 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (68,965 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 4:24 pm Post #21201 |
 
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[dohtml]<img style="visibility:hidden;width:0px;height:0px;" border=0 width=0 height=0 src="http://counters.gigya.com/wildfire/IMP/CXNID=2000002.0NXC/bT*xJmx*PTEyNDU1NDAyNDIyODEmcHQ9MTI*NTU*MDI*NDMxMiZwPTM5MDEmZD1ncmFwaGljcyZnPTEmdD*mbz1hMWJiNTk2NGU4NjI*YjM5OWQ5NTAwNjRlZTU2ZTQyMg==.gif" /><span id="pyzam-graphic-start" style="display:none"></span> <p><a href="http://www.pyzam.com/graphics"><img src="http://content.pyzam.com/graphics/0/BCexplore0604.gif" alt="Explore" border="0" /></a><br><a href="http://www.pyzam.com/myspacelayouts">Grab a new Myspace Layout</a></p><img style="visibility:hidden;width:0px;height:0px;" border=0 width=0 height=0 src="http://stuff.pyzam.com/misc/CXNID=1000015.68NXC.gif" /> <span id="pyzam-graphic-end" style="display:none"></span>[/dohtml] |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 4:26 pm Post #21202 |
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[dohtml]<img style="visibility:hidden;width:0px;height:0px;" border=0 width=0 height=0 src="http://counters.gigya.com/wildfire/IMP/CXNID=2000002.0NXC/bT*xJmx*PTEyNDU1NDAzNjE5NTMmcHQ9MTI*NTU*MDM2MzU*NiZwPTM5MDEmZD1ncmFwaGljcyZnPTEmdD*mbz1hMWJiNTk2NGU4NjI*YjM5OWQ5NTAwNjRlZTU2ZTQyMg==.gif" /><span id="pyzam-graphic-start" style="display:none"></span> <p><a href="http://www.pyzam.com/graphics"><img src="http://content.pyzam.com/graphics/other/BCdysfunction0729.gif" alt="Dysfunction" border="0" /></a><br><a href="http://www.pyzam.com/myspace2layouts">New MySpace 2.0 Layouts</a></p><img style="visibility:hidden;width:0px;height:0px;" border=0 width=0 height=0 src="http://stuff.pyzam.com/misc/CXNID=1000015.68NXC.gif" /> <span id="pyzam-graphic-end" style="display:none"></span>[/dohtml] |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 4:27 pm Post #21203 |
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[dohtml]<img style="visibility:hidden;width:0px;height:0px;" border=0 width=0 height=0 src="http://counters.gigya.com/wildfire/IMP/CXNID=2000002.0NXC/bT*xJmx*PTEyNDU1NDA*NTU5MjEmcHQ9MTI*NTU*MDQ1NzM1OSZwPTM5MDEmZD1ncmFwaGljcyZnPTEmdD*mbz1hMWJiNTk2NGU4NjI*YjM5OWQ5NTAwNjRlZTU2ZTQyMg==.gif" /><span id="pyzam-graphic-start" style="display:none"></span> <p><a href="http://www.pyzam.com/graphics"><img src="http://content.pyzam.com/graphics/6/BCgraphic51001.gif" alt="Dying" border="0" /></a><br>Get more <a href="http://www.pyzam.com/graphics">Graphics</a> and <a href="http://www.twitterbackgrounds.com">Twitter Backgrounds</a></p><img style="visibility:hidden;width:0px;height:0px;" border=0 width=0 height=0 src="http://stuff.pyzam.com/misc/CXNID=1000015.68NXC.gif" /> <span id="pyzam-graphic-end" style="display:none"></span>[/dohtml] |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 20, 2009 5:35 pm Post #21204 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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I'm stealing this one. 
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| Ltpondwater9 | Sat Jun 20, 2009 5:55 pm Post #21205 |
**Tomahawk Chop**
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I gotta check all those out when I get my interwebz back. 
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 20, 2009 6:02 pm Post #21206 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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You're gonna have a ton of backreading to do.
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| Ltpondwater9 | Sat Jun 20, 2009 6:03 pm Post #21207 |
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**Tomahawk Chop**
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 I bet. |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 2:37 pm Post #21208 |
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from notalwaysright.com I Shall Call Them…Mini-Mes Home Improvement | New Hampshire, USA Customer: *whispers* “Could I have six…no, make that eight ladybugs please?” Me: “You only need eight ladybugs? Or eight boxes? We sell them in boxes of one hundred.” Customer: “Yes, just eight individual ladybugs. And could you please keep your voice down?” Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t open a box to give you just eight. The rest would all fly away.” Customer: “Well, then I’ll take a box. ” (I ring her up and she takes the box of ladybugs over to one of our picnic tables. She takes one ladybug, whispers to it and then flings it into the air.) Customer: “HEAR MY WORDS AND DO MY BIDDING!” (After several more ladybugs have been released she brings the box back over.) Customer: “I’m not going to need the rest of these. You can keep them here.” Me: “Ma’am, can I ask what you asked those ladybugs to do for you?” Customer: “Well, ladybugs eat other bugs, which means they’re meat eaters! So I gave them the names and addresses of people I hate. That way, they can get a swarm of them and attack! If they eat meat then it’s just a matter of time before a whole bunch of them will eat a whole person!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 2:37 pm Post #21209 |
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Speechless In Savannah Bookstore | Savannah, GA, USA Me: “Hello, sir. This is Kristy and I’m calling to let you know the book you ordered has come in.” Customer: “Can I ask your name?” Me: “Um, Kristy?” Customer: “Well Kristy, I’m Steve. We’ve never met, but I can tell by your voice that you’re a beautiful person with pretty eyes. And I’m going to tell you that in the years you work at that store, one day a guy will come in and it might be me, but I won’t tell you my name so you’ll never know it was me and you’ll always think, ‘I wonder if that was that Steve guy?’ But if you guess, I’ll take you out to dinner. You have a good day now.” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 2:39 pm Post #21210 |
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Seriously, Folks, No More Cuts To Education Grocery Store | Temple Terrace, FL, USA (A customer walks up to me for assistance while I’m in aisle 14 of the grocery store.) Me: “Ma’am, what can I help you with today?” Customer: “I need to find bread crumbs.” Me: “Okay, well there are some on aisle 7 and also some in the bakery. Would you like me to show you?” Customer: “No, I’ll go find it. Is aisle 7 above or below aisle 14? I’m not real good at math.” Me: “Ma’am, I better show you where it is…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 2:45 pm Post #21211 |
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The Day The Earth Revolved Around The Customer Movie Theater | San Diego, CA, USA (I’m working in the customer service area when a woman approaches me.) Customer: “Excuse me, we are late for the movie…” Me: “Okay, would you like to wait for the next show or get a refund?” Customer: “No. Could you please rewind the movie back to the beginning?” Me: “…rewind the movie?” Customer: “Yes, you know…PUSH rewind so we can see it from the beginning.” Me: “Uh ma’am, these aren’t like VCRs or DVD players…these are huge projectors that can’t be rewound. Besides that, there are already other people in the theater. All I can do is give you tickets for the next show or a refund.” Customer: *exasperated* “NEVER MIND!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 2:45 pm Post #21212 |
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Party Priorities Print Shop | Detroit, MI, USA (I am setting birthday invitations for a customer’s mother’s 90th birthday.) Customer: “Well, it looks great, except for one thing…” Me: “Well, all right. Just tell me the problem and I can fix it.” Customer: *pointing to the location and address on the invite* “Can we remove this? There’s too much information, it looks really cluttered.” Me: “…you want to remove the location from the invitation?” Customer: “Yes! It looks like too many words; I certainly wouldn’t read all that.” *points to RSVP information* “Actually, take that off too.” Me: “How are people going to know where to go, or how to let you know they’ll be there?” Customer: “Oh, I’m sure they can figure it out!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 2:48 pm Post #21213 |
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He Fought The Law, And The Law Won Bookstore | Concord, CA (A man has been causing a ruckus at the registers for ten minutes and a line had formed behind him.) Man: “I’m a lawyer and I know my rights! If you don’t take this return I’m going to sue the living s*** out of you.” (A woman in a professional-looking business suit steps up to the register. In a cool professional voice, she asks to see the receipt that the man is waving. After a moment’s inspection, she gives him a hard stare over the rim of her glasses.) Woman: “Sir, the store’s return policy is clearly printed on your receipt. They cannot take back opened CDs.” Man: “But–” Woman: “FURTHERMORE, by purchasing from this store, you are accepting the store’s return policy as a signed contract that you agreed to abide by.” Man: “I–” Woman: “IN ADDITION, by blatantly trying to circumvent this contract signed by you, no judge would rule in your favor.” Man: “But I–” Woman: “If you really were a lawyer, you would be fully aware of this fact. By claiming to be a lawyer when you are clearly NOT, you are committing an act of fraud, which can get you arrested.” (The man turns white and flees the store without another peep.) Woman: “I’ve had eight years’ experience working behind the registers, dealing with people like him. MAN, that felt GOOD!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 2:49 pm Post #21214 |
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1-900-WAR-PATH Customer Service | Texas, USA Me: “Thank you for calling [phone company]. How may I help you today?” Female caller: “I’ve got this charge on my phone bill for almost $200, and I didn’t call that number.” Me: “Okay, ma’am, that’s not a problem. Let me get you phone number and I will pull up your bill.” Female caller: *gives phone number* Me: “Okay, I see one phone call to [phone number] for a total of close to $200. What I will do is call the number and find out what it is. If they know you, I can not credit you for this; if it is a business number, I also can not credit you for this.” Female caller: “Well, nobody in this house called that number. It’s just me and my husband, and we don’t know that number!” (I put her on hold and call the number; it turns out to be a phone sex hotline.) Me: “Ma’am, thank you for holding. I’m sorry, but that is a business number that charges per minute. They actually added the charge, not ourselves. I can’t credit your account.” Female caller: “What the f*** do you mean you can’t?! I demand this off my bill!” Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but they added this charge–not us. They billed it through us to you for calling them.” (At this point, I can hear her husband is in the background yelling and cussing about it too.) Female caller: “If you keep saying it’s a business that charged this, what is it?!” Me: “Um…’Big Girls…Want Your Love’, ma’am…” Female caller: “What in the h***?! Nobody called that–” *both her and her husband suddenly go quiet* Me: “…Ma’am?” Female caller: “I will deal with this b***s**t myself!” *slams down the phone* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 2:50 pm Post #21215 |
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And You Thought The ED Commercials Were Bad Computer Store | Winnipeg, MB, Canada (Note: I’m helping a male customer find an IDE cable for his PC.) Me: “…and the cables are right here.” Customer: “This is for a full tower case. What’s the longest cable you have?” (I measure the largest cable I can find. I think it was 20 inches.) Customer: “Oh, that’s a bit too short.” Me: “Sorry, that’s the longest I have. What sort of length were you looking for? I might be able to order something…” Customer: “I need about 22 inches. That’s the story of my life…always two inches too short!” Me: *chuckles* Customer: *turns bright red and leaves in a hurry* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 2:52 pm Post #21216 |
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Bad Combinations: Sharp Knives And Dull Minds Retail | Ontario, Canada Customer: “I’d like to return these knives.” Me: “Okay, was there anything wrong with them at all?” Customer: “Well, they were very sharp and my wife cut herself.” Me: “Sir, knives are usually sharp. Unfortunately, because you’ve used them there is nothing I can do.” Customer: “But they were extremely sharp! We were hoping to find a set that wasn’t so…sharp?” Me: “So you’re looking for a set of dull knives?” Customer: “Yes, do you have any that are more dull than this?” Me: “No…have a nice day!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 2:56 pm Post #21217 |
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Why Indoor Drive-Ins Never Took Off Movie Theater | Michigan, USA (Two older teenagers come up to my booth to buy tickets.) Me: “What can I do for you guys today?” Customer 1: “One for ‘Up’.” Me: “That’ll be $6.50.” Customer 2: “Same for me.” Me: “Sure, $6.50.” Customer 1: “Those school buses parked outside, they’re not seeing this movie, are they?” Me: “No, sir. They’re on a school field trip to see Night at the Museum 2.” Customer 2: “I don’t think they have seats big enough, anyways.” Customer 1: “Big enough for what?” Customer 2: “School buses.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:03 pm Post #21218 |
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Double Your Solar, Double Your Fun Tour Guide | Norway (I had a job on a boat, taking tourists out to sea so they could take really nice pictures of the midnight sun. One day, one of the tourists came up to me.) Me: “What do you think of the midnight sun?” Tourist: “Yeah, it’s really nice, but tell me one thing. On the map of our solar system, where is the midnight sun located?” Me: “Er…the sun?” Tourist: “No! I know where the sun is, but where is the midnight sun?” Me: “The midnight sun and the sun are exactly the same, but when you are as far north as you are now, and since it’s summer, the sun never sets.” Tourist: “WHAT THE F***?! I’m gonna sue your sorry a** for false advertisement! I didn’t come all the way from the US to watch the sun I have back home! *storms away* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:04 pm Post #21219 |
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Desperate Times Call For Half-Hearted Measures Clothing Store | Canada Me: “Three items? Here’s your fitting room, let me know if you need a hand.” (The customer goes in, stands there for five minutes and searches the fitting room.) Customer: “There’s no mirror.” Me: “Nope, but as you can see there’s a mirror right outside.” Customer: “That won’t do. Can I have the handicap room, please?” (The handicap room is a larger room with a bench and mirrors.) Me: “I’m sorry…that’s reserved for customers with wheelchairs and strollers.” Customer: “But I want it.” Me: “Sorry, it’s a store policy…obviously someone with a stroller or a wheelchair can’t fit in a normal fitting room, so we have to keep that one free.” (The customer lifts one arm, laden with jeans and shopping bags. She waves it around, and points to it with her other arm.) Customer: “…but, my arm is broken!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:11 pm Post #21220 |
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Chernobyl Over Ciabatta Bakery | Missouri, USA (Woman comes to my coworkers drawer and orders a loaf of ciabatta bread. Coworker rings it up and hands it to her.) Customer: “This isn’t a loaf of ciabatta.” Coworker: “Yes, ma’am, that’s our ciabatta.” Customer: “No, this is NOT ciabatta! You don’t know what you’re talking about! I know a loaf of ciabatta when I see one!” Me: “Is there a problem, ma’am?” Customer: “Yes! I ordered a loaf of ciabatta, and this is not a loaf of ciabatta!” Me: “Yes, ma’am, that is a loaf. See, here…it says ‘Ciabatta loaf’.” Customer: “No, this is ridiculous! This is not a loaf of ciabatta!” (At this point, the customer is hysterical, near tears, and waving the bread wildly.) Me: “Let me get you a manager to speak to…” *gets the manager* Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?” Customer: “I ordered a ciabatta loaf and these kids are trying to sell me THIS!” Manager: “That is our loaf of ciabatta. When is the last time you visited our store?” Customer: “About a year ago.” Manager: “Ah, that’s why. We changed the size of our loaf about six months ago.” Customer: “Thank you! Now why couldn’t you tell me that?!” *points at me* Manager: “She’s only been here two months. She wouldn’t have known.” Customer: “PATHETIC!” *pays for bread and storms out* Next customer: *shocked look* “Wow.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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