 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (68,962 Views) | |
| Gummy | Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:52 pm Post #21261 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:53 pm Post #21262 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:53 pm Post #21263 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:54 pm Post #21264 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 12:59 pm Post #21265 |
 
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from noalwaysright.com The Spite At The End Of The Tunnel Grocery Store | Virginia, USA (I’ve had a migraine all day on the job at the grocery store. I am making a valiant effort to fake it just a little longer, when…) Customer: “You look too happy.” Me: “Well, I’m–” Customer: “I can fix that.” (The customer proceeds to pull out something from her purse and shine a very bright light in my eyes. I take several steps back in pain.) Customer: “There! I told you we could fix that!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:00 pm Post #21266 |
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Always Right, Even When Devouring Your Mortal Soul Grocery Store | Lynnwood, WA, USA (A teenage customer comes up to my checkout with a bag of chips.) Customer: “This job must suck, am I right?” Me: “It’s ok. It’s not horrible. I get paid to tell people how much to pay and sit around most the time. It’s pretty slow this time of day.” Customer: “You should get out of here and go to college! Get an education!” Me: “Sir, I’m already in college. This job and one other is paying for me to go to college, as well as my rent.” Customer: “Hey! The customer is always right! You can’t correct me! And if I didn’t eat junk food, then I would eat your soul! How much for this?” Me: “$1.08, sir.” Customer: *pays and leaves* Coworker, to me: “Did he just say he was going to eat your soul?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:00 pm Post #21267 |
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A Penny Lost Is A Penny Earned Bank | Indiana, USA Me: “Would you like to sign up for our free checking account?” Customer: “No, I usually keep my money in my sofa for safe keeping.” Me: “You shouldn’t do that.” Customer: “But it gains interest.” Me: “How does that work?” Customer: “When people come over, they keep losing their change in my couch.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:04 pm Post #21268 |
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I Get By With A Little Help From Employees Convenience Store | Torrance, CA, USA (I walk into a convenience store, and the only clerk in the store is helping an older man in a dress shirt button up his shirt. The man in the shirt notices me walk in.) Man: “Hey buddy, you mind helping me button up this top button?” Me: “Um, OK…” (The man approaches me and, after much effort, I manage to get his top button tied. The shirt is obviously way too small. He thanks me and the clerk, then heads out the door, buttoning the rest of his shirt.) Clerk: “Thanks. That’s the third time he’s been in here this week.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:05 pm Post #21269 |
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Lacking The Most Important Sense Of All: Common Grocery Store | Sugar Land, TX, USA (At my store, we have several baggers that are deaf. On this day, one of them was bagging for me and I was running a register.) Customer: *to bagger* “Excuse me, where is the mens’ room?” Bagger: *motions that he is deaf and cannot hear him* Customer: “I SAID where is the mens’ room?!” Bagger: *points to the sign on his nametag stating he is deaf* Customer: “Aren’t you going to tell me where the mens’ room is?!” Me: “Sir, he can’t hear you; he’s deaf.” Customer: “Why is he so f***ing rude? I asked him a question; he could just TELL me he’s deaf.” Me: “Sir, the mens’ room is over there.” *points* Customer: *to bagger* “You should’ve told me you’re deaf. It’s rude to not answer people like that.” Me: *signs to bagger to tell him what the customer said* Bagger: *signs back, “What an idiot!”* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:05 pm Post #21270 |
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What A Bad Decision Looks Like Video Game Store | Tyler, TX, USA (A woman comes into our store with her three children, one 5-6 years old, one toddler, and another still in a stroller. The eldest children immediately grab Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas off the shelves and beseech their mother.) Children: “Mommy, Mommy! Can we have this one?” Customer: “Sure, honey.” Me: “Ma’am, that’s not a game for children.” Customer: “What do you mean?” Me: “Well, it’s rated Mature. That means it has lots of violence, and I also know it’s got drugs and sexual themes. It’s really meant for adults only.” Customer: *turning back to her boys* “Are you SURE this is the one you want?” Children: *eyes now bulging with excitement after they overheard my description* “YES! YES!” Customer: “Okay, then.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:06 pm Post #21271 |
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Walk Loudly And Carry A Sharp Stick Outdoor Equipment Store | Alberta, Canada (A couple comes up to me looking for something to help against attacking cougars. I recommend bear spray, a high-power pepper spray to repel predators.) Customer: “Nah, we don’t need bear spray. Sometimes that stuff just pisses them off, y’know?” Me: “Well, in some rare cases–” Customer: “Hey what are those?” *points at 18″ machetes* Me: “Those are machetes.” Customer: “That’s perfect! That’s just what we ened. If there’s a cougar we don’t need no Bear Spray! We’ll just fight ‘em off with this!” Me: “Okay…you sure you wouldn’t like some bear spray, too? Just as a first option?” Customer: “Nah, sometimes that just pisses them off!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:06 pm Post #21272 |
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The Real Meaning Of Finger Food Fast Food | Bozeman, MT, USA (I work at a restaurant that specializes in roast beef. A customer is standing at the end of the counter, staring at the meat slicer.) Customer: “Can I touch the beef?” Me: “Sorry?” Customer: “The beef. On the slicer. I want to touch it.” Me: “Uh, I can’t let you do that.” Customer: “But why?” Me: “Well, we can’t turn the slicer off during the lunch rush unless we’re putting a new roast on it.” Customer: “Oh, you don’t have to turn the slicer off, I just wanna touch the beef!” Me: “Well, I don’t want to serve anyone a sliced beef and finger sandwich today, so tough luck.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:12 pm Post #21273 |
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Crimes Of (Extremely Long) Premeditation Retail | Victoria, BC, Canada Me: “That’ll be $23.44, ma’am.” Customer: *stares off into space* Me: “…Ma’am?” Customer: “What?” Me: “How would you like to pay for this?” Customer: “Oh right, I guess I have to give you money…” Me: “I’d appreciate it.” Customer: “…or, I could always steal it.” (At first I think she’s kidding; but, after a long pause, I realize she is actually contemplating this.) Me: “I’d go with the former, ma’am.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:20 pm Post #21274 |
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What You [Don’t] See Is What You Get Retail | Boston, MA, USA Customer: “Hi, can you help me find invisible wire?” Me: “Oh, fish wire?” Customer: “Yes, invisible wire.” Me: “Yup, that’s right over here.” (I take the customer over, pull one off the hook and hand it to him.) Customer: “Is this a joke?!” Me: “Um…” Customer: “This isn’t invisible wire! I can see it!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:52 pm Post #21275 |
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It Just Jumps Off The Page Print Shop | Des Moines, IA, USA Me: *on the phone* “Hello, **** Printing.” Woman: “Yeah, I need to get something printed, and I just need to know if you can do it or not.” Me: “That’s entirely possible, what is it you want to print?” Woman: “Well, it’s something on a website.” Me: “Hmm. Web-res graphics tend not to print well. You’ll want something at least 300 dpi. And web graphics are in RGB color, and we would need CMYK.” Woman: “Oh. Well, if I show you the website, can you check?” Me: “Sure, no problem.” (She sends me to this website and directs me to a banner ad.) Me: “Uh, you mean this advertisement that’s flashing at the top of the screen?” Woman: “Yeah, can you print that? Like 1,000 of them so I can hand them out?” Me: “But it’s animated. Even if the quality was good enough to print, I could only print one still frame…it wouldn’t be moving.” Woman: “Darn it! That’s what my boyfriend told me too! I just wanted to be sure.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:53 pm Post #21276 |
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Some People Can’t Handle The Power Tech Support | Melbourne, Australia Me: *on the phone* “Hello, how can I help you?” Customer: “My cable won’t stop changing channels.” (I walk the customer through a basic re-set.) Me: “Has that resolved the issue?” Customer: “No, it’s still changing channels.” Me: “OK, you’re just watching it and it’s just randomly changing channels by itself?” Customer: “Yes, when I press the channel up and down buttons on the remote, it keeps changing channels.” Me: “…that’s the purpose of the channel buttons.” Customer: “Well, how do I get it to stop changing channels?” Me: “Stop pressing the channel buttons.” Customer: *getting irritated* “But I want to press the channel buttons, but it won’t stop changing.” Me: “If you don’t want it to change, stop pressing the buttons.” Customer: “Oh…but how do I get it to stop?” Me: “Put your remote down and don’t touch it.” Customer: “That’s ridiculous, why would you have that button if it’s just going to change the channels?!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:59 pm Post #21277 |
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Och, A Communal Kilt Scottish Import Store | Toronto, ON, Canada (I work at a Scottish import store that specializes in kilts. We mostly rent them out for weddings.) Me: “Okay, guys, you’re all fitted up. Everything will be ready for pick-up the Thursday before the wedding.” Customer: “Guys, you know what we have to do, right? We have to go commando! No wearing anything under the kilt!” *to me* “That’s the way to do it, right?” Me: “Well, gentlemen, we don’t have a policy on that one way or the other. Personally, though, before you decide, I’d advise you to take a moment and consider ALL the implications of the word…’rental.’” Customer: “What? But…oh…oh! Ewww!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 2:00 pm Post #21278 |
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The Greater Of Two Evils Video Game Store | Southend-on-Sea, UK (A customer with a small child comes into our video game store and slams The Sims 2 down on the counter angrily.) Customer: “Someone bought my son this game for his birthday. It’s completely unsuitable! Far too many adult themes!” Me: “Well, provided you have the receipt, you can exchange it for a more suitable game if you’d like.” Customer: “Okay, can you show me some games my son would like? Remember, he is only eight!” Me: “Sure…” (I show her a variety of games that would be fine for that age group.) Customer: “What about this one?” *points to Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas* Customer’s kid: “Yeah mum! I want that one!” Me: “Erm…I wouldn’t say that is a suitable replacement really…” Customer: “Well why not?” Me: “Well it’s about crime, and there are a lot of adult themes.” Customer: “But you can have sex and children in The Sims!” (I tried to convince her otherwise, but in the end she ended up buying GTA for her kid.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 2:19 pm Post #21279 |
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Ah, The Wonders Of Osmosis Vet | Vancouver, BC, Canada (A customer comes in to discuss care of his elderly, very ill cat. We talk about keeping the cat warm and hydrated.)‘ Customer: “So, I have this idea…I thought that if I put the cat in a bath, she’d stay warm and not be thirsty.” Me: “Well sir, I don’t think that that would be a good idea. She’ll get cold once you take her out of the bath. Also, putting her in water isn’t going to help her stay hydrated.” Customer: “You mean that if I’m thirsty and I take a bath, I’ll still be thirsty when I get out?” Me: “Yes, that is what I’m saying.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 26, 2009 2:24 pm Post #21280 |
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Taster’s Choice Retail | Massachusetts, USA (I was a customer at a store that engraves plaques, trophies, etc. and I witnessed this exchange.) Employee: *to another customer* “Hello, can I help you find anything?” Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for a specific plaque design.” Employee: “All right, what kind of design are you looking for?” Customer: “Uh…I don’t really remember what it looked like. But it tasted really bad.” Employee: “…let’s just look over here, shall we?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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