 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (68,961 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 2:26 pm Post #21281 |
 
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Love The Life Choice, Hate The Life Restaurant | Hagerstown, MD, USA (A woman called in to make a reservation.) Woman: “Hi, I’m a vegetarian, what can you do for me?” Host: “Well, I can check with the kitch–” Woman: *interrupting* “And I don’t wanna hear pasta, tofu or vegetables!” Host: “Well ma’am, what did you have in mind?” Woman: “I don’t know, but everywhere I call offers me that, and I don’t like any of it!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 2:40 pm Post #21282 |
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Taking It Old School College | Northridge, CA, USA (I was working in the department office one day when an old woman called me up.) Me: *on the phone* “Radio, TV and Film Department. How can I help you?” Caller: “I want to take a class in radio.” Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but our classes are part of the Bachelor’s degree curriculum. You can’t just take one class.” Caller: “Well…how long is the Bachelor’s degree program?” Me: “4 years at minimum, but the average student take 5 years to complete it.” Caller: “5 YEARS?! I can’t do that! …so where else can I take a class in radio?” Me: “Why don’t you try **** College? They have a radio station, so they may have some radio classes. Here’s the number.” Caller: “What kind of school is **** College?” Me: “It’s a community college.” Caller: “A WHAT kind of college?” Me: “A community college. You know, a junior college.” Caller: “HONEY! I don’t need no JUNIOR college. I am a SENIOR citizen!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 2:50 pm Post #21283 |
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Closing The Barn Door After The Udders Have Gotten Out Retail | Edmonton, AB, Canada (A customer comes into our swimsuit store wearing one of our swimsuits, dripping wet. She’s obviously come straight from the pool.) Me: “Hello, can I help you?” Customer: “I need a refund for this suit. It’s defective!” Me: “What’s the problem with it?” (Without hesitating, the customer pulls down the front of the suit, flashing her top to me, the store, and the security cameras. The rest of the customers clear out. She’s attempting to show me that the removable cup liners in the bra have curled up.) Me: “I’m sorry, that’s not a defect. It just curled up. You can straighten it out yourself, or you can go into our changeroom, take off the suit. I’ll fix it and you can put it back on.” Customer: “But this suit is defective! I need a refund!” (My supervisor comes over and she flashes the store again to show the “defect”.) Supervisor: “That’s not a defect, and as it’s clearly posted, there are no refunds on swimwear.” Customer: “So I’m just out $90 then? I demand a refund! I did not waste my money on a defective suit!” Me: “Those liners are removable. We can just take them out and they won’t roll up on you any more.” Customer: “What?! I’ll show my nipples to the whole f***ing pool!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 2:52 pm Post #21284 |
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Maxed Out Wallets, Bankrupt Brains Credit Card Call Center | Florida, USA Me: “Hello, I’m calling about a bill your [credit card] that you haven’t paid in two months.” Customer: “I don’t even have this card.” Me: “Well, is this your address?” *asks address* Customer: “Yes.” Me: “And is this your correct phone number?” *asks phone number* Customer: “Yes.” Me: “May I verify the last four digits of your social?” Customer: “Yes, it’s ****.” Me: “Okay, that’s what we have. Were your last charges at [dentist] and with your phone company on [date]?” Customer: “Why, yes, I did go there on those dates.” Me: “So, you used this card.” Customer: “No, I cut up this card. I don’t have it anymore.” Me: “Well, the account is still open and you’re still responsible for the money you owe.” Customer: “No, I cut up the card! I don’t owe anything!” Me: “You have a balance of $2000 on the card. Even when you cut the card up, you still owe what you spent.” Customer: “Really?!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:33 pm Post #21285 |
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Much Ado About Nothing Library | Iowa, USA Library patron: “How much is this book?” Me: “Well, according to the price on the back it looks like it costs about $27.00. However, the actual price may vary depending on where you buy it.” Library patron: “Wow, that is a lot of money.” Me: “Yea, kind of.” Library patron: “Okay, well…I’ll take it,” Me: “Okay, I will need your library card and I can check it out to you.” Library patron: “Oh, I want to write a check.” Me: “Ma’am, we don’t sell books here. This is a library, so you borrow them.” Library patron: “So you are not going to sell me this book?” Me: “No, but I will gladly let you check it out if you have a library card.” Library patron: “What kind of store is this?” Me: “It isn’t a store…it’s a library.” Library patron: “So you really won’t sell me this book?” Me: “No, I cannot sell you that book.” Library patron: “Fine! I’ll take my money elsewhere!” Me: “Nice doing business with you!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:34 pm Post #21286 |
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On A Tight Leash Tech Support | Albany, NY, USA Me: “Thank you for calling [cable company], how can I help you?” Customer: “Yeah, my cable box is doing that tiling thing.” Me: “I can help you with that. Let’s try and reboot the box. I need you to unplug it.” Customer: “My wife is recording a show. Will that be affected?” Me: “Unfortunately, yes. If you unplug the box, the DVR will stop recording.” Customer: “Do you think I should should wait, and call back later when it’s done?” Me: *chuckles* “That depends on how much trouble you’ll get in with your wife.” Customer: *laughs nervously* “Yeah, you’re right. She’ll lock me in the basement again…I’ll wait, thank you.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:34 pm Post #21287 |
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He’s Got The Look Retail | Ireland Male Customer: “Excuse me, could I get some boyfriend jeans?” Me: “Sorry, what?” Customer: “You know, the baggy jeans - ‘boyfriend’ jeans.” *looks at me like I’m stupid* Me: “You mean…normal jeans?” Customer: *adamantly* “NO! My girlfriend calls them ‘boyfriend’ jeans.” Me: “She’s female…for guys they’re just ‘jeans’…” Customer: “Well, whatever they are, can you get me a pair?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:35 pm Post #21288 |
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Now In Original & Extra Bandwidth Flavor Restaurant | Austin, TX, USA (I work at a sandwich place, where we have signs up promoting free Wi-Fi. A uninformed lady comes in to the store.) Lady: *looking the menu over and over* “How big is the serving of free Wi-Fi?” Me: “I’m sorry, can you say that again?” Lady: “The serving of Wi-Fi, how big is the free portion? Can I pay extra and get a bigger one to share with my husband, or can we get two cups for free?” Me: “The Wi-Fi is a signal for computers that can connect to the internet wirelessly…it isn’t something edible.” (She looks around for a long time, checks her phone and then walks out.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:36 pm Post #21289 |
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from overheardeverywhere.com Um, I'm Twelve. Guy on cell: Yeah, well, that sucks that you don't have any friends, but now at least it's legal for you to drink your troubles away! University of Delaware Newark, Delaware Overheard by: Anne |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:36 pm Post #21290 |
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Time to Start Talking About Gay Rights in More PC Terms Voice over intercom: So, come out and buy some juice and support a good cause. Girl #1: Um, what good cause? Girl #2: I dunno. Fruit? High School Calgary Canadia |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:36 pm Post #21291 |
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K, Guys? Toolish guy: I don't believe that single consonants should be legitimate prepositions. Dorm, Princeton University Princeton, New Jersey Overheard by: Mary Cait |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:37 pm Post #21292 |
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You Brits Even Make Farting Sound Civilized British woman: Pardon me, I have to go get meself centered. Yoga Studio Los Angeles, California |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:37 pm Post #21293 |
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Spoken Like Somebody Who's Never Seen SVU Student: There's no child out there that's like, "you know what I want today, I want to have sex with a forty-year-old man, that's what I'm really craving today." |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:38 pm Post #21294 |
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It's Not Every Day You Get to Have Your Face Smushed Against a Complete Stranger Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we are normally a six-car train. Today they gave us four cars. I cried, I begged, but to no avail. (10 minutes later) Next stop, Secaucus! Hang on, we're gonna make it! Transit Train New Jersey Overheard by: twoferrets |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:38 pm Post #21295 |
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It's Even More Fetching When It's Full Coed: I like your bladder. USC Los Angeles, California |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:38 pm Post #21296 |
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So We Didn't Do the Hanksta-Panksta Preppy Hispanic girl: He thinks he's so gangsta-gangsta, but he's not. He's a wangsta-wangsta. Nashville, Tennessee |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:38 pm Post #21297 |
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If I'm Going to Rent Them Out, I Get to Make the Rules. Girl in humanities course: I don't trust Chinese people with my eyebrows. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Overheard by: Amused college student |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:39 pm Post #21298 |
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The Etymology Lesson You'll Wish You Never Had Effeminate boy #1: And he said "my penis is so big I can't control it." Effeminate boy #2: Oh, god. Really? Effeminate boy #1: Yes, his mother uses really scientific terminology. Effeminate boy #2: Oh. Oh, I see. Effeminate boy #1: Mhmm. Well, he's only four, too. He's already peed on himself because as he says "it's not long enough go down." I just call it a pee-pee. That's where the word "pee" comes from. Mmhmm. Effeminate boy #2: Really! Huh! Friendship Heights Washington, DC Overheard by: aimc |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:39 pm Post #21299 |
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At Least Five Times a Day. Girl inside stall: I love my vagina! Bathroom in Bar New Haven, Connecticut |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 3:40 pm Post #21300 |
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Literacy Campaigns Have Come a Long Way Since Reading Rainbow Girl, looking at books: I love the library! It's like natural Adderall. Scranton, Pennsylvania Overheard by: too old for this |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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