’re in the truck.” Me: “They’re in the truck?” Driver: “Yup.” Me: “So you left the truck with the numbers inside, walked all the way through the property, and up to my desk to tell me you left the numbers in the truck?” Driver: “Yeaaaaaaa.” *stares at the wall again* Me: “You want to go get them?” Driver: “Get what?” Me: “Are you filming this?” |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Oct 26, 2010 7:35 pm Post #21711 |
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Emergency Disservice Apartment Complex | Indiana, USA (I am a Community Assistant. When a resident has a problem with their apartment they have to call the CA Duty phone. However, today is labor day and it’s my day off.) Resident: “I have a emergency at my apartment!” Me: “How can I help you sir?” Resident: “There was a bee’s nest in my roof, but now the bees have come through a crack in the ceiling! My apartment is full of bees!” Me: “Sir, I would recommend that you call some sort of animal services, but I can’t help you.” Resident: “Well, why not? Doesn’t the apartment have some sort of procedure for this type of situation?” Me: “Well, it’s Labor Day and my day off. Plus, you’re supposed to call me for maintenance issues, not insects.” Resident: “You can’t take the day off! What if there was a medical emergency on a holiday!” Me: “Then I hope you would call 911.” Resident: Don’t they have the day off, too?” |
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| spocklet | Tue Oct 26, 2010 7:48 pm Post #21712 |
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Live long and prosper.....!!
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Don't ya just love intelligent people ??
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| R.I.P. Gummy, we'll miss you bro | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Oct 26, 2010 8:32 pm Post #21713 |
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Touchscreen Has-beens Retail | Nottingham, UK (Myself and another colleague are talking to two elderly ladies.) Lady #1: “You could just help us with one more thing.” Lady #2: “You see that red button in the corner of the screen?” (They indicate the interactive red button that accesses extra services, which you press on your remote.) Me: “Yes?” Lady #1: “Well the TV says to press it and nothing happens. Actually, lets see if it works now!” (Lady 1 presses the red button and nothing happens. I immediately see the problem.) Lady #1: “You see! Your TVs are broken too!” Lady #2: “Oh, it’s working now.” Me: “I’ve just pressed the red button on the remote. Not on the screen.” |
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| Lus | Wed Oct 27, 2010 4:21 pm Post #21714 |
Sherlock... I mean... KHANNNNNNN
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 They're great Awol!
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 It's a Star Trek Miracle! | |
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| CaptDennyCrane | Wed Oct 27, 2010 5:26 pm Post #21715 |
There can be only one
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Spam. Not so bad if you grill it. |
| The unambiguous and defined essence of a truest friend, is a single soul, shared in two bodies. A person who completes you so, that it pains you when they hurt, and sustains you when they are with you, no matter how far. | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Oct 30, 2010 2:19 pm Post #21716 |
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from overheard everywhere One Of the Perils Of Being Raised on AIM Young guy on cell: Man, I don't know nobody by they real names, yo. Framingham, Massachusetts Overheard by: Shifty |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Oct 30, 2010 6:37 pm Post #21717 |
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Christmas Has Come Early When We Get "Boobs" and "Mound" in the Same Quote. Chesty girl, about failing pitcher: I've offered to go to the mound and show him my boobs. I just don't know what else I can do to support this team. Comerica Park Detroit, Michigan |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Oct 30, 2010 6:38 pm Post #21718 |
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Exactly. 20-something girlfriend, pointing at "exit only--do not enter" sign: I should tattoo that on my butt. 20-something boyfriend: But then you would be single. Lincoln Park Chicago, Illinois |
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| spocklet | Sat Oct 30, 2010 6:38 pm Post #21719 |
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Live long and prosper.....!!
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Buy the team a bra, perhaps.........?! 
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| R.I.P. Gummy, we'll miss you bro | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Oct 30, 2010 6:39 pm Post #21720 |
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Also a Major Problem at Chimpanzee Schools Teacher to girl picking lint off her boobs: Pay attention, please. Girl: I can't! I'm cleaning! Potomac, Maryland |
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