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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (68,969 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 11:57 am Post #21121 |
 
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Perhaps We Could Discuss Free Coffee...Wesley Coffee vendor: That iced coffee will be eight dollars, and the straw will cost you fifty cents extra, ha ha. Cashier: Man, Joe, that coffee's expensive! Coffee vendor: Why'd you gotta say my name, man? What if my baby mama came up in here looking for child support and youse be sayin' my name?! --Westside Market my comment: she doesn't know what he looks like? |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 11:57 am Post #21122 |
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Unless He's Laughing at My Style Crazy woman to mother of laughing baby: He likes me! At least you know he ain't gonna be gay! --14th St & Ave B |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 11:58 am Post #21123 |
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The Best Part Is, They're Talking About Children's Programming Guy #1: May I presuppose what I think you're trying to articulate, which is, that the core universality of your character's arc needs to be explicitly emphasized in the color palate? Guy #2: I think that's fair, but I'm not sure you can go there with an audience. Guy #1: But isn't the whole narrative journey bringing them there? Guy #2: Yes and no. Essentially we can't bring them there, because we can't get there ourselves. Guy #1: Hmmm, I'm not sure if I agree with that. Guy #2: We can't get there. Our protagonist can't get there, he can't bring us there with him. Guy #1: Where? Guy #2: The river. Guy #1: Why is he going to the river? Guy #2: Because that's--that's--that's the thing. That's the thing he has to do. It's like, he is that river, and that's why we go to a wide-shot there. Guy #1: I do see the wide-shot there, but I think we need more exposition for the catharsis to work. --Think Coffee, 3rd & Mercer Overheard by: todd |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 11:58 am Post #21124 |
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You Can't Walk Like an Egyptian Without Lots Of Lubrication Woman to man: He's got this charm about him--he's slimy, like he's Egyptian or something. (man, uneasy, looks around to check there are no Egyptians in there) Woman, quickly: I don't mean "slimy" in a bad way. Man: Sure. --A Train |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 11:59 am Post #21125 |
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And You Said My Electronic Organizer Could Do Everything! 30-something suit #1: Wait! So you didn't have time to f#ck her? 30-something suit #2: No! I made time to f#ck her, but it sucked. --6th Ave & Waverly Place |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:01 pm Post #21126 |
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My Therapist Says That's Why I Don't Get Any 40-something man: Hey! I know you! You're Victor's daughter, right? Teenage girl: Yeah. 40-something man: Wow, look how tall you've gotten. You probably don't remember me, but I'm a friend of your dad's from way back. Teenage girl: Oh, awesome. (smiles) 40-something man: So...how are you? Still in school? Teenage girl: No, no, graduated and taking a year off and then studying to be a lawyer. 40-something man, shaking head: Well, be prepared for a life of celibacy. --34th St & Park Ave Overheard by: Sessi Li |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:02 pm Post #21127 |
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Then She Pepper-Sprayed Me and Ran Off with the Book Latina girl #1: Oh my god, I was, like, so excited for Christmas, 'cause I thought my cousin was gonna get me that ill jacket I saw at the mall but he got me... (pauses for effect) Latina girl #2: Oh my god, whaaaat? Latina girl #1: The Twilight series! Latina girl #2: Oh my f#cking god, are you serious? Latina girl #1: Yeah! And I was like, "papi, I need a new bookshelf for my Twilight books, you know? Latina girl #2: Yeahhhhh. Latina girl #1: Yeah, so then he was like, "aight, I'm gonna get you that bookshelf." It was sooo exciting. Latina girl #2: Didn't you already have the first book? Latina girl #1: Yeah, I did. But I lent it to Jean Carla, and she gave it back to me last week. Oh man, I'm so protective of it, and it got bent. I was on the train, trying to bend it back, and I was like so upset, and this lady came up to me and was like, "sweetie, you alright?" and I said, "no. I won't ever be alright." --N Train Overheard by: No Longer A Twilight Fan |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:02 pm Post #21128 |
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Unless, Like Me, You Shit Yourself on the Way Home Neighborhood drunk: (unintelligible) Guy: I do! I get all my toilet paper at the 99 cent store. Neighborhood drunk: Then you're one step ahead of the game. --5th St & 1st Ave Overheard by: wza |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:03 pm Post #21129 |
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...in Between Rounds Of Square Dancing. Little boy to older sister: Look at that ugly bird. Older sister, bored: Yeah, wow. Little boy: I wanna crash it...stupid bird. Older sister: Don't do that baby, it's not nice. Little boy: Why not? I just wanna crash it. Older sister: Because serial killers kill animals when they're little. Little boy: What's a serial killer? Older sister: It's something white people do for fun. --7th Ave & 9th St, Brooklyn Overheard by: I have yet to kill anyone |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:04 pm Post #21130 |
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Is This a Racial Incident? Discuss. Hobo with cane: Is that a Pit Bull? Man with dog: No, it's a Basset Hound. Hobo with cane: That's impossible, Basset Hounds do not exist. It's a Pit Bull! --Broadway & 10th St |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:15 pm Post #21131 |
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As Do I, Dear Lady. As Do I. Cute, somewhat cracked-out blonde: What kind of shot is this? Bartender: It's my special shot. Cute blonde: Um...does it go with Lorazepam and Adderall? Bartender, trying not to laugh: Well yes, yes it does. --Karavas Place, W 4th St |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:30 pm Post #21132 |
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And We'll Be There Shortly, Woman! Male conductor: Due to the lateness of this train, the next stop will be Bay Parkway. (pause) Female conductor: The next stop will be 62nd Street. Male conductor: This train will now run express. The next stop is Bay Parkway. Female conductor: Con-duct-tor! The next... Male conductor: Okay, okay. The next stop is 62nd Street. --D Train Overheard by: I hate the D train |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:30 pm Post #21133 |
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It's Like They're Being Shot Out Of a Giant Canadian Cannon Aimed Toward Me Guy, standing with two women: So of course, now every woman that comes my way is from... (nods, waits for women to finish his sentence) Women: Newfoundland! Guy: Right! --Union Square Park Overheard by: not a newf |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:31 pm Post #21134 |
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And If She's Pregnant, Her Problems Are Deep-Seeded Woman: I think she has deep seeded problems. Man: Did you say "seeded," like s-e-e-d-e-d? Woman: Yeah, why? Man: It's "seated." Deep "seated" problems. Not "seeded." Woman: That's stupid. Why would a problem be "seated"? Seeds are deep, not seats. Man: Seated, like, positioned. Woman: Go pick your nose. Man: Fine. Just remember when you told me there's no part of the body called a "bone of contention." Woman: I am so kicking your ass later. --Civil Court, Livingston Street, Brooklyn Overheard by: Big Larry |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:31 pm Post #21135 |
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I Had the Front Door Locked and Everything 20-something girl in floral dress #1: I know! I was just like, "stick it in my ass already!" 20-something girl in floral dress #2: I know, right? --Great Lawn, Central Park Overheard by: The Boss |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:31 pm Post #21136 |
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It's Like the Dominatrix Of Cities Elderly woman to elderly man, as a young girl narrowly escapes getting hit by a car: Oh my god, what is it with these crazy people!? I hate this city more and more each day. Elderly man: Well then, why do you live here? Elderly woman: Because I love it. --83rd & Broadway Overheard by: Dee Dee |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:34 pm Post #21137 |
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Even His Mistress Doesn't Put Out! Female suit: Every time he answers his phone it's with his business greeting. Like, it's your wife, dude, just say hi! God, I hate him. Gay suit: Yeah, it's like she's the only person who thinks you're important, anyway! --5th Ave & 55th St Overheard by: CollegiateCutie |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:35 pm Post #21138 |
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I Don't Care If She Has a Name. Now Make Me a Square Burger, Bitch Dopey guy: She looks like that chick on the Wendy's commercials. Less dopey guy: Um...you mean...Wendy? --Drop Off Service, 13th & Ave A Headline by: aileen |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:36 pm Post #21139 |
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Oddly Enough, It Was an Obama Hat. German lady, to no one in particular: You know, I vunder. I tink dat de only persons in USA who vatch Two and One-Half Men are from, like, Alabama. Or Nebraska. Someplace not in a city. Student-type guy: Oh yeah? German lady: Oh yes, for sure. I vould be shocked if anyvone on this train watches that show. Charlie Sheen is shit. Student-type guy: Whatever. Just don't watch it. German lady: No, I do not vatch this. I don't have cable. I hate Charlie Sheen. Student-type guy: No cable? How do you know anything about the show then? How do you know anything about anything? German lady: Oh, I know lots of things. Student-type guy: Who is the President of the United States? German lady: (silent) Student-type guy: Are you fucking kidding me? You don't know who the President of the United States is and you're talking about f#cking Charlie Sheen? Get the f#ck off this train! ...and your hat is stupid! --Uptown 1 Train Overheard by: Dice To That |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:37 pm Post #21140 |
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Ever Since I Accidentally Tripped Over Them Tall girl: I think I saw his brother in the chorus of a show I saw for my job. Short girl: Word. Tall girl: Yeah. Short girl: Yeah. There's four of them. And they're all beautiful. It's so not fair. I'm weird-looking and, according to my grandma, my brother looks like the love child of Jake Gyllenhaal and Sanjay Gupta. Tall girl: And your parents are short Jews. Short girl: I can't believe you remember that. --Downtown 1 Train |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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