 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (68,964 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:12 pm Post #21221 |
 
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That’s One Heckuva Mega-Bite Tech Support | Austin, TX, USA Me: “So you want to return the game then, right?” Customer: “Yeah, and I wanna make sure I’m covered by the warranty.” Me: “You should be, as you purchased the game within 90 days.” Customer:“Okay, but let’s say that there are bite marks on the CD. Would the warranty still cover that?” Me: “…I’m sorry, what?” Customer: “I may have become a little upset when I couldn’t install the game and I might have chewed on the disc a bit…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:13 pm Post #21222 |
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The Geese Will Never Know What Hit ‘Em Museum/Garden | Chicago, IL, USA (At our gardens, we use dogs to chase geese away from delicate areas. I encounter two elderly patrons who are clearly unhappy.) Patron #1: “I think it’s disgusting that they allow dogs here.” Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am, the dog is an employee. He has a name tag and a paycheck.” Patron #2: “Then why don’t the employees chase the geese away?” Me: “That’s because the geese are meaner than we are. If you think you can do a better job, feel free to!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:15 pm Post #21223 |
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Honesty Against The Best Policies Retail | Staffordshire, England (We have a 5-item max policy for our changing rooms. One lady walked out with arms full of stuff, then went back for more.) Me: “Excuse me, it’s only 5 items in the changing rooms.” Customer: “Well, it’s never been that before.” Me: “Actually, we’ve been enforcing it for the last 18 months. See, there’s a sign.” *points at sign on wall* Customer: “I don’t actually read signs.” Me: “Well, at least you’ll know for next time.” Customer: “Oh, I won’t read it next time, either.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:16 pm Post #21224 |
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Variety Is The Vice Of Life Restaurant | Washington DC, USA Me: “Here’s your drink. Are you ready to order your food, or would you like some more time?” Customer: “No, I know what I wants. I wants the cheeseburger. That’s all.” Me: “OK, what kind of cheese would you like, and how well would you like that cooked?” Customer: “Huh?” Me: “Sorry - what kind of cheese would you like, and how well would you like that cooked?” Customer: “Whadya mean what kinda cheese? Reg’lar yella cheese!” Me: “OK…and how well done would you like that?” Customer: “Huh?” Me: “How well-cooked would you like the burger, sir?” Customer: “What you talkin’ ’bout, how well-cooked?” Me: “Would you like it cooked rare, medium rare, medium, medium well or well done?” Customer: “Now look - when I go to [another fast food restaurant] and order me a burger, they don’t ask me if I want it cooked! Course I want it cooked. I don’t want no raw meat. Now gimme a d*** cooked burger with some plain ol’ yella cheese!” Me: “Yes, sir!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:16 pm Post #21225 |
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The Offend-O-Bot 3000 Strikes Again Car Wash | Orlando, FL, USA (An old man walks into the lobby.) Me: “Hi, how are you doing?” Customer: “Everyone I can.” Me: “…” (The customer pulls out a cigar, lights it, then ashes it on the counter.) Me: “You can’t smoke a cigar in here.” Customer: “That’s what she said.” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:17 pm Post #21226 |
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Always Right, Even When Making A Nation Of 130 Million Vanish Call Center | Dallas, TX, USA Caller: “I need a provider who can speak Spanish.” Coworker: “Okay, we can find one for you.” Caller: “Really? What if I wanted a provider who spoke Japanese?” Coworker: “No problem, we have those.” Caller: “Really? You have providers who speak Japanese?” Coworker: “Yes.” Caller: “But Japanese don’t exist!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:18 pm Post #21227 |
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Pint-Sized Purification Medical Office | Portland, OR, USA Caller: “Hi, do you have any doctors that prescribe detox drugs?” Me: “No, we don’t provide that service.” Caller: “How do you know? You have lots of doctors. How do you know?!” Me: “We don’t specialize in addiction treatment. Our doctors aren’t that type of practitioner.” Caller: “Why?! What if I need them to be?” Me: “Well, then you would have to call another office.” Caller: “What kind of doctor’s don’t prescribe detox meds?!” Me: “Pediatricians…” Caller: “Oh!” *hangs up phone* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:19 pm Post #21228 |
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The Caffeine Makes Us Clingy Coffee Shop | Beaverton, OR, USA Me: “Hi! What can I do for you?” Customer: “I’d like an iced grande breve.” Me: “A latte?” Customer: “I don’t have to say latte!” Me: “I know what you mean, ma’am, but you should be careful. If you order that somewhere else, you might just get a cup of iced half and half.” Customer: “I don’t have to order like that at [ice cream store]! Me: “Ah–” Customer: “They’re less needy at [ice cream store]! It takes too much effort to get what I want here! GROW UP!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:19 pm Post #21229 |
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Paging Dr. Cold Cut Sandwich Shop | Laramie, WY, USA Me: “Would you like chips or a drink with your sandwich?” Customer: *surprised* “What?!” Me: “Would you like chips or a drink?” Customer: *shocked* “What did you say?” Me: *slowly* “I asked if you would like to have chips or a drink with your sandwich.” Customer: “OOOOOOH! I thought you asked if I would like to have surgery with my sub!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:20 pm Post #21230 |
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Fifi Feels The Sting Of Government Bailouts Bank | Florida, USA Me: “Thank you for calling [bank]. This is ****, how may I help you?” Customer: “I just went to the drive-thru at the bank’s **** location, and they were very rude!” Me: “I’m so sorry. Please explain what happened.” Customer: “I go there every day, and they always give my dog a doggy biscuit. Today they didn’t give him a biscuit!” Me: “I’m sorry. What else happened?” Customer: “Well…that’s it, but I always have my dog with me and they always give him a treat. They told me they’re not doing that anymore!” Me: “It’s not a requirement for the bank branches to give treats to customers’ pets.” Customer: “I’m going to close my account if they don’t start giving out treats again!” Me: “That is your decision to make. But again, it is not a requirement for a bank branch to give your dog treats.” Customer: “This is ridiculous!” *click* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:20 pm Post #21231 |
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Two For The Price Of Dumb Electronics Store | Grand Junction, CO, USA Customer: “I saw this same cord at [competitor] for $15. Why is it $20 here?” Me: “I don’t know, maybe they’re having a sale? I don’t set the prices.” Customer: “Well, will you price match?” Me: “If you can provide documentation, sure, I’ll do it.” Customer: “So if I bring in the receipt that shows $15 at [competitor], I can get it here for $15?” Me: “…so you want to go to [competitor], buy it for $15, and then come here to buy it again so that we can match their price?” Customer: “Yes. Will you match that?” Me: “Sure, why not?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:24 pm Post #21232 |
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Gotta Love Them DIY ‘Puters Tech Support | London, ON, Canada (I was working in warranties for a large computer manufacturer, mostly with businesses but a few individuals came through on the line here and there.) Me: “Thank you for calling ***. How can I help you?” Customer: “My computer don’t work.” Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. Can I get the serial number off of your CPU?” Customer: “My what?” Me: “The computer tower.” Customer: “Huh?” (I’ll spare you the agony but, I went on for about 3 more minutes trying to describe the CPU and getting nowhere.) Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t seem to be expressing myself well today. Can you describe to me all the computer parts on your desk? I’ll tell you which one the number I need is on.” Customer: “It’s just a keyboard and a screen, like any other computer.” Me: “Oh, you have a laptop!” Customer: “A what?” Me: “A little computer you can take with you. The keyboard and screen fold together with a hinge in the middle, right?” Customer: “No, I don’t! I don’t know what is wrong with you computer people today. First the sales guy tries to sell me a bunch of sh*t I don’t need in this big box package and now you don’t even know what a computer is! Brand new today and it don’t even work.” Me: “So…you just bought a keyboard and a monitor?” Customer: “What’d I need all the rest uh’ that sh*t in the box for? This was way cheaper! I ain’t stupid!” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:24 pm Post #21233 |
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Racism Rears Its Ugly Head, Gets Decapitated Fast Food | Charlottesville, VA, USA (Working at a sandwich place across the street from my college campus. One of my Spanish professors enters, and we chat in Spanish as I make her food. Another man comes in while we’re chatting, and stares at us.) Customer: “What the hell? Don’t you dare coddle that job-stealing Mexican!” Me: “Sir, that woman is a Ph.D. I can guarantee you, she did not steal your job. Oh, and she’s from New York. Can I take your order?” Customer: *storms out* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:25 pm Post #21234 |
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On Pennies, Principles, and Pissiness Home Improvement Store | Edmonton, AB, Canada (This is when I was working at a certain home improvement store in a rural area of Edmonton.) (A lady walks up carrying a bag of manure.) Lady: “Can you tell me the price of this item, please?” Me: “Sure thing. It comes up to $6.50, ma’am.” Lady: “$6.50? Hmm…I don’t suppose you can call [competitor store] and see how much they sell it for, can you?” Me: “Sure thing, ma’am.” (I call up our competitor, and it turns out they sell the same product for $6.49.) Me: “They have it on sale for $6.49, ma’am.” Lady: “$6.49! Would you be able to make a price match?” Me: “Uh….you want me to lower the price from $6.50 to $6.49?” Lady: “Yes, that’s right. Is that a problem?” Me: “Well, uh…” (She wants it lowered by a CENT? The store policy doesn’t let me lower it unless it’s a dollar difference, or by special request of the currently absent manager.) Me: “Erm…well, policy is that we can’t lower the price unless the difference is at least a dollar.” Lady: “What!? That’s crazy! I demand you lower the price for me, or I’m taking this straight to management!” Me: “Ma’am, there’s really no need to do that. It’s company policy, there’s nothing really I can do.” Lady: “FINE!” *throws down the bag* “I’m leaving and going to [competitor store]!” Me: “…Have a nice day.” (I’d like to point out that the nearest competitor store is about twenty minutes away. She’d have paid more in gas getting there than she would have if she just bought it here.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:27 pm Post #21235 |
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When Mood Swings Attack, Part 2 Fast Food | Waterloo, IL, USA (Backstory: A woman orders a Reuben sandwich and returns to the counter 30 minutes later with about a fourth of the sandwich eaten.) Woman: “I want to speak to your manager right now!” Crew member: “Sure, no problem.” *goes and gets manager* Manager: “Hi, what can I do for you today?” Woman: “Yeah, I got this reuben at 4 pm and it’s SOGGY!” Manager: “Well, ma’am, you purchased it half an hour ago…” Woman: “Well, I want a new one!” Manager, hoping to get the looney out of the store: “Sure, no problem.” (Suddenly, the woman goes from angry to flat-out crazy.) Woman: “HERE’S YOUR DELICIOUS REUBEN!!!” *rubs sauce on counter and throws part of sandwich at manager* Manager: *dumbfounded* Woman: “I’m sorry…it’s not your fault.” Manager: “…It’s alright…” Woman: *thinks for a second, then throws remaining sandwich bits at manager* (We all laughed quite hysterically, and our manager walked around with reuben sauce on his crotch all day.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:29 pm Post #21236 |
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When Mood Swings Attack Retail | Durango, CO, USA (Where I work, all cashiers are taught to ask how the customer’s day was, and if they found everything alright. Simple, easily answered and pleasant…usually.) Me: “How is your day, ma’am?” Customer: *quite happily* “It’s great, I can’t complain.” Me: “That’s good, did you find everything okay today?” Customer: *suddenly angry* “NO, I couldn’t find product X or product Y, nor did you have any of product Q in stock, so far in the past three weeks of me shopping here, I have come in and you haven’t had ANY in stock!” Me: “Well, I’m sorry about that, I could get a manager over and see if we could solve this prob–” Customer, cutting me off: “NO, this is absolutely unacceptable! I guess I’m just going to have to go to competitor A from now on!” Me: “I’m very sorry about that, ma’am.” Customer: “YOU should be, it’s YOUR paycheck!” Me: … |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:47 pm Post #21237 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:47 pm Post #21238 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:47 pm Post #21239 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:48 pm Post #21240 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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