 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (68,967 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:08 pm Post #21161 |
 
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Most People Can't See Me, Y'know Awkward middle-aged man: Hi. College student: Uh, hi. Awkward middle-aged man: Sorry I keep staring at you. It's just that you remind me of a mythical creature. Or maybe it's a Muppet. College student: Oh. Let me guess...Snuffleupagus? Awkward middle-aged man: Yes, that's it! --6 Train |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:33 pm Post #21162 |
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Which, Coincidentally, Is Also the Name Of My Band. Chick: I wanna get me one of those, like, silent dogs? Guy: It'll probably be a sneaky dog. --1 Train Overheard by: de kraai |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:33 pm Post #21163 |
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The First Glitch in Your Matrix Is Always the Hardest, Honey Obese middle-aged lady: So I went to mail a letter...and the mailbox I've used for 25 years was gone! What do you think that even means? Did someone steal it? Why would they just remove a mailbox? Skinny middle-aged white man, incredulously: I've never heard of anything like that in my entire life. Obese middle-aged lady: I know, I was literally standing there for 15 minutes wondering what to do. I missed my train, I really don't know why they would remove a mailbox. Skinny middle-aged white man: That is crazy. I've never heard of that. (couple then repeats variations of the same conversation for the next three stops) --Downtown 1 Train |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:34 pm Post #21164 |
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People Are Drawn to Closing Doors, Like Moths to a Flame Conductor, very loudly and emphatically: This is 28th Street. 34th Street is next, stand clear of the closing doors! Four-year-old girl to mother: Why is he upset? --Uptown 1 Train Overheard by: mersayseh |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:34 pm Post #21165 |
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My High School Class Voted Me "Most Likely to Be Murdered" Girl #1, on her way to Flatbush: Oh my god, I'm so late and it's getting dark! Girl #2: So what? Girl #1, in frightened tone: Are you kidding me? What if something bad happens to me? Girl #2: Don't worry! I don't think anyone will want to rape you. Girl #1, angry: Excuse me! I'm totally rapeable! --4th Ave & Bayridge |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:35 pm Post #21166 |
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Dude, You Got Mad Geezer Skills! Old man #1, yelling at unstopping cabs: Hey! Hey! Come on! Old man #2, with cane, hobbles over: No, no! You've gotta use your cane. Like this! (sticks his cane out into the street, a cab stops) Old man #1: Hey! Next time, I'm bringing my cane! Old man #2, hobbling away: You're welcome. --W 57th b/w 9th & 10th |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:35 pm Post #21167 |
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Remember When He Brought Home The Layin' King? Girl #1: Yeah, and then my dad brought home Dumbo, to watch for himself! Girl #2: Yeah, but at least it wasn't porn. --Fordham University |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:36 pm Post #21168 |
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That's the Feminist Critique Of My Academic Career Hipster boy playing Big Buck Hunter: Yo, I should write a feminist critique of Big Buck Hunter. Hipster girl: Wouldn't it just be, "fail"? --The Turkey's Nest Bar, Williamsburg Overheard by: Kid Kyle |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:36 pm Post #21169 |
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Victoria's Most Well-Kept Secret Son to father: Daddy, do they sell Spiderman clothes in here? Father: No, I am pretty sure they don't sell Spiderman stuff in here. Son: Yes they do! --Victoria's Secret |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:36 pm Post #21170 |
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Yeah? F#ck Both Of Them. Old man on bus: Are you going to watch the derby? Younger man on bus: No...I don't like horse racing at all, actually. I think it's cruel. (pause) Old man: You remember Paul Revere? Younger man: Yeah. Old man: He rode a horse. --Bus Into Port Authority |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:37 pm Post #21171 |
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Interestingly, He Agreed. Annoying college girl #1: Your boyfriend is so sweet! Annoying college girl #2: I know. Did I tell you what he did? He sent me an e-mail with teddy bears in hearts with flowers all around. Annoying college girl #1: Awww. Annoying college girl #2: Yeah. I told him he was gay. --Penn Station Overheard by: serena |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:38 pm Post #21172 |
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That "Stacy's Mom" Video Ruined My Whole Generation Indian girl to boyfriend: Can you believe she did that? I was just like "what the f#ck?" Boyfriend, obviously not paying attention: Mhhmm. You're right. Indian girl, angrily: Stop thinking about my mother's breasts! --Kimmel Student Centre, NYU Overheard by: I know I would |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:39 pm Post #21173 |
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The Best I Can Offer You Is French Vomiting Drunk woman: I just went from good drunk to bad drunk. I don't even want to have sex anymore. Drunk man: I don't even think I'd know how. --Outside Bar Overheard by: diana |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:40 pm Post #21174 |
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I Already Took Out Your Garbage and Walked Your Dog-- What More Do You Want? Asian clerk, yelling at gangsta guy: No, you angry. You not have to come in here and be angry like that. Gangsta guy, trying to pay for something he wants to buy: I don't need to be yelled at. You ain't yellin at nobody else in here. You ain't yellin at nobody but me. Asian clerk: No, no...you angry in here. Gangsta guy: You ain't yellin at nobody else. I don't need to be yelled at. That's what I got a mom for. --Penn Station |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:41 pm Post #21175 |
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He Gets 90% Of His Information from Fox News Hobo: Hey, this weather sucks huh? BMX kids: Yeah, totally. Hobo: You know, the Koreans find storm clouds before they come and shoot them with missiles, so they never get bad weather. BMX kids: Wow, why is our weather still bad? Hobo: Koreans... --Times Square Overheard by: Dylan |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:42 pm Post #21176 |
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...Unless They're Just There to Sell Speed. Fingers Crossed! Drunk guy with baggy pants #1, watching two hot girls outside library: Daaamn! Drunk guy with baggy pants #2: Yeah, man! Drunk guy with baggy pants #3: Yeah, they're geeks, though. --Outside NYU Library |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:42 pm Post #21177 |
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That's Something You Have to Figure Out for Yourself, Young Padwan Gay man in hipster glasses, sticking ass out: Papi! It hurts! Open it up and see what's wrong! Blonde white girl, whining: But what does that meeeeeeannnnn? --Bleecker & Perry |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:42 pm Post #21178 |
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Stop Talking As Though Your Brother Doesn't Exist! Dad: You are being very annoying right now, you know that? 10-year-old girl: Well, it's a good thing mom didn't have twins, huh? --World of Disney Store Overheard by: CollegiateCutie |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:43 pm Post #21179 |
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...Based on Those Inappropriate Jeans Alone. Irritated girl, yelling at boy: No, no, no, no! Old man, pointing at boy: No! --78th St & West End Overheard by: Husky Gregg |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 1:45 pm Post #21180 |
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Total C#nt. Teenager to friend: Well, her name is Alexandra, and I was not hooking up with her... Random passerby, interrupting: Yeah, that's right, I once knew a girl named p#ssy! --West Houston St Overheard by: nickwe |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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